Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[analluv27]

Websites are definitely a hit or miss with me. I don't post a face pic due to the fact I work in a rather public job, and I find it it weird thinking Simon came across my photo online and realise what a freak I can be. But I digress I do more hook ups at the video store and adult theatre than online. I believe it's me due to  the fact I can't host, matter of fact I think if I was single I'd have dick a plenty. 

[MomentofReflection]

it’s going to depend on who you are.  I’m Poz and a vers top.  Gay culture has gotten considerably better towards Poz people, and everyone is now a bottom after PrEP.  So that’s worked out in my favor.

whats kinda weird about aps is that they’re cleaning off to represent different segments of the gay community.  For instance, Scruff is very much a place for your kinky/middle class bears, growlr is your basement dwelling fat guys...there’s not a lot of overlap.  That didn’t seem the case a few years ago.

[Guest rawbeef]

On 9/24/2018 at 6:49 PM, DirtyBruin said:

I'm all for the idea of a site where an account is limited in some significant way until the user posts a photo; if they post a FACE photo (not necessarily as their main one, but freely visible on their profile, not a "private" photo), they get extra features unlocked. And if they skip over/don't answer too much of the profile (like with BBRT's damned "ask me/ask me/ask me/ask me/ask me") - the system will simply refuse to post the profile at all.

There is no open source face detection library I'm aware of, so someone would have to be monitoring profile photos at all times in order to grant/revoke privileges. You can require people to post a face pic to sign up, but half of them will try to cheat the system, and enforcing the policy will only turn people off.

Questionnaires can be handled by requiring people to answer theirs in order to read others, but "ask me" shouldn't be one of the options. ;)

[Guest rawbeef]

On 11/21/2017 at 7:05 AM, PhoenixGeoff said:

4) All of the sites have a habit of leaving people logged in for a long time after they're actually gone IRL.  The sites benefit by being able to inflate their "active" figures, and the users like it because, even if someone messaged them hours ago while they were gone, they still get that little dopamine hit of attention being paid.  But for messengers, it leads to questions of "Is this guy blowing me off?  Or is he just away?"  Plus, people online will just leave conversations abruptly in a way that would be completely rude in real life.  The conversation will be going great and you're getting ready to head out, then *poof* he vanishes.  What happened?  Who can say?  

You might think operators leave people logged in to inflate their counts, but the truth is that it's very difficult to tell the difference between someone who's idling and someone who's gone, particularly when you can be logged in on multiple devices, and some users choose to remain logged in indefinitely.

Web chat was invented the dialup days where somebody picking up an extension would knock you offline. The ability to reconnect to a session in progress, and where messages don't cease to exist when they scroll off the screen was desirable. Real-time web chat has been tried and almost universally fails, because you need a relatively captive audience like a world where there are only a handful of such websites to choose from.

As for "talking in installments", sometimes web chats are interrupted by real life and one assumes the other user will understand this.

[dude8688]

Whether grindr, dudesnude, fabguys or even BBRTS, I find gay guys far too vain and choosy. I find the onslaught of 'you're not my type' replies pretty despressing after a while. All I want is to take a load inside my arse! Going to the sauna is the real-life equivalent. The only people I attract are old hairy dudes who do nothing for me.

[Guest ff-whole]

Too many flakes I think who like to live in a fantasy world... go through the motion of maybe hooking up and then flake out...
There is just nothing we can do to filter out these guys... they are probably also the most that lurk here and say they want to get Pozzed but probably never had a bare dick in a mile distance....

Maybe this website can figure out a way to have a system where you can be accredited for being the real deal... A group that will be able to verify your status for being a real load receiving bottom or load giving top and so on...
When I look at BBRT I see someone that fits my bill hmmm arse, but when I try to hook up I sometimes get as far as exchanging phone numbers for Whatsapp and I think YESSS, just to be disappointed a minute later for just silence and no more communication. Maybe BBRT should allow users the chance to give credit to others... flake to oftenand your thrown out of a certain group.
I mean, it can happen sometimes that you are called away but how about an honest explanation. Or you might have second ideas about the person you are about to meet. Make a form where you can explain why you discontinued the meet. Which others can read and decide if you are still a viable bottom or top. Fil in the form to often and your rating will still go down. Some sort of a review item per member.

I know that I only am getting desperate for dick and lots of cum, and tired of jacking off...

Maybe @rawTOP can look into this...?

Edited January 14, 2019 by ff-whole

[PhoenixGeoff]

On 1/14/2019 at 9:04 AM, dude8688 said:

Whether grindr, dudesnude, fabguys or even BBRTS, I find gay guys far too vain and choosy. I find the onslaught of 'you're not my type' replies pretty despressing after a while. All I want is to take a load inside my arse! Going to the sauna is the real-life equivalent. The only people I attract are old hairy dudes who do nothing for me.

The level of entitlement and lack of self-awareness in this post is absolutely stunning.

[PhoenixGeoff]

On 1/13/2019 at 9:40 AM, rawbeef said:

You might think operators leave people logged in to inflate their counts, but the truth is that it's very difficult to tell the difference between someone who's idling and someone who's gone, particularly when you can be logged in on multiple devices, and some users choose to remain logged in indefinitely.

