FYI - The New "Chaser" Film Is NOT Bug Chaser Sympathetic

[rawTOP]

I'm a little baffled. Today several of the Treasure Island guys have mentioned the new short film "Chaser" in a positive light. Apparently Paul Morris even gave $500 towards getting it into film festivals. Thing is, the writer/director/producer sees bug chasing as a pathological problem that needs to be exposed and fixed. For starters the subtitle of the film is "Shame = Death". In other words he thinks most or all bug chasers do it out of shame. Here are his words on the issue...

When I made my first short film, Requited, in 2010, one of the actors, Max Rhyser, and I began sharing stories about men we'd met who are intentionally trying to become infected with HIV. They're called "bug chasers," and we mutually expressed our confusion and dismay about the subject.

What I didn't expect was the pushback that came before we'd even raised the money to make the film, or that it would come from sources seemingly dedicated to eradicating HIV from our community. (Source)

So he did the short film because bug chasing bothered/confused/dismayed him and he expected the traditional AIDS organizations to support his venture when those organizations have never been friendly to anything related to barebacking (despite the fact that many on their boards bareback in their personal lives).

I grew up in the '80s and early '90s, when HIV prevention was engrained in ours heads as a matter of life or death. I think many of us came of age genuinely believing that sex equals death, and specifically gay sex equals death, and then to take it to its logical – or illogical conclusion – gay equals death. I'm disturbed by the ambivalence and complacency I've encountered over the last several years regarding the issues of HIV/AIDS and safer sex in the gay community, particularly among younger men. (Source)

Mind you, he thinks he's being neutral on the issue...

...our decision not to condemn our main character's behavior, but instead just tell a story and let the audience make their own judgment... (Source)

But the thing is his idea of neutral is to tell the story of someone who was a bug chaser because...

Some of them are men whose families and cultures have shamed them into anonymous, unsafe sex, who have devalued them to the point where they believe their lives aren't worth protecting. (Source)

Basically in his eyes bug chasers are to be pitied and if they just had some self worth they wouldn't engage in risky sex. The man doesn't have a clue.

So why are all the TIM guys supporting him and the movie? I don't get it. Unless it's one of those things where the guy thought his film would be interpreted one way, but it actually tells a different story than he intended...

[Guest bbosouno]

Great thread for this is even a "taboo" subject within the bareback community! I've had the opportunity to actually meet a real life "bug chaser" 25 year old guy serious about being "gifted." I spoke at length with him about and didn't criticize him at all. First off, he was NOT pitiful, ugly, deranged or suicidal. He was an extremely good looking guy who can have any man he wanted. To him bug chasing was (ok this is going to sound delusional but...) was a means of "bonding" to the "gifter" top AND connecting with - what he called the "AIDS brotherhood." Yes it was also a fetish to him and he definitely "eroticized" "gifting but, bottom line - in his mind - is was all about "belonging." Nothing - and I mean definitely nothing - could "derail" his thinking or his "quest." He was determined to make it happen AND , more ironic, he knew more about HIV/AIDS then you and I combined. I felt no pity for him nor he for himself...so there you have my story. It was a couple of years ago but there's no doubt he's poz by now.

Edited May 1, 2013 by bbosouno

[straycowboy]

Bbosouno, that is the closest I can come to understanding bugchasing myself, as a desire to belong to the group, when someone mentioned in another thread about a sense of freedom, that confuses me. I dont see that converting can really set them free. I mean, everything they did to achieve their goal, is what they want to be able to do after achieving it, so what I can understand a sense of wanting to belong, hell, I've wanted that my whole life. I can relate to that. And yes I've done thingbefore just to try and belong. I just lost my train of thouhht. LOL

Anyway, I think I understand this angle, and it's not something to be pityed, or put down. I for one respect the fact that it somehow becomes a need that has to be filled for them to feel complete, just never really understood why...

[einathens]

has anyone actually seen the film?

[TigerMilner]

I've never understood bug chasing either, but I can totally relate to it as a feeling of belonging to the "brotherhood". That is what fraternities have always been about. I actually have felt something of a sense of belonging to a group since my conversion. Its like I've earned my stripes. In fact, when I was first diagnosed, I called my best friend as soon as I left the doctors office and his response was "welcome to the club!" I went from crying hysterically to laughing my head off at that comment and it was a moment he and I shared that I will never forget. He followed that line up with, "you've just opened up a whole new dating pool". It was possibly nervous laughter, to relieve the tension and emotion of the moment, but there was a great deal of truth in what he said. I didn't chase it, I didn't want it, but it is something that gives me a bond with other positive guys I meet or already knew. So I can totally relate to it from that perspective. Of course, it is totally different than the early 90's when that diagnosis meant you would be dead either quickly (if you were lucky) or would suffer for years and die a horrible prolonged death as a leper. That was a club I am grateful to never have been a part of, though I knew many back then who died.

