Not sure what to do..

[Guest CuriousDallas]

I'd hooked up with this hot 20 yo Latino guy off Grindr and we had really hot sex. He's totally my type, very hot body, nice sized uncut dick and like most Latino guys he went bareback with no questions, loading my ass and letting me load his. He liked that I could host and the timing worked good for him to meet up in the mornings before he goes to work (he works in a restaurant and has to be there to prep for lunch). So far, so good, right? I've seen him out walking an area that's known for hustling with his shirt off, which in and of itself proves nothing. The other day though he asks me if I could kick him some money and I was a little surprised about that. I asked him how much he needed and he asked how much I could offer, which was an unusual choice of words. I said I had $40 and he said that would work. I asked when he could pay me back and he said "it's not like that" and I wasn't sure what he meant. I think he could tell from my puzzled look I wasn't understanding him. He said "for what we been doing here" and I got the sense he wanted me to pay for fucking. I was kinda surprised as I'd never really paid for sex before and like to think I can get it without having to pay. It was clear he wasn't gonna let it go and was looking to get the money. I gave it to him and he leaned in and kissed me super deeply and intensely and he said "you know, you and I do things I never do with other guys." Again, I wasn't sure what he meant by that and I mumbled something stupid like I really enjoy getting with him. He told me he had to go and said we should get together again after the 4th.

Here's the thing...should I get with him again? I'm worried he's gonna start making me pay every time. We've had sex probably 12 or 15 times so far and he's never asked for money. He's never mentioned he hustles and we've never had a discussion about his status (although in fairness I've never talked about mine either). I'm pretty freaked out I've let him bareback me and cum inside me so many times when he's apparently out hustling and probably letting guys cum inside him for money. Unless that's what he meant about us doing things he never does with other guys. He is really cute, the sex is amazing, and I like it's no strings. Part of me wants to ghost on him and not hook up again, but part of me wants answers. Should I just say nothing and keep hooking up? Walk away? Or stand up for myself and ask him some hard questions about what he does sexually?

[PhoenixTriad]

He sounds shady.  Ask the questions.  Be direct and be prepared to tell him to get lost.  You're correct - you don't need to pay for it.

[HardOneLA]

Lose him.  I had one who, after sex, asked if I could spare a few bucks for Uber.  I reluctantly gave him "a few bucks", i.e. not much.  Another was all set online to come over the other night, then asked, "Can you help with my cabfare?"  I said "no" and ended it.  These guys aren't working, per se, they're in need of money for more partying.  Not my scene.

[Pozlover1]

You owe him nada. Ghost and when he comes around tell him honestly that you do not want to pay for company. If he threatens you to collect for past events call the cops. Yes even in Dallas. Be honest with them. Likely they already know him and will talk to him. Oh and buy a fucking gun. 

Edited July 8, 2019 by Pozlover1

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, CuriousDallas said:

“you know, you and I do things I never do with other guys."

Puh-lease. I didn’t just ride in on the turnip truck, dude.

Total snow job. While it’s a little strange that he’s hooked up with you a dozen times before hitting you up for payment, that line has now been crossed and changed the entire nature of your arrangement. You are no longer a friend or lover - you are, in his eyes, a customer.

All that remains is for you to inform him that, while you enjoy his company, you do not pay for sex. If he still wants to fuck you without wheedling you for cash, fine. But be prepared for him to instead move on to his next trick.

And keep an eye on your wallet.

Edited July 8, 2019 by ErosWired

[Close2MyBro]

You need to move on. Don't even give him a second thought, and cut off all ties.

[drscorpio]

Yeah, he’s out hustling on that street where you saw him shirtless. Yeah, he is taking everyone’s cock and ass bare. He wants you to think he only does that with you, but that is bullshit. If that scares you, I think you’re done with him. 

He probably won’t ask you for money every time just every time he needs it. He probably had a bad run of luck or needs money for something specific, so he hit you up for some. He’s probably more than happy to give you freebies when he is flush, but today he wasn’t. If he asks again, tell him “no.” You are way too young and hot to need to pay. 

[Guest pigchaser]

I think you should tell him that you're not going to pay him for sex period... It appears that the guy is a hustler who lures people in and then starts charging them.. If he's not keen in hooking up for free then ditch his ass... its also a good idea to get tested.. hope this helps

[Guygonebad]

Agree with all the above comments.  I’ve had a couple of tops over the years hit me up for money. Never, drop him! If you want to hook up with him again ; then make sure hole knows you will never give him money again. Then see what happens, but I can almost guarantee he will ask again. 

