tallslenderguy

It's a fun topic, and i jokingly chose a random, high number. After a day of cruising, it was not unusual for me to have difficulty remembering how many guys that day, let alone how many over a lifetime. But honestly, it's never been about the numbers for me. It was about the craving for connection in that magical way with another guy. The bonding of mutual desire and a very intimate level. i cannot think of any other experience where two people can touch each and have a soul exchange with an otherwise stranger, in a relatively short time. The saying: "make love, not war," comes to mind. Imagine if mankind spent its hormonal energy fucking instead of killing and destroying what a different world this would be? The act crosses so many boundaries. Definitely better and more effective than a handshake.

i wrote back channel to one of the conversation participants who asked, that i'm "exaggerating." sorry, i was playing around, thought others would catch on i was inflating :-). For those truly interested, i have not been fucked >1000 this year lol. About 3-5x a week this year, it varies. Prior to the internet and apps? 3-5x a day wasn't unusual, i suspect for a lot of us. Cruisy places were where we hooked up, and they were public parks, restrooms, BH, Adult book stores, etc.. It was not unusual at all to get fucked 3-5x, one right after the other in a hormonal feeding frenzy by Guys watching you get fucked by Another. It was rare for me to go to a cruising location and not get bred. Even when the internet first started, i got a lot of Guys in AOL chatrooms. It was new. And CL? Place an ad and Guys would respond. i got a lot of anonymous walk in that way. I think it's not as quick or easy hooking up with aps in today's cruising world.

i was joking. i've never counted, but i've been getting fucked for 40 years and just doing dirty math. This year has been a light year, and >1000 just this year. So, who knows when there are years when i was getting several a day? It's a wonderful life... in keeping with the situation. ❤️

This morning. my awesome FB. He leaves me feeling like a rag doll. He's this mass of muscle and He alternates between kissing my back and shoulders while He fucks, lying on top of me, and mostly pounding hard. i feel so amazing after. He really likes how i squeeze His cock when He's inside me, so i do that a lot and milk Him that way. When i suck Him, i rub His cock tip on my face and get His pre cum all over. Today i told Him i do that to get His scent on me, so every time i breath for hours after He is gone, i still can smell Him on me. He seemed to like that.

i lost count after 707,231

Okay, this is gonna be longish. i went back a half hour, presumptuously, because of your comment that your "ranting" started the last fifteen minutes... so i may have taken you too literally (though in my defense, i did go back 30 minutes lol). Right before writing my response though, you rescued me from my folly and i went back to the 20' mark and listed to Jons question, and the subsequent response, so i'll start there. At ~20' mark Jon asks: "Did they conceive of immigration. Did they see themselves as homogenous. Did they view the fissures between, let's say, Baptist and Lutheran and Calvinist and Quaker. Did they view those fissures as anything other than just disagreement civically, or did they see some of those things as more uniquely American. Did they think Protestant was American. Catholic was, well, maybe we can teach them?" Guelzo responds, as you mentioned, with a reference to black in the military, citing Washington... but i think he also replies to the religion question, though not specifically using any of the four Christian sects, he uses Jewish religion... but the quote from Washington, and the point being made doesn't strike me as a deflection, maybe even more inclusive since he (Washington) included Jewish religion? i agree that (and even wish) that there was more discussion on religion, but i think his response was less specific in maybe an attempt to include race vs exclude religion? He answers: "The leader of the Jewish congregation in Newport Rhode Island, write to him. They're very anxious. What's going to be our future. Are we going to be part of this American experiment? And his response, which i strongly suspect was written by Alexander Hamilton, "this government gives to bigotry no sanction, gives to persecution, no assistance, and asks only that the members of it behave as good citizens." It's the only standard that Washington lays out." At the ~54' mark, Jon asks: ...what is the bias [lists nations of origin then asks]: "Who are the heritage Americans?... "is it their religion? Is it where they are from? Their complexion?" At ~1:03 Guelzo, i think, responds more to the whole question instead of parsing out just religion. To me, he seems to respond to Jons list as a group vs individually. While i think religion has played a far bigger role in this country than this discussion goes into, i do not get the feel the respondents were avoiding or deflecting? Guelzo responds: "...Some say-if you're going to have a nation, it must be built out of these very solid materials, like race, or religion, or language, or culture." So, Guelzo includes religion on a an inclusive list that he juxtaposes against building a nation on an "idea." He goes on for a bit on the divisiveness of those "materials," and ends up with an all encompassing , (and hopefully less divisive?) label ("title") of "citizen" for those who would be part of the "American experiment." I wonder if he is looking to find a way to supersede (transcend?) the former list of what "some say... a nation must be built of"? He concludes: "Everything else [including religion?] is temporary. Everything else is improvisatory." A conclusion that would no doubt have the writers of the pledge of allegiance up in arms, not to mention those who wrote the Declaration "...all men are created equal, endowed by their creator....." Hmm, maybe some gay influence, writing of how men are "endowed?" Guelzo goes on to grouse that he's been labeled "...everything from a Trotskyist to a Christian Nationalist." Which may speak more to the perception of the hearers than the state of being of Guelzo? At the 1:13:30' mark, Guelzo seems to depart from quoting elitists, as does Freeman. They both end by quoting a 'common?' citizen: Guelzo quotes a Swedish immigrant writing to his family in Sweden: "....my cap is not worn out by having to take it off when a rich man rides by in his carriage." Freeman quotes a "someone" (apparently another non elitist? "...when i'm on the street, i do not need to bow down to someone, i can actually stand up." If nothing else, this post is colorful? my response to the video has been adjusted though, added too? i do think Jon's interview (and most discussions of this sort) would benefit from inclusion of someone from the proverbial 'other side.' i wonder if he could have gotten a history professor from Hillsdale College?

