First let me say what happened to you is horrendous! None of us would know what that even started to feel like let alone be able to empathize fully. But you have my sympathy that you even had to endure a fraction of what you did.
I don't think anyone is saying this rape sounds hot, just that it might not have been rape. I'm giving you what I heard by a very good friends who is one of Topher's good friends. Allegedly Topher tells them, he only really get off being rough during sex, so he gives them the whole "who I am" beforehand. He's still the same guy in sex now, except he makes sure it is in texts so no one can then go and say "he raped me".
I can give you an example from myself. Last January I went to one of my neighbors to have sex. By March I needed fissure surgery because it was too rough. However he did not rape me. It was just a bad situation as my ass could not handle it. Mind you I had certain off and on probs with my ass for a while, but still, that one time caused so much pain that not only did my fissure get so bad, it got infected. I was on major pain meds and was bedridden for a while. It still was not rape.
Rape is a serious offense. It should not be taken lightly, it should be reported but we should also not dilute it by making false claims or taking a bad date and trying to get in the headlines with it by maligning a person.
Did Topher rape, I do not know, I was not there, but I can tell you from a mutual friend, what he knows of the situation.