BannedWord

So...let's call this what it is: A compulsion to engage in a behavior that may be considered risky, or that may put your partner at risk. Let's also presume from your post that you're looking to get the train of thought of engaging in that behavior out of mind and focus on your partner in a 'traditional, monogamous relationship'. A good idea would be to cold-turkey from the sites, apps and influences that tempt you. But since you're here, I can infer that might be an issue for you and that you may need some type of a site-blocker to lock down your devices (or cold-turkey the Internet altogether, people lived for years without it). The rest of the resources I'd cite would be somewhat secular in nature and involve some type of 12-Step program, and that in itself becomes a mechanism to replace the bareback addiction (instead of barebacking someone, you "attend a meeting"). It's not an answer in itself but perhaps a path to get to the answer. Here are some such programs. Sex Addicts Anonymous - saa-recovery.org Sexual Compulsives Anonymous - sca-recovery.org Sexual Recovery Anonymous - sexual recovery.org I've known people who've consulted clergy with mixed success. It's an option, I'll stay silent on that. You might want to look for a professional in addiction counseling because, like anything else, this is an addiction for you in that you seem conflicted and want to follow a different path. Find a good psychologist who specializes in sexual matters or someone who is a sex therapist and book a session to get a feel for their approach and expertise. On the other hand... Consider if the path you want to go down is really the one that you truly want. Something subconsciously is driving you instinctually to want to engage in bareback sex. Perhaps you should consider why and whether the path that you really want is to indulge yourself and that it's time to confront your partner with your desires so that they can make their own decisions. There's nothing wrong with that other than your own level of acceptance of it, or whether it conforms to the norms that are familiar. Your post made it seem that you want to sublimate your desires, and perhaps that's not the healthiest thing for you. Something to ponder over. Good luck.

Also hoping that the question wasn't simply rhetorical, since I probably give you 2-3 minutes of reading if it wasn't. 😂🤣

Ok, let me try to flesh this out from having been in heteronormative relationships. First, there seems to be a double-standard in that it seems fine to much of society that women can be bisexual and have a female lover. Porn tends to glamorize it, which perhaps is a contributor. But it's [banned word] to consider a guy having a male lover, and many of the women I've met typify that sort of bias. So there's one reason we can all appreciate in that any kind of M2M situation still isn't really part of mainstream society. Yet. Second, they became spouses based on what might be considered as a false pretense. They got married as a heterosexual couple (presumably), and if that changes, that isn't necessarily what one partner signed on for. Third, a partner wasn't honest and "cheated". Or more to the point, decided unilaterally that they could open the relationship in a way the other couldn't envision or accept. If the other partner was raised under a more conservative societal norm, this could prove really shocking, not the least of it that the partner started doing something (a) without discussion and (b) without full-disclosure to the other party. Doesn't much matter that perhaps the relationship had gone sexless and she was no longer interested in keeping the other partner 'under the porch'. And when the relationship gets stale enough that you need to make agreements on sex, it's already over because you can't force a person to engage in something they no longer want to do. Let me flip the script: Suppose you were in a long-term relationship/marriage with another guy and he suddenly revealed to you that he craves pussy and wants to bareback women to try to conceive a kid with her. That likely wasn't the situation into which you bought. You're gay, he turns out to be at least bi if not more possibly straight. The question is whether that would be something you could accept as a partner? I'm hoping that might make sense in explaining.

I just went through this guy's feed. He claims that he is not Poz. Nonetheless, he's still on the hook if he knowingly misrepresented his status, but I reckon like the others that he's fueling a fantasy in order to get more eyeballs on his OF and JFF subscriptions. It looks self-produced with similar camera angles. And the one-and-done doesn't hold up if he's collaborating with certain others, a few were more than once. He's definitely hot, but I won't be purchasing a sub as it seems like all it would be is "daddy fucks Twink, more daddy fucks Twink, and...oh look, there's daddy fucking Twink".

