Are millenials having less sex?

[ScorpionFF]

Thank you for your resonating comment @Spunkinmyarse. Even though I am completely out of action for the moment that is not stopping me now and then laying the ground work (is that in itself futile) for when the time comes. As an example and to connect to your comment I recently was chatting online with this twink who like me is into full Leather Gear and was an interesting conversation to say the least. He would never do bareback even if in a monogamous relationship, and would never be rimmed as he thinks as he put it.... unhygienic. As said, your comment very much resonated within myself. 

On 1/28/2024 at 11:59 PM, Spunkinmyarse said:

I think this has unwittingly led to the demonization of all sexual activity.

I agree. And yes, a great shame indeed. 

Edited January 30 by LeatherScorpionFF
word change

[ScorpionFF]

20 hours ago, hntnhole said:

These folks that spend hours a day on social media are denying themselves of actually "meeting"- interacting others, in-the-flesh.  There's no substitute for actually interacting with others

Indeed @hntnhole. And I agree. For me the internet is great for information, I have learned a lot that I would not have done without it. But on the other hand I also can see the negative impact on humanity as even though we are connecting with others online we as a species have predominantly become disconnected on a deeper level. My perspective at least. Maybe there will be an event that will reverse us to better times where real time interaction is how it used to be. 

21 hours ago, hntnhole said:

I wonder if some of these people could go more than an hour (I mean being awake) without fooling with their damned phone

Or go to an event and just actually be in the moment and ENJOY it without having to fucking film it. Oh look, I am having a fry up for brunch, let's take a photo and share it.... EAT IT before it gets cold, no one gives a rats arse what you are eating, well, unless it's cake, I can make an exception there, ha. 

[hntnhole]

On 1/28/2024 at 6:59 PM, Spunkinmyarse said:

puritanism is being born

Here in the US, that baby has been born, grew up fairly quickly, and is as emotionally stunted as a rock.  

[hntnhole]

On 1/28/2024 at 11:48 PM, ErosWired said:

I’m just hoping I’m dead before civilization becomes unrecognizable.

Ditto that !!!  When real "living" becomes impossible, I'd sooner be outta here than still here.

[JamesL100]

Those echo chambers are deafening with lack of discussion and shouting down of any dissent. It's not call anti-social media without reason.

[Sharp-edge]

I'm trying to decipher this behavior (of not actually meeting).

Many people seem to be busy. Or act like it. Some people connect and they may say oh you know what I'm not logging in frequently. So I'm like what are you doing here then? Some other people say "I'm not looking for something". But come on you're in a dating app how can you be here without wanting something? And then we have the guys that are too hasty. They want u to go for a coffee right now. Sorry but I can't drink coffee or other beverages with someone because I just like his one profile photo. I need a little more contact than that. I'm not afraid to "invest" some of my time.

Sometimes I think that maybe a majority of gays are having unrealistic expectations. That is why they are not interested too meet in real like. They wait for a prince or something. When I met my guy it was in real life without using an app. I had not seen him naked before I actually get him unrdressed. 

If I could magically change two parameters in the game called love, I would a) increase the percentage of gays (at least three times) and either make gays have realistic standards or make gays extraordinary lovable. When a gay guy loves another guy he has to overcome many obstacles. Is he gay too? Is he sexually what he needs? We end up in small numbers, especially in the countryside. Instagram has made us a global village with hot men sharing their fake life. And some people got stuck in that.

For me love is simple. It takes a glance. When your eyes meets his the rest are on their way. Like a chemical reaction. All we need is bring the two reactants into a reasonable distance.

[hntnhole]

31 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

Sometimes I think that maybe a majority of gays are having unrealistic expectations. That is why they are not interested too meet in real like. They wait for a prince or something.

That's an interesting point you make.  Lots of guys today weren't around before all the apps and whatever, and had to either sit alone or get their asses out and mingle with the rest of the crowd.  That's how guys used to meet, sniff each other's ass, and decide whether or not to fuck.  Meeting in-person at some bar/club, walking down the street, in some store, wherever they both happened to be, and at the same time. 

Meeting a "Cinder-fella" just doesn't happen all the time in real, actual life, and most of us don't need absolute perfection anyway.  No guy - including ourselves - is perfect.  Having faults, working to better ourselves is part of being human.

[Sharp-edge]

15 hours ago, hntnhole said:

That's an interesting point you make.  Lots of guys today weren't around before all the apps and whatever, and had to either sit alone or get their asses out and mingle with the rest of the crowd.  That's how guys used to meet, sniff each other's ass, and decide whether or not to fuck.  Meeting in-person at some bar/club, walking down the street, in some store, wherever they both happened to be, and at the same time. 

