Is bromance really a thing?

[tallslenderguy]

2 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

 

 Love is a confusing word. Don't we love our friends? But then again, do we hug them, kiss them or sleep together? But with whoever we sleep do we love him? Everybody says that they love their friends but it's just a word. Maybe love requires a bit of touching and feeling but without desiring sexual intercourse? And a second thought of mine. These guy are good looking and young. And they have sex with women (rumor has it). So maybe having sex between them just waits for a sparkle?

i think the Greeks have/had the language/word things more right. As hntnhole points out, they have several words for love. For instance "phileo" is descriptive of friendship love, while "eros" speaks to sexual love. At least it seems their language is more detailed in its meaning. 

i don't think "love requires" anything, i think people require, and love is a word we use to try and convey a feeling. i think there are moments we can experience of perfect, or near perfect connection/communication,  i think that is an ongoing pursuit though, versus a constant we reach and stay at. 

[Hairypiglet]

Can we stop calling it a bromance though? It's called homosocialism. Girls do it too. The term bromance is rooted in homophobia.

Homosocialism itself became [banned word] in the US and elsewhere because of homophobia.

[Bymike]

Everyone opinion is different. Bi men I think are half of the M4M sex and encounters.

[Sharp-edge]

59 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

think the Greeks have/had the language/word things more right. As hntnhole points out, they have several words for love. For instance "phileo" is descriptive of friendship love, while "eros" speaks to sexual love. At least it seems their language is more detailed in its meaning. 

i don't think "love requires" anything, i think people require, and love is a word we use to try and convey a feeling. i think there are moments we can experience of perfect, or near perfect connection/communication,  i think that is an ongoing pursuit though, versus a constant we reach and stay at. 

I'm impressed u know these words.

U are right. We also have the words "erastis" and "eromenos". Many greeks don't know the diiference. erastis and eromenos mean lover but have an important difference. Erastis is the lover who penetrates and eromenos is the one who is penetrated. That's why  in greek a woman has an "erastis" and a guy "eromenos. In ancient greek literature these words are used for tops and btms.

The words "eros" and "agapi" can be both translated from greek as "love". But eros means in love (cupid) and agapi is love. Aphrodite was not the goddess of love but of eros (lovers).

[tallslenderguy]

19 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

I'm impressed u know these words.

U are right. We also have the words "erastis" and "eromenos". Many greeks don't know the diiference. erastis and eromenos mean lover but have an important difference. Erastis is the lover who penetrates and eromenos is the one who is penetrated. That's why  in greek a woman has an "erastis" and a guy "eromenos. In ancient greek literature these words are used for tops and btms.

The words "eros" and "agapi" can be both translated from greek as "love". But eros means in love (cupid) and agapi is love. Aphrodite was not the goddess of love but of eros (lovers).

lol, ironically, i learned some Greek when i was part of a religious culture.

i thought i remembered from other posts you have made that you are Greek?  Wow, that is very cool information about "erastis" and "eromenos."  It's interesting to me to consider the ebb and flow of different cultures. Part of cultural ethnocentricity seems to be each culture seems to consider the current as the most advanced (progressive?), yet in many ways, that just doesn't bear out. When is comes to male with male sex, 'ancient' Greek culture seems a lot more "progressive."

[Sharp-edge]

17 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

lol, ironically, i learned some Greek when i was part of a religious culture.

i thought i remembered from other posts you have made that you are Greek?  Wow, that is very cool information about "erastis" and "eromenos."  It's interesting to me to consider the ebb and flow of different cultures. Part of cultural ethnocentricity seems to be each culture seems to consider the current as the most advanced (progressive?), yet in many ways, that just doesn't bear out. When is comes to male with male sex, 'ancient' Greek culture seems a lot more "progressive."

religious culture with greek sounds scary. And ironically, the real greek religion the 12 gods of Olympus are forgotten by some modern greek christians and say that Christianity is the true greek religion.

About the language part you will find many interesting things about the greek language (although I love every language and I  find them intriguing to study, it's just  that greek is a little more interesting).  Interestingly, a right winged politician (who is a historian) says that being gay was not accepted in ancient greece and was not at all common, a fact that disagrees with pretty much all available literature. So modern  greeks can be blind and ancient greeks were more "advanced". And unfortunately all that gay part has vanished from what we are taught in greek with the most profound example of Plato's symposium. We  have a course called "religion" which is taught in each and every class of primary, secondary and high school (12 years) but not a course about philosophy.