I asked @tobetrained if it was okay to share my private responses publicly and he gave the okay. i want to be clear as well, how much i value him and his thoughtful replies. To me, it's nothing but good and healthy to present views that add different perspective in these discussions. i'm not even an amateur when it comes to history, so sometimes i feel like i'm coming from a place of ignorance, i am grateful for shared knowledge and opinion. These are my private responses, unmodified and sans @tobetrained replies, but most of the content is in the preceding entry above and hopefully this won't be confusing: First Response: Hey, thanks for sending this and i think it's fine for you to add it to the online discussion. You seem better informed about history than me. The challenge for me is i am not a professional historian, so not unlike the discussion we have had about healthcare, i end up extending trust to authorities who do have a background. With science, i have enough understanding that i can look for evidence when someone makes a claim, which to me is the next layer up from "authority." Scientists have to publish claims in journals, then other authorities get the opportunity to pic it apart. i guess historians publish papers too, and others can pic their claims and assertions apart, but the how of substantiating history is different than science. Not something that can be replicated in an independent double blind study. Take the bible for instance.... i'm a little familiar with that. Lots of versions, lots of debate. i appreciate your questioning, disputing claims that might go right over my or others heads, but how do we choose between your (or anyones) conclusions or another's? Second Response: idk... i appreciate your questions, and oft opposing view point. i need to re-watch with an eye towards your points. i do not get the impression that Richardson is purposely manipulative, maybe inadvertently so due to unconscious bias? This is my first encounter with Guelzo. When it comes to "who knows," and sources you listed. i confess i'm used to more specific citations that can be substantiated lol. When i read that in your original post, it was sort of overwhelming. my feel was, i'd have to read entire books or go through several courses that i do not have subscriptions too.... By comparison, when i am having a healthcare discussion with someone about a possible intervention, i would cite a specific study, paragraph, etc., with a link to the actual point i am making. i do not know if such a method is available in this discussion? i'm currently rewatching the last half hour of the video with with @tobetrained 's input about deflected question re religion. Hopefully i'll catch what he is pointing out. i'm watching the last half hour, even though he notes it in the last 15 minutes 🙂

❤️

EEeek. That's one party i'd skip, i was being more ethereal when referring to the "universe", more like gratitude to invisible influences out there... if there are any, for such a wonderful connection with another Guy. It's not really rational or born out of any specific belief, more like i am overwhelmed by feeling so good and grateful, i just want to include anyone or anything responsible in my gratitude.

i'm reading a common theme: "gratitude." i definitely feel that, and it extends to the universe lol.

i relish connecting with a Guy wholly. i do not experience (or want to experience) sex in a one sided way. i am not doing Him a favor, and He is not doing me a favor. We both want to fulfill, please and be pleased by each other. We are naturally attracted to each other and experience connection, and maybe even a bond, in a symbiotic act. If it's quid-pro-quo, i'll pass till i find the right Guy Who wants/needs me as much as i want/need Him.

