Started off as a crazy/stupid fantasy. Eventually ended up taking poz loads. Was a thrill! Especially afterwards. I'd have his raw cum in my ass and I'd have cum too and so was at minimal horniness level, but feeling oddly content and kinda euphoric or something. Guess it's just the thrill of being bad, doing something 99.9% of people would consider abhorrent.
Haven't taken a poz load in a long while and tested neg recently. Looking back I feel a bit stupid having willingly let a poz man cum up my ass when there are so many possibly-neg guys out there. I'm pretty much top these days anyways bar a fuck buddy or two, who fuck me raw.
I guess it's a numbers game for me. Letting a man whose status I don't know fuck me raw and cum up my ass is an acceptable risk for me at the moment. Letting someone I know to be HIV+ do it no longer is. I still fuck poz holes though. Kinda starting to feel a bit iffy bout that though.
If I do poz up, and God knows I'd be naive not to expect it the way I carry on, not sure how I'd feel. I mean I know HIV is something I could do without, and that when I stick my hard raw cock up some randomer's tight hole, I most definitely am being a stupid randy prick.
So I guess I'm not a chaser exactly, just a grossly irresponsibly horny bugger.
Sorry if I'm coming off sanctimonious or anything at any point here, I don't judge any of you hot crazy bastards!
If I were to convert, I don't think I'd be a gifter somehow. Just not me.
But of course I'm young and this could all change!