bearbandit

I thought your home testing kit was supposed to have arrived by now? Haven't you listened to a word we've said about your chances of having picked up HIV from your girlfriends? Whether you have or haven't what makes it ok for you to make such disturbing phone calls to then? If any one of them had raked their nails down your face for such ungentlemanly conduct, I'd be applauding her. Secondly, do you have any idea how insulting the word "clean" is in this context: the obvious corollary is that those of us who have HIV are intrinsically "dirty". Turn up on my doorstep and talk about being "clean" in the context of having HIV and you're liable to leave that doorstep with a broken nose because I don't take insults from anyone on my own property. Yeah I can get down there and have real dirty sex with the right guy(s), but it doesn't give you the right to raise your nose in the air and talk about being "clean". We've done the best we can to support you through this episode and what do you do? Insult an unknown number of us. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! You've got issues that you need to talk out with a therapist, not on an internet site. Right now I regret each of the three posts I've made on this thread trying to relieve your anxiety. I think you owe me, and every other poz person here an apology for your insulting language. That was me being polite...

Poppers are pretty short acting and the main risk is if you've already got high blood pressure or are using viagra, when they can destabilise the rhythm of the heart (if I've got this wrong, please someone, correct me). I've been using poppers for over 30 years and the worst side-effect I've had from them is a bad headache when they've been a bit off. I was in hospital last year and one of the worries was that I might be heading for a heart attack because of lowered concentrations of potassium in my blood. It didn't happen... (This is just my experience and isn't a substitute for proper medical advice)

Absolute agreement here too. As barebackers we get a bad enough press as it is, even though we know we're making a rational choice, something I hope to get over at the London sex helplines training I talk about in another thread here. We should be seizing every opportunity to have our choices recognised as valid and adding to our quality of life.