Two times today, earlier at about 1030 this morning, then about 15 minutes ago. This morning was a new guy, young guy who hit me up on squirt, says he's married to a woman and he'd never been with t guy before... pretty sure that's true. He was really nervous the first time. i set it up as anonymous walk in and made it as comfortable as i could for Him. me naked and ass up waiting, door open. He was so nervous the first time that He couldn't get hard, so i offered to suck Him and He came really quickly, only semi hard. He's a really sweet guy, gives off a great vibe so it's really natural and easy to love on Him. This time, He really wanted to succeed with fucking me, and with a bit of encouragement, He did. Was a totally sweet breed. He left happy and was writing an hour later saying He was hard and wanting to "pound me." i didn't jack off, i really prefer not to cum using my penis, i love if i getting fucked often enough, to have my Tops orgasm be my orgasm. i love the intensity of going a long while without cumming, it really makes receiving more intense for me both physically and psychologically. i think it makes it better for the Top too, because i'm pretty voracious to give Him pleasure lol. So my sweet FB left happy, and i'm of course totally happy too. That dazed after feeling lasts for hours with me, and i have His cock scent all over my face so every time i take a breath, i'm breathing Him in. Fuck, i'm high from both of them.

The last two days, my long time FB. i was in Hawaii for a week, so seems we both went through some withdrawal. While i'm bottom, there's a part of me that really loves to give pleasure to my Guy, and he loves to be penetrated and fucked, though i do not cum in him. One thing i really love about the close to 1000 times He has bred me (every time we are together) is that i have never cum having sex with Him. i have discovered how satiated, satisfied, i can be having a Guys orgasm inside of me and experiencing His orgasm as mine when He has it inside of me. i tried viagra for awhile, so i could get around my brain and be able to fuck and give him what he wants, but i had some really bad side effects, so i told him about a month ago that i was taking it for him, but had to stop. He was totally cool about it, and it sort of re-energized the Top in Him, but there has been a couple of times since stopping with the viagra that i've just spontaneously gotten hard and fucked him. Last two days were the second and third time that has happened. After, it seems like He went twice as long fucking me than He usually does, and He has a lot of stamina just on a usual basis. He's a body builder, so when He plows me, it's a major pounding for a long time. It's so fucking awesome, i feel like a rag doll by the time He nuts in me, and He seems particularly happy as well. life is good.

i too am concerned about the importance of competition as a factor of growth, creativity and innovation. On the flip side, i think some things like pharmaceutical development could benefit from removing the 'middleman' profit taking element that often exists in a competitive dynamic. The current system of drug development by profit taking pharmaceutical companies is largely subsidized by our tax dollars. Why not take those same tax dollars and hire scientists directly to develop medications. We could incentivize competition by paying bonuses on things like finding cures vs med management of disease, to name just one area that pharma exploits for profit. Scientists can compete amongst themselves and incentives can be paid directly to those doing the research while eliminating the middle person who doubles cost in profit taking. i do not believe socialism should be universal, but is there a place for socialism with modifiers that encourages competition while eliminating non productive elements that simply profit off anothers efforts without producing anything of social value in return? "Indicators suggest that the biopharmaceutical industry, which is largely enabled by government investments in basic research, is thriving. From 2000-2019, U.S. spending on pharmaceuticals increased from $253 to $345 billion.... The increase in pharmaceutical sales has also generated enormous profits for the pharmaceutical industry. In another study, we recently showed that from 2000 to 2018, 35 large pharmaceutical companies had cumulative revenue of $11.5 trillion and net income (earnings) of $1.9 trillion. Moreover, that study also showed that large pharmaceutical companies had median net income margins of 13.8%, significantly greater than those of other large corporations in the S&P 500 (7.7%) and similar to those of other research-driven companies." [think before following links] https://www.ineteconomics.org/perspectives/blog/us-tax-dollars-funded-every-new-pharmaceutical-in-the-last-decade

"People infected with HIV must take antiretroviral drugs for life. But engineered antibodies appeared to suppress the virus for certain participants in recent trials in Africa and Europe" "In one of the trials—the FRESH trial, led by virologist Thumbi Ndung’u of the University of KwaZulu-Natal and the Africa Health Research Institute in South Africa—4 of 20 participants maintained undetectable levels of HIV for a median of 1.5 years without taking antiretrovirals. In the other, the RIO trial set in the United Kingdom and Denmark and led by Sarah Fidler, a clinical doctor and HIV research expert at Imperial College London, 6 of 34 HIV-positive participants have maintained viral control for at least two years." [think before following links] https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/new-trials-hint-that-functional-cure-for-hiv-may-be-within-reach-helping-some-patients-achieve-lasting-remission-180987767/

On the other hand, there are guys on BZ who do want to discuss politics, so BZ has been kind enough to provide space for such discussion in this separate section. Chances are, if you do not click on the specific section of "LGBT Politics," you will not encounter any posts discussing politics. No snark here, just looking to provide info for you. ❤️

