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Afterplay/losing interest after ejaculation


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younger guys, and some older guys, once they acme, not only lose intersest, but start feeling guilty, like they had done something wrong.  a good way to avert this is casually to tell guys that the reason this happens is not psychological, but physical. as a guy approaches orgasm, his testosterone level is rising rapidly. the minute he cums, that level drops precipitously.

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I think it really depends on the guy. I've certainly been with guys where, once they cum, the show's over. But I've also had my share of guys who are still horny and keep fucking me, or who say they need a breather but have more, or want me to fuck them. Now some of those guys aren't "all top" and get horned up by my fucking them, which is cool. Age plays a factor too. Younger guys just tend to be a lot hornier and are ready to go again more quickly. 

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On 8/12/2023 at 3:04 PM, NWUSHorny said:

It seems to me they want to have the romantic parts before they even know their partner.

Yeah, that does sound a bit back-asswards to me too.  There can be very firm loving relationships that endure for many years, but the foundation of those relationships are emotional, spiritual, whatever you want to call it.  A wanton sexual component can be a foundational part of the relationship, but that can develop later too.  

I'd never heard of these "cuddle" events before you mentioned them (I think previously?), and at least for me, it doesn't add up.  Maybe these guys are trying to develop relationships on a deeper level than the wanton sexual level, and I'd be curious to know what percentage of them are successful.  In the various gay social clubs around here, I'm very sure there are guys who meet, get to know each other a bit, fuck, and go on to develop a loving relationship.  That's just not what I'm after when I hit the fuckjoints.  

Edited by hntnhole
crooked fingers
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So, I've heard of these cuddle events.  I'll be honest, if I'm in the mood for just that, then I'd go.  But if I'm at the saunas, this is the last thing I'm willing to settle on.

This convo is going on at just the right time.  I went to one of my local saunas last night - was relatively slower than usual, but I still got some action.  Ended up having quite a good session with a guy; went on for a while.  Figuring that things would have largely died down toward the end, I didn't think I'd get any other play for the night after we were finished.  He asked me if I'd cum in his mouth - agreed to only on the provision that he kiss it back to me and that I'd be too tight for more fucking after that.  He agreed...finished fucking and loading me, then we did the afterplay to get me to cum.  Actually was a great finish to the night.  

Had the sex not been good, I'd have just tapped out at some stage; however, I felt the need to reward my top for a good fuck of the night. 🙂

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guys who run off 2 secs after nutting are rude imho. i honestly don't know how they do it as i need a minute to return to "normal" breathing, heartbeat, etc. i hate the feel of shoving my now over sensitive , still half hard junk into clothes etc it's so uncivilized and imho shamefilled. 

cuddling etc is different and requires somekind of emotional connection even if it's as thin as "god you're a good lay!" 

but i agree that the possibility  of round 2 action does sometimes help me stick around 😜The guy has to be a pretty shitty lay for me to be "hit the road jack" 

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On 8/12/2023 at 6:10 AM, Piggyybttmm said:

That's most men no? If I cum while bottoming I immediately lose interest most times. Or at least need 20 minutes
 

 

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried in vain to explain that to a “top” who insists on trying to stroke or suck me until I cum, even after I’ve patiently informed them that I have zero interest in receiving such attention. 

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On 8/13/2023 at 9:15 AM, alwaysready said:

younger guys, and some older guys, once they acme, not only lose intersest, but start feeling guilty, like they had done something wrong.  a good way to avert this is casually to tell guys that the reason this happens is not psychological, but physical. as a guy approaches orgasm, his testosterone level is rising rapidly. the minute he cums, that level drops precipitously.

I used to be like that long time ago, but not anymore, I don't lose interest in whoever I have sex with unless I am not truly into them. 

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31 minutes ago, norefusal said:

after nutting are rude imho. i honestly don't know how they do it as i need a minute to return to "normal" breathing, heartbeat, etc. i hate the feel of shoving my now over sensitive , still half hard junk into clothe

You are such a gentleman 🙂

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On 8/11/2023 at 10:50 AM, FelchingPisser said:

Isn't that the way men are built?   I've heard wives complain about it for years...