Meeting a "Cinder-fella" just doesn't happen all the time in real, actual life, and most of us don't need absolute perfection anyway.  No guy - including ourselves - is perfect.  Having faults, working to better ourselves is part of being human.

Some guys feel just uninterested. Their hunger is satisfied for seconds while scrolling. They may jerk and they get back to work/their lives. This is a vicious cycle that some people have fallen in. I'm not sure if those who call themselves bators actually want it or they are inside a hard-to-realise loop. 

Cinder-fella huh? Never heard of that term before. For me it's not about perfection. I do need to like the guy. Mostly his face and an average body. What I need is to have someone be an inspiration for me. This can tie the whole thing and make it last when the lust fades.

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

For me it's not about perfection

I agree completely:  every single one of us falls short of perfection in some ways.  That's just a part of being human - no one, first and foremost ourselves - is perfect.  That said, your comment about needing inspiration strikes a chord with me as well.  Thanks.  

[lycis]

On 1/28/2024 at 3:59 PM, Spunkinmyarse said:

This whole topic is coming up ever more frequently in conversations with my fellow Gen-X contemporaries. I’m currently on sexcation in Gran Canaria, and this year more than ever I’ve noticed that the only guys really going for it seem to be ones aged 45 and up. There are very few young guys in the sex clubs, and those that do find their way inside one seem unwilling and/or unable to play, not only with us old-timers, but even amongst themselves. Same with the Dunes. I thought that maybe it was all happening online, but I had a 25-year-old friend staying with me for a few days, and he found there wasn’t a lot going on there either. I did accompany him one Saturday night to the big ‘disco’-style gay bar (Mykonos) and its after-hours sister club (Mantrix), just to see what was happening outside my own cum-soaked bubble: plenty of younger gay guys in evidence there, all partying away with their female friends, so they obviously haven’t disappeared completely. But interestingly, the dark rooms in both clubs were completely dead: it’s clear that sex just isn’t a priority for these guys.

I think it’s a shame for us and for them. I enjoy playing with guys my age and older, but diversity is always a good thing, and it would be fun if some younger guys got back in the game. And I really do think they are missing out on one of the great joys in life, and will be somewhat stunted as human beings for the lack of it.

I suppose in an effort to minimize the kind of historical sexual abuse that we’re all so painfully aware of these days, these kids have had it drilled into them that they should respect their own bodies and the bodies of those around them. But I think this has unwittingly led to the demonization of all sexual activity. Add to that regular bouts of hysteria about STI’s, etc- and it’s not surprising that young people view sex as dangerous and dirty, and something to be avoided. A new form of puritanism is being born, and although thankfully I don’t feel that at the moment younger generations are in any way judgmental about the disgraceful activities indulged in by their elders, I do fear that that day may come.

Huge counterpoint... am millennial, still wanting lots of sex & have a pretty good sex life... and have noticed a similar drop off. I don't think it has anything to do with the reasons you mentioned, because those "reasons" were all around 5 years ago and 5 years ago sexual promiscuity in general was as crazy as ever, at least around where I live (SF area).

 

People would throw fuck parties and they'd be packed. Lots of action on any weekend night at steamworks. My mid 20's self was surrounded by like minded people, all around my age. I can confidently say, millennials aren't having less sex for any of the reasons you mentioned.

 

Really, what happened was COVID mixed with people getting older, mixed with general life anxiety increasing. Suddenly for 3 years you just couldn't do this stuff. Then next thing you know, it's too expensive to live in the cities where a lot of these biggest events were going on (and/or event rent was too expensive so events stopped happening). Both helped make things much more "app" and "one-on-one" focused if you were even bothering to get your horn dog on. Then, right when all of this was happening, many millennials are entering into their 30's. Not everyone in their 30's "slow down" but a lot do, and you know what helps force you to slow down? A global pandemic. Combined that with getting used to just using apps, the draw of going to fuck parties just isn't the same for many of these people (not me!).

Hell, my husband is the perfect example of this. He was, defacto, one of the horniest cumdumps I've ever known, even online. Like, hitting 150+ load record weekend in his early 20s. When I met him, the pure instinct cumdump energy was strong and its part of why we're such a great sexual match. Then... covid happened. He went through some hard loss in his life as an indirect result of COVID, and I helped him through. Plus, just the act of being cooped up for over a year settling the brain down and reprogramming it a little. Now, he's actively just not interested. We'll fuck around with ourselves and friends, sure. And the sex is as great as ever. But he genuinely only goes to fuck parties now if I want to go and want him to be my wingman, and even then I can tell he's not really "into it". Which, was a shame... because right before COVID happened we has big discussions of taking an "off year" from playing around with friends to truly sexually let loose and go to tons of events.

