slowfuck
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Everything posted by slowfuck
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Tops staying hard in the heat of the moment
slowfuck replied to TxGeek's topic in General Discussion
TxGeek, I think as you do that it's likely to be your mind getting in the way. As soon as your mind goes into alert mode from relaxed mode to check the state of your erection you are likely lose it. It's difficult to disengage the brain but use the mindfulness techniques to disengage alert mode and quiet the mind. Breathing in and out slowly and deliberately and focussing your attention on the sensation of the air passing in and out of your nostrils is good and not disruptive to try. Doing that and relaxing back into the sensations of playing with your partners skin at the same time should perk things up again if you're with someone you fancy and doing things you find hot. That's the basis of Jakelc's exemplary care of a top who has lost it. He's relaxing him and bringing him back to horniness showing him he doesn't need to worry - that it's ok. The principle is that the brain can only pay attention to two things at the same time so you block out the non-horny erection-killing thoughts. With anons you are likely to have mixed success purely down to the level of attraction being different and being alert to any danger signs, whereas with fuckbuds, you're more relaxed. For others it works the other way - maybe they don't worry about what anons might think of them and their performance, whereas maybe with fuckbuds they do and that subconscious worry gets in the way. We're all different. I use Levitra to help keep it up too. They work by stopping you losing the erection - rather that giving you the erection in the first place. You have to be horny to begin with. Some herbals can work too. Chinese herbal 'Dragon Light' works like a dream for me too.b Just some personal experience from tackling the problem myself. I hope it helps. -
Which Turns You On More - Anonymous Or Intimate/Connected Sex?
slowfuck replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
Option 5 for me just now, I've become more careful. -
When did you know you were a bottom?
slowfuck replied to divorcedbottom's topic in General Discussion
What in the discussion convinced you to admit it? What changed your mind? -
Barebacking and Actually Staying Neg?
slowfuck replied to davethegreat's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
That first post was in 2011, three years ago. A lot can happen in three years... -
Does it hurt, the first time?
slowfuck replied to PorscheTurbo's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
I have no clue where you are but if you did bleed in your ass and he did cum inside you and you don't know the guys HIV status which seems likely then if can get to an ER department or sexual health clinic, you can get PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis) treatment to try to counter the risk of infection with HIV. This is possible up to 72 hours from when you had sex though the earlier you get treatment the more effective it is. -
Does it hurt, the first time?
slowfuck replied to PorscheTurbo's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
Oh dear. Did they not know it was your first time? I guess he got carried away in the heat of the moment. The first time should be gentle, a finger first, then two, then perhaps easing it in a little at a time, letting your ass get used to it and relax before easing in a little further, until it is inside fully. Not thrust right in and not give a fuck about you. I'm not surprised you feel you don't want to do it again. It will be sore for a few days and you'd best not be fucked anyway for a while to let it heal properly. Not that you would anyway, I guess. Did you notice any blood from your ass after, it may have been torn a bit inside by the sound of it. When a guy cums inside you generally don't feel it unless they squirt it powerfully and it happens to be directed at your ass walls at the time. Most people only notice the cock expanding and getting harder, and as you say pulsing and his convulsions / shaking, and respond to the sounds and emotion of him cumming inside. -
I'm 59. Most of my fuck buddies are in their 30s and early 40s. Yes, I'm not toned but I do keep myself groomed to look my best. They know I will use every skilful nuance to thrill them whether it's him, me or neither with our tails in the air. I know we will do all the things I did when I was in my late 20s and 30s but the difference is that I have had a good 30 and more years to get rid of the pretention and hone those skills finely.
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When did you know you were a bottom?
slowfuck replied to divorcedbottom's topic in General Discussion
I've never 'known I was a bottom' - I just happened to be partnered at times to guys who were sure they weren't and, well, someone had to give it up I'm generally very considerate like that -
Just seen this from Canada via dailyxtra -Scientists urging restraint from Judges in non-disclosure where the risk is low including anti-retroviral treatment - “Among other things, the science supports the position that people who practice safer sex (eg, by using a condom) or who are under effective antiretroviral therapy should not be prosecuted or convicted for HIV non-disclosure.” http://dailyxtra.com/canada/news/around-the-web/experts-claim-criminal-law-overused-canadians-with-hiv
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I love intimacy, affection and approval at a basic level so it's lovemaking for the time we're together. Giving or getting sperm is the ultimate in intimacy and affection, and shows your partner wants you unconditionally, in that moment at least - which can be enough. A condom detracts by introducing a barrier - in effect feeling like the affection gets withdrawn after climax. At a rational level wearing a condom seems to say either 'I respect you and want to make sure I don't infect you with anything I might have' or 'I want to fuck you but I don't want to pick up any diseases you might have' depending on circumstance. At a primal level wearing a condom defeats the inate urge to spread ones sperm far and wide, or to collect the sperm of the best males we can lure. A cum-filled hole could be said to belong to a popular prized bottom so it's going to be a primal urge to want to get in there too and plant ones sperm in deep supplanting the sperm of earlier breeders as much as possible. In other words, I think it's connecting with ones primal urges and desires. I think it's part of living life authentically.
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Thanks, JX108, please report back!
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Yes, Deaner, you may take the opportunity, and I agree with you totally. Well said.
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I agree with Poptronic. My sexual health doc said the same regards guys who bareback regularly and think they are neg but are recently poz being the ones spreading HIV, not the poz guys on treatment. Aside from PreP, which is not available everywhere, your lowest risk would be with openly poz guys on medication who don't 'party and play' (sex and drugs combined) and have an 'undetectable' viral load. My doc says they can be the safest bet. Neg-neg can be safe but due to the latency of diagnosis you can never be sure. Bareback is a risk, but then life is full of risk. Weigh it up for yourself and then take responsibility for your own actions. No one else can.