Exactly  most of us lose total interest in sex, or even in touching or coddling. I had a longtime fuck-buddy who fucked me for many years, very masculine good looking guy, nice body. As he shot his load his entire body became very sensitive to the point that I couldn't touch him while he was breeding me and a minute or so later.  He had a beautiful body but I couldn't touch him at all.

It's sometimes awkward for two guys who know each other to cum after having been fooling around. There are some nervous laughs and the mood of the encounter changes completely. Maybe go out and eat. I prefer the anon scene so I don't have to deal with that.

I like going to bathhouses because there's a lot of flexibility for fetishes. Things happen spontaneously and the possibilities are endless. I leave open the door of my room, which I keep in the darker side. Most visible to guys walking on the hallway are two glow-in-the-dark items, the hole in my shorts and a sign CUMHOLE.

I spend a few hours, many guys are surprised by what they see and many walk in. Eventually I get fucked and take the load. Once the guys pull out, most leave right away. Some lose energy for longer time and the lie exhausted, but with no real interest in fooling around in any way. But I'm horny as hell, especially when I can feel it in some way. I open the door again, and start again, horny as hell.

When I was in my 20's a gay friend who was maybe 10 years older told me that he liked getting fucked because then he can keep having sex. I took his advice and became what nos is called a bottom.

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I've been with both extremes (those who fuck me or get their blowjob and immediately leave or kick me out, and those who are fine with cuddling or sticking around and having a beer and chat) and everything in between. Honestly, I'm fine with all of it. I'm always good for socializing afterwards, but not offended at all if it's just a pump and go. We both got something out of it either way. My sub personality is ideal for me because getting used and told to fuck off is as big a turn on as a top (and there have been several) who pulled me into them and fell asleep with their dick still in my ass or in my mouth. I guess I'm lucky that way.

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9 hours ago, HoneyBuns1980 said:

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve tried in vain to explain that to a “top” who insists on trying to stroke or suck me until I cum, even after I’ve patiently informed them that I have zero interest in receiving such attention. 

I have the same issue. A lot of tops don’t understand that if I cum before them… shows over. They’re not gonna be able to continue after that, at least not for a little bit

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  • 2 weeks later...

If I cum before the top  which rarely happens,  I have no problem continuing until he cums.  But 99% of the time,  once he has cum  it's time to go.  I rarely want to cuddle or have after play.  I don't care how hot the guy is.   If I think there is a good chance of him going for another round, that's a different story.  

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Yesterday I had a semi-regular Top swing by to fuck me, and he likes to start off eating ass, finger-probing my prostate, and trying to get my cock hard in his mouth (usually a futile effort) before he gets down to breeding. Well, yesterday, he must have found some special determination, because he kept at his foreplay until he actually made me cum, and took my load in his mouth, before moving straight to mounting me.

He did himself no favor in doing that as far as the fuck he received, because cumming totally threw me off my service vibe, and I wasn’t able to respond for him with anything like my usual skills. An ejaculatory orgasm is not a rewarding thing for me; it’s unpleasant and energy-draining. I often wish Tops who use me would just understand that when they’re with me, it really is all about their climax. That’s not true for all bottoms, but it is for me.

Now with this local Top, now that he’s succeeded in milking one out of me, I have a shrewd idea what I’ve got coming…

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4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

An ejaculatory orgasm is not a rewarding thing for me;

You are nothing special because this is true for most men. It has nothing to do with being top, bottom or versatile.

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

it’s unpleasant and energy-draining.

That's why in French the male orgasm is called "La petite mort".

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

it really is all about their climax.

As much as you enjoy watching other men shoot their load, other men like it too, including a guy who fucks. Just look at how porn is full of cumshots which in porn is called "money shot" because seeing a guy shoot his load is what sells the movies.

All men have to deal with the postorgasmic issues of feeling tired and loss of sexual interest.

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