bearbandit
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Everything posted by bearbandit
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Before I got the norvir droop (since recovered from!), my husband used to drive me to my boyfriend's house, even once returning when he saw I'd forgotten my pill box. Before that we were involved in a pretty heavy threeway relationship. After the norvir droop, (around 2000) John was a regular on ICU2 channels and I was regularly called to his machine to wave, say hello and generally give permission for the guy to fuck wth my husband. One incident I particularly remember is a day or two after we gave a friend a PA (paid for at a reputable place, in case you were thinking otherwise) as a birthday. He didn't follow instructions and got an infection. We took him to the nearest A & E for treatment and waited a long time. Meanwhile John followed this cute guy into the toilets and was gone for about twenty minutes. When they eventually emerged the cute guy had that particular swagger to his step, so it was "John, let me smell your breath"... Sure enough... I still think it's more amusing than anything to worry about: I know who he loved.
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I'm planning a session with a guy who lives near where I'm moving to. Lots in common, especially as our top/bottom proportion (as far as we can figure it out - he's about 20% top i'm about 80%). Today's email suggested the idea (following on from a previous post) that maybe we could start off with him cumming in my arse before he got down to some serious hole worship. Further details not really needed, except that we'll both at some point end end up with beard rash, he'll have various bruises and a tendency to sit on one buttock. I have to adjust my meds to take viagra, but I think I'll leave the atazanavir in there: it extends the life of half strength viagra to two days, even if you can't cum for the first twelve hours or so (but the smile on his face, even if you think you've worn your off). It's difficult riding a bike through viagra blue so I tend not to take it till I get there. Which makes me a pretty good alarm clock - by that point I can cum pretty much normally, and send him off into the world with a big knowing smirk as my cum dribbles out...
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On the contrary, you are a good fister. I'm out of practice at present, having been fairly expert in the eighties (small hands... I can barely span an octave on a standard piano) Consequently, knowing the damage a bad fister can do, I'm treading a path of caution and only fisting guys who are experienced and letting them guide me as I learn the inside of their arses. Only when I feel confident of his particular anatomy and preferences do I break away from his guidance and start fisting the way I want to: by that point I've mapped his arse, as it were, and can start exploring what does it for me as well as for him. Most important thing for me is to maintain eye contact: at the slightest sign of "no, that's not going to work" I can change direction. My hands are small enough that pre-stretching isn't an issue: with most guys I can get to four fingers up to the knuckle with my thumb folded neatly behind on spit alone. The difficulty is believing that that tiny leap of faith and lube (on both guys' parts) to get past the knuckle, the widest part. I believe, especially for a learner, which is how I'd re-classify myself now, is to avoid over-confidence. If you wanted to learn to ride a motorbike, you'd go to a bike teacher, right? Precisely what I did with my last husband: didn't want him learning all my bad habits (like giving the finger at speed). It ended up with him teaching me a thing or two...
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Do you like Watersports/piss play?
bearbandit replied to Pig Bottom's topic in Watersports Discussion
A good way of learning to piss with a hardon is recycling: all it takes is a few bottles of your favourite brew and willing partner(s). For a beginner, I'd say let the first piss go to waste unless you know he's well hydrated which will dilute the taste. After that, every time someone needs to piss it goes into another's mouth and he drinks. I find I start pissing "interested" and am hard by the time I reach full flow. Not so much danger of getting out of control drunk because you're too busy filling up again on piss. Tried it once at a Leather Pride rally and I don't think either of us drank more than about three pints of beer, but considerably more piss. Got to the point of pissing every ten minutes which is when we decided to call it a day. There being no play space, we wasted it down a urinal, but bore in mind the lessons learned: when your bladder's that full it doesn't matter how hard you are, when you gotta piss you gotta piss. -
Very true, and by the time you add in the guys who are bottom for fucking, but will switch for fisting, or who will gladly suck, but all arses are off limits, or who get more specialised and bottom in flogging, but not torture, want VA, but respect as soon as the scene is over, it's amazing how we manage with such crude descriptors as you list! It's why I keep a few of my own stories that I send out to prospective fucks: I want to know which bits did it for them, which didn't, which character they thought was me and which bit didn't happen in real life. One, at least I know the guy can read ;-) and is capable of putting some thought into a reply, and two, I get an idea of what he's after. Don't ask me to post them here because I foolishly didn't retain copyright on them, but they can be found in Kyle Stone's "Hot Bauds 2" written by beartrap at a long disused address. I tend to have quite old school views in that I won't try something on someone unless I've experienced it where possible (one guy I see I can get my finger into his piss-slit up to the second knuckle - I'm not trying that just yet). I moved into topping guys because I got sick of going home with a really hot-looking top (no sex in bars in those days), getting part way into it and suddenly standing up and saying "FFS, THIS is how you do it." In the end I just found I was enjoying topping more than bottoming. But I've always kept in touch with my need to go bottom - the last time I did so (a few months ago) was fuckin' spectacular - on a par with the (pre-bb) time I made a guy suck me off, wank himself, and pull the titclamps off as he came - Japanese sail clamps: he nearly cried... Quickies are are well and good for you guys in the cities, but when you're travelling the sort of (relative) distances we travel in the (rural) UK, you need at least to have an idea of what's waiting for you. One of those times when it's worth talking honestly beforehand...
