GermanFucker

IMHO the most important thing is that a guy is interesting. A conservative, even an inexperienced guy can be an interesting encounter. A promiscuous slut that doesn't really engage when having sex can be boring as hell If you know how to fuck and are able to establish a personal connection with your partner, it doesn't really matter, if you've swapped seed with 5 or 5000 guys before. So at least to me the question of slut vs. conservative isn't really the most relevant / important. A very tight hole can be just as fun. Sure, if you're fucking a virgin's or a top's ass, he's usually not as good as an experienced bottom, but it's fun, because it's a different experience: It can be stimulating on a psychological level. At least to me it's a turn on to know that I'm the first guy to put my seed in there. Or to know that the guy I'm shooting my load in is usually the one to do the seeding. Other than that I'd disagree: A perfect ass shouldn't be loose and sloppy, but - for lack of a better word - "grippy". If you feel the muscle tone on your dick, that fine balance of pulling you in with just the right amount of resistance, which at the right pace feels like your dick being milked by the ass. Not just the occasional tightening, but a lasting, intimate grip, to me that's the best.

IMHO there's good slutty and bad slutty and it's important to know the difference. First of all forget about drugs. Drugs make you indifferent. Letting every guy cum in you just because you're fucked up and don't care is not the same as enjoying the moment and finding something hot about a wide variety of guys. The mark of a good slut is that he doesn't waste his time on finding "appropriately" hot/rich/cool/experienced/aged partners, but has sex for its own sake and as its own gratification. There are so many guys that live lifes of fear and inhibition and need drugs to let go of these, and frankly that's pathetic. All you need is to realize what you're meant to be and what you're priorities are. For crying out loud, just enjoy yourself and don't give a flying fuck about what others think. Don't be afraid of what your boss or judgemental acquaintances might think. But also don't let anyone talk you into stuff just because THEY think that's what makes a real slut. Sex is much better when two (or more) guys make a concious decision to enjoy each other instead of just living out some form of addiction or clichee of a certain role. Stay true to yourself and just cherish the ride with as many guys as you like. Indifference, on the other hand, makes you boring. If you're 18, that's not a problem. 18-year-olds can be boring as fuck, they will still get plenty of seed up their ass chute. But twenty or thirty years from now it will make a difference if guys think you're just a "washed up slut" or if they say "you're such a slut. but what a great fuck. let's do it again next week".

I think it's a bit more complicated than that. I think you're right in that the first wave of AIDS denialism was born out of shock and helplessness. But I don't think it died away, it just moved to other groups with financial interests, who often have very little contact with poz people themselves. Today IMHO AIDS denialism is perpetuated by a coalition of esoterics, vegans, animal rights activists, and all kinds of alternative medicine quacks (not saying that all alternative medicine is per se bad, just saying that there are quacks who make money by hurting people). Just one REAL example of a poz denialist from a german-speaking raw food forum: http://27718.foren.mysnip.de/read.php?27820,107593 But be forewarned, it's neither pretty nor does it have a happy end. That's simply not true. There are countless essays and lectures that have comprehensively debunked Duesberg's claims, which for the most part rely on outdated information, unfounded conjectures and outright lies.

Ideally it's not just about getting one's dick wet or watching another guy fuck bareback (safer sex only guys often do that, intentionally going for bottoms who are getting fucked raw. It's the closest thing to being a barebacking bad boy they'll allow themselves) but also about the comradery of two tops sharing a bottom. That intensity makes up for the lack of finesse of the BJ. However, if the bottom is completely inexperienced or otherwise incapacitated, so that e.g. he will bite the oral top's dick when receiving a deep thrust up the ass, he should better ignore the second guy and stick to what he is capable of.

