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Even if you were bi or straight, would you prefer seeing fucking done by hard cocks or flaccid ones? 🤣🤣

I was 13, summertime at home with my dad. Sister and Mom where out shopping and he put on one his straight porn videos and we both watched. I was uncomfortable, getting a hardon in front of my dad…I was so hot and horny watching this big cocks breeding those pussies and cum squirting everywhere. I don’t know why my dad had me watch, I guess he was just a horny dude and maybe trying to see if I was turned on by straight sex. Honestly, I was totally turned on by the big cocks and wished I was getting fuckedby those hot men. It cemented my desire for gay sex. Later on, when everyone was gone, I’d sneak into my parent’s room and find the videotape and watch it while masterbating. I’d have to be careful to rewind it back to the same spot as it started so that there wouldn’t be any suspicion of what I was doing.

I always wearing a jock full with seed-piss & beer. feels great wearing it and the smell is even better

Late 90s, first year at Uni when I was 18. We had a computer lab which was 24hr access, and unfiltered. I used to go on IRC chat rooms. Being 18 used to get a few videos sent to me by tops, demonstrating what they'd do to me, and that was my first porn!

Probably around 18 once I was away at school. It was the early 80's ('83) and I took the subway ride up to 42nd & 8th at night. As a suburban kid, this was about as scary as I dared. Went into a video booth with a roll of quarters and began pushing the buttons to see what was on the various selections. The booth I was in brought up some man-to-man porn. Despite having had early experiences, I found it at the time a bit off-putting. It was one of these things where it included 70's porn groove as the soundtrack, but otherwise not memorable.

Oh yes, not the end.....