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Never believe that what people see on screen is what you see: I met my last husband in the early nineties when the photographer we'd both done work for towards, as I remember, the UK's first safer SM booklet - very controversial at the time as guys were prosecuted as recently as 89 for consensual SM in the UK. The photographer wasn't shy about doing a little matchmaking and on the basis of still, arty, black and white photos had fourteen years together before he died. We weren't in the same photos, obviously, but I'd love to meet the guy I fisted as he lay on my bike again (though without a garage, it might be a little draughty).
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I really don't get this: I usually list myself as versatile - conversation or bar behaviour will decide who's top (usually me) - or versatile top - shit man, you're so hot, I'll leave a bar three paces behind you in front of everyone with each and every one of them knowing who's going to be getting it in the ass. Unless you're a closeted versatile, I see no reason for your dismissal of versatile guys doing precisely what you want them to do. (And for the record you can have my arse anytime.) In the rural areas of the UK things move a little more slowly, maybe with a bit more conversation between initial contact and fucking. Maybe you're a victim of your own success?
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Even if I were size queen of the year, I'd hope to show a little more politeness, thought and grace than the OP... I can only hope we live on different continents.
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What sort of guys did you hookup with before you turned 18?
bearbandit replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
I just wish I'd had the sense! But if I'd had the sense he'd have been a bear in his forties, more muscle than fat, and he'd have got so hard at me calling him Daddy.... -
Yep, MountainMan said it all...
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When I was considerably younger than I now am (think seventies - the decade, not my age) we used to joke that if spit didn't do it, it wasn't love. Ah, shallow youth! That sometimes indirect link between mouth and arse - it's as good a lube as any if you're using rubber for other than kink reasons. One of my great regrets in life is that I can't produce the amount of gob I'd like to: doesn't matter if he's fucking me or I'm fucking him, I still want to gob in face, see it run down his neck, drip onto me if the position's right. Adice for anyone travelling through mid Wales and wants to drop in: fastest way to get me hard and desperate is to open my jeans with your mouth, get my dick well lubed up through my jock with your saliva, then get my dick out and sit on it...
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Reading this site has made me paranoid
bearbandit replied to Inception's topic in General Discussion
To return to the original topic for a moment, I've got small hands. No matter which bar I've been in they've gotten me more sex than my crotch or my arse (you guys don't know what you're missing out on! - but I invite you to find out). I can barely span an octave on a standard piano. I've always considered it simply good manners to keep my nails trimmed and clean(ish) - I have no problems with someone asking me to remove the bike oil from beneath my nails, if it happens to be there. Just wish I could find someone with hands as small as mine - after a while you get tired of topping all the time! I noticed 999 breeders too: this may well get me hate mail, but they struck me as a group trying to rebel as hard as they can. Me, I self-define as a pagan, and amongst people I trust I call myself a hedgewitch (we find the stuff we need for ritual work literally in the hedgerows, more likely we just use household tools). I will declare myself as a pagan, just as I'll appear on TV (which i've dona number of times) as the "guy who's got it". Who knows? 999 breeders might be completely sincere in their purpose... -
RED BULL Energy sex pills: has anyone tried it?
