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Have you ever been raped?


Edinjo62

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34 minutes ago, austin_submale said:

Sorry you went through that.  Nobody deserves that.  You're a good person.  I wish you the best healing possible.

I'm trying to get better. Some days are okay then some days either trauma, dysphoria, or depression or even all three hit. Some days I find myself standing on my bridge looking down trying to find a reason not to jump off. My list of reasons to keep going is getting longer, so that's progress 🤗🤗

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When I lived on Long Island. I went to the city. Met up with some friends. When they left I stayed to finish my drink. A guy bought me a drink. We talked for a bit. I went to use the bathroom, came back finished my drink. Next thing I know I’m in his apartment naked on his bed with him on top of me. And seeing another guy naked waiting to rape me too. I tried to fight back and couldn’t. The next thing I remember after the two attacks on me was I was on my way back to Long Island shaking and trying not to cry. 

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1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

I'm so sorry so many actually had to deal with such an outrage.  I simply cannot imagine how one get's past that, but clearly a lot of you are dealing with it as best it can be dealt with.  

i was 12 im almost 29 now so ive have a long time and it still messes with relationships 

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I was drugged and raped when I was 12 by the dormitory master for my year, a religious brother, at the boy's home I was in.

It completely fucked up my sexuality and personal relationships for decades. I didn't even realize what happened to me was child sexual abuse until I was reading an article in the newspaper in my 20s about the outcomes for child rape survivors. As I went down the list of impacts my stomach felt like it dropped out of me, almost every impact applied to me. I started therapy that week.

I did all the work to get my head right, but no one has a roadmap for how to deal with how your body holds on to what happens to you. It took a long, long time to undo the abject terror of getting fucked and try it in a way that let me feel safe and in control. That's when I realized I was wired as a bottom and discovered incredible joy from getting fucked and bred.

Rape affects men as deeply as it can women, but for children there's significant research showing child sexual abuse affects how our brains work (fMRI studies) and alters structures in the brain and how they function. Child rapists don't just fuck our bodies for however long they want us, they fuck our brains and they stay that way. We have to learn how to manage the results for the rest of our lives. 

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NO, and I don't tolerate the idea of raping, even in fantasy; non-consensual sex is NOT sex freedom at all! 

In same way I don't approve stealthing because sex, be it short or long term encounter, must be something that both (or more) parties enjoy and then remember as fun. 

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23 hours ago, wow456 said:

did you like it?

If you take any time at all to read the posts in this thread by the men who have had the courage to share their experience and its aftermath, you will realize how utterly inappropriate that question is. This thread isn’t about rape fantasy or fetish. It’s about what happens when shit gets real.

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I have been subjected to two ATTEMPTED rapes. The first was scary as hell and got very violent, both on the part of the wannabee rapist and myself. Even though I came out it with only minor injuries it fucked with my head badly for awhile and made me much less trusting. The other incident was just comical and was more of a case of the "rapist" role playing without letting me know what was happening and turned out positive for both of us.

The first incident, the bad one, happened in an ABS several miles out of town. I was in the area for the summer working on a job. I had been to this ABS several times. It was usually busy although it was in a rural area with no large cities nearby but had the advantage of being within driving distance of 3 or 4 small towns or smaller cities. A lot of those country boys were on the DL and looking for what they weren't getting from Betty Sue at home. I was happy to help them out. I had got to know the guys that owned it rather well, they were a gay couple and were good people. They liked to play around with the customers at times and I had fucked one of them (using a condom because this was early '90s and AIDS was very much a concern at the time). He invited me back to the office and we fucked while his partner kept an eye on the store. He was a very hot black guy and total bottom.