Pozdaddy 14 I’m the first to leave the cellar. I head for the living room and shout for Pozboy: “put a blanket on the sofa”. He looks puzzled: “I’m too knackered to go get cleaned up and I don’t want to mark the sofa – move it!” Pozboy’s back within twenty seconds and spreads the blanket over the sofa. I flop down, grateful for the rest. When I told the little fucks it was all acting I didn’t expect quite such enthusiasm from them. Ken comes into the living room followed by the boys. “Shit, you look done in – but the good news is that what I saw looked pretty good. None of the problems of the “rehearsal” scene, looked natural and it flowed well. Want to watch?” “Yeah, go on – it’ll give me a chance to work out what I’m going to do to these two as punishment for beating up on an old man,” I grin. “I trust that Max is in for it tonight...” “Why should tonight be any different from any other night?” Ken asks as he gets the chip out of the camera and sorts out the adapter to plug into the USB socket on the TV. “Just remember this is raw footage – I may well have to mess with lighting levels and filters or clip the odd bit out. Max sits by Ken’s feet and Pozboy and Dave sit as close as possible to each other as though they’re competing for my attention. I’m lying on my side with an arm around Dave’s neck when I feel the cum dribbling out of my ass: “Pozboy, clean my ass up.” Instantly he wriggles himself in between me and the sofa back. I smile at the memory of a dog who used to like to share the sofa the same way. Except she didn’t get her nose buried in my ass the way Pozboy is doing. Ken keeps up a running commentary of what he intends to do with the raw footage: I’m too tired to take much notice. Pozboy has wriggled his way behind me, having cleaned up my ass and is watching from behind me, while Dave is sitting perfectly still on the floor, so still that I begin to wonder if he’s in shock. Eventually we reach the series of stills at the end. “Yep,” I say “looks better than the last one and has a good flow to it. And Max... next time you’re over I’m going to do to your ass what you did to my belly. That’s a promise. How do you feel about it, Ken?” “Pretty good: I think it gelled properly. I don’t have to do much work on light levels and that. The boys looked good and you put in a pretty good performance. Not sure if I could have resisted the temptation to whip their asses for that one!” “Who says I’m resisting the temptation? I’m just too damn fucked to do it right now,” I laugh. “You going to do another scene with Max before he’s off?” “Of course I am, but I don’t think it’ll be one for the camera...” On hearing that Max half turns and licks his way up Ken’s leg. “Okay you, get dressed for the street and we’ll leave these good men to their day. Sorry to go for a morning shoot Poz, it was the only way we could fit Max in...” “Have to admit that I half wish you hadn’t – I’m fucking sore now, Just promise me I’m topping all the way through the next one! Might be out later, if not see you soon.” “Dave... haven’t you got a job to do? Like seeing guests out?” Dave leaps to his feel and is all old world courtesy opening the front door for Ken and Max even though he’s only wear a rubber jock and boots. Well, it’ll give the neighbours something to talk about if they see him. Pozboy moves up the sofa so that we’re almost face to face. He holds me tightly. “Dad, I’m not on the way out am I? I can’t help but notice the attention you pay to Dave...” “Don’t be so fuckin’ ridiculous... I’m keeping an eye on Dave because I know what that’s like” I twist his dick as I speak. “He’s at a crossroads in life and I and you are looking after him. He wants the virus – and he’s said that he wants it from me. Until he tests positive you just keep your dick away from his ass. When he does test positive, he’ll have choices to make, one of which is the option to join our household. You seemed pretty keen on that idea not so long ago – changed your mind?” “No, Sir. I like him well enough, but I’m not sure I want to share you.” “Gonna have to, kiddo, I never was the monogamous type. And I can’t say as I’ve seen you being keen on monogamy either. Remind me, now, how did I meet Dave? Erm, weren’t you balls deep in his ass in the cellar?” “Okay, point taken... but if he does stay with us, where does he fit in?” “If that happens he’ll take over most of your household jobs, and I’ll want you more in the office. Sexually? You’d both be my boys, equal much of the time, but if I need a senior boy nine times out of ten it would be you. But that might change if you keep questioning my judgment...” “I get it – I’m being insecure...” “Just a little... the truvada will be out of his system in a day or two. Should be at a low enough level that a breeding would take even now. He already knows that you’ve bred me, but he’s adamant that he wants me as his giver. I need you to keep your dick away from his ass until he gets the result he wants.” A knock at the living room door. “Sir, may I come in?” “Don’t be so fucking ridiculous: you’re as good as living here...” “Sir, not if I’m causing problems between you and Pozboy. You don’t know how grateful I am, Sir, but I don’t want to be a problem.” “Dave, I’m going to do the best I can do give you what you want. After that, you’ve got more thinking to do. You can sod off into the bar scene and do what you like, or you can stay here as junior boy. I don’t want an answer now, but I do want you to think about it carefully. Something to say, Pozboy?” “Yeah – the old whore ain’t too bad” I clip him around the ear, “it’s up to you mate: I like having you around and I’m pretty sure Dad does too. Like I said before – I like the idea of brother I can fuck and maybe fuck me...” Another clip around the ear “But obviously not till Dad gets you pozzed, assuming that’s what you still want...” “I’m sure of it. I heard Sir saying that the truvada should be almost out of my system by now.” He moves closer to the sofa and makes to straddle me. Pozboy reacts by making room for him and licking at my balls. “I know we gave you a rough time for the DVD, but maybe I could start making amends, please, Sir”. Pozboy knows exactly how to get me hard with his mouth on my balls and as Dave descends on my cock I realise that he’d already greased up for this – learning a trick too many from Pozboy. “Okay boys, but you’re doing the work.” I’ve got Pozboy grasping my butt trying to hold it still as he sucks on my balls while Dave is riding my dick and putting on a muscle show for me his dick bouncing in the empty air. All three of us are aware that we’re at the beginning of the time when Dave could get pozzed. I emphasise the fact that it’s his decision by folding my arms behind my head and enjoying the view. Pozboy moves around slightly so he’s licking at the base of my dick, catching the mix of pre-cum, lube and ass juice as it leaks out of Dave’s ass. At the same time he’s slowly wanking Dave. I can feel it building and reach round to push Dave hard down on my dick. He tries to sit up and I force him down again – he gets the idea. Now he’s slowly sitting up away from me and slamming down hard enough that I worry for my pelvis. A few more strokes like that and as he starts to rise up again, I force him back down as I cum deep in his ass. I can see in his face that he realises that he’s crossed the bridge: it’s unlikely even with my viral load, and the last traces of truvada in his blood, but still possible that this is it. He stays sitting on my dick while Pozboy moves around to take his cock in his mouth and while wanking himself off works on Dave’s cock. They come more or less simultaneously, the muscles in Dave’s ass all but threatening to sever my dick. “Plug” – Pozboy runs upstairs to get a buttplug for Dave and takes great pleasure in inserting it for him while Dave presents his ass by leaning forward to deep kiss me. “Thank you Sir.” He moves over to Pozboy’s face and kisses him too “Thank you... what the hell do I call you?” “For the present, until we know you’ve seroconverted, I guess Pozboy, same as Dad calls me. After that it depends on what you decide you’re going to do. I mean we do have some unfinished business...” “Ah... when Sir caught us at it in the cellar...” “Exactly... boy.”

