Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[Hottightass4u]

I've read all the responses so far, and I agree with a lot of them.  Speaking as a pig living in bum fuck Egypt, I think I would have better luck in major metropolitan areas--more men, more chance of finding a Pig.  I've gotten laid pretty good on recon.  As to bbrts, NKP, etc., not so much.  It's hard for me to tell who's serious on all these sites.  So, I make the hour, 2, or 3 drive to the sex clubs, leather bars, etc.  Seems more of the men there are serious, though you have a fair share of stand and posers, size queens, etc.  I was in college when computers took over our lives, so I'm thankful for sites like these.  Just my 2 cents.

[sleazebugga]

Live in a small market town about 50 miles out if London UK here, really don't have time to travel far for sex, so on line apps vital for me to find a good bb fuck ( finally chucked the condoms 2years ago.) .All of them are hit and miss and dominated by the younger crowd (some of whom are still interested in playing with an over ,55 guy). Major hassle are guys that don't actually read the profile before contacting. 

Squirt quite good. Allows u to opt for stating that u play raw. Messages ping back and forth slowly tho, so often miss guys that are interested and vice Versa.

Like the features of bbrt and had some good fucks from there. Messaging quite fast and it works well even tho not a paying member. Good to have a site for dedicated bb guys.

Nasty kink pigs a bit too fetishy for me as not into PNP, fisting s&m or bondage ( I know I am boring!!!). So some hot guys, but a bit druggy for me.

Grindr is all very immediate, but difficult to tell if guys fuck raw on there. Mentions of bb in your personal profile get deleted, but got round it by saying I didn't use c_o_n_d_o_m_s. So far not been removed. Had the most number of irritating 'nearly meets' on there. The kind of guys that contact u late at night,  chat til way past bedtime and then suddenly vanish just as u think u will score. Had some good meets on there, but more flakes.

Gaydar is gradually recovering from its disastrous make over early in the year . Most of the tech now works again, but many guys have left and all the non vanilla chat rooms deleted ages ago. There is a poz rm, but not one for negs who fuck raw. U can mention bb and status in profile. Good for fone wanks and chat, but increasingly difficult to get local bb action on there.

Recon : quite a few bb players on there, but a majority not. More for fetish stuff which to be fair is its aim.

Fab guys: just started using this. Is it just in UK? Had a lot of local guys contact in it and met a few of them.quite a lot of them play raw. Lots of bi guys. Good tech features and can search easily for guys who state they bb. Presentation of site a bit basic, but it actually works surprisingly well.

Fuck, all this writing about bb hook-ups got me horny again....

 

[drscorpio]

I live in a small (~20,000 people not counting students) college town down in the deep south. I have two perspectives - what they are like at home and what they are like traveling. Also there has been a change over time. My husband and I opened up our relationship in the summer of 2011. In the last 6 years, I have found my ability to hook-up online has drastically decreased. I do acknowledge that I am older (50s), heavier (definitely a bear/chub), and a bottom; I do know those things work against me to some degree. I have used Grindr, Growlr, Scruff, Adam4Adam, Bear411, and BBRT. 

Bear411 was never that productive for me. A year or so ago they revamped their site making a free membership worthless. I get a notification that someone has viewed my profile, but if I want to view their profile, I have to search for it. I still check my profile now and again, but they never sold me on the value their site. I think it would be much more useful if I lived in a larger city. 

BBRT is useless in my hometown. When I do a geographic search the nearest guy online is usually about 100 miles away. When I am travelling to a gay event, I get the reverse problem. There are so many guys on it, you can hardly sort through them. BBRT is great when I am traveling for work and want to set up an hook up in reasonable sized city. 

A4A used to be great for me, but it seems to have gone into a decline. Most of the guys on there both in my area and when I travel just seem to want to chat. It is nice that they changed the euphemism "Anything Goes" to "Bareback" in profiles. I still have a moderate amount of success on here, but nothing like it was a few years back. 

Scruff and Growlr are being lumped together. At home, there are not enough people on at any one time to get much action. When traveling they are better. It is nice that being an older bear counts less against me on these two although Scruff seems to be turning into "Grindr for twinks with chest hair."

Grindr is the only usable hook up app/site in my hometown. On a normal night, there will be less than 5 people on Scruff, Growlr, and A4A and 30 people on Grindr. Consequently, it is the one everyone uses at home.  I get a fair amount of interest and hook ups from Grindr. When travelling, I find that I am too old and fat for the Grindr crowd. As a funny aside, I love being on Grindr at Texas Bear Round Up; nothing but bears for miles and the occasional confused twink or muscle boy. 

So I wrote all of that and then I remembered to talk about Craigslist. As other hook-up sites soured for me, I found CL was a great alternative. Lots of cheating married guys and "curious" young men looking for DL sex. 3 years ago, I would get 30 - 40 responses to an ad; now I get 5-10. The last time I tried to use in while traveling for work, every single response I got was from young guys hoping I was "generous."