One night I arrived at around 10:00-10:30PM and after saying hi to the owners I went into a 2-man booth in the very back of the video room. I was watching gay porn and the door opened and a smiling black guy asked if I wanted company. I invited him in and everything seemed cool at first. He was a little shorter than me but was built like a tank, huge biceps and wide shoulders and powerful looking. I already had my cock out when he came into the booth and he soon pulled his out. I went down and started giving him a blowjob. He soon pulled my head up and with a grin said he was really looking for a little more than a BJ. I hadn't bottomed for more than a decade and to complicate things even more I had a hemorrhoid operation a couple months before. I explained that to him but he was insistent, saying he wouldn't hurt me but there was no way I was going to risk any damage so I forcefully told him NO. It was like flipping a switch, the nice guy went away and he went into a rage. He pulled me to my feet and slammed me against the wall and pulled my shirt open ripping all the buttons off and told me I had better get my pants off before he started breaking my bones and knocking my teeth out, using every racial slur you can call a white guy who has sex with other guys. My adrenaline valves were wide open and my fight or flight response was turned to max. Since he was between me and the door flight was impossible so I started yelling. That really pissed him off and he spun me around and clamped a hand over my mouth. Things were happening fast and details are kind of blurry but while he was trying to overpower me he had one arm straight out and was bracing on the wall, I somehow managed to hook my arm over his and pulled down on it hard and kicked his legs hard causing him to lose his balance and fall face forward against a small shelf under the video screen where they kept a roll of TP for cleanup purposes and where customers could put their clothes or a bottle of poppers. It stunned him and I pulled his head back and slammed it face first onto the edge of the shelf several times. That took the fight out of him and he fell to the floor. I stepped over him to the door and got the hell out of there fast. I ran out into the main area, my shirt ripped and covered in blood, both his and mine from a nose bleed. The guy behind the counter was trying to ask me questions and I just said something about that bastard tried to rape me and headed out the door to my truck and left thinking the cops would be there any minute and I wanted to be somewhere else.

Two days later the cops hadn't shown up to arrest me (I don't know why I was worried about that since I was pretty anonymous, management knew my first name but that was all), so I went back out there after work to apologize to the owners and find out whether I was kicked out forever and what was happening regarding that night. I talked to the owners and they said no apology was needed since it probably wasn't my fault. I explained what happened. They said they had trouble with this guy before and he had explained it away as having too much to drink and he turned on the charm so they had let it go. Turns out I had broken his nose and knocked a couple of his teeth out against the shelf. He had tried to claim I had assaulted HIM. The guy was in the army and was working as a recruiter and didn't want the police involved or his name in the news. The guy had gone back to the ABS the next day whining about his injuries. The owners banned him from the store.

The whole thing was terrifying and really rattled me mentally and emotionally. I'm not a fighter by nature and avoid trouble. I had gotten very, very lucky, I could have easily been badly injured or even killed by the drunken psychopath piece of garbage. He was much stronger than me and outweighed me and while I had some training in the army I am not really a trained fighter. My last fight was in the army 20 years before and I didn't do real well in that one. What helped me that night was being in excellent shape due to hard physical work, lots of running and physical training, and packing heavy chainsaws and heavy packs up and down steep mountains. But still, outside of luck, I could not have handled him

It made me a lot less trusting of other people even now, 30 years later. I find myself constantly looking around and hyper aware of possible danger. I have always been somewhat introverted but after that night it became really hard to be in a crowd. Some social situations, especially if they involve alcohol or drugs, almost give me a panic attack. I told a former GF about this and she said it was something women deal with constantly, being smaller and weaker the realization that some a-hole could really screw up their day is with them constantly. In my case I don't want this to sound like it wrecked my life or made me afraid of other people because it didn't. In small groups and especially with close friends I am usually the dominate personality, even though I am an introvert. But it did have lasting effects, not all of them bad. It caused me to develop an extreme abhorrence of violence. It made me much more aware of how my actions affect others. I think I came through it a nicer guy than before. I have played at S&M when a sex partner requested it but my heart isn't really in it and other than some light kidding around it is a turn off. And I absolutely will not play at being a masochist. Never! And for those wondering, no, I did not develop any fetishes for this incident, just revulsion and disgust. I have only talked about this with one other person, a former GF. This is the first time I have ever really opened up about it to this extent, I have kept it bottled up and probably have a degree of PTSD about it.

