I had an experience when I was in Boston years ago that went from a casual hookup to rape. I arranged to meet two guys who wanted to top me. This was before I became a dedicated barebacker, and I communicated that I wanted them to use condoms. Everything was going great and it was really hot letting them both fuck me. But at some point I got pinned down and the fucking got rougher than I prefer ( I’m pretty tight). At that point one guy held me down while the other guy pulled out, took off the rubber and started barebacking me. Finally I stopped resisting. By the time the first guy came I willingly let the second guy breed me too. I think about this often and wonder if it was part of me becoming a total bareback bottom.