The reports I've read have indicated that the protection from PrEP is broadly equivalent to that of using a condom. Not 100%, but near as dammit. In the case of one poz/one neg, if the poz guy is on meds and undetectable, he's going to be shooting blanks so in that instance the protection is as near total as you can get. I suppose in this specific instance the important thing is what's your VL virgoz? The lower your VL, the more protection his PrEP will give him. Since he's been on it for few months, the protection should be near total anyway, providing he's been taking it regularly.

ED can happen at any age, so don't be worried about asking your doctor. Otherwise, a friend of mine (whose not online at present otherwise I'd ask him for the URL) gets viagra from a Canadian site, where it appears to be an over-the-counter drug.

If I can't smell shit, it ain't there (having brought up and picked up after four rottweilers, your nose gets sensitive). Small flakes of shit don't bother me, though I'd rather they weren't there. Otherwise I like to get in as deep as I can (or for him to - 69 rimming is near perfect sex). I guess I'm looking for the proverbial man with the twelve inch tongue and the ability to breathe through his ears...

It depends on the level of trust you have with your man, some of whom are capable of monogamy, by the way. I'd say it needs a deep and honest discussion of what each of you expect and want. If one of you decides that you don't trust the other enough and decides to go for PrEP in order to maintain a condomless relationship, then you haven't talked honestly enough. If one of you is positive, then yes, condoms or PrEP are the order of the day until the positive guy can get his VL down to undetectable (treatment as prevention). An undeteectable viral load is on a par with condoms for transmission prevention. If you're truly going for monogamy, then you need to test twice, three months apart to make sure that you're both negative or just the once if you turn up both positive, in which case keep up with the hospital appointments and take your meds. From experience, there's nothing like a positive partner to make sure that you remember to take your meds ;-) Basically, the key is mutual honesty...

Nearest I've come to that is making a bottom wear a chain collar with a padlock. He carried with him a sealed envelope with my signature across the seal so that he could get the key but wouldn't be able to disguise the fact that he'd had the key and would have to give a full account of why he'd opened the envelope.

I've been asked to do London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard's World Aids Day training session and this year the subject is Barebacking. Several guys here have already very kindly given me permission to quote them and rawTOP has been very helpful. Although I'm a member of the UK's biggest HIV charity I'm doing this as an individual, approaching the subject from the point of view of serosorting, PrEP (when we finally get it in the UK), and treatment as protection. Officially, in the UK there is still only one way to avoid HIV and that's by condom use, but slowly the charities working at grass roots level are changing their minds and this gives me an excellent chance to inject a bit of common sense into the minds of the people giving out the advice. It's a measure of how uneasy the UK is about raw sex that I'm travelling nearly 200 miles (which is a fair journey here) because the organiser couldn't find anyone closer who was prepared to stand up and say to an audience "Yes, I do it raw". Anyway, I don't want the evening to be just my experience: I'd like to incorporate the views of as many others as I can. So is there anything you guys think should be brought up in the course of the evening? My usual way of doing training sessions (usually about life with HIV) is to do a short presentation and then open the floor to questions so that the training session moulds itself to the needs of those attending. Please let me know if there's anything you think I should be bringing up, either in this thread or by PM. Thanks in advance... (BTW The wording on the poster isn't mine

