fuckboy20

I've heard the term before. I also know some men who call themselves a power top. Not many though. I used to go to a guy's place who was a construction worker. He'd fuck me in his trailer and he was a big guy. Stocky big not fat. But he pressed ALL his weight down on me and fucked me ruthlessly. He called himself a power top. I'm not sure if a power top is really the same as a dominant top at all. Not all Doms are about "power" some like "control" or to "control. I don't think power top has a negative meaning like power bottom. And that probably is because anything with the word top in it. "Bastard Top", "Selfish Top", "Fast Top", or something like "Rough Top" can't really mean anything bad. At least to some. Not really knowing the meaning of it, that construction worker who fucked me was definitely a power top. He wasn't into dominating he just likes to fuck with power I guess. Power being his stocky weight, muscles, and his large body frame.

I have a fuck buddy of mine who fucks me raw but he's HIV negative. But he tells me sometimes he takes raw cock. I asked him if he takes neg or poz. He told me neg guys. You probably know where I'm going with this. I recommended he goes on PREP. He told me he was a little scared about asking his doctor for it so I gave him some advice. He believes that his insurance will cover it and I told him to tell them he's in contact with a poz guy. Hard for them to argue with. I've randomly mentioned prep on sites like BBRT or adam4adam too if a bottom talks to me and wants me to poz them. I just recommend that they at least look into PREP and consider it so they can stay neg and bb all they want, if they choose too. I actually knew two guys online before who desperately wanted to get pozed. I spoke to them recently and they are both on PREP now. Another common thing I tell people is that, "Hey, if it was around when I was slutting I would have taken it."

My record is 13 loads in a few hours at night. But 7 of them were from one top and I pushed the loads out. My ass was literally overflowing. But I played with a trucker a few years back and he bred me about 6 times in his rig and my ass literally couldn't hold any more cum. Didn't stop me from wanting to get fucked by him though. A lot of it depends on the guy and how big his load is. If you count pushing a load out in between I'm sure more could be taken. I would love to beat a guy's record I know of 50 loads at cumunion. Don't care if the loads flood out of my ass, if I piss, or cum too or whatever. Would be hot as fuck to try it.

Eh I don't quite agree with the article. In all honesty I thought that a power bottom meant a pushy bottom. I've known pushy bottoms that basically demand they get fucked or they'll raise hell. I don't like that. I don't like bottoms that believe they deserve and need to get fucked. Hell I met a leather top when I was younger who would literally shove his dick raw and dry into bossy, arrogant, bottoms until they bled or just threw them out. I disagree with the part about how a power bottom should be assertive and approach the top and not wait to be approached. I don't believe there is any dishonor or negativity in a bottom or submissive waiting to be approached. A funny contradiction too is that the one who did the article mentions "a power bottom isn't as submissive". That's putting it in a way that being submissive is a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with being submissive. Just like there is nothing wrong with being versatile. A bottom or person who can be calm, patient, and respectful and not gloat about it or need to. Those are the ones that get noticed. I'm sorry but really the one who wrote the article sounds like an egotistical, arrogant, and vocal queen. But then again that's just my opinion. I was taught...raised sexually to be more patient, obedient, and observant. And then the other natural qualities I have too. I'm not the best bottom. I'm not the best top. There are some days I have off where bottoming doesn't feel good for me or just can't into topping. But I do respect the hell out of tops and bottoms that don't have to advertise what they are or how good they are and show it by their own characteristics and skills. Those are the men I want to have fun with and learn from too. Honestly, it's articles like this that really make me dislike the gay community as a whole. Because unfortunately, it's kind of a representation of it. Fortunately, it's just one guy's opinion.

I agree with rawtop. If you can't find a guy or top to do it safely for you then just whore your ass out at a bath house. Face down, ass in the air, and poppers nearby. Or hell if you get the chance to go to a cumunion go to those or any black out parties if ya got them. Never really been gangbanged in a hotel or a party type situation. But done it enough in public to make up for it . Also, if you do it in public a top who likes to whore out boys or guys might take notice and interest. They're out there trust me. But you also have to sort of catch their interest. Anyone can put up an online ad or say stuff online. But taking any loads at a bath house is a good start to letting quality ringleader tops know you're serious. I say go with a bath house or bookstore a little bit safer since it's in public.

I can definitely agree with not slamming in. When I was 18 or 19 I was in a sex club and a really hot daddy bear just slammed his cock in me. This was back when I used condoms but it hurt like hell. He got turned of from me screaming (thankfully) He explained to me that a lot of guys in the sex club are loose and he loves fucking loose holes. And I get that, lots of tops like that. But I'll admit when I was first topping I was pretty rough and untamed. But I never just slammed my cock in someone's hole. The friction from that would probably rip the skin off my dick too. Ouch. Dick got raw as it was when I just fucked with my spit. I've found that being uncut, dick reacts more to slow deep thrusts anyways. I also know from experience of bottoming that if I can relax and take the cock (whether slow or even a little faster at first) I have complete control over my ass muscles and can really work the top's cock with my hole. But there have been times where the guy didn't quite slam me but came pretty close and it basically just renders my ass muscles null and the top can pound away. And I'm sure some tops like that. But I don't like to just fuck a hole. I like to fuck the man and I enjoy it more when the guy I'm fucking responds by backing up or moving his ass. It's hot as fuck. Although I do understand that if a bottom puts themselves in a situation like getting in a sling and securing themselves, bending over in a dark room that they are really at the mercy of the unknown and uncertainty of whatever situation happens. It's a risk taken just like barebacking.

First off, you need to ask yourself "What type of top?". But before that you need to ask yourself, "What kind of man". I can't tell if you're looking more for just a top to use you for sex and that be it or also a relationship. But you should be clear about that when looking. There are different types of tops. I don't quite fully understand them myself but some I do. There are some tops that want what I'd call a "trophy boy" to show off, let their friends and people know they own the boy, and to either use or just keep the boy on display. Some tops want a boy to whore out and let anyone and everyone use the boy. Some tops just want to wreck a boy too and completely degrade and dehumanize "it". And of course, there are Sir's, Tops's, Owners, who just want a boy to be with and be the daddy type with their boy in and out of bed. Of course, there are different variations on this and much more types of top, this was just an example. So you need to ask yourself what you're looking for in a top. And even with sex too. Do you want a top to ease into sex and you two take it slowly? Do you want a top that likes foreplay and contact such as kissing, touching, and etc. Or do you want a top that just fucks you dry (maybe spit) and fucks and breeds ya and then done with you unless they feel like fucking some more. I don't believe that "every" top has a craving for a boy. I think a lot of tops like to have a regular boy they see every now and then but not the only boy they see. Some tops want a boy that's on call that they can call up anytime to blow them, or take their cock, or to just use the boy. I won't get into the whole slave vs. boy thing either. Every top is looking for something different. You have to figure out what the top is looking for. Where do boys go to find daddies is easy. Bars, sex clubs, public places, or of course online. A little further advice. Just be yourself. I used to try to limit or repress so many urges like going out to sex clubs and blowing guys in public or bending over. But a few weekends ago I went to a bar, well dance bar. And the back room area. I saw lots of guys just standing around some with their dicks out, and some just cruising. I know my place, and I know who and what I am. I just bent over the pool table and let guys either play with my hole or fuck me. Granted, wasn't the most friendly of bb places. A top did notice me at the end and he fucked me over the pool table, in the stall, and outside of the club. I'm a bareback slut that likes to give and take. I love being submissive and if I'm with a hot daddy (not Sir..well depending on the type of Sir), I'll rub the guy's hole and usually end up putting my raw cock inside the man. Love flip flopping with a hot daddy. To further elaborate on the be yourself part don't try to change something about yourself for a top or dominant. It probably won't have the best outcome and some tops can be really sharp about knowing when someone is genuine or not. Although, you'll find many tops really like eager boys that want to please them. But if you really want a top that's right for you, just do what you normally do or what you "want to do" and tops will take notice and more than likely the right top for you will. I don't quite buy into the whole "I need a relationship now" thing. I've done that before, I've had my experiences. And actually in hindsight, I had a pretty good top teach me some things a few months ago without really telling me. I just kinda caught on. Just go out and have fun. Bend over take loads if you want. Let men use you as a cumdump, or if a man happens to want to use you in private and you see him regular then take that as an honor. One more thing I want you to ask yourself too is are you really wanting a daddy/boy relationship. Or are you wanting a daddy/boy sex partner or situation? Best of luck boy.