bearbandit replied to hungry_hole's topic in General Discussion
Sound advice there. If you have high blood pressure skip that days dose: I find that if I don't I get the pounding head, blocked sinuses and vision tending towards the blue end of the spectrum (none of which is good when riding a bike home afterwards!) The other thing is to check the dosage: if you're also taking a protease inhibitor, but especially atazanavir, start with 25mg viagra and see how it goes. I weigh about 170 pounds and find that 25mg viagra lasts for two days rather than the four to eight hours as listed on the pack. -
A good bj starts before you've got his underwear off... Get him good and hard through whatever he's wearing - if you're lucky, he'll be wearing a jock so that makes his arse fair game too. When his pre-cum is leaking outside his underwear, then tease out his balls and go to work on them - if you don't have use of your hands you can make use of the side of your forehead to make sure he's staying hard. Pull his dick out from whatever he's wearing (if he helps you know for sure you're on the right track). Tease the head of his dick. Fuck his piss slit with your tongue, chew on his foreskin, add your saliva to his precum. You'll know the moment when to go for it. Frankly I don't think you'll have much choice in the matter once you've got here. From this point onwards, he's going to be showing you exactly how he likes it...
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I've got two "ask me"s on my profile: one is for body hair - it's fine and blond, so you don't really notice it, but someone might just have decided to shave it off anyway. The other, I'm afraid, is drug use: some drugs I'm okay about, some I'm not, so "ask me" is the only reasonable answer for me.
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Why do men revel in the degradation of "others"
bearbandit replied to Inception's topic in General Discussion
While I absolutely agree with rawTOP here, and as a versatile guy, can attest that the power can switch back and forward between those involved, I'd have to say that it only works if both can get it into that headspace. If the bottom accepts and the top goes along with the bottom's acceptance, well, Bingo. Go for it lads! My dick doesn't listen to psychological lectures about what's going on, but it does know what makes me feel good. It can make perfect sense to the romantic type: "uh, I think this is something that belongs next door in the playroom". Or better: "will you two fuck off into the playroom and if I can't sleep I'll be in later" . We worked on the principle that once you crossed the threshhold of the playroom all (dis)belief was suspended. Anything possible, just a matter of having the skils to get it right for the other(s). Sex, even SM sex, is a skill, and doesn't always have to happen the same way round - even the SM side can be jettisoned for a session... Sometime it's cuddly-wuddly sex, sometimes it's "how many toys can we play with?", Sometimes it's picking up a guy who acts somewhere inthe middle of the dynamic... It's very versatile ;-) -
Why do men revel in the degradation of "others"
bearbandit replied to Inception's topic in General Discussion
Sorry, that last post should have read "there someone doing it right now"... Degradation is in the eye of the beholder. One of the most powerful sessions I had last year was one I shouldn't have allowed to happen: he was a good ten years older than his online photos, and lied in other ways, but I was thinking with my lower brain. Had he been a bit more honest and a little more flexible in outlook, ongoing emotional stuff might have happened. Breath control was a big thing for him ("the border between life and death"), and I let him put me out. It was something I'd always been scared of, giving up control as fully as that, especially as a guy who'd known the technique had snuck up on me and put me out as a joke. Despite all my misgivings and the past I let him do it and remember waking up in tears at what he'd given me. He'd exerted pretty much the ultimate control over me, and I'd loved that. Was that degrading? I don't think so... -
Why do men revel in the degradation of "others"
bearbandit replied to Inception's topic in General Discussion
For any sex act you can think of, there's someone doing right now and thinking it's the hottest thing ever, someone else who thinks it's the most revolting thing ever, and another who thinks it's the funniest thing ever. -
There's something about the loss of control when getting the piss fucked out of you, whether it's by fist, dick or dildo, that makes pissing almost like coming...