Pozdaddy 13 “Sir, can I apologise now in case I hurt you?” “Dave, we’re about to film a rape scene: you wouldn’t be doing your job as an actor if you didn’t hurt me. It has to be as realistic as possible.” “Yeah, I know, but...” “But nothing, boy. If you’re not comfortable about doing this, go and wait upstairs till we’ve finished filming. You’re either in this 100% or you’re out. Look at these two” I point to Pozboy and Max “do you honestly think they’d do this in real life? They both want to be in the film and the way we’re putting it together, this scene needs to be in it. They understand that it’s acting.” “Yes, Sir...” “Drop that now and get into character: you’re one of a trio of perverted little cunts who get off on fucking older guys. Resentful bottom, victim of previous abuse? We’re not going that deep. This is just something that happens. Can you do it?” He takes a deep breath, thinks for a moment and finally says “Yeah, I can do it, cunt.” The other two smirk. All three are dressed for sex, Pozboy in bike boots and leather chaps, Max the same but rubber chaps and Dave in 20 hole DMs and rubber jock. I’m naked but for a cockring, a chest harness and a Bike jock that’s seen better days. “Whenever you’re ready guys” “I’d say break a leg, but you sods probably would...” I’d deliberately stayed out of the “action plan” meeting so that whatever happens is a surprise to me, knowing that Ken knows. Pozboy and Max grab an arm each and with Dave following close behind I’m dragged into the cellar and thrown to the ground. I start to get to my feet, only to be held in a kneeling position while Max starts pissing on me. His aim starts at my jock and moves up my body until he’s pissing in my face. One of the others pulls my mouth open and Max moves closer till the end of his dick is just a centimetre from my mouth. I swallow. The stream stops abruptly and he smashes his dick into my mouth. He’s not fully hard yet so I get the whole of his dick with his balls against my chin. For fuck’s sake don’t get hard too fast, I think, I still have a gag reflex. As his cock stiffens he starts fucking my face, holding onto the back of my head, I realise he’s figured out exactly where my gag reflex kicks in and is stopping just short of it. I’m working on his dick too hard to notice which of the others has gone for my nipples, I’m guessing Pozboy because he’s hit the point just before too much. At the same time I’m trying to remember to look frightened for the camera. Yeah... definitely Pozboy on my tits: Dave has just kicked my balls: he’s the only one wearing DMs and I definitely felt laces. He’s forcing me upwards into a doggy position. I concentrate on sucking Max. Pozboy has let my tits go and a glance upwards sees him kissing Max while Max uses his other hand to play with his cock. The first real shock comes when Dave shoves a couple of fingers into my ass – I never thought he would. I spread my legs a bit while Max pulls out of my mouth and lets Pozboy in. This is easier: I know how Pozboy reacts to being sucked better than I know how Max reacts. Dave is going harder with the fingers, occasionally taking them out to spit on them. Now a third finger and it’s starting to feel a bit tight, but I don’t have time to think about that as Pozboy gets more forceful with me. Max grabs hold of the chest harness to lift me up and my teeth scrape along Pozboy’s cock. He punches me in the face hard enough to draw blood from my nose in response. Max pulls me over to the sling and dumps me lying across it while Dave takes the opportunity to get his dick in my ass. Pozboy and Max are working in unison, each putting a wrist restraint on me, after which one of them clips the restraints together. Dave is fucking me harder now – I’d never appreciated the size of his dick, being too interested in his ass, shit, getting really turned on now, backing onto Dave’s dick. I want more of it. “Looks like the dirty cunt’s getting into it. C’mon guys, into the sling with him.” Dave pulls out and my wrists are briefly unclipped as Max hauls me round to tip me into the sling. I silently note how it’s Max that manhandles me – my boys hang back from the job, but not from securing my arms and legs in the sling. Max takes control now, seeing that it was him that got me here, teasing my hole with the tip of his dick. I hang my head backwards, mouth open and Dave gets the idea, filling my mouth with the taste of his precum and my ass-juices. Dave suddenly pulls out and I see Pozboy just in time to tense up as he punches my belly. I jerk towards a foetal position I can’t make because of the restraints, but I see Max’s appreciation of the way my ass has involuntarily clenched. He starts fucking harder and I see Pozboy going for another punch. Max is deep inside me when the punch lands. For fuck’s sake Pozboy there are easier ways of making a guy milk a dick. His fist raised again I breathlessly say ”please no...” “Shut the fuck up, faggot.” Again I’m trying to make it to a foetal position: I’ve got a pretty strong stomach wall, but not that strong. Max is going for it: I can feel his dick trying to stretch my hole further and Pozboy turns his next punch to the side of my head: “Suck it.” I lean my head back and Dave is quick to get his dick in my mouth as Max starts cumming inside me. Pozboy waits will Max has stopped and is just hanging over me with his dick still inside me. He pushes Max away and aggressively forces his way into my ass. Shit, but he’s got into role, as has Dave who’s back in my mouth ready to cum. Dave is first: I try the best I can to swallow it but some leaks out of my mouth. “Lift his head up...” as Pozboy does so Pozboy leans over me to lick up the dribbled cum and I feel his dick tense. He changes to a slow stabbing rhythm having me cry out each time he gets in deep. As he’s fucking me he pulls Max and Dave onto my dick and I realise that I’m within a hair’s breadth of cumming. I know this pattern of fucking and sure enough within seconds I can feel Pozboy’s cum flowing into my guts. My groan of satisfaction is interrupted by my own orgasm as I spurt over my belly with Max and Dave racing to lick it up. “Keep going – moving to stills” Pozboy is still deep in my ass while the other two are licking up my cum. I’m exhausted: I let my head fall back and leave them to get on with it. Eventually the slight click of the camera as it takes a still stops. Pozboy pulls out of my ass and they untie me...