I'm back from a no loads refused weekend in the woods with the Bears. Inspiration cums in spurts. Enjoy! Rushing out into the Ruckus... I rushed through the exit door to find two of Burt’s guys holding Ralph mostly upside down, spread like a wishbone in the moment before someone makes a wish. Burt had followed close behind but I blurted, I think there might be a misunderstanding? Burt followed up with a question aimed at Ralph: Were we not clear in the instructions to steer clear of Richard after your homophobic flame posts? Ralph was clearly afraid and just shy of a panic attack but some anger and umbrage drove a series of quick responses. No I did not follow him! On the Posts - Yes, I was angry, Yes, I was jealous, Yes I was envious! Gays have it too easy! As soon as those words registered there was a chorus of laughter from the crowd. If anything, Ralph got angrier. You disagree? You can have a relationship, you can have a fling, you can have an anonymous hookup and not even know the other guy’s name! I was told to stay away from you, even when I was reaching out sincerely! Since you are such as Star, I cast about and eventually got what I needed from Artie…. Ralph was starting to continue but I interrupted by asking confusedly Artie? ‘My’ Troll answered from the oddball gathering “that’s me Hollywood”! You are on a first name basis with the Troll? Ralph’s fear had dissipated, but his umbrage had remained. “Don’t you think that sounds a little prejudiced even for you?” As I realized just how bad that sounded the reverberations of this situation became clear(er). You and your ‘movers’ had made it clear I was not going to get any help from you. These toilets were online as cruise areas, am I barred from here as well? No, I blurted, but then added, wait – how long have you been at this? Ralph replied “ever since I was turned down by my roommate after begged for an understanding shoulder to cry on and a helping hand in getting off. I shouted a retort - I may have just pozzed you! I was counting back and said out loud, 'not knowing the status of who you have played with, it still might work out if you get on a Post Exposure Prophylaxis regimen within the next couple of days'. I was interrupted by Ralph – You are not getting it! You/We 'gays' all have it too easy, I was thinking I could go for some easy as well! The words I had been going to say vanished like smoke. I plinked and turned to Burt, this is really weird but look, he drove here and I did not even necessarily plan to come here on the running trail. Voicing my concerns to Adam were spot on, there (was) something odd, or off, but it was just an uncomfortable topic that blew up due to my not understanding. I turned to Ralph and said I was sorry, really sorry, what can I do to make it up to you? I continued – If you were not Pozzed before, you very well could have been Pozzed today. I am still pretty toxic on multiple fronts it appears. Do you want to go to the clinic? Ralph responded “Fuck No! Loose everything I have gained? Everything I have honestly EARNED? I leaned in and kissed him while forgetting very recent events. Whew, we need to get rid of that brown lipstick. If you come with us, we can show you the ropes so to speak. After a quick consult with Burt, I was driving Ralph to the basement where Burt had so recently sent me through a crash course in Fuck U Studies. Ralph was still experiencing an occasional shake or shudder as he came off of his adrenaline rush. It was still late afternoon when we arrived at Burts and we led Ralph downstairs and told him to strip. Ralph was plain and ordinary in the face; he was not ripped but thin enough so that his ab muscles would peep out defined when he was at certain angles or when bending over. His ass – seen now in a new light despite the darkness of the dungeon looked fuckable enough. We lifted him into the sling and strapped him in which had him looking worried again. You’ll not find any squeaky clean flower arranging gay guys here, but some things are set into stone. If you put a skidmark on a gay man’s white sofa, he will quite probably hurt you. He stuck his pierced semi-hard dick in head deep and pushed a little farther. Ralphs eyes got wider as his raw hole felt Burt's PA worming through, then felt the crystal burn of Burts Chem Piss reacting with Ralph’s dirty end. Burt continued - funny thing about the early days of AIDS, a lot of researchers initially jumped to absurd conclusions but sometimes got the answer right. Your little pucker looked pretty raw, but solid waste can trap precious DNA from making its way towards impregnation. Our little group was growing by the sounds of boots on the stairs comments of encouragement from the gathering crowd, the froth spurt sounds from the beer tap at each pull of a pint. I downed an Electrolyte/G Mix and climbed into the neighboring sling. While my ass knew everyone’s cock intimately, one of Burt’s crew whose name I could not remember put on a strap and prepped me for a single point Slam. Burt was finished with Ralph’s internal golden douching instructing him to keep his hole clamped shut and slowly pulled out. I was coughing as my slam was completed and when that fit stopped I was handed a regular unmarked water bottle. Which I downed with a guzzle. Another of Burt’s crew stepped up to continue the piss enema in Ralph as I was starting my flight. I felt a fondling and my dick which had started to get hard before the slam had been in that semi-hard state as if it could not make up its mind. A catheter was inserted down my piss tube and attached to an infusion pump rig with an empty IV Bag. An IV needle was inserted and taped into a vein and a saline drip started. I must have been dehydrated by the Athletic Department shift, my run, the toilet dramas and the heat stress because I immediately felt better but was also pretty high realizing my relative inexperience and my short history with Crystal. I was eventually aware of Ralph being told to push out the contents of his guts which he complied with. Another cycle was performed with a water doucher spraying his insides for another cycle of cleanout which was also expelled into the tub. Burt told Ralph normally we would brush you up with a toothbrush or something else but your raw hole looks prepped already. No half measures Ralph exclaimed! Really? Burt asked, ok, let’s see what we have and he started pulling open drawers to an industrial toolbox. Burt removed a bottle brush and ran his fingers along the bristles – Looks soft, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. Plus, we have some icing to go with it up your other cakehole. Burt dipped it in a goo filled jar, cupped his hand under it during removal and shoved it into Ralphs cunt electing a scream from Ralph. Burt continued sliding it in and Ralph was moaning it burns! Burt did a twist on his outstroke and repeated the cycle a few times. Burt said don’t be a crybaby, a friend of mine used to use Jalapeno ketchup as lube because he liked the reaction of the boys writhing on his dick as well as the visuals. Here, sip this and Ralph was offered a G laced water bottle to drug up his other end. Let’s let this cook for a bit and Burt turned away from the boy who acted as if he was grabbing for butterflies with his asshole. It was quite a solo sling dance as his hole became a hungry Beggar. Meanwhile I was being milked for my chempiss with side dishes and treats including another point slam, a J-Lube Frozen buttercup laced with Tina. As it was consumed in the fires of my rectum, my ass convulsed with reactions which increased as the puck melted and released more Crystal, releasing more burn. The kegger group was alternating Beer, Pipe and other stuff and some more boots could be heard on the stairs. A line started for Ralph where the first guy said, let me help scratch that itch for you and hilted himself in Ralphs red hole. As the line defined, another line started for me. One of Burt’s Lieutenants came up to the bottom of my sling and as he rammed his cock in said “You are a good trouble-maker and catastrophe catcher if I ever saw one” as he started a rough fuck. While Ralph and I hosted dozens of cocks, I eventually came to the realization that I was being fucked by Adam. As I was still flying, I think what he said was Bro, do you need to bring home every stray you find? I responded, “what is this little brother? You’re not filming?” He leaned in close and said – of course I am! We have streaming cameras that are recording anytime the dungeon is in use. Then he leaned back and went to town. Prior to this, with all my [banned word] thoughts, I would have never considered the ramifications of orgasm or overstimulation with a catheter in place; my mind was blown and I passed out.