Just my 2 cents on the topic (might add more if I think of something): Total darkness is just as bad. Usually guys want to see who they're fucking. So if you're into total anonymity by means of darkness, say that beforehand and make sure the top is okay with that. Often, I'd be happy enough if they just stuck to MTV/VH1, which is one can ignore. Went to a guy once who had a 24h news channel running in the background. "NOROVIRUS outbreak at a local ELEMENTARY SCHOOL" was what really killed my mood. Couldn't agree more. Also: Too many guys focus on non-essential stuff. I met a guy recently who was all nervous trying to find the right music and complaining that he doesn't like hosting because he has to take care of all the stuff, so that noone could really get in the mood. If he had just shut up and forgot about the music and focused on the fucking, it would have been fine. That is BY FAR the biggest NO-NO. And I agree 100% percent. If you want to do drugs (not talking about a beer or a bit of marihuana - we are talking about Colorado, right - which makes you mellow but doesn't turn you into a zombie), find others who are into that. Because it's more than just a legal issue. E.g. if you've done a lot of meth or ecstasy, you might think you're hot, but you're really, really not. Instead you're just on a different planet from the sober guy. It isn't a moral thing, it's a question of selfish behaviour vs. both having enjoyable sex. Doing drugs without talking about it beforehand is about the same as pissing on a guy without asking. You wouldn't do that, either, because most likely he won't like it.

Probably not the worst, but the most recent: I had been chatting with this guy. A bit too slutty for my usual taste (kinda girly tattoos, too well groomed), but he had a cute face and definitely looked fuckable. So I'm my usual straightforward self, telling him that I'd like to hook up, but I'm not in the habit of telling my whole life story before we've even met. Which makes him get even more inquisitive. So he asks me about my job, my girlfriend etc. (which I don't particularly like when it's just about fucking) and finally my status (which is fine by me). So I tell him I'm neg (which I am) and ask him his. No answer. So I said: Hey, it's only fair if I tell you mine you tell me yours. So he accuses me of being a liar (which I'm not), lecuring me that all barebackers are by definition poz (huh?). It got slightly more surreal from there on (even though I tried my best to be friendly and have a sober discussion, trying to explain that I'm well informed and know what I'm doing) until he finally blocked me. I don't know whether it was drugs (I suspect it might have been). Or lack of information on his part. Or just prejudice against those with a different lifestyle. All I can say is that it was truly uncomfortable and that IMHO the distribution of idiocy has nothing to do with serostatus.

Strangely I find the idea that rather than just live and let live (and enjoy oneself sexually every which way one pleases) there is a right and a wrong way to have an orgy quite immature. Sometimes maturity means accepting the world for what it is. Don't get me wrong, I understand the allure for versatile guys to have a party where everyone has to both top and bottom. If I were vers. I'd find such a setup very hot. But I'm one of those natural tops (Bottoming doesn't give me any sexual pleasure at all, to me it's the same as wearing diapers, eating feces etc.). So I can't go to such a party. In reality, your suggestion is like me saying there should be women, too, because hey, the other guys should be willing to do it all. But just as I can accept that not everyone is bi, it's a fact that not everyone is versatile. As to the initial question: If you have three or more total tops, you need more than one bottom. I know slut bottoms will say "but I took 15 loads once". Big whoop, I fucked 15 guys once, seeding 6 of them in one night. But that's the exception, not the rule. In reality / everyday life if you have four tops (meaning around 10 loads), even most good bottoms will run into problems (staying clean, getting sore etc.) over the course of an evening. So you need an alternate, if you want the group to enjoy themselves for hours (i.e. if it's about the fun, not just about the numbers / challenge for the bottom). So anything from 1-1 to 1-2.5 (maybe slightly higher for very large groups) is a good ratio, and you can trow in as many (truly) versatile guys (meaning: who like both positions equally, not versatile bottoms) as you like.

I think it depends on how you define "running into". Seeing the profile of an acquaintance from the gym (or even a trainer there) on a gay hook-up site? Happens all the time. Running into a shy nondescript guy from your college seminar at a hardcore bareback orgy - now, that was much more memorable.

