bearbandit

You got an author name to go with that title, Tiger? Sounds like it's worth reading...

Find someone who's an expert and who has small hands and get him to teach you how to take a fist. I can barely span an octave on a standard piano and have lost count of the number of "referrals" I've had. Be vocal: let him know what's good, what's not good. He hasn't got x-ray eyes and there's a limit to what he can feel. Don't expect to be able to take punchfucking straight off: take things slowly; get each stage right and feel comfortable about it before moving to the next. Poppers might help, but it's probably better not to use them lest you get carried away. At most a single beer or slug of whiskey as a relaxant - no other drugs. Let your body learn how to do it. Fuck, you've got me horny now...

Thank you - I realise I've become a one-man-band on the issue, but the way so many people just accept what their doctor says, I try to get people asking their doctors the awkward questions the doctors might prefer weren't asked... The UK system of approving drugs is largely the same as the US, except for the fact that all the work has to be be duplicated: the European countries don't trust the US drug companies. It's standard fare for Post Exposure Prophylaxis, but I'm unsure if it's actually "on-label" yet. I see little reason why it shouldn't, given that it's available in the USA. A common practice here is in monogamous serodiscordant couples the positive person can get onto treatment at a much higher CD4 count than would normally considered in order to protect the negative partner from infection. We're beginning to see the start of treatment as protection here, though it's going to be a long haul, I believe, before it becomes an acceptable idea to the British public, especially when you hear, as I have, "of course I'm HIV negative - I had test five years ago"...

Sorry Jizz, but there had been attempts at 3 drug combinations before that: the goal was to have a drug from each of the drug classes to knock HIV seven ways to hell. Result: poisoned patient, much of the time. I remember finishing the nevirapine trial and discovering that I'd been eating chalk for two years: brilliant! A whole drug group available to me... although I later took nevirapine, I don't think I would have enjoyed efavirenz (highly psycho-active - makes about 20% od users the feeling that they're tripping)

Nothing I've said in my account(s) of tenofovir poisoning has been to elicit pity, but rather to warn guys that this can happen, and I discover on a regular basis that it's happening to more people that the makers of tenofovir are admitting to. Fortunately, it's thought that the new formulation of tenofovir (the one that sticks to the sites where HIV tends to congregate) will be available by the end if the year. The new formulation will replace the existing fumarate compound in truvada and probably be available as a stand alone drug. Were it not for the side effects it can cause tenofovir would be pretty well near the perfect drug. I'm also glad to hear that the health authorities where you live are taking the problem seriously (as demonstrated by the range of tests they demand over such a short period): in the UK experienced patients might only see the consultant once a year if their bloods are stable.I went from normal bloods to problematic bloods in less than three months (despite a nine day stay on the trauma ward after breaking my ankle in between). No-one in Trauma thought to investigate why my bones were so soft (tenofovir), so I was discharged when they felt I'd adapted to my cast and gave the rotator cuff injury that I may have sustained at any time time in the previous month no attention at all other than to note it (my memory was already going). Yes, I'm angry about what tenofovir did to me, and as far as I'm concerned the best revenge is living well afterwards - giving the makers of the drug a little negative publicity helps too. Truvada has been a first attempt at PrEP: They're moving the goalposts at the end of the year with the re-formulation of tenofovir. But it's proved largely successful, like cracking a nut with a sledgehammer (if you'll pardon the unintentional pun). Let's hope that future attempts at PrEP are able to avoid heavyweight drugs like tenofovir.

Piss on the hole then a raw fuck's good too. But if the piss is staying outside I'd rather be covered in it...

I'd add in here the capacity some men have for convincing themselves that a negative result result confers some sort of magical immunity on them. It's reckoned in the UK that something like 25% of people with HIV don't know they have it (random unmarked phials of blood are tested - no way can these samples be traced back to the donor). One of the reasons I stopped going to a local play party was that "my presence spoiled their fun as they had to have safer sex". One guy "knew" he was negative because he'd had a test. Five years ago. And he'd only bb'ed with other guys who'd tested negative. Personally I wouldn't put my trust in a group like like that... I'd say that the safest guys to have sex with are those that know they're positive and have achieved an undetectable viral load - if he's bottoming the risk is about the same as fucking anyone else with a condom. The risk goes up slightly if he's topping without a condom. The thing that HIV unknown guys forget is that the general rule is that guys with HIV tend to see their doctors more often so things that might have turned nasty are stopped long before they prove a problem. There are arguments that someone infected today will have a slightly longer life expectancy because of the extra care we receive and the fact that we generally end up looking after ourselves better. I have a horror of passing it on, but I'd quite happily get fucked (assuming the absence of other STIs) by negative guys. However, I only fuck guys who are already positive. I believe the oral sex transmission figures are inflated by guys who can't bring themselves to say they like it up the arse.