Actually, I've ended up meeting more black women who say they have less in common with black males and specifically decline to get involved with anything with them. Not that I'm complaining, I've had some great experiences with black women as well as other POC. I've had good and bad experiences with people of any race, including my own. Some stick with you, others not so much. When it becomes a really clear pattern, then it's something that I wouldn't ignore and perhaps think about. For example, I could easily say that every (insert cultural group) male I've met hasn't had a sexual compatibility with me. After a while, it would become natural to avoid that group versus trying to fit a square peg in a round hole (ok, bad analogy). Similar, if I had a bad reaction to a certain food, I'd probably not make it a point to eat that because it hasn't agreed with me in the past. On the surface, it might have seemed that this particular dude might have had a problem with race, I'd wonder though if somehow there was something more to it than that, or if the guy was just a racist bigot.

15, but he was kinda disappointing because by the time I could suck him, he was already so turned on that he'd already cum in his pants. So it was more licking up seed. Then asked if he could fuck me. With what?!? He was already limp from having cum before he could get it whipped out. 😂🤣 (smh) It was ok since I knew a friend who had a similar experience with him, equally as uneventful.

On the surface, I'd say 'cool' but I do wonder about how that would look. All of it as stated seems very innocent until you scratch under the surface (so I'll probably express some unpopular opinions, but most people reading me already know that). Kind of gives me a Chris Hansen/To Catch a Predator vibe that it could still get construed as a meeting between an adult and a 'consenting male of minor age' that something sexual might get implied despite all of the written chat evidence (which someone might be inclined to edit). Also, I wonder about entrapment. How does the OP know that his chat-partner is actually 16 and not someone undercover doing/saying all the right things to entrap him? Don't want to seem alarmist, but just think he may want to advance very cautiously . Like I would make it clear that no sex is happening. Period. Full stop. Anything that alludes to it happening in a written exchange could come back to haunt him. If they want to feel each other out in a face-to-face conversation once they truly 'know' each other and establish rapport, and provided that his local statutes don't constitute an illegality...then the topic may surface. I'd just not surface that immediately in writing. True story: I once had a chat with someone who was supposedly "18" only to later find out he was "14". Age of consent in our state, @hntnhole is a very firm 18. So as much as he pressed that he wanted to meet, (a) I was much less interested, and (b) I smelled entrapment from miles away. So I shot it down. Good wager? His account disappeared afterward -- either someone else narc'ed on him, or it was a fishing expedition by LE designed to entrap people (don't you hate that?), but in either case, I thought it was the right decision. I'd personally have felt a bit funny about it.

While I'd agree that Americans are far more sexually repressed than say Europeans -- for instance, nudity is shown openly on TV in several countries where that wouldn't be tolerated by our FCC -- I don't buy that we're heading down a Nazi-path of weaponizing sexual behavior that isn't procreative. Hell, we have school systems that are chomping at the bit to teach Kindergartners about gay sex and others who'd withhold a child's desire to gender transition from his parents at an age as early as 8. Were I a parent -- gay, straight or anywhere in between -- I'd be far more concerned about acting on permanent transition in pre-teen years than a 16-year old experimenting sexually to determine his sexual preferences. But that's a different topic and yet more alarming in many ways. @ErosWired makes a compelling point that he'd be concerned about the potential for coercion of his son, not whether that son has a preference for other guys (or in his case, women and men). But as much as it might be a great fantasy to be a teen's first experience, ask yourself whether you can afford to be outed for statutory rape, endangering a minor, potential charges of sexually exploiting a minor, or anything else a zealous prosecutor would want to throw at you regardless of whether he's of consenting age. He's not an adult. Yet. Even if you can afford a super attorney that can get you acquitted, you'll have suffered repetitional damage. And if you are found guilty and incarcerated, prison justice toward those acts once inmates find out (and they will) is swift and being Big Bubba's bitch is the least you'll have to worry about. There's no clear justice when the lines drawn are so mercurial. None of us can tell you what to do, but decide if it's worth the retribution you'd face for the 20 minutes you'd likely be fucking this kid.

Adonis was my hangout, more because of the dark room and the number of guys who just wanted to either suck cock or take a good raw breeding. Fuck that place was fun. Many years ago, I had some fun with one of the day clerks because it wasn't so busy. Cute Twink guy, met up later with him when his bf was out. Another clerk at a non-busy time decided to come back into the theater nearest the door and join me while I was stroking by asking if this seat was taken. I told him it wasn't so he stripped down and lowered his hole onto my cock and rode me to get a load inside him. Guess he literally meant MY seat. LOL Fun times.