First of all: Teaching and bartending are good jobs if you are depressed, as they provide a constant stream of human contact. But if you are seriously considering suicide (there is a somewhat of distinction between considering suicide and "suicidal gestures" which are a just a cry for help and attention, albeit it's not all black and white), you should be equally serious about getting help, because you need it. Even just 45 minutes of therapy every week can help - A LOT. You also have to ask yourself what is really important. We all think we need certain stuff when in reality we earn money to look good for others, be it a hot outfit for a date or a bigger car so one's neighbor will be envious. Your mental health should be a higher priority than that. You don't have to become Ghandi. But you should take a step back from the rat race and focus on what really matters.

No, we don't.

That's the depression talking, which IMHO is your main problem right now. The HIV can be dealt with with meds. And even if it's inconvenient to go on meds for you right now, you still have plenty of time. Your immediate problem right now is depression. Which alters your brain chemistry so that you can't think clearly. It tells you that there's a perfect life out there and you're not worth it. Well that's bullshit. Everyone has shit to deal with, myself included. Life is messy and sometimes dirty. But that's no reason to feel shameful or worthless. Of course HIV changes a person. So did the heart defect of one of my family members. Being told one might need a transplant soon makes one rethink your options as well. So did the cancer of a close friend, who had both testicles removed at a young age. So did disabilities, autoimmune diseases, accidents, heck one might even say that goes for marrying the wrong partner as well. Not being a gay barebacker doesn't mean your life is perfect. And HIV really isn't different. Don't let anyone tell you one disease is noble and one is dirty. They're all just pains in the ass. But then again, theyre all just things that happen in one's life, and we can adapt to that. Because there are other things as well. Finding the right partner. Building a house. Getting a promotion. But right now you can't see that. Because your head is all fucked up by the depression. And even without further suicide attempts, living with depression has a significant impact on your health. Probably more so than HIV. Just like treatment for HIV, you need help navigating your way back to mental health. Let me repeat: Your real problem right now is NOT HIV. It's the fact that the shock has rewired your brain and you're not thinking straight. So best see a THERAPIST. You need one right now. Other than that: Don't shut yourself away from life, instead keep your daily routines. But do things that feel good, even if it's just reading a book while sunbathing in the garden. Approach the changes in your life in a sober way. If you can't make up your mind (which HIV specialist to see, when to go on meds, what insurance to get, whom to tell, etc....) because emotions cloud your judgement, "fake it till you make it", i.e. just act as if it weren't a big deal, as if you were giving advice to a friend and go with the most logical choice. Chances are, it's the right one. And once you realize, as you will if you just give yourself a little time (with the help of friends and hopefully a therapist), that you're not defective, that it isn't your fault and that you don't owe your family, calmness will set in and YOU WILL BE FINE.

If you've fucked for, say 20 minutes, the additional 20 seconds of exposure it takes to cum, won't make any difference risk-wise for the top. He might fuck other guys and is just being extra careful in case he caught something from the other guys before a test would show. Either way, everything said here is just speculation. If you want to know, you should tell him that you'd like his cum in your ass, even if it is "less safe". If he doesn't go for it you can ask him why he REALLY doesn't want to seed you. But in the end it is up to you to decide whether you want to trust him and accept his explanation.

The most important thing about being a top is attitude. The way you carry yourself has to say "I want to invade you", not "ravish me". Not all of that can be learnt. But the basics are simple. One thing is positioning. Easy to get wrong but just as easy to do right: Deny access to your ass while granting easy access to your dick. E.g. leaning against a wall is a classic cruising posture for tops: You can't get to the ass, but the cock is accessible at an 180° angle.

One has to keep in mind that medically "approved" doses (that were historically prescribed to keep awake or for weight loss purposes) are much, much lower than what addicts use. Pervitin aka. Panzer Chocolate (meth) was prescribed by Wehrmacht doctors in 3mg doses. AFAIK (having no personal experience with meth whatsoever) recreational doses are twenty or even a hundred times that. So while Adam's admittedly has a point, I wonder HOW MANY of those who might use the medical methamphetamine argument to rationalize recreational use actually fall into the same dosage category.