The guy that fucked me last week used condoms (damn shame). I could only just get his dick in my mouth when it was soft and he was a grower...

Viral load always goes crazy during fuck flu, but settles down afterwards. I had fuck flu in 1980 and despite the crappy medications of the nineties I kept on going. I think the highest viral load I've ever had was 65k - I think they worked out the VL test in about the mid nineties. If you can tolerate the efavirenz in Atripla (and if you can't there are alternatives - demand them!) it's bloody good at pushing the VL down as you've discovered. Over the past ten years I think I've only slipped into detectable - even with the moving goalposts - maybe four times.

Been following this with interest as it mirrors a lot of my experience. I think that as we age and cease to be the totally invulnerable brats we were in our twenties we have to acknowledge the fact. Life takes its toll. Saying "Fuck, that hurts" isn't being a wimp - it's being honest. Even if you take HIV out of the equation I could do a hell of a lot more twenty or thirty years ago than I can today. When I look back there are torture scenes I wouldn't have a chance of doing today. For example, clothes peg torture: I used to be able to get well into triple figures and be on the verge of cumming when they were removed. These days, and I don't think it's because I've been ill, I'd say I was doing well to get into triple figures at all. I've got age related arthritis beginning to show its nasty little head so some positions get painful real fast. So I work around that. Maybe it's time to start using the traffic lights stop word system. Personally I get a tremor in an arm or leg that's in the same position for too long or taking more weight than it feels it should. I know it's nothing to worry about but he doesn't necessarily know (I once had a guy fuck me so hard that I ended up in a hypo and had to get him to bring me OJ - just one of the joys of diabetes). But for all these perceived weaknesses never forget the inner strength: you did it. Maybe it cost you a bit more than it would have done five years ago, but you did it. Plus there's all that knowledge (theory/technique) you have.

A pussy is a baby cat or a cowardly man picking on women. Cunt is a term of abuse/affection in a BDSM relationship. I have an ass that has a dual purpose hole in it. I'm not a fan of feminising the idea of fucking...