Strategy Consultant for Technology.

That. Right there. And I imagine a lot of the "straight" dudes who I've been with aren't looking to enter into a romantic relationship with another guy. But the physical chemistry and eroticness of sex with another guy gets them excited in a much different way. No pretense, just two guys that want to get each other off is how they rationalize it. But it's kind of comical to think of someone considering themselves straight when your dick is buried deep in them and they're moaning with pleasure. That's kind of the problem with labels. Why can't we just be 'sexually fluid'? One moment, a hot guy gets you horny, another it could be an MtF, or an FtM, or you just want to fuck a nice pussy. So what?

The last time I was there, which was about 5-6 years ago (as Macys) it was. But then my memories were more slanted to recall when I was there in the early 80's and when it had all 12 floors and 2 sub-floors (even though 10-12 were administrative office, banquet halls, World Affairs Council and the employee cafeteria, the basement was unadorned). Taking everything above the 5th floor was disheartening. I think the basement levels are now a parking garage. Sad how it all changed. I read this weekend of another spate of shootings that rivaled Chicago, thinking that isn't an honor I'd want to win. Back to the thread topic...and perhaps I'm of an age where looking from afar and realizing that I can commute has a certain advantage rather than a cramped apartment, overpriced rents and escalating crime. Cities like Philly made progress becoming safer destinations in the 90's only to slide back since 2000 or so, and Philly gets the prize for being a stop on Amtrak between NYC and DC that's mostly forgotten. If you want to consider Philly, Collingswood in near New Jersey is now the real gay friendly companion community to the Philly Gayborhood. It's safer if not as lively and it's a 15 minute train ride to 13th and Spruce. I love Philly, but it wouldn't be where I'd want to locate in the current climate.

(Queue Will Smith singing the Fresh Prince theme song) 😃🤣 13th Street used to be the jaun! Yes, Philly region, born and bred, and there was a lot to like there while growing up as a kid. I worked a summer at Wanamaker's at 13th and Market, and coming in each morning, I used to get propositioned by the tranny hookers hanging out, only to go to Wanamaker's and be hit on by the other sales clerks. 😉 If you moved when you did, you missed a lot of the revitalization that occurred during the 90's and was subsequently undone ever since. Philly actually became kinda nice during that time, and then went precipitously downhill and the jobs moved out -- north, west, Delaware, NYC, etc. Phila Parking Authority is a nightmare. Ever watch Parking Wars? It's all them, and those are the tamer encounters. Since the 60's, South Philadelphians parked in the middle of Broad Street, and they were stoned out of meetings when those cars were ticketed (probably the same crowd who boo'ed Sant Claus and pelted him with snowballs). I managed to avoid tickets but that's no easy feat for street parking. Finding broken meters (or ones that soon would be) turned out to be a saving grace. 😉 Between skyrocketing crime, spiking rents, and onerous city taxes, I don't know anyone who'd go back when you could live outside the city and commute...or just live elsewhere period. Funny how it's such a small world. We probably know enough of the same haunts.

That's just lazy. You're making someone else do all the effort of finding out the information you didn't want to post (not "you" personally, but the "Mr. Ask Me" profile). Does the answer change situationally that one day it's a sissy-botton femboi and the next it's a sadistic Dom top? If I need to play 20 questions to learn basic info (and these same guys give one word answers, which loses my interest quickly), I'm not playing because they won't make an effort. I imagine that fucking one of these dudes is like humping a wet noodle.

There was a short documentary story on a couple of married guys -- married to women -- who do commercial gay porn and fuck on camera. And are apparently doing so for the money and making ends meet. The wives are fine with it, the guys do the normal things on camera you would expect in standard run-of-the-mill gay porn (sucking, fucking, cum shots, kissing, rimming). So I'm skeptical of the statement that they're "straight" as they seem to be at least bisexual and not opposed to fucking other guys on camera. Or they at least didn't need a fluffer to get it up.