First off, thank you for qualifying the direction of your anger and rant... i'm a sensitive guy (only half tongue in cheek) and really love a guys affection and connection, mutual appreciation for each other is something i live for with guys. While i may rationally automatically make distinction, i'd be lying if i said my feelings always manage to respond realistically. i think my grasp on some of the things we discuss (e.g., economics) barely approaches rudimentary. You often come off as authoritative to me in the way you write and part of me becomes cautious, while another part of me bends over and presents lol. The challenges of being human, eh? Both rational and emotional, and they often do not align. While a part of me my shy from some of how and what you write, the other part of me wants and appreciates perspective, and possible insight, i do not have. Of course, i have the same challenges with guys like Wolff, so being exposed to both in a sort of debate approach, helps inform and broaden my limited understanding. So, very much appreciate your points and perspective above, and your willingness to muscle through. This may be silly or absurd to you, but one trail my mind went down from one of your comments was re markets and price. i honestly do not know Marxist theory, but believe that communism is a dismal failure when it comes to serving the needs of humanity. So, if Wolff is promoting communism by being Marxist, or if that is a direction he espouses, i'd be angry as well. i am pretty familiar with communism and how it harms. To my first sentence in this paragraph, i do not like to buy products made in China, especially when the company is Chinese owned: things like slave labor and CCP control of pricing, among other things, designed to flood and undermine western markets with lower prices. That is not a competitive market that serves humanity, but instead is an aggressive act of an authoritarian government to undermine other countries, while exploiting the Chinese people.

More recently in my journey, i've come to understand a distinction (for me) between feminization and emasculation. For me, while the two can intersect or overlap, they are also two distinct things. i don't feel like i am a trans person, or that i am a woman in a guys body. i do feel like i have attributes of both genders, but more like a guy with some female parts? And some of my sexual need/desire wiring maybe is not necessarily gender related, but can get evoked by certain Guys Who see or want me in a particular way. For example, i have a FuckBuddy (FB) Who i get together with 3-4x a week for almost 6 years now. He's a Bi Latino, 28 years old and has been a body builder since age 13. If i saw Him on the street, i would not be attracted to Him visually, my response would be neutral. Psychologically though? He's managed to (inadvertently?) bond me and sort of possess me. Part of His make up is how i came to understand the "emasculation" part of me. He's not very verbally expressive when it comes to His psychological wiring, but over time, i've been able to understand from how He is with me, and occasional terms He uses. One time He shyly used a term with me that He "likes to bitch" me. Over time i've gotten a more detailed understanding of what that means to Him and how we have formed a very strong bond. He's probably bred me close to a thousand times now. Because He is Bi, also i think His Latino culture figures in, He is on the DL, so i never contact Him, He always is the initiator, and to this day i am still a little surprised we are a thing. But He continues to want to get with me 3-4x a week. Over time, what we do has varied, but all vanilla stuff, it always ends with me prone underneath Him and Him inseminating me. Always. i'm a tall skinny older guy, and He's this very muscular younger Guy, so i feel very dominated under Him, but never in a forceful or mean way, and that is part of the mind fuck for me. i think for Him, He sees and feels with me , in many ways, like He does with a woman (i'm pretty sure i'm the only guy He has been with). Thus the term "bitch" me. But it's way more than that. He holds and controls my body in, again strong but gentle ways while He is fucking me, maybe like He would treat a woman? Recently He has started doing this thing, that really cemented it for me, where He reaches under with both of His hands while He is plowing me and holds my chest like maybe He would hold a womans breasts... and the psychological effect it has on me is profound. i feel totally possessed and emasculated when He does that. There are other ways He holds my waste and hips to assert gentle, strong, purposeful control that take me to a similar place, 'bitch me.' The effect is so real, not role play at all,, like we are both experiencing something in those moments that connects and bonds us deeply. It never gets old, and i always profound.

The Swedes are better at socialism too.

i get this. i don't want tp be misunderstood. i put the Trump and his inner circle in a similar grouping as Xi Jinping, Putin, with some Hitler overtones. i do not have the tiniest bit of trust for him/them (and i have looked hard for any reason to). my personal take on trump is he is a sociopath, narcissistic nihilist en extremis, i do not think he, and those he has chosen as his inner circle, are equipped or appropriate to lead. What i see as a "maybe" silver lining is the possibility that more Americans are awake and engaged now. i think some of the discussions we are having in the political section of BZ get into a lot of details. While i appreciate and think the micro is important because it makes up the macro, i think at this point we have more hope of overall change in the right direction if this current regime goes away. i'm hoping the "disruption" will not be for naught, and will not result in a return to the former status quo. i do think the article tobetrained linked is an example of Sinema using the opportunity provided by disruption to get something good done. i see Kennedy Jr as unqualified and consequently subject to being swayed... some of those seeking to sway him may have valid and appropriate agenda, others not. For the most part, this administration strikes me as ham fisted where trustworthy, skilled and experienced surgeons hands are required. If there is a silver lining to this massive storm cloud, i think it would be more people in this country are engaged in questioning who we trust to govern, and why.