Forgot to post this a while back but last friday took two loads from two guys. One was my normal fuck bud older daddy. He had a cute black boy over. He looked my age but was a little older surprisingly. He fucked the guy and bred him twice while I was taking a shower. When I got out he fucked and bred me too and so did his friend. I fucked his friend too, didn't breed him though. A few nights ago I went to a bar and it was a wild night going on. One guy bent me over the pool table and fucked me and bred me. Another guy in another room bent me over and pounded my ass for a while and then bred me. I went to flex and a neg guy bred me twice. He fucked me quite a bit too. I had a guy over two nights ago and he bred me twice. Hot poz firemen daddy. I had fun. We just used spit and I used some poppers. I rode him and he flipped me on my belly and fucked me hard. His two loads were dripping out of my ass and onto my balls. He took pictures . Tonight I went to a fuck bud's house. He fucked me really wild one time. Over the balcony twice, in bed a few times, and in the middle of the night took my hole and I took it. He fucked me a little this time but not as much. I was hard, not fucking in a few days. I fucked him and bred him. I stayed inside his hole, slowly pumping him and feeling my dick get hard. Then I fucked him rough again and shot another load in him. Would have maybe had another load tonight, but unfortunately ran into someone who led me on. I went to a bar and sucked a little cock tonight. Swallowed the man's load, would have liked it up my ass though.

