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Open Relationship Issues


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Oh and masc mount man, while your advice is usually sound , as it on fact is in this case, I tho k your wasting your breath. The op isn't likely to gain any insight from it unfortunately.

Meh...made a mistake and missed the last few posts before posting myself, so was responding to earlier stuff.

Anyways, I figure the whole point of opening this sort of issue up in a public forum is so that not just the OP but everyone else can kibbutz and benefit. I've certainly learned a lot reading others' posts in threads I didn't start and didn't even comment in.

As for taking my advice, well hell, not even I can do that on a consistent basis. People are broken, as a wise man once said, myself more than any! But sometimes maybe something might sink in that might be helpful down the road a ways.

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Meh...made a mistake and missed the last few posts before posting myself, so was responding to earlier stuff.

Anyways, I figure the whole point of opening this sort of issue up in a public forum is so that not just the OP but everyone else can kibbutz and benefit. I've certainly learned a lot reading others' posts in threads I didn't start and didn't even comment in.

As for taking my advice, well hell, not even I can do that on a consistent basis. People are broken, as a wise man once said, myself more than any! But sometimes maybe something might sink in that might be helpful down the road a ways.

I think u make a lot of sense in what u say... It's nice to get advice from like minded people... In the end we all make mistakes one way or another and everything has a learning curve...

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Meh...made a mistake and missed the last few posts before posting myself, so was responding to earlier stuff.

Anyways, I figure the whole point of opening this sort of issue up in a public forum is so that not just the OP but everyone else can kibbutz and benefit. I've certainly learned a lot reading others' posts in threads I didn't start and didn't even comment in.

As for taking my advice, well hell, not even I can do that on a consistent basis. People are broken, as a wise man once said, myself more than any! But sometimes maybe something might sink in that might be helpful down the road a ways.

MascMountainMan, I appreciate your replies and feedback regardless of what emb says. I don't know why people read and reply to these threads if they are bothered by them so much. In the end I do consider all feedback and find it useful. I don't think you wasted your time. And I agree that this discussion probably is better suited for a private forum but alas we tried that and were getting nowhere with it at first and I don't have many people in my circle that are capable of engaging a situation like this. Sorry if that bothered anyone but I personally have no issue with letting it all hang out and getting down and dirty when something isn't right. It beats being repressed; I did that from age 2 until 25 and it only made me strange and off putting in my life. It took me a long time to put it all into perspective and realize that I was a confused product of Homophobia and Pedophiles until then. I do thank everyone for adding their two cents and think that this topic may help someone somewhere maybe if it doesn't necessarily help us, so how can that be wrong. At least it's good for a laugh if anything, even I can admit that.

U know I always cared about ur father and still do... Would have loved to have met him and reassure him that I would take care of u.... I'm still totally committed to u and us! Don't let a stupid remark stand in our way... U know the real me.... I'm dedicated and totally committed to u.... I love u for gods sake!

What you to this day fail to understand is that while I wish my family was accepting and capable of understanding the gay lifestyle they just aren't. My father, especially, has a hard time with it, even though I know he loves me and wants my happiness, and he has had a near stroke at the idea of me being with someone who was five years older and male, much less ten plus years and foreign. He is 81 years old and from a different era. The constant nudging to introduce you to them after just one year on and off together (mostly off might I add) was entirely awkward. I feel like 50% of our ongoing problem was this drive to make me more of a pig like you and you just couldn't accept that I have the need to take it slow and then it might never happen. I acknowledged your "need" to be a pig and never tried to stop you from it but the way you confronted me on my lack of interest on the topic made me feel pressured and as I told you from the start that only makes me shut down. It's unfortunate I guess that neither of us could match the other's speed nor really understand what the other needed out of this relationship, even though we both seem to know what we ultimately want from one.

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MascMountainMan, I appreciate your replies and feedback regardless of what emb says. I don't know why people read and reply to these threads if they are bothered by them so much. In the end I do consider all feedback and find it useful. I don't think you wasted your time. And I agree that this discussion probably is better suited for a private forum but alas we tried that and were getting nowhere with it at first and I don't have many people in my circle that are capable of engaging a situation like this. Sorry if that bothered anyone but I personally have no issue with letting it all hang out and getting down and dirty when something isn't right. It beats being repressed; I did that from age 2 until 25 and it only made me strange and off putting in my life. It took me a long time to put it all into perspective and realize that I was a confused product of Homophobia and Pedophiles until then. I do thank everyone for adding their two cents and think that this topic may help someone somewhere maybe if it doesn't necessarily help us, so how can that be wrong. At least it's good for a laugh if anything, even I can admit that.

What you to this day fail to understand is that while I wish my family was accepting and capable of understanding the gay lifestyle they just aren't. My father, especially, has a hard time with it, even though I know he loves me and wants my happiness, and he has had a near stroke at the idea of me being with someone who was five years older and male, much less ten plus years and foreign. He is 81 years old and from a different era. The constant nudging to introduce you to them after just one year on and off together (mostly off might I add) was entirely awkward. I feel like 50% of our ongoing problem was this drive to make me more of a pig like you and you just couldn't accept that I have the need to take it slow and then it might never happen. I acknowledged your "need" to be a pig and never tried to stop you from it but the way you confronted me on my lack of interest on the topic made me feel pressured and as I told you from the start that only makes me shut down. It's unfortunate I guess that neither of us could match the other's speed nor really understand what the other needed out of this relationship, even though we both seem to know what we ultimately want from one.

I understand all that and it's a non issue that not meeting ur parents really.... Don't want to pressure into doing anything u don't want.... I'm sure we would grow in it together...I also like the fact that u give the space to express myself sexually with others .... Otherwise it would never work.... I realize that I have been less than perfect regarding other issues known to us....all I can say is that I respect and love u very much bad want this to work.... U have to believe me when I say I would never hurt u in any way.... Please give me one last chance.... Lets go together to Orlando and then u can always decide if u want to move in with me to Berlin...

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