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I actually got banned from A4A when I was stuck in Portland for several weeks in a row a couple of years ago, For being offensive I can only assume it was because I was very forward about looking to hookup and actually fuck.

I'm not taking a shower just to suck some dick. Please! haha I also feel like "oral only" is a lie....so yo uhave to prepare just the same. I can jerk off in 30 seconds to some porn versus spending however long trying to find a BJ. heck no! 🙂

The general ones I was thinking of are Fetlife and Recon, on the cuddling side, pun intended, Cuddlelist, CuddleComfort, and a lot of local cuddle clubs that I have intentionally blocked the names of from my mind, that have online tools for their members. That's what it was supposed to be, but not what I've observed in Portland. It is almost exclusively ads for guys looking for a party buddy and maybe JO, or guys who list their sexual position as a HJ top (I had to Google it after seeing it 10 or 20 times). I'm not sure how much luck you would have finding a dick to suck, but you could find plenty of guys looking to suck your dick on Grindr, Growlr, BBRT, Sniffies (once you sift through all the cuddler profiles, what's left are cocksuckers) and Squirt. Squirt isn't very active, but probably has the highest % of guys that are willing to entertain the notion of fucking. That said, I use most of the general hookup sites some when I travel.

WAIT! A4A has become ChristianMingle for people looking for LTR? That's insane to me - that's not what it was like in the years gone by. In the BURBS, Sniffies was good for commuters and married guys. Quick pump/dump scenarios . Wasn't DoubleList supposed to be the Craigslist M4M replacement? What are the fetish sites you mention? Also, I agree. With my dick healing for the PA upsize, my friend was like "you should just be sucking a ton of dick." First of all, I didn't think people still went online just to suck dick...seems like a ton of trouble.

Someone needs to start a hookup site that is explicitly geared toward guys who fuck and get fucked. There has been a proliferation of hookup sites for kinks and activities that aren't fucking, but none that I know of for that are explicitly for fucking. In areas where it is difficult to find guys who like to fuck the general hookup sites get quickly overrun with guys looking for anything and everything put a guy looking and willing to fuck. Locally for me Sniffies seems to be primarily for guys looking for a cuddle buddy Doublelist is for guys looking to hang out and party without doing anything sexual. A4A is like the gay Christianmingle with every one seeking LTRs. Most of the rest are for guys seeking oral only with 95% of them being oral only committed total "bottoms".

Do NOT Do the Blue pills with poppers. An adult theater near me had to haul out a dead body because of that. Lowers the blood pressure too much.

If you have a good relationship with your Dr ….. talk with them. …. Maybe they know a type of ED drug that can be used with poppers ….. or provide alternatives …. but please….. get advice from a professional…. Safer that way…..

I don't think bare backing is about depression, in particular. Bug chasing to me is another [banned word], and those fuel sexual fantasies. I'm a bottom and I love to lick ass, which some people think is crazy. DOESN'T STOP ME!

It’s funny the times I have gotten fucked from The Blowers have been GREAT fucks, but they are not that often. I actually love giving head, so I’ll jump on here and there when I need some dick stink in my face. Plus, living in NYC I get some good tourist dick off the app.

Poppers + TriMix if you're a bottom who likes poppers. I don't have strong feelings about them so it's not a consideration. TriMix is now, enduring, and effortless.

Take the pills, and sniff while you jerk off.

....like what would a gay man call another gay man as a derogatory insult? Our insults are the same as our complements according to AI Here are some of the most commonly used terms that gay men sometimes direct at other gay men in a derogatory, mocking, or insulting way (especially within the community itself). These often stem from internalized homophobia, femmephobia (disdain for femininity), or body-type/age/status hierarchies in gay culture. Many of these words can be affectionate, playful, or reclaimed in friendly contexts among close friends, but they turn sharp/insulting very quickly when used with bad intent, to shame, or to put someone down. Common internal insults / derogatory labels Queen (or "bitchy queen") → Often used to mock someone perceived as overly dramatic, catty, entitled, or stereotypically flamboyant. ("Stop being such a queen" = stop being dramatic/diva-ish.) Bitch → Very frequently thrown around as a general insult ("What a bitch," "That bitch," etc.), especially to imply pettiness, meanness, or attitude. Fem / Feminine / Femme (as an insult) → Used to shame men for being "too feminine" in voice, mannerisms, interests, or appearance. Frequently tied to "no fats, no fems" dating profiles. Twink (derogatory sense) → Originally just means young/slim/hairless, but often used to imply shallow, stupid, immature, or "only good for looks." Bottom / Bottom energy (as an insult) → Mocking someone for being perceived as sexually submissive/passive, implying weakness or "less manly." Flamer / Flaming → Derogatory for very effeminate or obviously gay presentation. Mary / Marys → Old-school camp term sometimes used mockingly for effeminate or gossipy gay men. Not like other gays / "Straight-acting" superiority → Not a single word, but a whole attitude/insult category where masculine-presenting men put down anyone more visibly gay/feminine. Important context notes (2025–2026 vibe): Femmephobia remains one of the most persistent forms of prejudice inside gay male spaces — many gay men still weaponize femininity as the ultimate insult. Dating/hookup apps and social media comments are where these terms most frequently appear as straight-up insults. The same word can be loving banter between friends one minute ("Yaaas queen, work bitch!") and a cutting insult the next ("You're such a messy queen"). Language in the community is fluid and context-dependent — tone, relationship, and intent matter enormously. What slays in one group can genuinely hurt in another.

I've frequently responded "you bet your ass I am...."

Any suggestions for place to stay? Looking for hotel or apartment with easy access. Prefer blindfolded and open doors, no loads refused

I've probably responded to this thread at some point past, so I'll just say that I like guys that don't look like me. It's not that it's a "hard limit" - I just don't find guys that look like me sexy. Grew up in a city full of guys that look like me - yawn.

Never say never. I never thought even in my widest dreams to earn this status. It wasn’t a goal ever. Okay when I was on the previous level I wanted it. But before that I just was here and read, commented, reacted, shared my widest and dirtiest desires and experiences and met a supportive community. Even though I’m not only-in-a-virtual-space-living person, and I have real human connections and amazing and supportive friends, BZ became an important part of my life. So, it just happened. But it feels fckn good.

Welcome, new members, and Happy Breeding in the New Year. Be sure to write and tell us all about it !!

I've been called every name that might possibly carry a negative connotation - and it hasn't impressed me one iota. Occasionally, I've even thanked the jerk for the compliment. It couldn't matter less to me.