Read the entire article, thanks for posting it. Honestly, it gives me a better sense of you (i think), something i have be grasping at. Though of course, that's a side lane, eh? i've referred to the current regime as maybe having a silver lining. i feel Kyrsten Sinema takes a similar tone (though we might not be on the same piece of music) when she refers to the Trump administration as "disruptive." She sees "disruptive " provides "opportunities." i don't see the "time we are in" as... "magical," but then, i haven't taken the psychedelics that she has (and only half my tongue is in my cheek when i write that). i don't think Kennedy Jr is qualified to head up the department of Health and Human Services. He reminds me of the patient who has no medical, biology, science training, but watches a youtube video and makes an emotional decision based on their trust of someone asserting authority on a topic. i don't mind that he's questioning, i think he is not qualified to decide the answers to many of the questions he asks. i'm a medical professional (well, i was before the current Dept of Education decided i am not ), and i voted in favor of prop 109 November 2020 that allows the regulated medical use of psilocybin, the active compound in magic mushrooms. More recent research has discovered the effects of psychedelics on neuroplasticity... long story short, ramifications on treating issues like depression. [think before following links] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.724606/full my short answer would be, i think we should never lose, or set aside? " challenging views on how the country is run. To me, that is the essence of a democratic system. or at least ideally should be?

thanks tobetrained. i went to the link and here is a video of Richard Wolff from his site. [think before following links] https://www.democracyatwork.info/global_capitalism_affordability_why_so_much_costs_too_much_and_what_to_do_about_it

Yesterday. A new Guy, been chatting me up on Squirt. He'd never been with a guy before, so i set it up for Him to have anonymous walk in where i was waiting naked and ass up on my bed, door open. i've done this method for years with hook up, but the last several it's pretty much just been my FB (see above post lol). So we've talked for a few weeks and yesterday He decided to go for it. When He got to my house, He was wearing a hoodie (i always watch hook ups approaching through a window). When He contacted me He told me He was excited but very nervous, so i ,made it as easy for Him as i could. He came in and i stayed face down, so didn't see Him, and he took His jeans off, but left His hoodie on. i could tell He was trying to get hard, but He was nervous so i offered to suck Him. i'm pretty passionate, if i hook with a Guy, i'm all in and i love pleasuring a Guy and Guys can usually sense when it's not just mechanically going through the motions. He sort of got panicked and told me He was going to cum, which of course just encouraged me more, and He shot His load down my throat and continued to milk Him till He went soft. It was so fucking hot and sweet, He obviously enjoyed it, and that always fulfills me. As He left He said: "I'll definitely be back." After He left, He texted me: "you've got a hell of a mouth." Then added: "I can't wait to be 100% comfortable and do what ever i wanted to you."

Wednesday and Thursday my long time FB i write about often. 6 years now, 2-4x a week, still as sweet and awesome as ever, and we remain pretty much fuck buddies. Sometime nearer the beginning of the year he went from me rimming him to me fucking him. That was hit or miss, though i explained to him i'm very bottom, he didn't really grasp what that meant. He's bi and i'm the only guy he fucks around with. So i got a script for viagra so i could get hard for him, and then at 2-4x a week taking it, i was getting side effects. It took me a while to figure it out, i'd never have guessed that viagra could cause back and joint pain, gastric issues? i stopped taking it and all the symptoms cleared. i ended up telling him, he didn't realize i'd been taking it, and he was really cool about it. i thought i might lose him over that, because he really liked getting fucked, never bred him, just fucked him till he got so horny He flip me and breed me. Probably getting close to 1000 loads of His seed now :-). So now, He's back to me sucking Him and Him fucking me, like the first 5 years and He's started doing this thing that really mind fucks me. He's always gotten into "bitching me," He has the way of touching and holding me that makes me feel very possessed. i'm always face down and under Him, and now He's doing this thing where He reaches under me and holds my chest in His hands, sort of like i have tits? Idk, but it really drives me wild, no one has ever done that before, and for some reason, it's added a layer of me craving Him when i think of Him.