You find the video here: [think before following links] https://thegay.com/videos/874113/british-bareback-vacation/ And the story about the HIV pozzing scandal here: [think before following links] https://curiouschaser.com/multiple-models-infected-with-hiv-filming-a-british-bareback-porn-movie/

Tuesday night which is naked night. Over 100 guys.

It's a common affliction known as helium heels.

$175 USD per ticket for bottoms?

I really like the scene about Jason wearing a jock and being sent through the club

Great plot line and well written. Sign me up for that hotel!

I live in São Paulo. NEG looking to be infected. Telegram: lktgsm

Pool table? [EG]

With Dad’s flat done, Gheorghe moved on to starting work on ours. He had been really impressed with Dad’s attention to detail on the painting they did together, and as a result my father now had a job for the first time since the factory closed. By that point Bret had also noticed the spark between Dad and Gheorghe, and had also benefited from Justin giving his thoughts on it all. We weren’t sure about K&K, and agreed to only talk to them about it if things did seem to be moving in that direction. We agreed a plan for dealing with the flat, ploughing a load of the money from Stan and Winston’s life insurance into it to just do it properly now that we had confirmation from the Council that we could stay. The bathroom was the most difficult part of it, and we decided that while it was out of use we would have to live elsewhere. Justin had come out to his mum, and she was actually happy to find out he was with Bret as he had always been nice to her as a teenager even if he was a bastard to the rest of us. She said it was fine for the two of them to stay in Justin’s room at her flat, and while I did get a little pang of jealousy at that, they assured me they would still give me plenty of attention the rest of the time. The rest of us would stay at Dad’s, with the twins bunking in together in the guest bedroom and me sleeping on the sofabed. Pavel and Jonas were also a little huffy about this, so more promises of rampant sex during the day had to be made there too. The Moldovans would be working on our place, alongside subcontractors for the plumbing and a few other jobs. Gheorghe’s new guys were called Bogdan and Mihai, and they both just oozed sex with their tight muscled bodies, angular jawlines and shaved heads. They did sort of look a bit alike, but not so much that they appeared related and more that it was like they’d just come off the same hunky sex god production line. They were unashamed in every way, and it was really fucking appealing. With Justin and Bret being less available to me for a while, I was quite happy to instead go round to check on the work regularly and then be vigorously spit-roasted by the pair of poz studs while I was there. I also got plenty of opportunities to unload in their eager holes, though we had to make sure not too much time was wasted as there was actual work to be done. On one occasion I went round to be there for the delivery of the components for the shower cubicle we were having installed, only to find it had arrived early. The Moldovans had taken care of it, and they were now taking care of the delivery driver too. The biohazard on the guy’s right buttock at least reassured me he was willing, as I watched him swallow Mihai’s full length while Bogdan ploughed his arse. I took some video and sent it to Grant, suggesting he may want to meet them as they would be a hit on camera. I didn’t think the driver would do too badly either, as not only was he clearly a great bottom but it looked like he was packing. I sent Grant a follow-up message a little while later to confirm the guy was a good top, while he ploughed me over the kitchen counter. That counter was ripped out the next day, as we had managed to line up a company to install a new kitchen while the bathroom was being done. Mrs Harden next door was happy to let the workmen use her bathroom if they needed to in exchange for help replacing the lino in her bathroom, which I paid for and got the Moldovans to do once we had a working bathroom of our own again. Even with just those two rooms done, the flat felt so much nicer to be in. We then worked on each bedroom in turn, pulling up the carpets, stripping all the wallpaper and chucking all the furniture. We did the biggest of them first, and then got it redecorated, built-in wardrobes added, and a new super king size bed installed. That allowed the twins to move back in, and Pavel and Jonas finally left their flat share and permanently became part of our household. We did my old room next, and once that was done Bret and Justin came back and we got it set up for the three of us to live in together. The twins’ old room was last, and took the most thinking to work out how to make it more than a dumping ground with a spare bed. That left the lounge, and it was pretty momentous when we finally got rid of the crappy old suite and replaced it with a set of sofas and chairs that rather filled the room but ensured there would be enough