It's been a while since I've done some writing lately. I decided that this would go best here. So, last weekend I went to Alabama to see a client. I left on Saturday afternoon and arrived close to midnight. I arrived early so I showered and prepped myself for the client who was at dinner. When I was just finishing up my shower I heard him enter the house. I greeted him naked and we made out a bit. We went to the bedroom and he turned on his bareback porn and I got into bed with him. We kissed, I played with his cock and balls, and sucked him as well. I love it when I'm sucking him and he asks, "You wanna be daddy's boy. You wanna take daddys cock up your ass?" I hear that ringing in my ear sometimes. I know what to do after I respond. I got on all fours, lubed up my hole and spread my ass for him. He loves that. I felt his big cock push forward into my hole. I'm always so horned up for him especially after driving for so damn long, passing truck stops, truckers, or just stroking myself when I drive sometimes. I opened up with no problem and felt him sink into me. He pounded me from the start as normal. I love being fucked doggy style on all fours. It never takes long, but I love to tighten and relax my ass while he fucks me. He came inside me in no time and as usual pissed in me too. I went to the toilet to let his piss out and went back into bed with him. We kissed and fooled around a little more and slept. When I woke up the next morning he fucked me again and pissed in me and took me to breakfast. When we got back he had some errands to run so I was left by myself. I prepped myself while I had some time to ensure I'd be ready for him. I also tried to find some guys to invite over for him to fuck or for me to fuck. Someone did want to fuck me and have me go over to their place, bend over, take his load and then leave but he got too busy with work. When he returned we went to dinner and he also had to go to the hardware store and get something. After dinner when we came back he fucked me again and pissed in me. Beautiful combination. He fucked me again after he pissed in me and bred me with the piss mixed with the previous load. I love that feeling. We slept together again that night. The next morning I had coffee and cleaned up quickly because he had to go to work. We didn't have time for sex in the morning unfortunately. He thanked me for coming and told me he really enjoyed having me over. I thanked him as well and let him get on with his day and left. But that wasn't the end of my trip. Normally it is. After leaving I had a guy from bbrt who wanted to hook up with me. I wanted to hook up with him too. We tried last time I was in AL, but I didn't have enough time and it didn't work out. This time, I was going to change that. He gave me his address and I headed his way. He wasn't that far from my client. I missed his address the first time and the second time he was out in the driveway so I wouldn't miss him again. Fucking jackpot was what I thought when I saw him. He was a fucking bear of a man, and I loved the grin he was giving me. I parked and we went inside. He immedietely took me to his bedroom. I was a bit nervous but he grabbed me and started kissing me. And he was a damn good kisser. We both made out and pawed each other back and forth until we were both undressed. He took me into his bed and we rolled back and forth on the bed making out and exploring each other. I felt his cock and damn it was pretty fucking thick. I immedietely went to suck it and it felt so good in my mouth. I felt his hand at the back of my head and felt him push me farther on his dick. I loved the face fucking he gave me. We went back to making out until he told me he wanted to fuck me. I lubed up my hole and he lubed up his dick. His cock felt so fucking big when it entered me. I know I was just fucked the last few days but still. But I was able to relax completely and take it. He thrusted me a few times and pulled out. He told me he didn't want to cum to quickly. This went back and forth for a while, making out and him pumping me a bit and pulling out. Finally I knew he needed release. I was on my side and he pushed inside. He was intense when it came to fucking. I felt not only his big thick raw dick in me but he was pushing and using his weight and strength as well. It felt so fucking good. I was in sensory overload and didn't quite tighten and relax my hole like I normally do. I just wanted him to keep fucking me. He fucked me like mad until finally I could tell that he really wanted to breed me. I tightened my hole around his cock and felt his load fill me up and heard him yell and growl as well. Even after I got bred I continued to tighten my hole, milking every last drop from his cock. We collapsed afterwards and we cuddled a bit and made out some more. We both got horny again and he fucked me and bred me again. We chatted some and I learned more about him and I shared some of my details with him. After talking for a while my dick was hard and rubbing against his leg. I felt him getting hard again too. This time he put me on my belly and felt his fat dick go inside my cummy hole. This time he was much more verbal calling me his boy, property, and that really sent me into overdrive. I was using my hole muscles on him the entire time he was fucking me. I've realized that I don't do that for everyone. Again he was using his weight and strength to power fuck me and not only did I take it but I loved it and craved it. And he shot another load into my leaking cum hole. We rested again after and yet again we both got horny again. This time I sat on his dick and rode him. He jacked me off while I was riding his dick and he bred me yet again. I can always get a guy off when I'm riding them I've learned . I was so fucking horny, I played with his hole a little and rubbed his ass. I was able to get a finger in them. I spoke very softly telling him I wanted to fuck him. I know from us talking that he doesn't bottom and hasn't in years. I grabbed some lube and lubed up his hole and lubed my cock. I didn't know if he was clean or not, I just wanted to fuck and breed. He was tight, and damn did it feel good. I eased in letting him get used to it and I could tell he was loving it. It didn't take long until I was fully inside him and fucking him. I fucked him on his belly slamming my dick in and out of him. I love fucking like that. I humped his ass after long dicking him until I groaned out and felt my load drain into his hole. I thrusted a few times after to milk the rest of my load out. It felt fucking incredible and he was clean back there (fortunately). We talked some more after and I could tell he was still horny. I rode his dick again and he shot another load into me. I fucked him again too but this time he couldn't take too much more so I bred him faster. We went back to making out but he told me he had work to do today and that if we keep going on we'll still be here hours from now. And he was probably right. When I was bending over to get into the shower I felt his cock rub against my hole and push inside. He pulled out quickly though telling me he can't start that again. He also told me he usually just fucks and breeds once and that's it. He says that for him to go back and forth like he did with me is very rare. It sucked that we both had to end it, but we both had things to do and places to go. We made out a bit more and said our goodbyes knowing we'd see each other again. And I drove back down the road with his loads up my ass. I stopped to get lunch since we were fucking for maybe 6 hours or so. Didn't realize we were going at it for that long. After lunch I called up my friend who lived more in the southern part of Alabama. He was happy I wanted to get together. A bit of a long drive but I made it to him. It was fucking hot greeting him in the doorway he groped me, slapped me, squeezed my balls, and fingered my ass when I was barely in the door. He also had me down on my knees sucking his cock which was rock fucking hard. I knew I was going to have fun. We went to the bedroom where he did more of his sadist type stuff on me. He shoved his fingers down my throat and covered my mouth and nose, wrapped his hand around my throat a few times, and slapped me hard on the face as well. Spitting on me was normal too. I fucking love the rough treatment and he doesn't seem to hold anything back and nothing seems forced or faked. I sucked his cock and got it nice and hard too. He fucked me for a little bit and held my hands behind my back while he fucked me too. But he pulled out after a little while. They were very small motions and hints but I had a feeling that he wanted to be dominated. I did it last time, so I know he likes it. So I turned the tables on him. I flipped him over on his back, spit in his face, punched his chest, slapped his nipples, grabed and squeezed his nipples, bit them, covered his mouth, and other creative things. Once I was really into it I was fucking hard. I flipped him over on his belly and lubed up his hole. I told him I'm going to fuck him and breed him and he's going to have to take it. I saw him grab the poppers and popper himself up. Like last time he kinda bucked when I was fucking him. I learned later why. But it angered me a little and I got even more rough with him when he moved around trying to shake me off. I grabbed his arms and pushed him down securing him so I couldn't move. I loved fucking him and it diddn't take me too long to bred him. I fucked him again and gave him another load. He told me after that he struggles because he hopes it will frustrate me and make me more agressive. Well, it definitely works thats for sure. He made me dinner which was delicious and we fooled around in between. I was a bit tired from the drive and fucking earlier though. He also had a busy day so we turned in early and went to bed. The next morning we both had some coffee and I fucked him again in the morning. He hinted the night before that he wanted to be flogged. Not something I have experience with, although I've had it done to me. I figured, what the hell might as well try. I put him on his belly and got out the flogger and felt his body first and rubbed it. Slapped parts of his body with my hands first. Then I let the flogger just run over his back and his ass too. I started light at first, even though I knew he could take more. After feeling a little more comfortable I flogged him a little harder on his back. I liked his reaction and loved the effect that was made. The skin rippled a little when he got flogged. I liked seeing that for some reason. Eventually I really got into it and my dick got rock hard while I was flogged him. When my dick was hard I put the flogger to the side and shoved my dick in him. I didn't give him any warning. His ass felt great and I wanted to fuck. I saw him reach for the poppers and start to take them. I know how he wanted to be treated and I know how he thinks, because I think like him and still have a submissive nature too. He thrashed around as usual but I held his hands back and relished in fucking and owning his ass. It took me a bit longer this time but I also enjoyed fucking him too much. I finally bred him and flogged him a little while I was breeding him. After that I wanted him to come. He was kinda humping me a bit in the morning and the night before. I was tired last night to figure it out but this morning I did. If I'm ever to go by the name "Sir" I know what it's like for a Sir to ignore his boys needs and for the boy to either get used or not get used and not be allowed to jack off. I don't believe in that, nor do I believe in withholding certain things from a boy. I took out some of his toys and used some dildos on him while he jacked off. I also played with his nippels and made out with him too while he came. After he came he much different. Less aggressive about wanting to get fucked or needing sex. Something I'll remember. He was more docile is a good way to put it. Afterwards we cuddled a bit and made out and took a mini nap. I was proud of him for taking so much and it made me feel a lot more affection towards him. He even cleaned out his hole in the morning for me. I cleaned out mine too so he could rim me because he wanted too and I like being rimmed too. After our nap I told him I have to get going soon. He talked about wanting to give me a haircut and he apparently meant it. I went over to his barbershop at the next building over. He gave me a combination of a flat top and a small mohwak. It's up to me how I want to style it but it's incredible. He was extremely proud of it and I loved it. I also wore his shirt so we has happy to get that back. He likes my scent a lot. He gave me a little gas money too since he knows I travel quite a bit to see him. And he wants to do it. We said our goodbyes and even though I really didn't want to leave and neither did he, I knew I had to. I also decided I was going to head back home because I missed it surprisingly. I definitely called him boy a few times during sex since he took the role of a submissive, and a masochist at that. But I don't call him that outside of sex. He still is very much a daddy and has a daddy appearance. But for the time being at least during sex, he'll definitely be my boy. I have no problem assuming the role of Sir during sex with that man. It feels very natural. It was more driving but I drove to birmingham this time. I stopped by at a bar to have a drink and then I headed to bluff creek falls. The gay campground in Alabama. I lost reception getting close and when I got to the gate I had to wait until an employee helped me in. I was given the tour of the campground and very much got the vibe that sex goes on. The staff was really nice and some of the guys there were nice too. A leather top and his boy talked with me a little as we showered. I could tell his boy definitely took a shine to me I saw him staring at me most of the time I was in the shower. They both liked the shorts I wore too. But they left for the day since i came late and so did most of the other guys. But I came for a reason. After exploring the campground and finding the sling area and plotting and marking locations in my head I found the guy I came to hook up with. I took a shower from walking around so much and went to see him. He was much fucking hotter then his picture online. He was taller too. He sucked me, I sucked him, and we made out a bit too. For some reason I felt very submissive to him as well and I was mostly on my knees sucking him. I even got down on the floor and licked and sucked on his feet, he seemed to like it. He didn't get into fucking because of his ex so we didn't fuck or anything but we had fun sucking each other and making out. We also talked quite a bit and I learned a lot about him. He also gave me a lot of advice and encouragment which I was lacking lately and really needing. It helped a lot, I feel he gave me a lot of direction and motivation. He was kind and sweet too. I decided not to stay overnight and just head home. I got a bit lost getting out because of no reception but I finally got on the highway to CN and then to head home. I stopped at a bar in Chatanooga to have a drink. Tried to hook up with a poz top nearby but he couldn't host. A shame, the guy was hot as hell too and my kind of top. But after Chatanooga I stopped a truck stop. I did cruise a trucker a little and he cruised me. But nothing happened. On one final rest stop there were no bathrooms. A hot fucking cowboy looking trucker with a cowboy hat caught my eye. We were both looking for a restroom and realized there was none. We talked very briefly but I saw him look at me. I figured he may have been bi or something, but neither of us had the guts to make it lead anywhere. I was a bit tired anyways. I finally made it home after that and jacked off a few times thinking about everything that happened. A weekend and part of a week of getting fucked, having piss up my ass, and getting fucked some more and even fucking. It was a good trip and one that I needed. I saw some friends and made some new ones. And there were some guys I couldn't get together with in Alabama who I will get together with next time. And visiting more bars will be a goal too. And when I got back I have a few guys in Chatanooga who want to get with me now. That's not too much of a drive so I might do that sometime. I was hoping to be a bit more of a cumdump but I did get quite a few loads up my ass from two guys and I got to fuck some guys too. So all in all a good trip, and next time there will be more sex. Hopefully anonymous sex too!