The other incident I mentioned? It was just funny and ended up being erotic. Another ABS, several states and several years away. A pretentious little sidewalk command dressed in leather and trying to act like a badassed biker stepped into a booth with me and started playing tough guy. I was mildly amused and decided to see where it would go. He was telling me how he was going to fuck me whether I wanted it or not and he was going to make me like it. I thought it was cute and decided I would like to fuck HIM. I played along for a bit until he pinched one of my nipples really hard, I pushed his hand away and told him I don't like my nipples played with, which I really don't. He grabbed for it again so I picked him up by the front of his biker jacket and held him against the wall and explained that I was a top and if he wanted to play I had a motel room down the street and would really like to fuck his hot little ass and if he was into that let's go get it on. So we left together and both had a very enjoyable evening. He left several hours later with a couple of loads of cum in his sexy ass. It's a memory I cherish. I guess you could say he ended up raping me with his ass. And I did like it. Very much.

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On 11/15/2023 at 7:22 PM, chasingseedinaus said:

Yep when I was very young. It was fucked up and has fucked me up since. I have never really shared to anyone.

I was molested at 8, turned me into a cum munster,  😵, sad thing is it's my cum i been eatingall my life, , but glad Wayne's DNA is still inside me 😵

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On 11/16/2023 at 7:11 AM, blackrobe said:

I was drugged and raped when I was 12 by the dormitory master for my year, a religious brother, at the boy's home I was in.

It completely fucked up my sexuality and personal relationships for decades. I didn't even realize what happened to me was child sexual abuse until I was reading an article in the newspaper in my 20s about the outcomes for child rape survivors. As I went down the list of impacts my stomach felt like it dropped out of me, almost every impact applied to me. I started therapy that week.

I did all the work to get my head right, but no one has a roadmap for how to deal with how your body holds on to what happens to you. It took a long, long time to undo the abject terror of getting fucked and try it in a way that let me feel safe and in control. That's when I realized I was wired as a bottom and discovered incredible joy from getting fucked and bred.

Rape affects men as deeply as it can women, but for children there's significant research showing child sexual abuse affects how our brains work (fMRI studies) and alters structures in the brain and how they function. Child rapists don't just fuck our bodies for however long they want us, they fuck our brains and they stay that way. We have to learn how to manage the results for the rest of our lives. 

my own experience involved first one then two teachers, like you, i didnt even think of it as rape, it was more seduction but as a 13 old boy was it really seduction or rape? i never considered myself "fucked up", but it certainly had an impact

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I was not actually raped I guess but I did get myself into a situation when I was 14. My first sexual encounter was with a 34yo man. I’d made it obvious I was interested in him and he took me up on it. I started sucking his cock and quickly moved onto swallowing his loads. Several times when I was sucking him off he’d say “I gotta have your ass” Nothing happened so I kept on meeting up with him and sucking him off. One day when I was sucking his cock, he forced me on to the bed on my belly (I was already naked when I was sucking him) then he got on top of me and I  felt his hands between my ass cheeks. He kept on saying “I want your ass” I tried to stop him but he was too strong, then I felt his fingers go up my hole. I yelped but he carried on. He kept telling me that I wanted this - that I wanted to be fucked. He took his fingers out of my asshole and then I felt his cock pressing on my hole. He forced his cock inside me. I was still trying to get away but he kept going deeper. It was painful for me but he kept telling me how good my ass felt. Then he told me he was all the way in and he started fucking me. The pain lessened a bit and I didn’t have the strength to get him off me so I gave in and he fucked me like he wanted. It didn’t last too long before he shot his load in me - yeah he barebacked me. So I guess I wasn’t raped but I was coerced into being fucked. I still went back to him though.

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