Web chat was invented the dialup days where somebody picking up an extension would knock you offline. The ability to reconnect to a session in progress, and where messages don't cease to exist when they scroll off the screen was desirable. Real-time web chat has been tried and almost universally fails, because you need a relatively captive audience like a world where there are only a handful of such websites to choose from.

As for "talking in installments", sometimes web chats are interrupted by real life and one assumes the other user will understand this.

I get that, and it does make sense.  There's no way for a website to know if you've just flipped over to a different site for a minute or if you've left the house.

But here's where I think the sites know what they're doing and taking advantage of it:  many of them make it very difficult to log out.  Growlr and Scruff both make you go fairly deep into the settings menu before you can sign yourself out.  Adam4Adam does something similar.  They want you to get into the habit of just closing the window but leaving the session active.

And then there's the length of time it take for the system to decide to log you out.  I have no idea how long it is, but it seems to be on the order of quite a few hours.  That's far too long.  If I haven't been active on the site in the last 30 minutes, or 1 hour at the most, I probably ought to be signed out.

But here's the thing: if I signed into a site or an app in a reasonably large city and there were only half a dozen guys active online at any given time, I'd probably decide that the site's userbase was too small and I'd move on somewhere else.  So I'm to blame for this too.

Maybe the solution is to steer people away from the "I Wanna Hook Up Right NOW!" mentality to towards the "Let's set something up for this weekend" kind of thing.  BBRT and A4A kinda let you do this with party ads, but I'm sure there's some improvement to be made. 

Maybe part of your profile could be posting your general availability.  Most of us have to work around our jobs, family, school, and other commitments, so if you can tell people you're free to hang out on Sunday afternoons, or that you'd like to set something up for Friday night, that would be good.  Maybe some kind of calendaring function (which you could even export), so people can see when you're free and when you're not, and when you set up a hook-up with someone that time gets blocked off on your calendar. 

Something like that would actually give you a bit more flexibility, from setting aside ten minutes to drop by and fuck a load into an anon bottom, to setting aside a whole evening for a date, to setting aside several hours at a bathhouse to meet up with a group.

[aguy19047]

I am new to this site but have been involved in the online hookup scene for a while now. I am sure the lack of success I am having now is due to my age (61 yo) more than anything but I do wonder.

For me, the best times were back in the days of AOL chat rooms. I used to travel a lot on business and most cities had one or more chat rooms for M4M. It was easy to go in their, post what you were looking for and then engage in private chats to set something up.

One thing I have noticed over the past few years on Craigslist, before it changed, and other sites is that there used to be more guys looking to get sucked than there were guys like me who wanted to do nothing more than give blowjobs. Now, it seems to be the reverse and there are far more men looking to suck dick than get theirs sucked. I don't know why that is but it used to be easy for me to find a guy on AOL or the phone chat lines and get together to suck them. It was easy for a while on Craiglist but that seems to have changed a few years ago.

But as I said before, I am sure my recent lack of success has more to do with my age than anything else.

 

[whore4poz]

Not  all of us live in places with bath houses, adult book stores, gay bars, etc. I'm really searching for a website that connects me with local poz men -and once gifted, will help me connect with neg men that likewise want to be converted. 

In a perfect world I'd be a cum dump on call for all the truckers passing through town, wanting either a blow job or to just tie my wrists to the headboard and pound me without mercy. Eventually I'd get pozzed. I'd do it right, too....I'd be the kind of guy that would drop what he's doing to service someone. 

 

[Guest GoneFishing]

I skip the apps and cut to chase hitting the tubs and hosting my own sex parties.  The wasted with flakes equals 7 loads.  Never miss a drop. 

[versamarried]

BBRTs is such a disappointment in my area. Maybe it is because in my area there are 3 ABS's in a 5 mile radius so tops are able to drain regularly. I have posted ads hosting as an anon cumdump multiple days in a row and gotten 0 responses. Also, always seems like the same tops/ver tops are online and none ever even read emails sent to them. A4A has not changed too much, lot more barebackers on there now that CL has forced more people onto apps/websites for hooking up. No other sites are really any good, doublelist is nowhere near as good as CL was in it's heyday. Would be great if DL would not lump all of NC under Raleigh.

[Lurking2learn]

I had the most luck using Craigslist and when the shut down personal ads, my sex life took a definite downward spiral until I got up to speed with some of the other methods.

[aargosbot]

Grindr has always worked for me. More guys are barebacking now with PREP.  I used to be an exclusive condom user but for the past couple of years there has been an increased pressure to bareback.  It's hard to say no to bareback. As a result was not getting laid as much through Grindr. Also as my desire for bareback amd getting bred has been strong. So I am getting on prep. Hopefully will have more sex. Will keep you updated. 

Have never been on bbrt. But I think BBRT will be rendered irrelevant as Barebacking becomes the new normal. 

[aargosbot]

For an ethnic brown  bottom vers in a White country ,bathhouses and bars can be a bit of a hit and miss. Sometimes I am forced to be a top as the place is teeming with bottoms.