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It's probably something as simple as overthinking. I've struggled with this too, as have most people at some time or other I guess. My take on this - which has worked for me is this: Erections occur because you're relaxed and aroused and thinking of nothing else. Anything that disconnects you from the arousal - tenses you or otherwise engages your rational thought such as worry about losing or keeping an erection, your partner doing something you don't like, or an unwelcome interruption will likely kill your arousal and your erection. Once you lose it you won't get it back until you stop thinking about your erection and get back into aroused thoughts. That's not easy, but what you can try is focussing your thoughts on the feel of the air in your nose as you breathe in and out slowly - to calm you mind - and on your stimulation be that partner or porn - and your erection should start to come back. The theory is your brain can't think if more than two things at once, so you lose the focus on the worry. I hope that helps - have a good one (or three)
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Good advice from samshadowxxx there. A look at your xtube videos, young Sam, shows you know what you're talking about Yes, pushing out to meet the incoming cock is the way to do it. Like using your ass ring to reach out to grab the cock and take it in! Overcoming the natural inclination to clench is key. Learning to clean out properly is important too. You can practice relaxing the ass ring at the same time as cleaning outif you have a douche bulb and inject the bulbful of water, sit over the toilet, relaxing your ring sufficiently so the the water drains out without more than the gentlest of pushing. Douching is discussed elsewhere so you may want to search those threads out but I use three bulbfuls of water, letting it all drain out each time, and by the final one the water is usually clean. I then relax for half an hour before relaxing my ass over the toilet once more to let the last of the water out - some usually gets kept behind - before a shower then I'm good for three or four hours. That pre-supposes good diet. Good luck.
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I believe "clean" derives from "clean bill of health", in other words, you had no infections at the last test, and no apparent symptoms since, which is all anyone can say. It's a lazy crazy shorthand, in the same meaningless way as "I'm neg and only bb with other neg guys". My own response to "you are neg, right?" is, "well I was at my last test" which is scrupulously honest and in my experience tends to be sufficient amid the haze of lust.
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Top says he's neg but won't come inside
slowfuck replied to eulesscumwhore's topic in General Discussion
I agree. It's risk reduction I reckon. I used to pull out to cum when the bottom said he was negative because I knew he had a boyfriend who didn't know about his clandestine activities, and I'd been fucking other guys bare, and taking the occasional load too. I had tested neg recently but knew enough to know that the result only referred to 3 months previously with any certainty. He cares about you. -
Are the baths any place for a neg guy?
slowfuck replied to smoothbottom's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
I concur. Everything you said in your post, Poz1956, echoes what my Sexual health clinic doc told me last week. The view is now that safer sex can be either using condoms or for guys who don't want to use condoms it's to have sex with a poz guy on treatment with an undetectable load, (or be onPrEP though in the UK you can currently only do that if you can get on the Proud study). -
I took a look at your profile. Looking good and I can imagine plenty will be happy to pay $200/hour. Most of your clients, who quite likely will be married or partnered or closeted, will be as afraid of getting an STI from you as you are of picking up one from them, so yes most will want to use a condom anyway. Keep the price up, earn a reputation for honesty and respect to encourage honest and respectful clients and you'll make a fortune in time as a top class international escort. Good luck to you
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What the...have any bottoms have this happen to them?
slowfuck replied to curiousone's topic in General Discussion
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I'm 59 next week. My profiles say that too. I have met a lot of guys whose profiles say they are 39 and turns out they are in their mid-50s. As has been said, it tarnishes them as liars, but in context it's forgivable I guess. I would probably get more sex if I said I was 48, but I'm not sure I would have the time or energy as I can get enough anyway! It would just make me more appealing to twinks as I'd seem closer to being a Daddy than a Granddad I guess. Whether that's good or not is open to debate...
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A bottom at an orgy event I went to had unwrapped condoms in his sock, each time he fancied a new top he knelt down, sucked, then took out a condom and rolled it onto the cock in a couple of seconds, turned round and guided it in. Quite clear he wanted it safe, and he kept checking. As German Fucker says, say what you want and get agreement. Negotiate the sex you want. If you're not sure you can trust his replies or actions, don't let him in. Have fun ;-)
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I have come to a similar conclusion recently. There will always be a place for online hookup sites for those who don't wish to connect with anyone more than necessary to get off, be that by meeting, or fantasising about meeting without any serious intention. Myself, I find I need more of a connection for the time we are together. Hence I too find naked house parties with social interaction helps in this. I usually think I prefer younger slimmer guys but met a larger guy in his 70s who was so nice and we had a wonderful time together.
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Best Baths for Older Man looking for bb fun
slowfuck replied to pssilverbear's topic in London Metro Area
Most baths (referred to as saunas here) are young guys' playgrounds and there can be some attitude too. Bareback does go on, but mainly in the darkrooms. For the older gent the only one I know personally is the E15 sauna at Stratford Maryland, out east of town, small place relative to many other saunas, pretty seedy looking but ok, best hours 11am to 3pm. Mixed older larger guys, mixed bi / gay. Sex allowed in basement play room and tv lounge and upstairs in dark tv lounge, cabins and darkroom. Sex forbidden in steam room, saunas and jacuzzi on ground floor due to licensing restrictions. You'll get asked to leave and banned for transgressing that rule. Others will have other suggestions I expect.