IMHO it's not the issues themselves that automatically lead to a drug habit, for many it's not as straighforward as "I'm being bullied so I need to numb the pain". It's more the lack of self-worth which comes with it that makes one vulnerable. That wish to be part of a community. The idea that one doesn't have an intrinsic value as a person, instead forever judging oneself by how hot and fuckable one is and to which circles one belongs.

Of course one can get HIV by topping, just look at Africa. However, the example of Africa (where most men get it from women when they are freshly infected themselves) also shows that the most important factor remains viral load. If it is very high, the top also has a high risk. Not as high as a bottom, but still immensly high. If the bottom is on meds the risk the risk is as near as makes no difference zero.

I voted no. Anyone whose sex life depends on the opinion of other shouldn't be having sex at all. It's your life, so take responsibility. Personally I find bugchasing supremely pointless. Just als poz1956 said: Why try to become poz when you can have just as much good just letting the dice roll (or even going on PrEP). But hey, for some guy's it's their fetish. A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do. If being poz is your one obsession, noone can talk you out of it. But please, for the love of God, make sure that it's YOU who really wants it. Not some anonymous wankers on the internet talking you into it. Do what feels right for YOU. If sex means living someone else's fantasies instead of your very own, there's something going wrong.

One should point out: Taking pills that mess with your digestive systems and / or the way water is being stored and processed in your body without necessity, espcially if taken for prolonged periods of times, usually isn't a good idea. At least one should discuss with a doctor if there is a risk of problems (metabolising other medications etc.) and how much / how long can be considered safe.

BECAUSE I AM A MAN. Period.

Frankly, I don't really see what the big fuss is when it comes to other STDs (well maybe not hepatitis), because things like clamydia or gonorrhea are treatable / curable. You just have to abstain from sex for a short while and and follow doctors orders. There's nothing dirty or shameful about it. I once talked to a young barebacker, who basically told me "Well, I will get HIV and I'm fine with that, but I'm really afraid of syphillis." What the fuck? I've had syphillis. It's a short pain in the ass (literally, as you get antibiotic injections in the ass), but then it's gone. Just go see a doctor and deal with it. Nothing to worry about too much.

Just as a side note: I hope this decision was not just a way to avoid getting tested. It's always better to know one's status.

IMHO a tattoo is just a tattoo. Only the person sporting the tattoo really knows what it means to him and why he chose it. Sure, amongst gay barebackers a biohazard tattoo almost always means "poz", but assuming that maybe 5% of all men are gay, I'm not even sure within the whole population the majority of all men with a biohazard tattoo are poz. So it holds that specific meaning only for and within a small group. So yes, poison animals are an alternative to the blatant biohazard symbol, and many poz guys will choose them for that reason: To make an intimate personal statement without being overly obvious. But they are also cool tattoo art in general. So it always depends on the guy and the situation. If a bi guys who discovered barebacking 4 months ago has one, he probably just liked the design. It's likely different with the guy who shows up at every bareback orgy in town. But unless one asks, were all just making asses out of ourselfs (u and me) by assuming.

Reminds me of a guy I once fucked (bareback of course). After we finished I just had to ask: "What was that squeaking sound?" - " That was the condom in my sock. But man, you're so big and I just couldn't deny you...." The moral of the story: It's not enough to bring one.

I like variety, but it's gotta be somewhat muscular (after all the ass is a muscle). That can be slim and toned or beefy. I don't like bony or saggy asses. When it comes to body hair, it's always the same answer from me: It's gotta fit your type, whether it's a smooth boyish ass our a hairy rugged outdoorman's bottom. Just don't try to be something you're not (like if you have 4 hairs on your ass but let them grow to a foot's length... yuck). Proper weight training: squats, deadlifts etc.

How about simply, honestly saying so? If you have a condom lying around that only means that you don't mind being fucked by a rubbered-up dick. If you want to make sure the top uses a condom, bring your own, tell the top at the appropriate moment (i.e. early enough so that he can leave and find a better bottom) and be unequivocal about it. The rest is up to the top to decide. However, be prepared for the top to walk away. That being said, why should anyone here help you to steal tops away from bareback bottoms *LOL.