seats for our rather overcrowded household. The Moldovans were making full use of us all by then, with Justin and Bret in particular finding themselves getting fucked regularly. Will got wind of what was on offer and came over a lot, to the point where we had to ask him to save it for the end of the working day so we had some hope of the decorating getting finished. He had basically come out, but did not feel comfortable getting any action at home and was now starting to think about finding somewhere else to live even though it would leave him with little disposable income. I think he had been gunning for an offer to move into our guest room or even the one at Dad’s new flat, but the latter was not a good idea and we were already bursting at the seams with seven of us in our place. An opportunity finally arose when Justin’s colleague James announced at work that he was looking for a roommate as the guy he lived with, another cop from a different station, had moved out to live with his girlfriend. The two knew each other from training and had managed to get the flat over on the Challen estate from the Council as they were key workers, meaning the rent was much lower than anything on the private market. This was perfect for Will as he wasn’t pulling in that much at the gym, though he hoped he might be able to supplement it through Grant or maybe his own fan account. Justin introduced the two of them, and within a couple of days our friend was out of his family flat. Shortly after that, Will brought James along to the pub to meet us all and it was obvious to everyone that the two of them were already fucking. James had a ‘hot nerd’ quality about him, being well muscled but also kind of shy and seemed to hide a bit behind his glasses and fringe. You would not have thought he was a cop, but then again most of them weren’t tall musclebound gods like Justin. James’s arse was particularly noticeable packed into his jeans, and after he’d loosened up on a few drinks, he admitted that he was actually not straight at all and instead something of a cumdump bottom. His previous housemate had bred him pretty much every day, before one day having a freak out after the two of them had kissed in the heat of the moment. He was now off pretending to be completely straight with his girlfriend, but James had landed on his feet (or rather his hands and knees) with Will. “I haven’t unpacked a single fucking thing” Will laughed. “If I’m not at work or the gym, I’m balls-deep in this guy.” James had never bothered to go on prep with his old housemate, but he was relaxed and indeed turned on about the fact he was now taking a lot of poz cum every day. He had seen the symbols inked onto Justin in the station’s changing room, and got very turned on by what it had told him about his hunky colleague. Indeed, catching a glimpse of Will’s own ink when they had first been introduced was at least partly behind the speed at which the fucking had begun on moving-in day. Justin was a little wide-eyed throughout these revelations, and Bret decided to have some fun with it by seeing how James felt about expanding his horizons a bit. The hungry smile he got in response was all he needed, and I soon had to show the two of them the spot behind the bins I had so often used with Stan and Winston. James eagerly took a rough breeding from each of us, and over the course of the rest of the evening while I was working behind the bar, he regularly disappeared from the table with one or two of our group at a time. I of course always took out any rubbish or recycling that needed shifting from the bar to avoid any incidents, always stopping for a minute or two to watch James getting fucked by whoever had gone off with him. I suspected it was a bit of a moment for the guy when Justin finally fucked him, the tail end of which I caught when I went out there for a cigarette break. That said, James might even have got off more on Bret and Will joining them, and Justin ending up bent over with my brother fucking him hard while the two housemates rutted again next to them. Will and James came round to ours after, and we ended up having a full-on orgy in the lounge. James was a bottom throughout, and Will mostly was as well. Everyone else happily took on both roles, with a bit more freedom between relationships in the flat than there had been for a while. For instance, Me and Bret both took very satisfying breedings from Pavel and Jonas, who repeatedly alternated between our holes until they finally blew. The twins, meanwhile, double-fucked Justin not once but twice. This brought on another extended period of his hole going crazy that we had to deal with for several days afterwards, but for the rest of the orgy that night if he wasn’t being fucked then he was ramming himself with a big dildo while pounding into whichever hole was in front of him at that point. The birds were singing in the trees outside before we all collapsed into the various beds, and James was a very happy fucked-out mess in the morning. Over the next couple of days I introduced James to the old park