Pozdaddy 12 I wake slowly, trying to make sense of the world. I’ve got my arm around Pozboy – he’s done his usual by anticipating the alarm clock and is sucking gently on one nipple. Except in stereo. Another guy the other side of me also gently chewing away at the other nipple. Last night comes flooding back to me. Oh fuck, what have I let myself in for? I decide to worry about it later as I clutch the two heads to me relishing the feeling of a beard one side and stubble the other. There’d obviously been a tactical discussion before I woke because as soon as I stretched spread my legs, Pozboy’s usual signal to get his mouth on my dick, they both headed south, Dave taking my dick and Pozboy my balls. He knows exactly how hard to pull on them to maximum effect. I sit up slightly to slap both their asses to indicate they should move round a bit so I’ve got their cocks within reach. I alternate between sucking one and playing with the other, savouring the taste of their precum. I thought Pozboy and I leaked a lot, but Dave is practically pissing precum. I’ve smeared it all over his not inconsiderable dick and his balls. It tastes as good as it feels. I do a bit of mental arithmetic (quite an achievement under the circumstances) and figure there’s still a fair amount of truvada in Dave’s blood. His protection will be waning but he’ll have enough for what I have in mind. As far as Pozboy’s concerned I’m just switching to sucking his dick, but I get Dave’s attention and mouth the words “fuck him” before taking Pozboy’s cock in my mouth again. Realising that Dave has moved, Pozboy takes my dick in his mouth. Seconds later Dave begins pushing into Pozboy’s ass. His grip on my dick falters while his own gets even harder as Dave pushes in. And the view I’ve got... Dave’s taking long strokes, almost withdrawing before plunging in deep. I’m getting Pozboy’s reactions as he seeks to fuck my mouth and takes my cock as deep as he can – I feel him gag occasionally. I reach up and take hold of Dave’s balls and begin to twist slightly. He lets loose a groan, and doesn’t pull out so far. He’s gone from full length strokes to short jabs in Pozboy’s ass. I let go of his balls and finger his ass, still wet from last night. By the time I’ve got three fingers in I’m dictating the speed and depth of his fucking. Pozboy can’t hold it any longer: he’s leaking more and more and I feel his dick tense up. The two of them come almost simultaneously. Dave damn near breaks my fingers as he tenses and shoots in Pozboy’s ass. With the first spurt of cum in his ass Pozboy begins unloading in my mouth. Dave withdraws, realises that I haven’t cum yet and gets his mouth over my dick. I pull Pozboy round so that his asshole is directly over my mouth and begin to tease his hole with my tongue, letting Dave’s cum trickle into my mouth. When I grip Dave’s head and start to facefuck him Pozboy grinds his ass into my face. Dave pulls free, a liberty I wouldn’t allow Pozboy, and straddles my cock to sit on it. An ass to rim, an ass to fuck – pig heaven! It can’t last... the heat of their asses, the taste of cum and ass, I cum deep inside Dave’s ass. As I relax they both stand up and move off as though to start on breakfast “Oi! What about cleaning me up?” They opt to clean each other’s cum up, which gives me the chance to get my tongue in Dave’s mouth for a long passionate kiss, undisturbed by Pozboy because I’ve wrapped my legs around his neck. He wriggles free and starts a play fight with Dave. Again the thought comes: what the fuck have I done? “You two – kitchen, now!” I take my time getting off the bed. Well, it was going to be a quiet day; now I have no idea. Instinct tells me to keep Dave close by till the truvada is out of his blood. I’m pretty sure Pozboy wouldn’t try to breed him, but there’s nothing worse than a sulky bottom and I know he’s capable of going that route. I wander into the shower – a glance in the mirror confirms the need for a haircut – it’s probably past a number 1 now. A quick shower and I head downstairs. “Fuck me – no, Pozboy, that was an exclamation, not an invitation. You can come again Dave.” The table’s properly set, with three plates of perfect scrambled egg on toast. We’re half way through eating when Dave speaks up “Sir, can I ask something kinda personal?” I nod. “Pozboy said he’s fucked you but you’re his Sir. I don’t get it: none of my bosses would have let me anywhere near their asses.” “Maybe your bosses didn’t like having someone play with their asses. I do. Why shouldn’t I use my boy to give me pleasure? It doesn’t change who’s in charge. Does it Mabon?” “No, Sir” Pozboy blushed as he whispered to Dave “I told you to keep that name quiet. Bloody hate it, I do.” “I don’t know. I thought it was rather appropriate for you.” Aside to Dave: “It’s Welsh. Means son, boy, young man.” The phone rings... “Hi Ken – how’s things going? No, not right now... Have to get a few odds and ends from the shops otherwise just a quiet Saturday. Yeah sure... come on over. See you in a bit.” “Dave, are you sticking around today or are you off?” Dave looks vaguely surprised at the question “If you don’t mind me sticking around Sir...” “Okay then, the two of you get this lot cleared up, clean yourselves up and get dressed. Pozboy: DMs, leather shorts and your collar. Dave: jeans, t-shirt and boots you were wearing last