Define sex. One of my favourite memories is of sitting in a restaurant, taking my time over a meal knowing he had a butt plug up his arse and was getting more and more uncomfortable as I was getting harder and harder...

No, you want to hit the Spartans of HIV first so the strong ones are out of the way, and then it's a mopping up operation forcing what HIV is left in the body into its hidey-holes. You keep taking the meds every day to make your bloodstream and cum toxic places for the virus.

Appropriately sized syringe (NO needle!), bottle of olive oil, job done.

Thank you MascMountainMan, JizzDumpWI and GoodExercise - you both underline my point about TasP in different ways: the drug companies are about selling drugs almost regardless of consequence. For me to get my potential partners on PrEP would get the tills ringing and also put their health at risk (again I admit my tenofovir reaction has been extreme, but there are lots of other side effects possible: it's not known as the farty drug for nothing). PrEP proved that it was possible; we now need to find the right drugs to use and truvada ain't it. You want, for some insane reason to keep a ram in a field of sheep; which is cheaper: multiple hysterectomies or a single castration? That's why TasP makes sense (though the analogy I just made has me crossing my legs): keep my VL undetectable and I can't pass it on. The challenge is that it's reckoned that 25% of people in the UK with HIV don't know they have it: some because they've never tested and some because they've only just caught it. The more of this missing 25% we can test and get started on treatment if it's indicated the better for all of us. Trouble is that it takes a lot of persuasion to get people to take an HIV test and you get idiots running around saying "of course I'm negative: I had a test five years ago". A quick note to JizzDumpWI: my experience with side effects is acknowledged by the medical establishment here as being extreme. It comes partly from being diagnosed so early time-wise and starting treatment within a couple of years: there was no conception of what the correct dosage might be so everything was diagnosed in massive overdose. This now rarely happens, if at all. My concern is that truvada is the drug that's being handed out for PrEP when we know that there is a severe problem with one of its component drugs, requiring more frequent monitoring of kidney function than the medical establishment is allowing for. To MMM - the article merely confirmed my suspicions as regards the kidney damage tenofovir causes. Apparently all the publicity still says that the damage is easily reversed on cessation of the drug. They lie.

Anyone taking truvada for PrEP should also be aware that tenofovir (one of the component drugs) is capable of causing massive kidney damage and the three month check-ups recommended are not frequent enough. I had the worst that tenofovir can throw at you a year ago and I still haven't recovered. Looks like I'll be on vitamin and calcium supplements for life. That's the bad news. The good news is that tenofovir is being re-formulated so that it stays more in the places where HIV is known to hide out, rather than freely roam the system as the current formulation does. This new formulation of truvada will use the reformulated version of tenofovir (which, because of its efficacy against HIV, has become something of a cash cow). If you're going for PrEP, do not miss a dose ever and have your doctor keep a close eye on your kidney function. With the current (fumarate) formulation we're seeing moderate to severe kidney damage after three or four years of use. The inability to absorb vitamins and minerals is one thing, how do fancy thinning/softening bones? For fucks' sake be careful with this drug. My HIV doctors see truvada as PrEP as being proof of a concept (I was in hospital recovering from the effects of tenofovir poisoning when the news came through): we can use a drug to prevent HIV infection. Truvada most probably isn't the right drug, but, as you say it does work. Personally I'm more interested in the concept of TasP (treatment as protection). An undetectable viral load is as good as a condom for HIV prevention purposes, though obviously you miss out on some of the other anti-STI help a condom can give. Basically TasP throws us back in time to the seventies when we went to the clinic every three months for a checkup whether we needed it or not. Back then it was just part of life, something you did. Negative guys taking truvada... It's pioneering stuff. Hope it goes well for you.