[AIDSWHOREdavidlinn]

i'm reading this thread as I am crashing and trying to sleep. I regret converting and I regret meth... wanting to become poz and get aids and stds is at best a slutty fantasy... I don't recommend going through with it...

sorry if my profile(s) offend...

[rawTOP]

I've never understood bug chasing either...

There are a lot of reasons why people bug chase - low self esteem is only one of the many reasons and I doubt it's one of the primary reasons people bug chase. When you talk to the bug chasers on this site they're often intelligent, well-adjusted guys who are not self-loathing. They choose to bug chase (or "just let it happen") because they know they'll become poz one way or the other given what they like sexually. Bug chasing is their way of taking control of their life and making a conscious risk/reward decision - which is the exact opposite of the image that's apparently portrayed in the film - or at least the exact opposite of how the filmmaker sees bug chasers.

Now, when meth addiction is involved it's a different issue. In that case the person isn't in control and it's a messy scenario that is indeed worthy of pity.

[rawTOP]

i'm reading this thread as I am crashing and trying to sleep. I regret converting and I regret meth... wanting to become poz and get aids and stds is at best a slutty fantasy... I don't recommend going through with it...

Wow... Just wow... That is one of the most honest things I think I've ever heard you say. It was surprisingly refreshing.

IMHO, meth is your primary problem. Focus on that - the HIV you can live with. The meth will kill you.

[drscorpio]

I don't think there is much percentage it trying to figure out why Paul Morris does things. He's fairly inscrutable.

I suppose he may think getting this film out will start more conversations about barebacking, and that should lead to more people coming out either as barebackers or as supporting our right to bareback.

[einathens]

here is the official site for the 15-minute film:

http://www.salbardo.com/chaser.php

and here is a quote from the film's indiegogo fundraising page:

"As HIV shifts from a life-threatening disease to a manageable "condition," the number of gay men practicing unsafe sex, both out of recklessness and self-injury, continues to grow. We need your help to raise awareness about the alarming complacency surrounding the issue of HIV/AIDS today. As filmmakers, we're not interested in making a judgment about anyone's behavior. Instead, our goal is to start a dialogue about the increasing number of people practicing unsafe sex and ask one simple question: Why?"

note that they raised $11,619 of their $20k goal.

[rawTOP]

I don't think there is much percentage it trying to figure out why Paul Morris does things. He's fairly inscrutable. I suppose he may think getting this film out will start more conversations about barebacking, and that should lead to more people coming out either as barebackers or as supporting our right to bareback.

I asked him the direct question of why is he showing support for the film. This was his answer...

Because he's intelligent enough not to foreclose on ambiguity and complexity. "Chaser" is by no means shaming, nor is it judgmental.

I see Paul's point - to a point... I mean it comes down to what did you think of Will & Grace? I mean the gay characters were pretty one-dimensional and while they talked about attraction they always failed at romantic pursuits. Will & Jack were crafted to be acceptable to middle America. But at the end of the day the characters were a little condescending in that they had no complexity. I guess you could say Grace didn't have much complexity either. But Karen had surprising complexity.

So it's like Chaser is the one portrayal of bug chasers that could be sympathetic to a broader audience - they poor victim who's been beaten down by other people and has no self worth. But is that fair or even typical of bug chasers? IMHO, not really.

So on that grounds the film probably isn't horrible. People won't walk away hating bug chasers. But is it worth promoting? That's the part that I'm still a bit skeptical of.

"As HIV shifts from a life-threatening disease to a manageable "condition," the number of gay men practicing unsafe sex, both out of recklessness and self-injury, continues to grow. We need your help to raise awareness about the alarming complacency surrounding the issue of HIV/AIDS today. As filmmakers, we're not interested in making a judgment about anyone's behavior. Instead, our goal is to start a dialogue about the increasing number of people practicing unsafe sex and ask one simple question: Why?"