night. Oh, and Pozboy: bring me another collar when you come back downstairs.” The boys set about getting ready while I changed into my standard black singlet and jeans I usually wear when staying around the house. After a moment’s thought I put on a pair of boots too, even though I usually walk around barefoot. Well, at least it’s going to be an educational morning for the boys, I thought making my way back downstairs. In a few minutes they appear in the living room and Pozboy presents me with the plain collar. “Dave, kneel down here. You’re still sure you want to do this?” He nodded “Yes Sir. Still keep running it through my mind and I know it’s right for me.” “In that case, you’ll wear this whenever you’re in this house. Well apart from showering or sleeping, of course.” I fasten the collar around his neck. “Thank you, Sir.” He leaned down and kissed each of my boots in turn. A nice touch... The doorbell rings. “I think the junior sub should get that.” Dave immediately heads for the front door, while Pozboy has something of a smirk on his face. I think he’s anticipating Dave getting pozzed up, kinda counting his chickens before they’re hatched. After all Dave might decide that he doesn’t want to share and wants a one to one with someone else, or he might want to be a free agent. He’s only the junior sub till he’s pozzed. We make a further decision then. “Please, come in, Sirs,” Shit, I think, he’s laying it on thick for Ken and Max, but then he hasn’t met them before. “In the living room Ken” I shout. Dave ushers them in. After greetings, Ken pulls out papers from a folder: potential covers for the new DVD. “I’ve printed all the stills out and I’ve done mock-up covers of what I reckon are the best three. And I’ve got that one scene on DVD with me too.” Pozboy is looking at them curiously, while Dave looks shocked. There’s a little non-verbal exchange between Pozboy and Dave in which Dave asks if that’s really me in the photos and Pozboy responds somewhat smugly that it is. “Yeah, definitely this front cover, if the scene is usable” I say, indicating the one where Pozboy’s hand has trailed cum over just half of my mouth, and I like this back cover, a series of twenty photos in sequence of Pozboy’s hand smearing cum over me. “But you never know, you might find better shots as we carry on filming – any ideas on a title yet?” “Not really, We’ll think of something in the end. Want to see the scene from the other night?” I nod. “Max, sort the DVD out.” I settle back in my chair with the boys on the floor, each holding onto a leg. I catch Ken’s eye and indicate he should keep an eye on Dave. Ken keeps a poker face as the scene starts. It’s not bad, but not as good as it could have been, partly due to Pozboy’s awareness of the camera, and occasional hesitation as though he feared he was going too far with me. In contrast Max appears completely oblivious to the camera’s presence. I rapidly search for a reason as to why it doesn’t work other than Pozboy’s inexperience... “It’s good, but it doesn’t work: we’ve got a continuity problem if Pozboy does any more in that he doesn’t have a tattoo in that scene and he does now, and nice an idea as it was lads, I don’t think the simultaneous spitroast works. You can’t choreograph rape. What do you think Ken?” “Sorry, Poz, I tend to agree with you. I thought the same myself. And to be honest, I don’t think the blindfold works either. So new cover photos too.” “A pretty comprehensive balls-up, then. You could always call it a rehearsal and use it as a freebie teaser on your site, and then add it to the DVD as an extra...” “Good point. There’s some good action there: shame to waste it.” “Damn right!” I say, thinking of my sore ass after the filming. Max had worked well at his role and I’d been fucking sore afterwards. Meanwhile Max has re-started the disc from the beginning. He glances over at Ken who nods and then comes and kneels in front of me. He nuzzles my crotch kissing my cock through the denim before kneeling upright: “Sir, I’m sorry that scene didn’t work. It was my fault: I was leading Pozboy and I was trying to be clever.” “Oh, fuck, not another one. I’ve had Pozboy feeling guilty about the whole damn thing and Dave wondering how I could let the two of you do that. It was fucking acting: it just didn’t work out the way we hoped. And you needn’t look like butter wouldn’t melt, Ken: tell me you haven’t had quick one off the wrist watching it.” “Okay – you got me,” he grins. “Good: that’s what the DVDs are about....” “It’s just that my feeling about this scene is that we need to work out some sort of loose script rather than go for total improvisation like we did before. It works much of the time, I mean, it’s what we built our reputation on.” “Right, so that’s why it was so important it couldn’t wait till Monday.” I say drily. “Max is going home on Monday: won’t be back for a couple of months....” “...so you want to remake the rape scene this weekend?” “Well, today, actually: I’ve got someone lined up to fist him tomorrow.” “Why do I feel I’m being talked into a corner? What?” Dave is tugging at my arm for attention. “Sir, could I be involved?” “Revenge already?” I laugh. “I guess that depends on the director.” I look over to Ken “If we can work out a way to use him in this scene he absolutely does not get fucked. His ass is mine until he tests positive...”