toilets, but we also went to explore a sauna neither of us had been to as part of getting to know each other. It was clean and modern which did not fill me with hope, but actually this was all window dressing as the activities that went on inside were just what James needed to keep himself satisfied when Will wasn’t around. I still kind of preferred the depravity and risk of the toilets, but with his cleaner cut looks and ink-free body, I had to admit that the posh sauna just seemed a better fit for James. He took Will there too when their shift schedules finally synced up, and they both gushed about how many loads they’d taken when we saw them the next day. Grant had been working on preparations for another film he wanted to do, this time with only Justin and Bret. The military theme was back again, but this time they would both be playing SAS officers hiding behind enemy lines who get discovered by a squadron of hostile troops. It was to involve some outdoor nighttime shooting for the set-up, and then a relocation to a barn where the troops would use the two unfortunate British officers however they saw fit. A large amount of costumes and equipment had needed to be sourced, and Grant spent more time casting than normal so that the opposing troops appeared like a vaguely coherent group. Pavel and Jonas were actually recruited to be part of this, with the other members of the squadron being a mix of guys who had come to the UK from the Baltic states, Ukraine and Georgia, all of whom spoke Russian to some degree. Grant wanted dialogue between those troops to be authentic and use subtitles, and then for broken English to be used when talking to the prisoners. Anyway, the overnight stuff was filmed on the Sunday evening on a farm outside the city, and then they used a barn at the same farm the next night for the rest of it. Justin and Bret were subjected to staged interrogation and humiliation, and then had to play initially unwilling participants in a gangbang enacted by the sadistic foreign soldiers. I got to go along to watch the second scene, as the farmer who was allowing Grant to use his facilities wanted only a plaything for the night as payment and I was of course on my night off from the pub. I had assumed this meant I would be riding his cock the whole time, but he wanted to be fucked as much as he wanted to pound me, and turned out to be an inexperienced chaser just beginning to embrace who he was after his wife had left him. He was a nice guy, and I actually spent some more nights with him at the farm over the next few months as I kind of liked helping him begin a new chapter even as he approached his 60th birthday. Anyway, Bret and Justin were as excellent as always, being really convincing as scared but defiant prisoners who gradually succumb to the enjoyment of what is being done to them. They kept tight black long-sleeved T-shirts on throughout to hide their poz-themed ink, with the film focusing on its storyline rather than straying into anything to do with all that. Still, I knew that many of the guys Grant had assembled were neg, some even claimed to be straight, but they were up for the risk of fucking the poz hunks while also dipping their dicks into toxic loads left behind by the likes of Pavel and Jonas. It was seriously hot, and I made sure with Grant that he would hook us up with any of them who might be interested in doing it some more or even bottoming. Grant took Justin and Bret home after it had all wrapped up, the two guys being completely spent after taking so many fucks. I was spending the night there to carry on the sex with the farmer, and then he drove me back to town the next day. I had got a notification about a delivery for Dad randomly going to a locker near the petrol station, so I got him to pause the car there while I picked it up and then he dropped me over that side of the estate. I went up in the lift and then let myself in, but stopped in my tracks when I heard Dad moaning from his bedroom. For a split second I thought he was having some sort of relapse episode or something, but when I also heard Gheorghe’s unmistakable growl I realised what was happening. The Romanian was like two different men depending on which role he was taking on during sex, and the one I could now hear was the girthy-dicked animalistic top. My father was being fucked, of that much I was sure, and as I stood rooted to the ground with the front door still open I heard the words that confirmed it for me. “You want my load?” Gheorghe growled. “Yes!” my dad whined. “You want my poz load?” “Oh fuck yes!” “How many poz loads you take from me?” “Ten!” Dad yelled. “You want ten more?” “I want all your poz loads!” Dad cried. “You want fuck me when you poz?” Gheorghe yelled. “I always want to fuck you!” Dad panted, just loud enough for me to hear. “Then I make you like your sons so you fuck me” Gheorghe said. “You ready?” “Oh please breed me!” Dad begged. “Poz me!” The roars and whines were a sign that Dad was taking what was apparently his eleventh poz load from Gheorghe. My father. Chasing. Holy fucking fuck…

