Coming out as a barebacker

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

A guy I hookup with regularly indicated he came out as a barebacker, which was a new one on me. He explained to him it's being upfront on his online profiles that he is bareback only, saying that to guys before hooking up he's a barebacker, before dates, and so on. Has anyone else done that? Are there other aspects of coming out of a barebacker I'm not thinking of? I'll be honest...I list it on some of my profiles, but not on others. If a guy is tentative about barebacking I'll usually tell him we can wrap when we get close to cumming or pulling out to cum, and taking my chances there's an accident or we'll change our minds. Failing that I almost always tear the tip of the condom with my fingernail so it tears or fails when used (yes I know, that makes me a douche bag). Thoughts?

[negbtm]

I'm also open about being a barebacker, and on some places about being a chaser, it's never negatively affected anything for me, and usually gets me interest from guys who claim to have never done it before. 

[Guest descartes70817]

I always tell bottoms that I only bareback. I always tell them that I don't pull out either. I get plenty of sex.

[chubbybear]

I've found that being open or "coming out" as barebacker is the best way avoid flakes and guys who say they want to do it raw but then arrive with condoms and try to talk me into using them. I tell them up front that I only take it raw and expect them to cum INSIDE me. I'd rather a guy break off the chat or block me on a site/app than deal with "I know I said I thought it was hot and I wanted to do it ... BUT .. I've changed my mind" BS when the hookup actually takes place. Being up front and clear that getting his cum in my ass is a non-negotiable condition of our hooking up has saved me a lot of frustration since I made the decision to be a raw only/condom free cumdump bottom for ANY load. This especially holds true when trying to negotiate a hookup with a poz top who's not ready to be a gifter and share his toxic load with a neg chaser.

 

[sleazebugga]

Only started playing raw as a regular thing earlier this year after a few years of occasional dabbling. A few weeks ago I changed the profiles of the 5 or so sites I am listed on to indicate my strong preference for unsafe sex. Getting slightly fewer messages on some sites, but glad I have weeded out the condom only guys, so that the guys who do show interest know what the score is: raw bb fucking the natural way.

[hungry_hole]

2 hours ago, sleazebugga said:

... A few weeks ago I changed the profiles of the 5 or so sites I am listed on to indicate my strong preference for unsafe sex.

It's inaccurate to call bare sex unsafe because if all involved are tested and not contagious then there is nothing unsafe about bareback sex. "Get tested"  is the philosophy of SafestSex.org which I strongly recommend. Get tested and be able to show you have been tested. Some like to push PrEP, but I find safestsex.org by far the best alternative. The problem is that the site is new and not many know about it. I joined 3 months ago and I'm starting to find other members.

 

[Guest]

I've also used that exact same terminology - even on this site somewhere.  I had been barebacking close to 10 years pretty exclusively, but still had my "safe sex" boxes checked.  Then when I'd be chatting one on one, I'd admit I had to top them raw or I'd lose my hardon - sometimes I'd flip - fooling both myself and the other guy that I'm "usually safe".  I didn't want guys that knew me and friends that saw me online to know how risky I was being.   Then about 2.5 years ago I finally grew the balls to join bbrt and saw how many hot fucking guys were on there that I wanted to fuck with and also started seeing the "status" of PrEP.  So I got on PrEP within a month and kinda consider that my "coming out" as a barebacker, telling guys right up front it's raw only, unchecked those "safe" boxes, even telling my regular (non-sex) friends I'm barebacking and even admitting I have been for years.  I'm having more (and better ) sex than ever in my life, and with hotter guys.  Everyone once in a while I get turned down for bb (yesterday a guy on grindr told me I "ruined it" when I sent him a pic of me barebacking someone), so I moved on to the next guy, and he wanted it raw

[SuccessfulChaser]

I am from an era where all queers fucked bareback.  Pre-HIV crisis, we enjoyed a life of fearless sex and fully believed rubbers were for breeders.  I stayed a barebacker through the 80's and never was infected with anything. 

I never really was a condom NAZI----if a guy wanted to use one when he fucked me it was ok---and if he plowed my ass raw, that was better.

But when I started chasing in the winter of '14/'15, I did start changing my profile(s) and made it clear upfront that I wanted only raw cocks (and of course raw POZ cocks).  Additionally, I got a BBBH tramp stamp tattoo---just for good measure.

Since getting knocked up I am very clear with guys.  I only take it raw, I am POZ and I am NOT on medication.  I know that has eliminated some possible partners---perhaps quite a few.   But, I have found a whole "network" of great POZ guys and I get fucked with great regularity.  

As far as I am concerned that is the most authentic way I can continue to live a very queer and satisfying fuck life. 

Edited December 8, 2016 by SuccessfulChaser

[einathens]

it's so much more efficient to be honest and clear from the get-go.

you might get some negative feedback from a few guys, but who cares? that's what the block button is for.

tearing the tip of a condom of a sex partner who wants to wrap up is just wrong. shame on you for that.

[evilqueerpig]

I state it plain and simple....."If it ain't bareback, it ain't fuckin and it ain't happenin!"

[Guest fitnessfreak]

I not don't see any problem with being open about being a barebacker just show that you more honest than must guys on those dating sites. I been backbacking for 12 years and still neg never used condom or prep during that time even know I did have many sex dates with poz guys mostly me topping and loading them up.

I'm proud to be a barebacker

[claireannet]

I have to admit to being a reformed condom nazi.   Until an incident last summer, I had never felt a raw cock in my ass.   If it was not wrapped, we were not going to fuck.   Then, last summer, a random top "used the wrong lube" and the condom was destroyed.   No doubt, my attitude resulted in a lot of fear and anger at that situation....and a round of PEP as well was the outcome.   But I could not get that feeling of his raw meat out of my mind.   Later in the summer, I asked a couple of very trusted buddies to do me raw, just to see if it was the raw dick or the risk situation that was so stuck in my head.

Those two experiences told me something about myself.  I loved both the feeling of raw dick and the risk was a huge turn on as well.   In January, I changed all my on line presences to "raw only" or something like that.  It has only been a short time, but I am now very much a confirmed bare backer.   

[analluv27]

I find prefer bareback sex than condom sex especially when the guy cums in my ass, but I generally leave the choice up to the top and the few occasions I top I leave the choice to the guy admittedly the last guy I topped bareback was in November and the feeling of raw ads was so nice, 

[Ultimatefreak86]

I have the most amazing raw sex encounters. Reading all these comments, I find myself finally finding people just like me. I am proud to be a raw cumdump freak. I use to dabble in it back in the day, but I couldn't deny how great it felt to have random men use my hole for complete satisfaction. You guys are absolutely amazing. I want to travel the country, meet guys like you and become the sluttiest cumdump ever. If any of you guys ever want to send for me and use me, in down.

[ObligingBottom]

Yeah I find it easier too just to be upfront and open about it on my profiles too.