The US guidelines give 500 as the CD4 count at which to start meds, though of course there are exceptions to this, such as if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't have HIV, in the UK at least, they'll let you start meds at 800 or 900. The things you need to know from your doctor are (a) your CD4 count and ( your viral load. Before you start meds, the CD4 count is the important measure (think of it as a measure of vulnerability to other infections: for example I only ever get thrush in my throat if my CD4 dips below 300). After you've started med the viral load becomes more important as it's the amount of free virus in your blood attacking CD4 cells that's important. The aim of medication is to get your VL down to undetectable (in practice between 40 or 50 copies per millilitre of blood in the UK). The earlier you start this process, the more likely you are to be successful in getting to undetectable. Also worth bearing in mind is the fact that the healthier you are when you start treatment, the more likely you are to stay that way. A number of the most common combinations are available in a single pill - how many seconds does taking a single pill take out of your day? The downside is that that/those pill(s) must be taken every single day, which some people find they can't deal with as it's a daily reminder that they've got HIV. A lot of guys get their jocks in a knot about side effects: they're not compulsory. About nine out of ten people don't experience any side effects to their medication. Get your numbers from your doctor and do some research around the HIV sites. Ask friends who are on treatment. Remember that HIV's little trick is that not only does it lower your immune system, leaving you vulnerable to opportunistic infection like thrush and worse, but it can cause damage to other systems in your body. I've stayed as objective as I can for the above. This is personal opinion: hit the little bastard hard and fast. Right now it's starting its mission of depleting your immune system, causing damage in your gut, skin, brain etc. The sooner you start fighting back the sooner you get it on the run and can start looking at an average life-span again (and healthy eating/lifestyle/exercise will help but it's in the nature of the beast that the human body needs help to live once HIV has taken up residence). The best of luck to you...

What GermanFucker said. You should be aware that "on medication" means simply that: it can take months for the HIV viral load to retreat to undetectable levels and some never attain that goal anyway. There's a theory doing the rounds that the higher than expected number of infections from oral sex are caused by guys not wanting to admit that they get fucked, that sucking cock is easier to admit to. I doubt we'll ever know the true infectivity rate of cocksucking. The presumption has always been that the mouth is a hostile environment for HIV unless there are open wounds or ulcers for it to get into. I'd worry more about the idea fucking with blood. The hepatitis viruses are stronger and therefore more readily transmissable than HIV. I've only had Hep B, and cleared it naturally, though at the time the pain was such that I'd have been quite happy for it to kill me (Think John Hurt in the first Alien movie).

Have you ever been piss-shy? I'm so bad that I keep piss vials at home to fill up before I go to the clinic (all those people in the nurse's office and just a wooden door between us - no, can't do it). Yet it's the same de-sensitisation process as for pissing on someone: "shaddup cunt, you'll get it in a minute." Close eyes and imagine solitude - suddenly you can piss. With a hardon, practice on yourself in the bath/shower. Same procedure, except when you up someone's arse you just tell him to hold very still. It might be only a small trickle at first - don't push yourself too hard. It gets easier fast. If you find that you're too aware of surroundings and so on so that you wouldn't be able to piss normally, leave it a while (his bad luck). As I remember it took me maybe five tries over the course of a couple of weeks to unload an entire bladder-full .

Wish I could afford a flight to Texas...

Try something like "Y'know, if I was at <name gay gym> that would be considered an invitation". Gives him the chance to say that it is an invitation (woohoo), or if it's not an invitation, might just stop him from sending out signals he doesn't intend.

And I thought I was easy

Damn! More money spent out...

Imperfect strangers are much more fun - they frequently need erm... correction

I dunno... one of the best fucks I ever had wasn't a fuck at all, "just" 69 rimming ending up with each of us spontaneously cumming over the other's chest.

My ex was doing that. I found out and booted him out while he crawled round to his girlfriend's, told his tale of woe and got told "Good for him. Get out.")

Some of my first experiences as top were reversing our positions, whether sucking, fucking or other pervy thing that was too easy for me to get out of, then resuming with me as top, usually saying "this is how you do it"

I frequently get genital thrush as a result of diabetes. Frequently enough that I now take fluconazole as prophylaxis against it. But it can be passed on as an STI, only taking skin to skin contact, though to my knowledge I've not passed it on and if I'm sharing a bed with someone I'll wear shorts to protect him. So does this count as an STI or not? BTW if you do have a tendency to thrush, Citricidal (crushed grapefruit seeds - so yourself a favour and get the tablets) also helps.

A hole is a hole is a hole. It's just that gay men tend to be that bit more accommodating...