Dad looked a little relieved to see the flat again, but was also kind of sad. He sat on his bed for a while just looking out of the window, having bolted from the lounge barely 30 seconds after going in there. “I think I’d like to see the other place” he said, when I went in to sit with him. “OK” I replied. “You sure?” “Yeah” he said. “I need to.” I went out and spoke to Lorraine, the woman from the centre who had driven him over, and then I fetched dad and the three of us went down to her car. There was no need to drive really, but she said they’d go back straight after and it made sense to have her car nearby. Dad sat in the back on the way, silently staring out of the window while I gave directions through the estate’s fucking stupid road layout. When we arrived Dad got out and looked around, probably being a little familiar with this side of the estate but not much more than that. I walked them over the block and up in the lift, and then opened the door to the nearly-finished flat. The transformation in Dad was immediate. He went in and did a full 360, looking at how bright and modern the place was. He darted off to the guest bedroom, then back to the master and finally the bathroom. After coming back out and looking around the open-plan living room and kitchen, he walked over to the balcony door and went outside. Lorraine and I stood and looked at him as he leant on the railing and took in the view. “I think we have a winner” Lorraine said. “Yeah” I replied, “I think we do.” I was a bit torn inside, on one hand feeling a little sad that we brothers were now unlikely to be moving in here, but on the other being happy to see Dad clearly liking what he saw. I had expected this, knowing in my gut that after all the work they had done with him at the centre, his old home where all the mental health issues had arisen was going to be problematic to be back inside again. I had told him we could do the whole place up, but seeing him out there on the balcony, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he stood in the breeze and looked out at a totally different view than we had from the windows in the other place, he needed more of a change than a few coats of paint on a wall could deliver. I went outside and stood next to him, feeling the warmth of the sun against the chill of the air. The view was nice here, with the estate right there but also the lake, the city beyond down the hill, and even a bit of countryside in the distance. “Are you sure about this son?” he asked, telling me indirectly that this is where he wanted to be. “Yes Dad” I said. “Completely fucking sure.” “I can’t…” he said, before stopping. “You can’t what, Dad?” I asked. “I can’t believe you’d do this for me after everything” he said. “This should be your home.” “Listen Dad” I said, taking a deep breath before I said something I had sort of been practicing for a couple of days. “I’m sure about this. I am. When I found out Stan and Winston had left me this place, it felt like I’d found the answer to a big problem. They’d given me a way to escape, for all four of us to escape, so we could be happy together. But since K came up with this other plan, I’ve realised that this place is not meant to be an escape for us brothers. It’s meant to be a place for you to begin again, to be yourself without all those fucking memories and nightmares punching you in the face every day, and for you to have a chance to be healthy and happy again. That is the gift I can now see Stan and Winston gave us. Not somewhere for us brothers, but somewhere safe for you.” Dad began to quietly sob, and I put my arm around him. He turned and I took him into a full-blown hug, letting him openly cry against my shoulder. We didn’t need to say anything else, as the decision had been made. This would be Dad’s home, and we Ballard brothers would now focus on turning the old flat into something new for the four of us and our other partners. It not only made sense, but it just felt right. Once Dad had recovered, Lorraine checked he was OK and then suggested they should go back to the centre. He was likely going to be discharged in a few days, and I suggested we could maybe take him out a couple more times beforehand to choose the furniture he would need for moving in. She agreed that was a good idea but would discuss with his therapist, and then they left. I spent a little bit of time in the flat after that, just kind of saying a final goodbye to that dream I’d had of living there, and then I left too so that I could get to the Dragon for my shift. I messaged everyone on the way to let them know the decision, and while the initial responses suggested everyone was feeling a pang of sadness about it, as I checked my phone a few times during my shift it had all turned into making plans for starting the renovation of what would now be our ongoing home. I separately messaged