Fuck. A few nights ago had a neg top breed me. He humped the hell out of my ass and I was also close to virgin tight. Hole tightened up recently for some reason, it was hard to open up for him. He hadn't fucked in a while too so I got a giant load. And last night. Well damn. A leather top brings me into his place and his playroom. Barely there I'm stripped naked and taking his raw cock up me and he pisses up my hole. I go to the toilet to release the piss and while I'm releasing it his cock's right in front of me so I suck him while I'm pissing out my ass. He chokes me a little, slaps me, and throws me around like a rag doll. Then he secures my wrists (wasn't too thrilled with that) and fucks me and I have no choice but to take it. He untied me and pissed on my back, ass, crotch, and I was even pissing everywhere. He fucked me again and pissed up my ass. He really got me in a strong hold too and I nearly fell out while his hands where around my throat. I fall over and he shoves his raw dick in me and takes my ass. He breds me finally. I couldn't believe how much I took from him even though I was a bit scared. Haven't done a leather situation in..almost years. If I wasn't as scared we probably would have done more. But I also was pretty tight too. Today after working my ass off all day I finally got a chance to play. Top I haven't seen in a while was more than happy to see me. He likes me to have loads up my ass before I see him. He had a fucking syringe of two viles of his poz cum. I bent over and he shoved both syringes of his poz cum up my ass. It was a little cold but it felt fucking hot being filled up like that. New experience definitely. Once I had his two giant loads inserted in me he put me on the bed and shoved his fat raw dick in me. Took a while to adjust but I took it. He bred me 5 times consecutively and I came too. I probably could have done more but i was pretty beat from work. But those cum injections were incredible. I had so much cum in my ass after he was done and my hole isn't as tight anymore

Since i was 18 I've always been a bit of a slut. But I was more of the selective slut back then and used condoms. First barebacking I was selective for a while because of fear but as I progressed I realized it didn't matter. But even then, I didn't really whore out. Nah, just a few loads up my butt everyday. Becoming poz, I even had less sex. But I'm starting to realize more and more about myself. I went to a club on saturday night. My goal was to dance, drink, have fun, and maybe hook up with a guy. So if that's the case why do I go to the dark room first. Barely being there for a few minutes I decide to bend over the pull table. In even less time I pull down my pants and reveal my ass in my jockstrap. Who the hell was this person? Was this really me? What happened to dancing and having fun? What happened to not being so slutty and being more selective? What happened to saving yourself? I'll retract a little before I get to this point. I talk with my exes sometimes. I'm not sure why or how but after talking with one of them last week something just clicked in me. Yeah I still love them, miss them, wish it would work out. But for some reason I just let the idea of me being in another relationship, me waiting for someone, me saving myself, me being reserved, me being a total subservient boy to a bastard top, or being walked all over. I just let it go. *don't sue*. After my client that night I went to a club and got pretty damn drunk and then I went to a sex club and got 7 loads. I got in an orgy and a guy raped my hole while I was fucking another guy. It was fucking hot. One guy pulled me into a room and after fucking me I thanked him and he said he wasn't done with me and pinned me against the wall and bred me again. Maybe after that black guy raped me, I kinda like that now. And then to end it all I just went into the dark room, bent over, and let whoever fuck me. I didn't care. And when I went to cumunion I got in a sling and let anyone fuck me and just took it. I didn't feel lowered, desperate, I just did it. Back to where I left off. "Is this who I really am?", I asked myself while I was spreading my cheeks and backing my ass up on guys who walked by. A few guys felt me up. One guy kissed me. And a very hot daddy commented on my hole and asked if I had any loads. He chuckled when I told him I didn't and he fingered my hole roughly. He told me that he'll be back once I have some loads. One guy fucked me but with a condom. I sucked a few guys but all of them asked for a condom. But that's where I was most of the night just against the pull table and sometimes mostly bent over. No one made me do it. The alcohol didn't really make me either. It wasn't the poppers it was me. I wanted to be fucked by anyone I don't care who the guy is, how old, dick size, just wanted cock in me. This is something. Like a fear I've been trying to avoid and fight for so long. Giving into becoming a complete cumdump and slut. I figured I'd be at truckstops, sold off somewhere, or just completely destroyed mentally and physically if I gave into this. But I don't feel. I just did it. And I'll do it again. If I'm in a place where I know sex is possible especially raw sex I'll bend over and let anyone fuck me. Hell if I see a guy look at me with desire I'll offer him my ass or mouth. I just want to be used and love being used. I did try to dance for a ltitle just a break from the room. Had a little fun and when i went back to the room some guy comes over and said he watched me most of the night. He fucks me raw in that room, in the bathroom, and outside and then he breeds me. There's no mention of condoms or status. Hell he didn't even tell me his name. I was just a hole and mouth for him and I loved it. I thought that I'd feel sad or depressed if I let myself give into my inner slut. And I don't. I don't really feel empowered either, just slightly less horny and satisfied each and every time. The only drawback to this is I'm becoming more of a bottom. I tried getting with a guy recently and couldn't really get it up to fuck him. I liked fucking before but that came from some power, strength, and drive. Right now...I guess I just want to submit. But I'll make no more excuses or hide from the fact that I've only discovered a small portion of how much of a slut and cumdump I really am and how subservient I am. I honestly, can't wait to see where this takes me.

I'm still on the fence about it some days. Some days I'm like, "Fuck yeah I'm poz. I don't have to take shit from anyone and I can have all the raw sex I want and I'll do whatever because shortened life span and such." And other days I just feel kinda meh and wonder if things would be any different if I was neg. It's probably more of not realling having "positive" friends or guys I know. Most guys I know are neg some are poz. I'd like it more if there was a poz community. If you're able to go out and slut around and be a cumdump then yeah being poz is hella fun. Even better at a cumunion, although there really status doesn't matter to anyone. It's what I love the most about it. Some of the annoying things about being poz are places like clubs or bath houses where guys like to have dark room sex but stress a condom, make you wear a condom, or wear one themselves. They want to have anonymous or unknown sex in seedy places but the condom makes it okay. Could be sort of spoiled from cumunion where bending over, wearing a jockstrap, or hell just standing gets a raw cock in ya and not always a load but a good fuck. Or any ass that's open or bottom in a sling is free game and a nice hole to breed. It's not like that everywhere unfortunately. And some have mentioned this but the bar thing is really a bitch. I get turned down quite a bit when I tell guys I'm poz. Honestly, it seems the only time guys are really okay with me being poz is when they're fucking me in a dark room raw or at a bar and no mention of status I'm just a hole to them and I have no qualms with that. I can honestly say, I wouldn't recommend anyone becoming poz (despite popular vote and fantasy) but for those who are poz or become poz there are some things that make it okay. But I believe everyone who becomes poz finds something a little extra that they didn't have when they were neg. I might not be living the best right now but I am kinda living free, travelling sometimes, and having fun sexual encounters when I have them. For those who are poz, just live.