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Bareback Poz, "bugchasers" and the criminalizatin of poz people
bearbandit replied to pozdanny's topic in LGBT Politics
i used to serosort but learned that neg bugchasers can lie, so i universally disclose, control my own infectiousness as much as possible chemoprophylactically, and disregard anyone's claim of their own status. I've always maintained that the only people who can sure of their serostatus are people who are poz. In the 25 years I've known my status I've met two, perhaps three, disturbed individuals who have falsely claimed seropositivity. Since re-joining the fray (detailed in another post) I've always kept my HIV+ status as part of my profile. Hell, I even give my real age ;-) In private chat one of the first questions I ask is "have you read my profile? All of it?" A lot of chats frequently end at that point: in the UK it's seen as the PwHIV's responsibility to look after the sexual health of the HIV-unknown. I asked in a recent speech at a World Aids Day event "Is there a single HIV-unknown person in this entire country capable of rational thought once they've got their underwear off?" Lots of uncomfortable looking faces - clearly the joke didn't go down well. I think you and I, Tony, are preaching the same message to the same choir, just under different sets of rules (the UK and US legislature). We've had a number of prosecutions for transmission of HIV and even for herpes: I'm waiting for middle class moms to get prosecuted for chicken pox parties... For myself, I want the sex I want, as safely (both medically - I don't need hep C or syph or anything else - and legally) as I can make it. If that means missing out on some hot HIV-unknown guys, then so it. Interesting that you mention the "Typhoid Mary" laws: my first TV appearance as a PwHIV was on a chat/documentary in 1988 about a Swedish proposal to imprison HIV+ people (they even had the island prison chosen already) who refused to adopt safer sex/injecting practices in order to protect the general public. -
Bareback Poz, "bugchasers" and the criminalizatin of poz people
bearbandit replied to pozdanny's topic in LGBT Politics
Tell that to the courts! :-( For me, legal "safety" lies in poz serosorting... -
Bareback Poz, "bugchasers" and the criminalizatin of poz people
bearbandit replied to pozdanny's topic in LGBT Politics
Looking at what's happening in the UK, where a guy got a prison sentence (can't remember if his appeal was successful) for passing on herpes, I joked about the paperwork of consent forms for orgies. While I don't rule out the possibility of sex with HIV-unknowns, there's no way I'm fucking them unless I know them very well and trust them. Otherwise he/they must be positive... -
Ach, I've already written about him tonight (the piss-recycling story) so I ight as well "name" him. I was over at Steve's house one night, doing our usual. He had a little week, which I'm not keen on, I stuck to my beers. When we reckoned that dinner was digested, the porn was getting repetitive, it was definitely time to head of for his playroom/bedroom. I've got a trick bladder: I can literally spend all evening in a bar and never go piss once. Anyway, we're both a little out of it, but getting there. Although I haven't seen Steve in something like fifteen years I can still see his dick - seven and a half inches, moderately thick,with a lean to the left. I decided to be nice to him: he liked to lie on his back and have me sit on his dick and bring us both off. I've always liked face to face fucking because I love to see what effect my dick or arse is having on him... This time, each time I took the full length of his dick in me I spurted a wee drop of piss over him. He caught on prestty fast and rolled me onto my my back so he was on top and started fucking me hard: each time he got right in I involuntarily pissed. Some of it I caught in my mouth, the rest just soaked the pair of us. The final thrusts of him coming emptied my bladder. He pulled out and I used a mixture of my own piss and his cum as lube to bring myself off...
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The age-old dilemma - drink or bathe... If I'm topping, I like to piss faster than he can swallow and have him dribble my piss down himself, if I'm bottom I like to get some of it in my beard and 'tache, and maybe on whatever clothes I might be wearing. But my favourite has to be recycling... In the nineties I went to a Leather Pride march with a guy my then partner and I were both fucking around with. After the march, we hit the bar (this was maybe three in the afternoon). We were both drinking Newcastle Brown Ale, which comes in 550ml bottles, and the rules were that we stuck together and neither of us would piss anywhere but the other's mouth. We got through four bottles each that afternoon and were so well hydrated that we got down to ten minute intervals between pissing. The really strange thing was this cultural imperative to find the nearest toilet for one of us to feed the other: dark corners etc weren't enough... He liked having me grab his head and pull him to me so I was all but pissing straight into his throat, while I liked to savour the full length of his dick, challenging him to stay soft while I drank (I'd already got it figured out how to piss with a hard-on, he hadn't). Whichever way we did it it got lots of disapproving looks from the assembled perverts: at the tie you didn't accept any transfer of body fluids and piss, well, it's just not nice, which is part of the fun. We stopped off at a Macdonald's on the way home, not out of hunger, but to get rid of the huge load we were both carrying. And even when we got back home and had that final goodnight fuck with my partner (he'd been at work all day) we were both still dribbling beery piss from our arses. (If it can't get out one way, it'll find another). Love to live that day again...
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Yes, I've taken about two thirds of the drugs that are/were available. I forget how many, but I've taken sufficient that it's going to be very difficult choosing another combination should I need to change.
