Open Relationships

[Guest]

Who here has a partner and is in an open relationship? How do you guys do it and how did you bring the subject up to your significant other? 

[Bokkierob]

I (54) have an open relationship with my boy, Drew (23). Our relationship is purely physical. We’re both horny 24/7. We don’t get jealous. If I come home to find another Daddy nutting in Drew’s ass I watch until he’s shot his load then I fuck my load up Drew’s wet hole. Same goes if I’m fucking one of Drew’s mates, he will join in. We share a bed and yeah, I breed him most days but we also group fuck at least once a week. I love watching other men breed Drew's ass.

[NordicBtm]

2 hours ago, Bokkierob said:

I (54) have an open relationship with my boy, Drew (23). Our relationship is purely physical. We’re both horny 24/7. We don’t get jealous. If I come home to find another Daddy nutting in Drew’s ass I watch until he’s shot his load then I fuck my load up Drew’s wet hole. Same goes if I’m fucking one of Drew’s mates, he will join in. We share a bed and yeah, I breed him most days but we also group fuck at least once a week. I love watching other men breed Drew's ass.

You’re my idol 😁😘😈🐽

[NordicBtm]

I have an open relationship but I’m the pig in the relationship. He doesn’t mind it and loves to fuck my wet hole but also he’s super jealous so it’s difficult.

an intermediate solution is for me to take sex trips a few times a year and then it can be a bit “don’t ask don’t tell”.

we also go together to darkrooms and sex clubs and I try to encourage him to fuck others but he mostly just gets sucked and likes to fuck my hole full of cum.

[anonCUMtainer]

This is a good question @Danny74 however, there is no easy way (or answer).

Open relationship does NOT equal getting or having sex anytime you want. Search the forums, there are so many in this community who have shared their story and the depth and breadth of these stories may or may not provide you any insight but they are all worth the read and will raise aspects you had likely not considered.

It also depends entirely on the dynamics of the person with whom you are negotiating with. Where does the good will and/or the jealousy begin and end? HINT: It is never where you think or where they claim it is or will be either - but it's there. 

One of you will likely always feel like you have to ask the other to make time and space for the other to have sex... unless you make a rule to always play together. It's never fun to bring up as it usually places stressors on other already frayed aspects of any relationship.

Good luck!!

[tallslenderguy]

Society is mostly heteronormative, and a big part of that is what's become the 'traditiona' notion of intimate relationship: i.e. marriage, monogamy.  Society, and the dominant cultures like religions, set the tone for everyone whether it fits or not.  Individuals can choose to try and conform to "the norm" or one can custom make a relationship that fits who they actually are, not who society presumes everyone should be. 

As i see it, relationship should be custom made by the individuals involved, based on who and how each is. That requires self knowledge, the ability to articulate that  knowledge and the willingness to risk openness, vulnerability. 

1. Know who you are, your most vital wants/needs

2. Learn how to express and explain those wants/needs.

3. Find someone else who does one and two and is the Yang to your yin, or vice versa. 

[Guest]

Communication. Honesty. Respect. Understanding. Love. Openness. Free will. Friendship. Loyalty.

We've been together for three decades now. Open from the very first day. Laid down the limits and agreed to a few ground rules. Each couple has its own dynamic. However, the ingredients mentioned above are key to a healthy and long lasting partnership. 

If couples are honest about their wants, needs, desires, it's up to them to figure it out how to make it work. The trick is to find the one who has the same set of values as you. 

But communication, honesty and respect are paramount. If you can't be honest with your partner about your likes, wants, desires then the partnership will fail sooner or later. Hiding things, lies, cheating, betrayals are all easy to surface. 

 

 

[JamesL100]

The human condition seems that singles want a relationship then those attached want to play the field.
I would say it's so difficult to find a partner that you should respect the relationship. I hate cheating.
But I am happy if open-ness is discussed and agreed. Or even 3ways, cruising, saunas etc 😎 

[RubberAustria]

It is difficult to find a definition. If you go to sex-clubs together and play around with others is it an open relationship? For me that‘s the perfect relationship. Had it… but cheating ruined it. So I should consider a new way for a future relationship or stay a single boy whoring around.😇

[bitchpigbottom]

I had an ex that wanted to be open and then started talking about bringing his regulars into our relationship as a thruple.  I really wasn't much into sharing but did it since he really wanted it.  I think this was the beginning of the end for us.  It wasn't long before we separated after 11 years together.  I think the important thing is communication.  Everyone is different but if you're both on the same page, open and honest, I think it's doable.  

[hntnhole]

I've described my own experience in other threads, so I'll just summarize here:

1.  Be sure that sex isn't the only interest you and he have in common.  There needs to be common interests other than sex; activism, love of the arts, community affairs, reading, love of fast cars, sailing, exercise, pets, cooking, literature, almost anything that isn't focused on sex.  The more in common (other than sex) the better.  

2.  Hopefully there will also be common values, such as awareness of the need to help the downtrodden, and mutual desire to "make it a better world", in whatever way seems best for both of you.  

3.  Always treat him fairly.  Always be honest (except for surprise birthday presents, etc), even if you're tempted not to be.  Keep the old saying in mind: "Putting him first keeps me first".  

4.  The above are a few things that are the "cement" that holds any pair of human beings together.  In the case of gay men that also love wanton sex, try like hell never lie to him, and if you do, get it off your chest before he figures it out.  If he's not ready to have an "open" relationship, give him the room he needs.  

I had just over 30 years of the most wonderful relationship I could imagine.  We did almost everything together, supported each other in various endeavors, and I will miss him until I cash it in too.  And, we were both total pigs - both together and separately - but that was always of secondary importance to our love for each other.  There's only room for one "most important thing" in anyone's life, so make that one thing your love for your "other half", and the rest will follow of it's own accord.

My best wishes to you both.

[suolsu]

My first two serious boyfriends and I were in an open relationship, it was natural for both of us.

[Guest]

Thank you to everyone who’s responded to my question so far. All the comments/feedback have been super insightful and I appreciate it.

[Cutedelicategay]

I find this discussion a bit redundant. It's not about the norm set by big "people". It is very common sense. When in an intimate relationship one not only shares sex but also psychology. Stay committed to the individual. If you aren't able to get what you want from that person then you shouldn't be in a relationship with them. I would rather stay single and enjoy whoever I want without open relationship discussion and more stressor. 

[blackrobe]

In my experience, understanding how and why open relationships can work and might even be essential for some people is something that is more likely to happen the more life you live. Changes in needs and desires, illness, incapacity, etc. aren't things anyone plans on, but they do happen. Once it does, how do you move forward with someone you love? You find a way, and open relationships are one strategy.

I prefer to give people the space to decide what works for them and not judge them once they do.