How Do You Handle A Bad Hookup?

[rednyellow]

This is why I no longer host for strangers. It's easy for me to leave. I'm honest, just say This isn't working and get dressed and leave. Some guys get pissed. too bad. Sometimes it's turned into a nice conversation and a friendship but as you described, I'd just leave, cut my losses. In Palm springs I've had to ask men to leave my room. Some I didn't let in the door because they didn't even resemble their online pics or were just wasted. Once time at my last home, I literally had to throw all his stuff out the door and call the cops, which was a weird call to make.   

[wood]

Had a few dates similar like yours. Not really into the guy but too horny to refuse him. Regretted it afterwards. Should have send him on his way back. I think a lot of us had moments like this. Too horny not to let the guy in, 2nd thoughts later and afterwards feel like shit for doing it.

ding ding.  If you know its not going to work just say, look, this isn't what I expected and let it go.  you will feel much better about yourself afterwards.  

 

If you two are fucking, and its awful, stop, and say you need to go to the bathroom.  Make up any excuse, dick hurts, stomach ache if topping, bleeding, nauseous if bottoming, and say you cant continue, apologize, and get your things, or motion for him to leave if he's at your place.  By doing it this way, you avoid some awkward convo's and still end the scene.   

 

There really is no point in continuing if its that bad, will he get off? maybe, but does it matter? end it asap, and move on without feeling bad about it.  Even if the guy is hot, not everyone is compatible, and it may just be a case like that. 

Edited August 28, 2015 by wood

[Guest bbbearlover1]

I asked a bottom to leave my place, because he'd advertised himself to be a sub, and he definitely wasn't remotely a sub.  He gave me the "I'm a sub in the bedroom" line, and that just doesn't work for me.  Ultimately (and as he was getting dressed), he admitted that he really wasn't a sub.  I am up front and honest with all I deal with (my real height, weight, face), why come to me, if you're not being honest?  It's a waste of time and energy all the way around.

[cam1972]

One of the first hook ups I had was with a guy who said he was single, in his early forties and had a picture on his profile that went along with how he had described himself. He showed up at my door....... Late 60's/early 70's, not him in his pic.... And he admitted he was married when I pointed out the noticable line where his wedding band normally was. I was stupid enough to let him in. We talked and he tried to get in my pants. I stopped him, then asked him to leave. He did, but called me and said that next time he wanted me naked when he arrived. I told him in no uncertain terms that there would not be a next time and told him why. I told him to never contact me again. To his credit, he never did. I still think of that experience every time I go into a hook up situation. And it does give me pause. But I have had the mindset that if I don't take a chance on someone, I may miss out on something great. I'm still waiting on that to happen tho.... Hook ups just don't seem to be my thing.. Maybe someday... I will say that the violence factor in your experience would have scared the hell out of me. I'm not a big guy. I don't really know what I would have done in that situation. Except for... What you did. And hope like hell that he doesn't get more violent. This will definitely make me think more about meeting guys at my place.

[zack82]

I've had twice where the other guy looked nothing like the pics he sent through, with the latest one showing him with a flat stomach and a cock on the larger than average side, but when I got to his place he had some extra weight and a smaller than average cock but still managed to fuck me bareback but didn't give me a load. Was a decent kisser though. Won't be hooking up again with either. Had another guy who couldn't get hard or into it (at his place), so I left, blocked him on Grindr, then yesterday he starts talking to me on Scruff saying "I think we've talked before". Not a very good memory on his part, he apparently is a top but with his rather small uncut cock I would doubt the effectiveness of it to have much of an effect on my hole

[MidwestKinkBB]

This is why there is still a place for bath houses. They are much safer than going to a stranger's home or having them over.    It's always good to have a good relationship with the staff there and have them keep an eye out for you.  I almost never invite people into where I am staying whether it is a hotel or home.  I have had one too many guys try to rob me.  I do keep pepper spray on me and I make a ritual of disrobing to help screen out the dangerous psychos and criminals. If they pull something, they get pepper spray in their eyes and I am out of there.

[Bttm2go]

I agree, that's why I like bathhouses or sex clubs so much.

[seaguy]

I am a nice guy and very patient, also tend to be non confrontational.  But that said I also will not tolerate someone abusing my physically, lying to me, or making a mess of my stuff.  So I think I would have probably let him in like you did but when he did the thing with the lube I would have said ok this is over, cause you justy costed me a couple hours of doing laundry mother fucker.   But like everyone has said it depends on the situation.  if he was some big guy who I felt might go off on me for ending it early then I might soldier on just to get him off and out.  Sometimes I have seen guys warn others of someone who was a bad hookup cause they totally lied and were playing head games/being way too rough.  I think that is only fair and is doing a nice thing by warning others.  Of your gonna lie about your age by years and years and then be a selfish mean lame lay then you deserve to have your profile tweeted out with a warning to others cause Karma is a bitch.

[mike258]

I was just coming here to talk about a bad hook-up, well it started off bad and wound up alright.

 

This is only the third guy I've been with, but I met him online, he has a big, round ass which I fucking love, and he said he wanted my cock. I asked him if he liked rough sex and he said "yes", so I set it up.

 

We met at his hotel room and he asked me if I wanted a drink and I said no. I started undoing my pants and he was like, wait, before we start, let me just get comfortable. I thought to myself, "what kind of whore are you?" but I let him go into the bathroom. He came out a few moments later and sat on the bed. I pulled my cock out and he gave me one of those "I'm not used to sucking cock" blowjobs that I really didn't need. I wasn't turned on at all. It was slow and methodical. After about 45 seconds I just told him to get on the bed.

 

I slid my cock in and he was just looking away, kind of not really into it. So I decided to pin his legs back and mount him so I could go deep (that usually gets a reaction). Still very little to nothing. So I did something I haven't done in a long time: I spit on him. Right on the side of his mouth and said, "you want me to fuck you or what?" and he immediately was like, "fuck yes!" so I started fucking him harder and spit on him again. And I choked him a little. And he started moaning and letting me know he appreciated me fucking him. I came in his mouth instead of giving him a load which I know he didn't like, but fuck him, he didn't earn it.

 

He sent me a text this morning wanting to hook up again before he leaves. Fuck that.

[MidwestKinkBB]

The gate problem.  I would contact whoever handles gay rights in your area and let them know you want some help on how to handle building management on how to get the gate code changed and if you might want to get an Order of Protection.  The most important thing is to save your ass and down the line you can worry about your reputation. Just be careful.  My brother's 6th grade teacher and teacher's lover were killed by some rough trade so be careful.