 

Oddly one of the reasons cruising online in my home town has gone downhill is the repeal of DADT. I live about 75 miles from Ft. Polk which is a fairly large Army base. Lots of personnel is stationed there for brief periods for some special training. Now that soldiers can be openly gay, all the cruising sites are full of soldier boys looking to get laid and lots of them are fresh meat who will only be around a couple of weeks, and almost all of the bottoms advertise willingness to take it bare. There is city of about 50,000 45 miles south toward the army base. All those hot soldiers are only about 25 miles away from there. I used to get a lot of tops willing to drive an hour to unload in a bare ass, but I suspect they are mostly breeding army boys now. 

The larger problem unfortunately is online cruising becoming mainstream. It used to be only horny whores who were ready to fuck cruised apps and sites. That meant you got a lot fewer picture collectors and time wasters. Now, it is socially acceptable to have online profiles, and a lot of people online are tourists. 

 

 

[muscmtl]

u guys to the same and let's compare stats

within 500 km

grindr, using tribes=poz : 14 guys

scruf, "he's into poz"search: 154 guys

bbrt, geolocation: more than 210 guys

 

conclusion: grindr is for girls

 

[bberik]

My problem with many of the apps is that they don't tell if the person is into bb or not. Therefore after a short chat I have to ditch the people I was interested in the first place. That way the websites are better. 

[fskn]

User activity and free functionality are the two critical factors.

If not enough people are online near you, or at times when you are free to hook up, you're bound to experience more rejection and frustration. Meeting is a numbers game: the more men, the greater the chances of finding someone compatible. For this reason, Grindr wins hands-down. Despite being just the opposite of the stereotypical young white twink, I meet lots of people there (and whatever their profiles say, most do bareback!). I am willing to maintain a paid membership precisely because there is so much user activity.

If it's not possible for free users to view reasonable numbers of profiles (Recon), really see private photos that have been unlocked (BBRTS, Growlr), or send reasonable numbers of messages, users eventually give up. One problem is not being aware of the limits of the free functionality. When people unlock their private photos in Growlr, I have to remind them that, as a free user, I can only see the first two.

An app needs some paid users to sustain itself, but it must attract lots of free users to maintain a critical mass of activity.

@rawTOP, two differentiating features to consider are a data privacy pledge and an open API.

Despite the sensitivity of gay hookup activity, existing apps have terrible security and make no commitments about privacy. Messages should be encrypted end-to-end, readable only by the two users, not by the app provider. Location data, user activity data, and (even encrypted) messages should not be stored on servers after processing. Scruff has a blog post on adding a little randomness to proximity data, but more work is needed in that field. Gay sex is a capital crime in large parts of Africa and the Arab world. Even here in the US, we risk job loss, social ostracism, and, for some users, a break-up or a divorce, if the wrong people find out.

Lastly, all current gay hookup apps are closed platforms. Someone reverse-engineered the Gay.com chat protocol and supported it in a universal chat program, but that is now long-forgotten. If you want lots of users and lots of activity, an open protocol is the way to go. Why not integrate directly with a secure messaging platform, such as Apple iMessage, Signal, or Wickr? (I'd include Whatsapp, but metadata -- who communicates with whom -- is now shared with Facebook, the new corporate parent.)

Sorry for the long post, but I hope it's helpful!

 

[AirmaxUK]

On 09/09/2017 at 11:50 AM, CumSlutDamien said:

I was on irc when in college. That was the late 1990s. Someonet old me recently that it is still in use, but primarily by the government, gamer chat, etc.

Wow I was on IRC in the early nineties on EFNET - I owe thanks to the supportive community on there when I was coming out. I remember many late nights in front of a text only terminal in the uni library chatting with guys across the world. The primary U.K. university channel was #ukpoofs and we had many Meetup’s and parties all over the uk. There were a lot of chat channels for all kinds of interests and I met some nice and interesting guys in my formative years on line and in real life through IRC. 

I also remember Lintilla which was a multi user text based adventure thing. There were various worlds to explore and the gay one was popular. You could explore and chat to guys and earn points to your profile which unlocked various abilities like being able to lock a room for privacy or kick out a troll. Chat was of the horny one handed typing variety... and led to some sticky situations in the library and computer centre at uni. 

[BillyBareback]

I think it depends a lot on location. In NYC, Tampa, or Denver, I can find what I need on BBRT pretty much all the time. But in Colorado Springs, A4A and Squirt are reliable, but BBRT is useless. I don't use the phone apps. never had much luck. In East Asia Squirt good. One thing I really like about Squirt is its GPS enabled cruising feature so that you can find bathhouses, ABS, tearooms, parks and stuff pretty much anywhere in the world, and post to the location to get details or let people know you're there. I would like to see a poz fetish site. BBRT makes it easy to find guys by constructing a search, but some poz guys don't like being approached by neg guys and vice versa. I would love a poz fetish site where profiles are listed as poz, poz undetectable or neg, and nothing else and set up where poz guys see all members, and neg  or undetectable guys see only poz guys. No lists of dont know dont care etc, and PreP is not mentioned. If I could find a webhost, I might start it myself.