Bret to say we needed to make an appointment with a housing officer before anything else happened, just so we could try to make sure there weren’t going to be any nasty surprises from the Council related to Dad moving out. We chatted about that later on once we were both home, and then once Justin got back from a tiring stint on duty, the three of us enjoyed some gentle and tender sex before we went to sleep. The next few days were dominated by preparations for Dad’s discharge, including a final push by Gheorghe, Pavel and Jonas to finish all the work. K&K took the lead on taking Dad to IKEA and a couple of other places to choose furniture, which he apparently got really into and was waiting excitedly for them to turn up at the centre on each day to take him out shopping. They also did some clothes shopping with him, both because he seemed to be embracing change but also because of the weight he’d lost while at the centre. Being off the booze, eating healthily and being encouraged to work out at least once a day by the centre’s physical therapist had done wonders for his body, killing off a beer gut that had been threatening to form and also giving him some really nice tone to his arms and chest. Me and Bret got on with the Council issue, managing to get a fast-track appointment with a housing officer as part of the discharge process for Dad. The lady we saw was called Amma, a no-nonsense motherly Ghanaian who was somehow able to maintain a big smile and laugh a lot despite how depressing her job must be. After going over our case she was confident we would be able to stay put given we were brothers, it was already our home, and the fact that four single men living in a three-bedroom flat would not breach any of the rules about underutilisation of the Council’s housing stock. We agreed it was best if it went into Bret’s name as the oldest, and she got the wheels in motion to begin the means-testing that would be needed to have him be the one on their list rather than Dad. There was clearly going to be a lot of bureaucracy to go through, but the two of us left feeling more confident that it would be worth starting the renovations. Lorraine was the one to bring Dad to his new flat when he was finally discharged, and we were all there sitting on the floor building the last items of furniture that had been delivered a day late. Pavel and Jonas were already off starting a new job Gheorghe had won in another flat on the estate, but he was still with us and busy painting in the guest bedroom as he had not been happy with some of the finishing. The furniture in Dad’s bedroom was done and the sofabed and armchairs had been delivered for the living room, so we were just trying to get the coffee table, bookshelves and TV stand built when he arrived. Lorraine suggested he go and unpack, while Bret and I joined her at the kitchen table to go through all the documents we had to countersign as he was officially being handed over to us as family carers. His therapist had called me the day before and talked for a long time about what all this meant in theory versus what she envisaged it would actually entail, while reassuring me Dad would be getting weekly visits from a case worker as well as being required to attend a combination of individual and group therapy sessions at the community centre over on the Challen Estate. Everything seemed straightforward, and we had loosely agreed our own plans for ensuring Dad was taken care of as well as being given the space to learn to live by himself again without relying on alcohol. Once we were done and Lorraine had left, I went into Dad’s room to check on him but he wasn’t there and nor was he in the bathroom. Then I heard quiet speaking from the guest bedroom, and went over to the door to find him and Gheorghe talking to each other. This was the first time they had met, and I was immediately hit by the sense that I was seeing a spark between two people. It was one of those things that you couldn’t really pin down, but the way they were looking at each other, the little smiles as they talked, and the glances towards each others’ muscles that I noticed they were taking were unmistakable. This is not something I had even considered as a possibility, and I just stood there in stunned silence. Neither of them had reacted to me being in the doorway, and I eventually backed away and left them to it. I went back to the kitchen and threw myself into unpacking the boxes of crockery that had arrived, my mind racing a bit. It wasn’t so much the Gheorghe thing as it was that I had properly realised my father would be openly gay now, and that there would be a man or men as part of that. Despite all the conversations, this was the first time I had actually thought about it in real terms. Justin came by later in his uniform, on a quick break from duty, and he stopped into the guest bedroom to say