Earlier this week I took 4 loads from guys in a dark room at a club. Was hot. But last night trumps all. A guy tried to fuck me in a bar but the bar was closing. He tried fucking in the stall and I had to take it. Then he took me outside the bar and fucked me against the building. It was so hot, he fucked me brutally and bred me. I got together with another bud of mine too, neither of us could host. We didn't really have the money for a sex club either. We went behind a loading dock and he fucked me against the wall. We both took a hit of poppers and he fucked me good and filled me up. I need to do more outdoor sex.

Oh what a wild adventure it's been. Let's start from the beginning. Went to Alabama on Saturday to see an old client of mine. Bit of a drive but worth the trek. He was looking at even hotter than before, not sure what gave me that impression. But it was great to see him again. Lots of making out, me blowing him, and immedietely he took me to the bedroom. He fucked me 3 times and pissed in my ass a few times. I missed that so much, gettings fucked with piss up my ass and another load being added. We did some other stuff too and went out for drinks. He fucked me again at night. In the morning he fucked and bred me two more times and pissed in me before I left. I was going to head back home but I got a message from a fucking hot bear on recon. He wanted me to come over and he was a few towns away. He offered to help with gas so I figured, "Why not?". It was worth it. An extremely sexy older daddy bear was waiting in the driveway when I got there. True to his bear nature, he grabbed me took me in the house, and immeditely started pawing my chest, butt, crotch, and every part of me. Licking my ears, biting my neck, and of course lots of fucking hot making out. He was extremely agressive, which I fucking love. After a foreplay break we had some coffee. He likes coffee a lot. Couldn't ask for a better package deal. When we got into the bedroom we were both rolling on the bed and he had me pinned exploring my body and licking and sucking my pits. He really loved my pits, I never wear deodarant so it's nice when a guy appreciates it. He flipped me over and forced my head down on his cock. His cock was fucking huge, seriously beer can thick size. I loved working his balls and cock. Then something odd happened. He got submissive and obedient for a minute. He was waiting. I didn't dissapoint. I shoved my hard cock down his throat, and he fucking sucked it. He was good at sucking dick. I played with his hole while I was fucking my face. I asked him, "What do you want?". He told me. "What do you want?". I knew what he was getting at. I flipped him over and spit on my cock and his hole and shoved it in. He grunted and started flailing around on the bed. I paused for a minute, concerned that I put too much in. He said, "FUCK ME..JUST FUCK ME!". I've never had a guy do this before but he was flailing and moving around every minute I was fucking him. And damn his ass felt incredible. I pinned him down and bit into his neck. He didn't compeltely submit but I needed to cum bad so I bred him while I had him pinned down. We made out a bit after that and he thanked me. I was a little shocked saying that he was so rough and agressive earlier. He told me he's versatile and it all depends on the guy and chemistry. We made out a little bit more and he also brought out some of my pup side so I gave him pup kisses. We fell asleep in each other's arms and woke up a bit later. He was on top of me and I was licking his hand. He was caressing my ass and rubbing my head. I bite his hand pretty hard and agressively shook it. He slapped my face pretty hard and my ass. I'm not sure what brought it out in us but we did a bit of power play. I was biting him and defying him, and he covered my mouth, shoved his fingers down my mouth, and even grabbed my neck pretty hard. Before I knew it he grabbed my arms, tied me up, and blindfolded me. He gave me a hit of that spray shit. Forgot what it's called. Oh Maximum Impact. And he fucked me, just shoved it in and made me take all of it. I took such a hit of maximum impact that I was flying. I just felt his cock sliding in and out of me and him swearing at me and taking me. It wasn't too long before I heard him growl, grunt, and groan and felt him breeding me. He untied me and took off the blindfold and he went back to the passionate sweet daddy. He made sure I was okay, which I was. I sucked his cock and cleaned it for him. I sucked him again too. We were hungry after that so he made dinner and a smoothie. We went back into bed and went back to lots of making out, pup affection from me, and lots of body contact and cuddling. He asked me to stay the night. Of course I couldn't turn him down. We played a litle more that night and in the morning. It was hard saying goodbye to him since he was such a sweet guy but I'll see him again. Driving back to Atlanta I had a little free time before I had to go to work. I got together with a guy whom I haven't played wtih in a while. He had me on my back and he shot 6 loads up my ass. I kept working my ass muscles and matching his thrusts and vice gripping his daddy dick. The last two loads he shot up me because I came twice myself jacking off with him in me. After that I went to work and worked for a few hours and the headed home. After hanging out with my roomate I recieved a text from ol faithful. That leather top whom I had feelings for and who bypassed me at cumunion the other week and didn't want "me" to forget him. Or how did he phrase it. Argh, forgot how he phrased it but he was arrogant. I just texted with him idly not hinting anything for sex. He asked me if I could come over, although late, I decided to. I didn't rush getting ready or getting over there. I would have before, but if I'm a convenience to a guy, then it's mutual. When I got over there, I'll admit I was happy to see him. We made out in the door way as usual but this time i wasn't completely all over him. Actually while we did foreplay I was more of the one in control kissing him, holding him, gripping him, and caressing him. He tried a few things like kissing my nose, or holding me close, but I never lost my nerve. Before, I would have been putty in his arms, but I didn't quite feel he deserved that. Especially the other night when I was with a man who truly appreciated a pup such as myself. After more foreplay I sucked him. I did better then I've ever done before, was it partially because I felt superior? Even just a little? I barely looked at him when I sucked him just focussed on his dick. After he was good and hard a little more foreplay I decided that I've held back enough from the bastard. I gave him "one" lick. I could tell he liked it. I submitted a little bit to his passion as well. He had me on my back and he fucked me about 4 times. I completely worked my ass on his dick and was submitting more when he was fuckign me. Although the first two loads I was just taking it, enjoying it, but not completely submitting. I think I figured enough is enough, and people are just people. Don't think too much into it. So I submitted to him completely with his kisses and his embraces. He fucked me on my side a few times and on all fours. All in all, he shot 8 loads into me and I came twice. Oh, and I was tired before too. He jacked off once too. When we layed next to each other before I would have cuddled up next to him but this time i just layed next to him and we made out a bit. I learned a bit more about him too, and I have a better idea of what kind of person he is. Which is good for me to know. It was very fucking enjoyable, I feel no qualms about not putting all of myself into it (except near the end) or not submitting to him completely. Shows me more power that I have as a person and a bottom. And I didn't even really know that. But I loved when he mentioned a flyby about another guy. I was partially wondering if some of the things he does with me he does with others. But it's really irrelevant. When I was walking out, this surprised the hell out of me. He in a way, sort of begged or pleaded to see me again. He was "hopeful" and hoping I'd come back. I could have been a smartass but I told him he would. If I'm horny and wanna get fucked I'll see him again. Depending on what I'm doing, I won't drop everything for him like I used to. Also, the last few loads that was more of me working for them. Although he was still hard by the end he was tired I could tell. But I think he had someone else come over after me. But it was so worth waking up late and not much time before work today