Oh and one more thing a bit irrelevant thought. Language has memory. When Efialtes betrayed the Greeks, his name became the word for nightmare. That was to ensure that for all eternity his traitore would never be forgotten.

[NWUSHorny]

I think there is a very good chance they aren't sexually involved with each other. I have a close friend, who is now married with a young family, we have been extremely close since high school almost 40 years ago. We have been roommates several times in the past and did almost everything together when we were but have lived more than a 1000 miles apart for almost 25 years, we always remain in close contact with each other, attended all of each other's major life events, and both of us have hopped on a flight to support each other in times of need. There has never even been a suggestion of a sexual relationship between us, the best description I can come up with is he is a non-biological brother. I'm even certain that if one of us missed one of the others life events our biological families would be calling to find out why we weren't there. I suspect the 2 doctors have a similar relationship, it has absolutely nothing to do with their sexuality.

Since I'm bi, I would not discount the possibility that one or both of them is as well.

Edited July 27, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[DarkroomTaker]

Ok, i'll bite. My male friend since being 10 is a bloke i love dearly, same him for me, we grew together, holidayed together, share beds, spooned, even shared bath water!!.

We always say love you to each other, we hug, kiss each other on going away, not passionately.

I have supported him through his marriages, best Man and divorces, looked after his kids at times when he worked. I cannot imagine life without him init.

He supported me through gay break ups, when we were out, he'd point to a guy saying how handsome he was, go chat him up etc, me the same for him with women.

Quite a few years back, he had a bad motorbike accident and it did not look good for him, I was beside myself with pain of the thought of losing him, the pain made me ill.

He got better, I brought him home to my house, hoisted, bathed, toiletted him, personal washing him etc till he got better.

Sex, no way, he is my best bud, straight as a nail, We love each other and would put our lives for each other, sexual relationship never ever.

This to me is Bromance, but also a Soulmance, he is my soul mate.

You dont have to be in a sexual relationship, to be in a loving relationship.

[DarkroomTaker]

26 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

I think there is a very good chance they aren't sexually involved with each other. I have a close friend, who is now married with a young family, of almost 40 years, we have been roommates several times in the past and did almost everything together when we were but have lived more than a 1000 miles apart for almost 25 years, we always remain in close contact with each other, attended all of each other's major life events, and both of us have hopped on a flight to support each other in times of need. There has never even been a suggestion of a sexual relationship between us, the best description I can come up with is he is a non-biological brother. I'm even certaint that if one of us missed one of the others life events our biological families would be calling to find out why we weren't there. I suspect the 2 doctors have a similar relationship, it has absolutely nothing to do with their sexuality.

Exactly NW, I get this ^

[Piggyybttmm]

Hell, I'm honestly kinda jealous. Their relationship sounds beautiful. I'd love something like that. 

But How do you not think bi people exist? Sexuality is such a spectrum. Honestly I think nobody is strictly gay/straight.  Personally I consider myself gay as men is really all I date and have sex with, but there's plenty of women that I find incredibly attractive and that's made me consider a bit. 

 

 

 

 

 

[hntnhole]

On 7/27/2022 at 1:19 PM, Sharp-edge said:

modern greek christians and say that Christianity is the true greek religion.

That propensity is hardly limited to Greek Christians.  It seems that "Christians" world-wide seem to think they know better than anyone else, and about every possible facet of human existence.  However, as the old saying goes:  Pride goeth before the fall.  Hopefully sooner than later. 

[tallslenderguy]

16 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

That propensity is hardly limited to Greek Christians.  It seems that "Christians" world-wide seem to think they know better than anyone else, and about every possible facet of human existence.  However, as the old saying goes:  Pride goeth before the fall.  Hopefully sooner than later. 

Right? i think the impediment is fundamentalism, whether it's christian, islam, judaism, they all have fundamentalist sects, and those are the guys that end up putting gays in jail or flying jets into buildings. They remove their "self" from the equation and manage to think and operate as though somehow they know what "God" thinks and wants. It's a really weird detach, but they are convinced we just have not seen as they have. 

i think they "fall" all the time, really, that their attitude is fallen, they just don't see it. 

[BlindRawFucker1]

I have talked about this with my best, straight friend of over 40 years.

 

Our relationship is stronger than just friends.  It is even more than brotherly.  We feel it is somewhere between brotherly and romantic.

 

The thought of sex with him is totally stomach turning.  However, we hug and tell the other we love him without hesitation.

 

We’ve been there when it matters, even if it is only just by phone.