[MuscledHorse]

that's a non go unless he is willing to play for free. I keep my pro-sex life and play life separate and guys that do that stuff on apps like grindr earn a solid "no" from me and occasionally a profile block.

[Riverfk]

1 hour ago, MuscledHorse said:

that's a non go unless he is willing to play for free. I keep my pro-sex life and play life separate and guys that do that stuff on apps like grindr earn a solid "no" from me and occasionally a profile block.

Agreed. I used to be a pro and would keep that and my personal sex seperate, which had a way of making my personal time extra valuable. Dump him.

[tallslenderguy]

14 hours ago, CuriousDallas said:

I was kinda surprised as I'd never really paid for sex before and like to think I can get it without having to pay.

Here's the thing...should I get with him again? I'm worried he's gonna start making me pay every time.

 

Some guys hustle to disassociate from their own needs/feelings.  I.e., he may have a problem with accepting that he likes guys and asking for money gives him a 'reason' for what he is doing other than needing to be with a guy.  i don't know, but i'd hazard a bet that he is into you, which is not to say he isn't hustling you too, he is. It's not necessarily black and white, people are complex beings, eh?  He has discovered that he can get both satisfaction from you and money.  But with the money exchange, you both lose something: an affirmation of intrinsic value.  I.e., Instead of you having value for who you are, your 'value' is that you pay and you become a commodity. He also turns himself into a commodity by reducing sex into a money making opportunity. 

You know you can get sex without paying for it, it's not  just something you "think."  This isn't your first hook up. Even with him, you know it's possible to get sex without paying, but once you paid him you've demonstrated a willingness to do so. There's a power exchange in that gesture. You might be able to regain the status of sex without paying, but that kind of depends on him. If he is taking money to rationalize his need for being with a guy, depending on how important that is to him, he may drop you.

It's just conjecture on my part, the fact that he had sex with you so many times without mention of money could mean he is struggling with who he is, or it could just be part of his hustle, or maybe some combination of both.  

[ejaculaTe]

Dump him. Block his number, profiles, etc. Once he gets money from you, then it’ll be a drip-drip-drip situation: $15 here, $25 there, new sneakers... Saying “no” now and being rid of him means you’re saving yourself the aggravation of having to dump him later when it could be Inconvenient for you. (I’ll put to one side the situation where a “no” response from you triggers an outburst of anger or violence from him.) He’s hardly the only guy in the area with whom to have sex — and you deserve far, far better than the treatment you’re getting from this guy. 

[mnbare]

Walk away PERIOD

 

[bbzh]

On 7/8/2019 at 1:19 AM, CuriousDallas said:

1)  We've had sex probably 12 or 15 times so far and he's never asked for money...He is really cute, the sex is amazing, and I like it's no strings.

2) I'm pretty freaked out I've let him bareback me and cum inside me so many times when he's apparently out hustling and probably letting guys cum inside him for money.

3) Part of me wants to ghost on him and not hook up again, but part of me wants answers. Should I just say nothing and keep hooking up? Walk away? Or stand up for myself and ask him some hard questions about what he does sexually?

1) Did you accidentally catch feelings for this guy? If you fuck someone you are very attracted to on a very regular basis, it's easy to get caught up. What really stings here? Be honest with yourself. Is it really the money or something deeper?

2) If he is having bareback sex with you, he's probably having it with everybody. It should make no difference whatsoever if he is being paid for it. Barebacking for free is not somehow morally superior to barebacking for money. And if you are worried about your health, then reduce the number of partners you have, get tested regularly for STDs, find a bf, or <gasp> wrap it up.

3) I don't think he owes you any answers. Besides you know the answers already. You weren't friends. You weren't dating. If you don't want to pay, leave him alone. If he asks why, tell him why. Simple. It's really not that deep. Free sex is great and he shouldn't have switched it up on you. But let's show the rent boys some love. If the dick is good and the price is reasonable, why sit online for hours, compete for dick and deal with flakes? You had sex 15 times with him for $40 and you mad? Girl, what's his number? I'm trying to see sumthin'. 🙂