Right - so there we have the two reasons the filmmaker sees for barebacking are 1) trying to hurt yourself, and 2) being reckless. The concept that a rational sane person may choose to let strangers cum in his ass is outside Bardo's thinking. He starts with the assumption that barebacking is a problem that needs to be solved.

[GermanFucker]

Right - so there we have the two reasons the filmmaker sees for barebacking are 1) trying to hurt yourself, and 2) being reckless. The concept that a rational sane person may choose to let strangers cum in his ass is outside Bardo's thinking. He starts with the assumption that barebacking is a problem that needs to be solved.

I haven't seen the film and if it equates barebacker with bugchaser I think that would be it's main problem. Because I think there is a difference between barebacking (i.e. accepting risks) and bugchasing (seeking HIV and all that toothbrush nonsense). While there are valid reasons for enjoying the fun of barebacking, the main aim of bugchasing is indeed to hurt one's health. It's about as sane as amputating one's healthy foot, i.e. there are indeed some people who can only live happy and complete lives without certain body parts (body integrity identity disorder), same goes for BC. But one can't make an intellectual argument for bugchasing (i.e. specifically seeking out the virus) that holds generally true and that is valid outside the bugchaser community. If one isn't an HIV fetishist, there is absolutely nothing to be gained over simple barebacking (i.e. letting the dice roll) by bugchasing. Although the outcome is most likely the same (give and take a few months / years), when it comes to the bugchaser mentality, the difference is immense.

So while I respect any bug chaser the same as someone with BIID or someone's right to smoke, I don't think bugchasing needs sympathy or special encouragement. It is what it is, and that's ok, as long as it remains consensual. But for me it's not a modern-day civil rights issue.

And I don't think that intelligence has anything to do with it. Even the smartest people are influenced by upbringing and societal value systems. You don't have to be self-loathing to have these instilled values work against you. Many bugchaser say they need the virus to be able to relax and pig out, because deep inside they believe that barebacking and all-out sluttery while HIV-neg are wrong. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

And as to the poz brotherhood: Sure there is a level of mutual understanding which often etablishes an instinctive connection and makes sex less complicated. Shared experiences help bonding, simple as that. But in my experience it doesn't automatically go beyond that. Helping each other and being friends takes an effort, and more than anything it depends on the individual - not serostatus - if that effort is made or not.

Even the smartest human beings aren't purely rational. We often base our decisions on idealized notions, be it of health (if only I were healthy, then I'd be happy) or brotherhood (once I'm part of the brotherhood, I'm all set) or whatever. That doesn't mean we'll be automatically dissappointed by reality, because the way we perceive it, is subjective as well. But it means that it is almost impossible to discuss bugchasing rationally, because most of its gestation and probably all of it's allure comes from the realm of individual imagination. You seek something you have no real idea of how it feels until you've arrived. Whether you experience it as exhilarating or sobering, it's all up to the individual. Which makes it an infinitely complex, complicated issue.

[einathens]

i still haven't seen the film, but i want to point out again that it's 15 minutes long. that isn't enough for complexity. even a sitcom, once you subtract commercials & credits, has 20 minutes. and sitcoms have multiple episodes to develop characters and and explore themes over time. this film doesn't have that.

[TigerMilner]

I'd really like to see this film. All the talk in the news about the possibility of "a cure" from Denmark makes me wonder, if there is a cure, will there still be bug chasers? Or will the allure/mystique fade?

[rawTOP]

But one can't make an intellectual argument for bugchasing (i.e. specifically seeking out the virus) that holds generally true and that is valid outside the bugchaser community.

After years of listening closely to bug chasers I disagree rather strongly. Then again I see bug chasing as a continuum from the "give me all the STDs I can get" folks (who I think are mentally ill), to the people who "just let it happen" - they know they'll wind up poz, but don't change their behavior, yet don't want to admit they're essentially a bug chaser. But in between are rather rational guys who know their sexual desires are going to make them poz - so they take control of the situation and consciously decide to enjoy the process. I literally saw the moment of clarity with a friend of mine a few years ago at Steamworks in Chicago during IML - he just accepted his fate and embraced the entire scenario. He was at peace with what he was doing (and loving it).

To me bug chasing (for certain guys) makes total sense. What I think is a problem are the people who don't want to think about the risk their taking and then are devastated when the inevitable happens. To me that's sad. And a big reason why I like running this site is that it gets people to think about their sex lives and be honest with themselves.