 

We’ve attended conferences together, and walk around in our room naked with each other.  No big deal.

 

I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.  I know he feels the same way.

 

So, yes, bromance is a real thing and can’t be denied.

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i think the impediment is fundamentalism

Well put.  Even when a clearly humanistic message is brought forth, it gradually gets perverted into a fundamentalist message - which is far easier to live down to than the original, inspirational message is to live up to.  Here in the US, there are millions who have been taught this gradually dissolving humanistic, uplifting message into a carved-in-stone set of intractable rules by almighty Gawd.  Admittedly, the Universal Message is at once extremely simple, and yet almost impossibly difficult.  So difficult, in fact, that it becomes far, far easier to follow the rules as set forth by crafty, "noisy gongs" like Jim and Tammy - the Queen of the running eye-paint.  Like Franklin Graham, whose riding the wave of selfishness disguised as a religion, and on and on and on.  The best thing to come out of the whole Billy/Franklin carnival show was Ethyl Waters croaking her way through His Eye is on the Sparrow.  How do these people dare to claim to speak for the Unimaginable?  

To those who actually believe that Gawd Almighty has forbidden abortion, that life begins the moment the load is pumped in, I say:  Don't like abortion?  Don't have one then.  And keep your long, pointy noses out of your neighbors pants.  To those who believe that marriage can only be between opposite genders, I say: Don't like gay marriage?  Don't marry one then.  And keep your long, pointy noses out of your neighbors pants.  Or, as a certain someone more sublimely put it: Pull the log out of your own eye before you worry about the speck in other peoples eyes.  

It's not just a universal of fundamentalist religions, either.  Nationalism can foment the same kind of myopia in a population.  Take the centuries-long hatred of the Jewish People, for instance.  Why hate our Jewish brothers and sisters?  Because "they" killed Jesus?  What a laughably insane notion, yet it is espoused by so-called "christians" the world over.  Tell folks that if they do x,y, and z, hate who they're told to hate, cough up the dough each Sunday, they'll fly off to cloud-cuckoo-land one day and be clothed in jewels, blah blah blah.  Like that's going to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, house the homeless, comfort the sick.  

One of the worst human characteristics, in my view, is embracing "Willful Ignorance".  Or, to put another name on it, Fundamentalism - of whatever stripe.  Willful ignorance, choosing to remain ignorant is nothing short of enraging.  Rejecting our intelligence, our powers of reason, in favor of willful ignorance is nothing short of anti-human. 

[PG1961Canada]

On 7/26/2022 at 6:54 PM, MadnessNZ said:

.... I've always put it that what is between your legs is less important than what is between your ears.....

Love this comment.  I am also pansexual.  Was partnered with a woman for years.  Divorced.  Partnered with a man for years.  I haven't quite had the range of partners you have (good on you btw!!! Very flexible... I like that as well), but I have had many MF, MMF, MFM, etc etc... but really... I look at this as having many great friends of all persuasions - and forget the darn labels.  We enjoy what's between the ears first.... everything else makes sense from that point forward.  Regardless of anatomy.

By absolute best friend and Brother from another Mother CHOSE one another.  We worked hard in different areas of the same company, and enjoyed successful careers.  We also raised our families (similar in age) together and have survived all those family 'events' that happen.  He is Uncle D and I am Uncle M.  Wives (and husbands in my case) have come and gone.  We are deeply respectful of one another.  We have the same warped sense of humour.  We have similar upbringings and used that as a basis to provide guidance to our kids.  I love the guy to death.  Would NEVER have sex with him.  In fact, just last week he called and said his daughter had taken possession of a new (used) home and he was looking to crash on a blow up mattress on my floor.  In 4 hours.  Could I put him up?

We slept in the same bed for a week (puppy stretched out between us).  We shared meals at the end of his reno-days.  We shared good scotch.  We had hot tubs.  And we made plans to chill out and go fishing.

His wife said... "you are always so happy when you and your buddy are together".  His reply was "we enjoy one another's company".  for 30 years now.

His daughter jokingly commented to me... "you and my Dad should get married.  You two seem to be the only ones who can get along".  And we laughed and laughed.  I love that his kids don't really give a shit.  They are happy to see their Dad (and Uncle M) always happy together.

We are two brothers who 'chose' one another and love one another.  We tell one another this regularly.  We know ALL the deep dark secrets.  And we STILL love one another.  It's pretty deep.  I guess some would indeed call it a bromance.  But we are happy just the way we are for 30 years now.

Great discussion guys... I loved this one. Cheers