I'm going to commend you for posting something personal here. Not everyone does, although this probably really the only place for stuff like this. First off, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your bf. I'll admit, it was a little bit hard to read but I think I got the gist. One, don't compare yourself to other guys it will never win. Whether you think you're better looking than them or they are better looking than you. I used to compare myself to guys all the time and it only made me feel lesser. I know someone who compares himself to others and feels superior over them. And in all honesty, he aint the best looking guy. He's hot, but not the hottest. I can relate to the empty feeling during sex. I saw a guy for a while and really liked him and read way too much into the situation. After I realized I was just a convience for him it hurt a little, especially after I showed parts of my submissive side and other sides that I haven't felt in a while since things ended with my exes. So basically there was kissing, sucking, and fucking but it didn't feel like I was really there or present. It took having sex with someone else to sort of put me back on track. Same as talking to some friends. I know how it feels to really miss an ex whether it was a bad break up or just not meant to be. But you can't let that stop you from having sex. I'm really glad I went to cumunion a week ago because it confirmed a lot for me. It's just sex. I had a blast taking some loads and cock and fucking some guys. I didn't feel desperate or lonely but I wasn't completely at my A game like I was the month before. But I had fun. I went home with a guy, I had fun. I saw the guy who I lusted after the other night and actually, I'm starting to think that he might want me. But to me it wasn't love, it wasn't romance, it wasn't a night I'll never forgot. It was hot sex with some passion, and a lot of lust and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Don't place all your eggs in one basket. Just take things for what they are and just enjoy sex with a guy if you want to. Don't let emotions, hangups, or mental blocks stop you from having fun sexually or doing other stuff. It's just not worth the worry.

Interesting. I never thought of ones eyes or "where they've been" add a candidate for an ideal fuckboy. I thought tops cared more about the body and ass. I can agree with you on his eyes that sense of uncaring and void is somewhat of a turn on. His body doesn't really do it for me though, maybe I'm just not that into skinny guys. As for whoring him out and him being obedient three are lots of guys that are obedient. Hmm, guess I don't fully grasp it. My ideal type of bottom guy (yeah even slave) would be more of an eager, laid back, or enthusiastic guy. A little bit of meat on him and fur wouldn't hurt. I'd rather have a guy who's eager and wants to please and does it because it's in his nature. Not the one thats complacent, or had been used by so many guys he didn't care anymore. But no doubt he'd follow orders. There's a certain feeling when you take so many loads, so many guys, and you truly feel that you are nothing more than a cumdump and hope and nothing more. And that guy certainly has that but I guess it's not for me. Then again, I'm not a true top in any sense. The kid needs to smile honestly.

Sooo another cumunion night. Ah, cumunion night seem to hold so much mystery and wonder. Even this was no exception. Didn't really feel like going this week a lot on my mind but a friend I knew would be there and a top told me he was going. So I went and got my dvd and got changed into my orange jock and boots as ordered by the top. I saw him and we made out, especially after not seeing each other in over a month. I was all over him licking and worshipping his pits and nipples. I fucked a guy in a sling while he was watching and we made out while we I was fucking him. I just wasn't ready to cum yet and the top told me he wanted to fuck him. Being the stupid gulliable boy I am, I sucked my top knowing full well what would happen. He fucked the guy. Oh well, I pushed that out of my mind rather quickly. I had one guy fuck me in the glory hole area I really rode his dick like it was the last dick on earth after not being fucked in over a month. He came quick, but I loved bouncing back and forth on his cock, and he liked it too. I went back to the dark room area and a short bearish guy starts feeling my ass. Before I could even react he shoves his cock in me. He starts fucking me while standing so I take a hit of poppers. I'm completely matching his thrusts and the guy's loving it. Someone's sucking my dick too, getting it hard and I see a guy in front of me getting fucked. The guy pulls out of me and I see him fuck someone else. I see the guy in front of me free for a moment so I fuck him. After a while I decide to go to the flat sling and see if it's free. It was. I lay down with my legs in the air. Some redneck looking daddy comes over and starts stroking his cock. I take a big hit of poppers and he shoves his cock deep in my hole. He was pretty big and he fucked me really good. After he shot his load he pulled out and there's a little bit of a crowd. Another guy comes in and shoves his dick in and fucks me for a good while before breeding me. After he pulls out I see someone I know and he fucks and breeds me. I walk around for a bit after that watching all the other guys fuck and suck. I go back to the dark room area with the sling and the short stocky bear shoves his cock in me again while I'm trying to manuveur. He grabs me while fucking me while we're both standing and again I match every thrust. I decide to get in the sling and once I'm secured, he shoves his cock in me and really fucks me. He gets really vocal when he's close to shooting and finally the guy breeds me. A younger looking guy with a bit of fur on his chest comes over with a huge cock and shoves it in me. He fucks me for a good while but then decides to pull out. A really big beefy bear comes over and slowly pushes his cock in me. He had a fucking beer can dick it was huge. While he's pushing in he leans over and aggresively takes my mouth with his tongue and lips and he really starts to fuck me. It's all I can do to not moan out and yell out as the beer can dick takes my hole. After some steady fucking he really slammed my hole and bred me. After that I decided to get out of the sling. I got out and walked around a little more. A guy who fucked me early invites me into a room. He fucks me in several different positions and asks if I want to go home with him. I consider my options but he's pretty hot, damn good kisser, and I love the way he fucked me. I emptied the loads I had in me to make room for the daddy I'm going home with. On the way out I saw the guy who originally wanted me to come but ended up coming late. He's a fun fuck but another time. I even encountered the Sir who wanted me to wear a jockstrap and boots and nothing else. We made out for a bit while the daddy I was going home with was talking to a friend. I could tell he didn't want me to go. But i also knew he was on break. I saw him fucking several guys earlier. When I go to the daddies place I knew the condo where he stayed. I was there a year or so ago. He makes me a mixed drink and we go out on the patio and relax. He tells me he smokes pot and asks if I mind. I tell him I don't. After several hits of the pot I can see he's high and his dick is fucking rock hard. I suck his dick right there on the patio where other guys or people watching can see if they look up. I'm a bit buzzed from my drink and all the sex earier. I lower myself onto his cock and ride him right out there on the patio. After riding him for a while he lifts me and bends me over the patio rail and fucks me. He can really fuck and I do my best not to yell out, especially us being in public. He breeds me right there fucking me over the rail. We repeat this two or three times. Finally we go to his bedroom and he fucks me in a few different positions. On my back, on my side, and on my belly. But he was extremely agressive when he fucked me on my belly. Several times he'd just shove it in, even if I didn't completely relax he'd just make me take it. It was so fucking hot and it's one of my favorite ways to be bred. After he fucked me and bred me a few times i remembered earlier he said he likes to get fucked too. My dick was rock hard so i flipped him on his belly. I spit on my cock and his hole and shoved my cock in him. He was fucking tight and I loved it. I could tell he hasn't been fucked in a while, all the better. I was agressive with him, like he was with me. And he loved it, even though I could tell he was in some discomfort at first. After that, we slept in each others arms. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt something rubbing against my ass. I felt weight on top of me and realized what was happening. I looked for the poppers half awake but couldn't find them. I felt my hole being fingered and daddies dick entering me. But before I realized it fully, he slammed his raw daddy dick in me. I screamed out and his hand covered my mouth and he humped my ass and told me I'm going to fucking take it. He was very verbal calling a me a slut, whore, bitch, and telling me how I'm his now. It was so fucking hot it really did hurt at first actually but afterwards I loved it. It didn't take him long and after a few hard and brutal thrusts he bred me and we went back to sleep. We would have fucked in the morning, but he had to be at work early. But we're definitely going to get together again. He's definitely a repeat.