[andrew456]

bbrts was good and met a few tried grindr waste of time usually go to bathouse and sometimes Hampstead heath ? 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

Grindr is such a mess nowadays cause there's now a healthy amount of guys not looking for sex. And those that do wanna hook up generally prefer twinks or trans. It makes hooking up rather hard cause you gotta wade through profiles to find someone.

BBRT was always a miss for me. I've constantly had poz guys beg to breed me (I'm neg). Out of the months I was on, I never hooked up with anyone.

A4A is like Grindr but there's a lot more communication involved. The "online now" system needs work. Hook ups can be solid though.

[Guest]

I've had more success on BBRT than on pure apps like Scruff.  Though I did get lucky within 5 minutes of signing up for Scruff but nothing since then

[Guest dirtyarky]

What I don't like about hookup sites,too many people won't post a picture of themselves. Too many guys try to block you, just for saying hi. I don't like the pretty boy model type. I like the rugged everyday blue collar guy, but, these sites are over run with pretty models. I think if you are in a hookup site and you block someone just for initiating a conversation with you,then you should be banned from the site. And the same goes with posting a picture,if you haven't gotten a profile picture after 30 days, you should be removed from the site.  I'm all for anonymity, but, let's be adults, you are in a hookup site show a fucking picture!!!!!

[a2malways]

I am a bottom in Toronto. For me bath house is the way to go followed by formal sex parties like Cumunion where organizers get an actual venue. In Toronto they actually host Cumunion at a bath but there are a couple of other parties like that.

Apps like Grindr have several issues mentioned by many others. Everybody is 28 years old looking for the hottest gym bid or prettiest face. I don't post face pics online and while I am in pretty decent shape I am in my late 40s.

But perhaps more importantly these phone apps don't allow you to search by things that are meaningful to me. I don't care about your face I care about your cock. I want to know who is a BB top with a big and preferably uncut cock who wants to breed ass. I assume that the Apple store has a problem listing apps that are this transparent.

To some extent the baths will always be better for me just due to choice and volume. I don't feel satisfied unless I can get at least three loads so a place with a hundred guys is more likely to satisfy than trying to setup multiple hookups.

I don't entertain at home so having a neutral location with shower and douche facilities is also huge to me.

While I am too old for a lot of the Grindr crowd I seem to be popular at the baths. But while I have found bareback to be increasingly common I find a lot more guys who will fuck you bare but hold off on giving you the load. So while I get fucked a ton actually getting the loads can be a matter of timing. Guys cum in the ass of the bottom in front of them at the time they decide they are ready. And at the baths they have options. So I do like the idea of meeting with one guy specifically to get that load.

 

So I would still really really love an app that would give me some extra options to match up specifically with big uncut BB tops.

 

[Pozbtm4breeding]

For apps, I use BBRT and Squirt. BBRT is my go to when I travel for work and can list the city & dates I will be there. Also, I can check any local parties in the area before I arrive. I have had pretty good success with BBRT when I am staying at a hotel. It's easy for pump n dumps and can keep the anon factor. Also I have hosted 5-6 Local Parties on BBRT over the last few years. This is where the flakes really cum out, lol. Twenty five guys sign up and two actually show up. Drives me fucking nuts! I use Squirt for local cruising in my hometown. This gives me places I can stop if I am driving or going to be in a certain area of town. Recently I  found a great cruising spot near my house that i never knew about because of Squirt. When I get the opportunity, I go to bath house/sex clubs. It's more a commitment for me than a random pump n dump park/ABS/restroom fuck. My only thought about the new site and the invite only/verified is how can you ensure the accuracy of the verification? IMO it seems like a nightmare to manage. What about guys that live in small towns or those that are on the DL? 

I like the idea of combining the content of BZ with a hook up app/site. Some of the content on BZ could possibly be a little "dark" for the torso and pretty boys that have invaded other sites like BBRT. Suggest keeping the poz/piggy nature of the site at the forefront. My guess is most guys want a site in which guys actually use for hooking up, sounds easy but i am sure it isn't easy to achieve. Thanks for this site, it has helped me evolve in ways I never knew possible. Looking forward to the new site! 

[sluttony]

For me it is a mixed bag.

Back when I first started to slut around because I was both in a town with very little open gay activity and I was naive about where to go etc, it was only places like Gaydar and their chat that you could usually quickly hook up on or by hitting a cruise or cottage.

Gaydar was great for years like that but then they made some really odd changes to it by, for example, rationalising the numbers of chatrooms down and they went from quiet places you could usually get a hookup from with a bit of patience to completely deserted and full of flakes and fakes.

But about that time, other sites popped up such as bbrts, squirt and the uk-centriic fab buys. I've had a lot of success off of the latter two but surprisingly not so much on bbrts to the point I could probably count the successes on one hand.

Grindr is very hit and miss. I've gone from inundated with interest and meets to nothing for weeks and weeks at a time.

So that's a long way of saying none are really more successful than others for me so I use 'em all.