hello to my Dad who was now helping Gheorghe with the paintwork. When Justin came back out of the room after just a minute or two, he glanced back in again and the expression on his face told me he must have noticed what I had. When he said his goodbyes and left, I hurried after him. “What did you think of Dad?” I asked, as we rode the lift down. “He’s looking fitter and healthier than I’ve ever seen him” Justin replied. “Anything else?” I asked. “Dunno” he said. “He seemed to just want to get back to painting with Gheorghe so he didn’t say much.” “Yeah” I said. “I, er, thought I saw something between them earlier.” “You did?” he asked. “Yeah, like a spark or something” I replied. “Hard to say, but there was something.” “Well OK” said Justin, smiling. “I thought he just didn’t want to talk to me because I arrested him so many times and am now fucking two of his sons.” “His sons are fucking each other and he’s OK with that, so I think you’re fine” I said, grinning at him. “Also, he was so fucking wasted whenever you had to arrest him that he won’t remember it was you.” We got out of the lift and went outside. “So, your dad and Gheorghe” he said, as I lit up a cigarette. “Yeah” I replied, “or maybe. I dunno.” “You OK with that if it is a thing?” he asked, before taking my cigarette from me for a puff and then handing it back. “Er, yeah, I guess so” I said. “I mean, Dad’s like ten years older at least, but Gheorghe’s a great guy. If there’s something there then I’d be happy it was with someone good. But what about you?” “Me?” Justin asked. “Well, yeah” I said. “I mean, you and Gheorghe were going at each other like fucking maniacs before. Won’t it be weird if your father-in-law then hooks up with the guy?” Justin started laughing, actually having to wipe tears away from his eyes as he started to get back in control of himself again. “What’s so fucking funny?” I asked, grinning at him. “Us” he said. “This family. Even fucking Jerry Springer has never seen shit like this before.” He started laughing again, and this time I joined in. He was right. This family was fucking mental when you stopped and thought about it. Not only were the brothers all fucking each other, there were three extra men involved in the whole big loving mess. Now we were here talking about the possibility of the father getting it on with a guy who employed two of the family’s extra lovers, had been pozzed by the third one, and had at some point both fucked and been fucked by all the sons. You couldn’t make this shit up. “But no” said Justin, when we calmed down. “No issues for me. Gheorghe is indeed a great guy, and he and I were just satisfying physical needs we had at that time. I’d actually be very happy if your Dad found something with him. “You would?” I asked. “Yeah, I would” said Justin. “I know from the shit I’ve seen that a good relationship can be what saves people from falling back into things they depended on before. Like, not just from having someone to support and look out for them, but someone who helps them recover their self-esteem and self-worth. I reckon that’s just what your Dad needs.” There were times when Justin’s worldliness took me by surprise, when I got a glimpse into everything he had seen and experienced being in the police. Like, everyone thought I was the most with-it of the Ballards even though I was the youngest, but Justin kept showing me that he was really the rock in our whole unorthodox household. I fell in love with him a little more every time he quietly revealed things like this, showing just how perceptive he was about the world. I demonstrated how he made me feel by moving closer to him and grabbing the front of his uniform, leaning up for a deep kiss. He was on duty and out in the open, but he no longer cared about holding back if the moment was right. He kissed me back, and then gave me a big smile as we parted. “I love you” I said. “You know I love you too” he replied. He headed back off to meet up with his colleague, and after finishing my cigarette I went back upstairs. I looked round at my brothers all hunched over as they focused on their tasks, and then I went over to the guest bedroom and looked in on my Dad as he continued to help Gheorghe paint while the two of them chatted about Romania. This time I just smiled, and then I took myself back to the kitchen to continue unpacking. My mind was still a rollercoaster, but Justin was right, there was only upside if indeed something was happening with those two. We would just have to step back and see how it all played out…

Oh wow - I was so pleased to see that the Daddy from the first night was part of the group. Now that Jake is begging for toxic poz loads, I wonder if he will entertain other Daddies from the block that night with visitations as he sleeps, before more roulette, or now games of hope (perhaps?) Great writing once again @pozchaser21