To be honest. When I was first barebacking I really thought that slamming meant just a guy slamming his cock into you hard and rough. So I really liked it when I heard guys slammed. I learned quickly though. Same as partying. I really thought that the guy just wanted to drink and dance. There's nothing wrong with asking a question like this even if you think it's stupid. Better to be stupid than ignorant.

I think at this point, I'll go with it if the bottom really does have submissive and obedient qualities. It's pretty fucking hot to see a bottom with those qualities. Doing everything they can to please me, or letting me do what I want to get my dick hard and off. And, whether it's right or wrong I'll address them as boy. They seem to like that anyways, and I actually do too. Thank you uncollared.

Such a weird way to phrase it. But then again, I've been told that my typing, reasoning, and posts are contradicting and confusing and just a mess. Couldn't be more accurate. I don't know why but it seems lately I keep getting called Sir. Granted, most of the guys I fuck now are clients. Most of my sex is fucking anyways now. But damn these are really submissive, obedient, and subservient bottoms. I see a little of myself in them. It's really weird how I can be so timid, polite, shy, and good mannered when I'm talking to these guys on the phone or first meeting. I'm not sure what triggers it, I know it's more than just me shoving my dick in them. Some of them, call me Sir right off the bat. Some are just submissive and go down on my dick and some of them I don't really feel their submission until their on their belly or all fours. But it's weird, I feel like a completely different person when I'm fucking guys. Love just spitting on my cock and shoving it in. Yeah, it hurts my dick a little but it makes them feel every inch of me. And maybe I want to leave that mark and impression on them. Same goes for slapping them, spitting on them, and some getting a little verbal. And yeah some guys I'll even call, "boy". It's not a forced thing, it just feels natural to call them that for some reason. But I'm still a boy, aren't I. Well, that's another topic in itself. I love fucking them rough, and I love the ones that will pretty much do anything to please me or let me do anything to them to get them off. I think it takes a little more then just a rough spit fuck, breeding multiple times, and having them be subservient to be a Sir. I'd say if anything I'm just more of a wild top. I don't really have the finese and skill to fuck like some tops too. I just jack hammer bottoms until I bred them, and I keep doing it. Sometimes I can do it nice and steady but I really like to cum. Part of me asks myself why I didn't do this sooner. But another asks me if I'm a bit early at doing this. And I'll admit, some guys feel more like a hole to me then others. I don't think I quite have the protection trait that some tops have. It's really more about me getting off and my dick feeling good and fucking with and fucking the bottom. But I also know that the bottoms I'm with love it. They love to be degraded, slapped around, spit on, and treated roughly. Same goes for fisting them, pissing up their ass, and pushing them. I know this, because I have bottomed and still do (if I ever will again..I hope) so I'm partially going off what I like to. But I haven't really decided if I want to be an outstanding top and improve or try to learn more. I'm not sure if it's good or bad that I'm more of a selfish top right now. But I don't tell them not to call me Sir or ignore that. I accept being called that. But then again it could be said if I'm going to accept being called that then I should accept everything it means. Even if it's a client or a trick.

Fuck I haven't been fucked in like 2-3 weeks. Gah, my Sir I see has been way too busy lately and things keep conflicting. But I've been fucking a lot. Fucked a regular client of mine, but he doesn't let me cum in him so the 3 loads I shot on his back don't count. Even though I pre-cum like hell. But another one I had tonight, I did breed. I bred him about 5 times at first. Fucked him for a good while and 3 loads in his ass, kept fucking him too. Two of the loads I jacked off in his ass. Couldn't quite get the right angle for some reason. I even pissed in his ass twice, felt fucking hot. He even took my piss in his mouth. He kept calling me Sir too. That's been happening lately, lots of guys keep calling me Sir. Couldn't be farther from the truth. He needed a little break though. After I massaged him for a bit, making out, and other various forms of foreplay I fisted him. Couldn't quite get the entire fist completely inside but it was close. Fisting him made me fucking rock hard too. I bred him three other times. Since I fuck guys with just spit on my cock and in their hole, I need to stop doing that, my dick was pretty fuck raw and sore. I jacked my cock for the final load and shoved it in his ass. Dick hurt like fuck fucking him the last few times, but his ass felt great. Pissed in him one final time too. So good to get with a guy that lets me cum in his ass. Lately, I haven't been allowed too, and it's a little dissapointing. Great pig bottom too, he looked cute as hell in his jock strap. I'm definitely going to see him again.

Sorry if double posting isn't okay. Just a lot to quote and reply too. Besides, I've seen people double post to reply to a quote and not get told anything. So if it's not okay, someone let me know. Not a bad view. Same could be said for someone who goes undetectable. (Fuck, why can't I spell that properly...?) Someone who fucks around and not on meds who might be infecting others is just whatever. Someone who gets on meds and protects himself and others is applauded. Like jay said, it's all personal views and opinions. But I can see from a health view how getting "everyone" on medications that qualify and are able will ultimately help. And yes, it is actually good when people care about others and want to protect them and themselves in a sense. STD's do come with fucking and lots of sex, even if it's nature. Some people will be able to afford it out of pocket, some will have their insurance help, and some will need assistance. But you're right, and what they believe too. Everyone who is a candidate and wants to should be able to get on prep. Straight or bi. That might help get a lot of the bi's out of the grey area too. Because that's partially what they're in. It's true, they aren't really counted in statistics as much. But they also represent the straight community and view in a sense too. I'm glad you said all of that. Lately, I've been feeling guilty that on several occasions I've fucked around like an animal, bending over taking any and random cock up the ass, shoving a cock in a guy and breeding them, not knowing who they are or caring or not asking or caring about status. But in the RIGHT environment and in bareback or cum union type environments. And, from several view points, and partially my own what I've been doing is wrong, because I'm not on meds. So if I'm just an animal I should just fuck whoever and not worry about status and shit like that. In many ways we are animals, except as you said. We have the ability to reason, think, and have a mental capicity that animals don't have. This is what seperates us from animals. Just as it is an animal instinct to mate and breed. It's also animalistic to want to "PROTECT" or "CARE FOR". So those views are equally important as well. Someone who breeds and fucks around with no care for others would be labelled as a threat. Even animals know the instinct known as "threat" or "fear". Yes, animals don't blame. As humans, I believe we do have some responsibility, unless we truly can't think, reason, or have any mental capacity. That's a whole other story. Guilt, isn't always a bad thing either. But in terms of STD's I don't think people should be blamed if they get it. Now if they know they have it and they fuck others, that's more of a gray area. I'm still not entirely sold on "is it someone fault" if they became poz or not or if they infect someone else even if unintentionally. To me, that's a grey area. I forgot that condoms break even unintentionally sometimes. And yeah, when I was younger I knew someone who didn't know how to put on a condom properly too. I have a feeling, he rarely used them. I still think that it's not so much the condoms are ineffective, it's more the fact that many men choose not to wear condoms. It's not really the condom makers fault if people don't want to wear them they won't wear them. Although, it does in a sense give off the impression that the idea of condoms and using them has failed for many. I've never known a condom to break or get stuck inside a guy. I have heard stories, well if you could call them that, instances of guys expelling condoms from their ass. I guess it could happen, but worse if it gets broken up and stuck inside or pieces. Whether people want it to or not, I'm sure that PREP will in time be viewed as a preventive towards HIV just like condoms. But I doubt people will be able to be honest with their health provider (unless really good relationship) and say, "Hay, I like taking loads up my ass and fucking lots of guys raw. Can I get on PREP?" Just like not everyone is honest when the doctor asks, "number of sexual partners" or "did you have sex bare and if so how often." I'm sure that varies for everyone though. I cannot agree on that more. It is my strong belief that as long as "bareback" remains a "Oh, don't talk about that", "Don't do that.", "Did you hear so and so bareback?", "Stay away from him he barebacks?" people won't be truthful with others about barebacking about being poz, std's, or anything. Having to hide something because others can't and won't understand you makes you very cautious about telling people anything overtime. Sex in this country is so fucked. I'll never understand while murder, violence, drugs, and alcohol can be shown on tv or in movies but god forbid a side boob, dick, or anything sex related be on tv. This country is more excepting of violence, drugs and alcohol then they are of sex. The morality of society is complete bullshit too. If it were "Truly" based on morals and "respect" it would be one thing but it's farm from it. My only hope is that as the older generation of traditional values disappears a newer generation will be freer to speak and bring about change and acceptance. It is very much a cultural problem. Someone says something or asks a question. They get looks, shunned, or judged because the exact same person who is judging them or viewing the person is basing their opinions and ideas based on culture, pop culture, societal norms, and a mixed and large view of morality not their own. In short. I don't think many people can think for themselves or have an opinion that is truly their own and not a shared one to save their lives. And unfortunately, those are the people in power. But I'm getting, way off topic... Those are some great examples rawtop. I forgot that some people relate barebacking to something like skydiving, skiing, or other high risk activities. Athletes, people do other stuff that's dangerous everyday but they do it for the thrill, the rush, and for their own reasons. The only difference with barebackers is we're supposedly spreading all kinds of shit to everyone and becoming a health threat. In that case though there are labels for those who drink such as alcoholic, smokers, obesity, druggies, would that make us sex addicts? Or does that just make us barebackers. No, it really just makes us, "us". I just worry sometimes that all these programs, fundings, and the lengths that are taken to take care of people who put themselves at risk whether unintentionally or intentionally. Well, I just wonder if they can do it forever.