@hntnhole made reference to Autism, so I guess I'll ask the question since you classified yourself as an Aspie in a previous thread: Does the desire to not have entanglements carry over into your friendships? Or is there a tendency toward introversion, or not so? And I agree with him as well that regardless of anything else, you're clearly intelligent and articulate.

For me, it became primal. It was like a switch turned on in my brain that told me I only want this. The first times, I was worried about whether I would get the girl pregnant, and after a few more times I simply didn't care anymore and if I was fucking, I was not pulling out and they were getting me pushing as deep as possible. When I started fucking guys more, very few wanted condoms and were just ready to take it. So I let those same rules apply and just went with the primal instinct. Of course it feels better. There's more of a connection to someone else. But it's also that primal instinct of claiming something and the catharsis of dumping my load inside them that truly is the thing that satisfies me. So it's not accidental, and more times, it was really intentional. So nothing now makes me wrap it.

Ok, well that helps. I would have just taken it as a compliment that he's asking if he can fuck you regularly versus just being extremely aggressive. Or maybe he forms an attachment to someone during sex if he's really getting into the experience. I've only ever had that a few times worth noting, so I can understand the perspective.

We all like what we like. I viewed the comment as potentially flattering, so I'd be more inclined to take it as a compliment. Perhaps he was having such a good time with you, or you were such a great fuck and enjoying you so much that he was interested in fucking you regularly or more often. If I found a bottom with whom I had great chemistry, I wouldn't mind that being more a regular FB or FWB. Doesn't mean that the guy wants a 'relationship' with you but a great fuck can be a rarity. Aside from the discomfort reading into the question, would you want him to fuck you again, or was he a lousy lay?

Of course, you could always agree with him, but then you'd both be wrong. 😃

There's just one problem with that: People who don't read profiles (or the blood rushed from their head to somewhere else and their brain shut off). I've said exactly this on profiles that I'm not interested in chat or situations where I need to call my travel agent to get laid. Yet, guys refuse to read that and just hit you up anyway. Here's others: Hey, I'm a FF Top. Nice for you, nothing in my profile indicates I'm a FF bottom. How's it going, safe play only. My profile is clear in that I don't want condoms. How about some role-play? I'm really clear I'm not into RP. I'll hookup if you're "gen". Fuck, how many different ways can you make it clear you aren't gen? And all of those were examples that were totally unsolicited, So I totally get why @ErosWired finds that this grinds his gears. Mine too. Simple solution is the block function.

A couple of them: I would have taken more chances. I definitely would have fucked a lot more and not turned down an offer for sex (yeah, I did that). I also had a huge crush on a guy when I was 16/17. He was my age, he was gorgeous, funny, engaging, we had fun together, and we knew about our own desires. He gave me the opportunity to make a move and I didn't take it. 😟 I reckon if I had, my life would have been different and I would have been more out and open about my (bi) sexuality than I was. It's a shame that you can't turn the clock back, but you can learn to just take those opportunities because they were right at that time.

Gotten all of these pretty constantly. Or for #2 above, with a name like AIDSChasingFag and profile details that say "Condoms/Safe Sex only". The ones who have no info -- no description, no pics, no stats -- are just flakes and pretty feckin' lazy. If you won't say anything about you without my having to ask, why should I tell you anything else about me?

I beg to differ a bit. I think he was given some very sobering and sage wisdom and here's why: The people who tend to be celebrated for 'joining the brotherhood' are largely congratulated because that was their goal from the outset. Rarely was it an accident but a deliberate action or decisions that he actively chose to follow. The OP doesn't appear to be looking for that and asked directly about PrEP. Doesn't sound like the sort of question someone would ask if they were out chasing. The OP clearly wants to fly his freak flag and be a cumdump, but is asking responsible questions from others. So I'd reckon he got the answers he needed from the standpoint of knowing he'd taken some risks but wants to pursue this just a bit more responsibly (relatively speaking). And those who answered him aren't the ones who'd tell him to go out and do something that would weigh on their own consciences.

Or...they simply don't care and aren't changing their habits. "If they're not asking, I'm not saying," even though they'd have to say "Don't know, don't care".