I think genX is used to only getting their rocks off through the help of things like saunas, bookstores, events, cruising, etc, which might by why you're seeing an age bias at the things you are going to. They're the kind of people who are going to stick with that approach and not just stick with apps. And I feel like if you're genX and still horny, you didn't get hit with the 30's libido drop that a lot of millenials are getting hit with the first time.

As for genZ, I know a good handful of very horny genZ but yeah - the horny ones are a bit more of an exception. I think it's for similar reasons though that I outlined above. COVID just stole everyone's winds from everyone's sails and not that many people have bothered to put the wind back in them. I think the reality is, when times are good and things are bountiful, people fuck - a lot. When they aren't and when things are stressful - people tend to withdraw. The entire generation of Baby Boomers is proof of this.

 

 

 

Edited February 2 by lycis

[lycis]

 

Quote

 Instagram is full of half naked half-unclosetted gays who don't actually do something. Many of them also have Twitter where they just show their body and genitals and many also have onlyfans.

 

I have three friends who are exactly like this and it drives me nuts (none of them do it for money). All constantly thristpost and have the bodies to gain the internet points.

All get genuinely uncomfortable when their thirst posting draws real flirting/comments beyond "Looking good!". One was "sexually assaulted" at a party, when in reality it was just someone being physically flirtatious affectionate to them. I'm not one to judge what someone's personal definitions of sexual assault are and I'm not saying his boundaries weren't pushed. It's more an observation that someone I'd brand as having a HYPER SEXUAL identity online in reality is completely asexual. And actually, all of these people are gay-asexual. They genuinely don't like sex, they just like to advertise that they do and never commit.

Lots of theories can be had, but I know for one of them at least anti-depressants are involved. He just has no libido because of them. The other one has always had depression/hormonal issues his whole life and has never felt even a hint of sexual attraction until he started taking testosterone. The third, no idea but I suspect its a similar thing.

Anecdote doesn't have a point - just sharing similar observations. We're living the society of spectacle in full force. And vanity points can be an attractive hamster wheel to jump on if you've got the body to back it up. The thing is, I don't think these people would have ever been sexually active in any timeline - its just they are certainly more visible now and have a platform to safely "show off the goods" without "wanting the follow through".

Edited February 2 by lycis

[NWUSHorny]

16 hours ago, lycis said:

 

 

I have three friends who are exactly like this and it drives me nuts (none of them do it for money). All constantly thristpost and have the bodies to gain the internet points.

All get genuinely uncomfortable when their thirst posting draws real flirting/comments beyond "Looking good!". One was "sexually assaulted" at a party, when in reality it was just someone being physically flirtatious affectionate to them. I'm not one to judge what someone's personal definitions of sexual assault are and I'm not saying his boundaries weren't pushed. It's more an observation that someone I'd brand as having a HYPER SEXUAL identity online in reality is completely asexual. And actually, all of these people are gay-asexual. They genuinely don't like sex, they just like to advertise that they do and never commit.

Lots of theories can be had, but I know for one of them at least anti-depressants are involved. He just has no libido because of them. The other one has always had depression/hormonal issues his whole life and has never felt even a hint of sexual attraction until he started taking testosterone. The third, no idea but I suspect its a similar thing.

Anecdote doesn't have a point - just sharing similar observations. We're living the society of spectacle in full force. And vanity points can be an attractive hamster wheel to jump on if you've got the body to back it up. The thing is, I don't think these people would have ever been sexually active in any timeline - its just they are certainly more visible now and have a platform to safely "show off the goods" without "wanting the follow through".

Too many guys at a sex venues that have issues with the hypersexual behaviors that are typical at most gay sex venues can put a major damper on the amount of sex. It isn't a new problem or any one generations issue, and can be true at almost every sex venue in some regions. In the PNW it is a long term regional problem that crosses all generations. 

[hntnhole]

On 1/31/2024 at 8:38 AM, Sharp-edge said:

Cinder-fella huh?

Well, sometimes I just play a little with words ... 

[BlackDude]

Maybe in the straight community. But Gen-X killed off the sexuality in the gay community. 

[tallslenderguy]

Wow, just seeing this great conversation, but i have to get ready and go to work... i look forward to being off and joining.

Just a quick short: i go to the gym every other day, and consistently am often the only one without a phone and without ear buds or headphones on.  Even in potentially social settings, we end up being isolated from each other by technology.