I know that's not the full reason. It's partially an omission too that condoms in a sense have failed. Well, not that condoms fail when used. But that more and more people fail to use condoms and I think it's %30 rise of people not using protection. It's bad but somewhere a little voice inside me is saying "Yahoo". Not for the HIV infections or STDs but for the freedom. It was also mentioned that the promise or hope of "OH, a new HIV cure...10 years from now" got old to many people. Always hearing of a cure or something coming. I'm sure that also was a factor with prep too. Something solid, that can actually help now, instead of years from now being available. Of course the CDC can't say, "Oh, well we now people bareback so here, use PREP and bareback all ya want." Besides, not "everyone" will use it for that too. There are people who will use condoms, and people who will say they use condoms and won't. I'm aware that people make mistakes, everyone does. I'm becoming more and more aware of all the safety nets too. I didn't mean it like that. PREP was compared to the reaction that the birth pill got when it first came out. It was assumed that if a women didn't want to get pregnant...she doesn't get pregnant and keep it between her legs. I'm in the south mind you, lots of traditional views down here. Of course, guys wouldn't cease to have sex if there were no safety nets straight or gay. I know not everyone wants to be poz, even some of the people on this board who are poz didn't want to be poz. Thank you, I actually really respect that view. The more mainstream PREP becomes the more it will help. The fact that the AHF guy blantantly called it a party drug and that it got in the paper or something or news is helping. For some reason, Georgia is embracing PREP extremely fast. Not only that but there was some statistics of HIV being extremely high in GA too, the top. Same goes for STDS. I laughed so hard when they said that, well inside that is. Traditional values, being told what to do and not do, people hiding or trying not to be what they really are. That all contributes. I believe someone said they pay like $10 a month for PREP. The bigger problem is getting doctors to allow people to get on PREP, moreso outside the LBGT health network and the "stigma" about wanting to take truvada and not being poz. I'm glad you were able to get the surgeory done and that it was your choice to pay out of pocket for it. I'll just elaborate one more thing on that pocket net, but I won't get too much into it. Although...I said that about PREP. You said safety net, safety net for so many things. I just kinda wonder when enough is enough. Since I knew the risks of HIV and STD's I barebacked anyways. Was that really human error and should I really be pardoned or helped for that or is it my fault? I feel it's my fault, and my choice. Fortunately anyone get really get treatment for HIV regardless of their situation. Which is another thing I see them doing with PREP more in the future. It would be interesting if in a few years guys say, "Are you on PREP? Are you undectacble?" Could you imagine that. No more of that clean shit. And it's already starting to show.

Okay, lets hope I phrased that right. If I come up with something better I will. So I went to a prep meeting tonight which was apparently a really big deal. Yeah, I'm poz and it's not very effective. At least not for me. But I wanted to learn more about PREP because I keep meeting and talking to more and more neg guys who are on PREP and some which I've fucked. But I'm not going to really get into PREP. Something that was discussed tonight really got me thinking. It seems like PREP isn't really designed for guys who bareback and don't use condoms or safe sex. It's more for guys who do use condoms. Despite this, the CDC and health members believe that druggies, barebackers, or guys who are at risk can and should get on PREP to protect themselves and others. I was really baffled at that. Someone who shoots needles, should be given the chance to protect themselves and others? Keep in mind, I have nothing against druggies, poz guys (I am), barebackers, (I am) and etc. I've just always believe that whatever my actions are, they will have consequences. Like being poz and wasn't able to get tested or on meds at first because of my shit insurance. Didn't even want to go on ADAP. I guess my view was I knew damn well what I was doing taking as many loads and raw cock as I could up the ass and even getting an STD, but I did get that taken care of and got my blood checked. But I'm probably in the minority in that. People who bareback all the time will go on PREP to protect themselves and others and if they can't afford it they'll have insurance or someone else pay for it. Or even demand they should be on it. It was mentioned that in the south (I'm in GA) that there is a lot of traditional influence and like when birth pills first came out the verdict was "Keep it between you're legs". Some people will say. "Just don't have sex." "Or just don't bareback". But I can't believe that from a medical and professional view it's believed that those who live sexual lifestyles or dangerous lifestyles should be protected and taken care of even if they can't afford it. It just...does not compute with me for some reason. I can't be alone in this. I'm sure there are people here who once they found out they became poz or when they barebacked knew that if something where to happen it's their responsibility and fault for doing something dangerous. But despite danger, reason, or logic, we still do what we do. I'm also saying this because obviously people who are neg and bareback or made a mistake fought for this I'm sure lots of people did which is why PREP is progressing very quickly. So the question is whether poz or neg. You're actions that you do in terms of sex or what you do during sex, drinking, drugs, or whatever. Do you really believe that we should be taken care of and for next to nothing too if the option is available or if you have to fight for that. Again, I'm not trying to be negative I'm just sort of in disbelief, but it's probably a good thing. I honestly don't. I'm poz, I barebacked, it's my fault. If I get an STD, that's because of the choices I made. But then again, I sort of thought after I became poz, that was pretty much it and live or die, it's all in my own doing.

Wow, what a hot afternoon. I tried to meet a guy at a bareback party at inserections a year or so ago. We met for coffee a few months after and had a great time. But, I got involved in something else and we never got the chance. So we've been talking and we decided today, to finally meat for the first time. He showed up at my door, looking sexy as hell. Love bearded guys. I got him some water and we went to it. He fucked me and bred me 5 times. I jacked off 5 times too. I got fucked in several different positions. We took a few breaks too, but it was great.