Standard euphemism here is that safer sex "needs discussion"

A genuine (not internet) ten or eleven incher, and thick with it. Extremely skilled fucker who managed to get through my second sphincter. I could only just get his soft dick in my mouth and he was a grower... Although he came in me there was no way I could cum (though I did twice in fast succession the next day with minimal porn) because viagra tends to keep me hard but inhibits coming. When he went I was well aware of having been fucked but not sore. That came the next day when muscles of my thighs tried to seize up on me - I could barely walk!

How accurate is the geolocation thing for you? I'm on a cable connection and it shows the location of the hub for the area I live in, so it's out by about four miles as I live in a village of the outskirts of the town. I always give Neath as where I live rather than being more specific and naming the village: turn up in the village and most people could tell you where I live.

Of course you're worried: your fears about HIV have been a major part of your life for quite some time and now they're about to be revealed as groundless, leaving you without something that's been, possibly, a repository for other fears you might have in life. Certainly it's been something that's allowed you to be the centre of attention. Perhaps it might be an idea to book an appointment with a therapist now so that there's less of a gap between you doing the test and seeing a therapist to talk over the implications of the result of the test.

I'd think you're taking a bigger risk crossing the road. Yes, you almost certainly acquired a few copies of the virus, but the truvada in your system will clobber them. Hell, even without the truvada, if he's undetectable his cum won't contain enough HIV to establish a successful infection, even though viral load in semen tends to lag behind blood VL. So you're in a belt and braces situation - double protection. PrEP isn't licensed in the UK yet: they're just coming to the end of the preliminary study and then have a further 2 year full study to do before it can be licensed (why we can't just accept the word of the USA on this, I don't know). Even with my undetectable viral load I'm cagey about fucking non-poz guys (personal thing around over-cautiousness I'm working through). If he were on PrEP, I'd be okay about it. I'm another HIV educator...

I'm here! I've just spent the afternoon getting my ass wrecked by an escort because I got so sick of the "please fuck me Daddy" crowd. Is it just poz guys though? I've noticed a growing division amongst those who don't identify as poz into being either top or bottom. It's maybe not as bad as strictly top or bottom here but versatile top seems to mean "I'll let you into my hole if it's absolutely the only way we can fuck" and versatile bottom means "I'll fuck you if I really have to" while true versatile doesn't seem to exist in most guys' minds.

Undetectable is variable and depends on the lab: some labs say that less than forty copies of the virus counts as undetectable, others fifty, or even seventy. A few years ago it was four or five hundred. The vast majority of undetectable guys will be on meds, but it's possible to be undetectable and not on meds - just very unusual. We use a different definition of aids in the UK (for example we don't use the "less than 200 CD4 cells" part of the US definition) and most doctors talk in terms of degrees of severity of HIV disease. What America defines as aids tends to be stage C3 HIV disease here, and it's perfectly possible for someone to be at that stage and have an undetectable viral load: my last partner was ill for four years before he died and was undetectable for all but the first couple of months of his illness. In his case the virus had already done the damage and he was ill with MAI; his CD4 count never got above about 125 throughout his illness, but his was a late diagnosis that illustrates the need to test regularly in order to catch the little bastard early, if you test positive.