I had a lover about 10 years ago. We were off and on Lover's for 7 years. We were both active duty at the time. We were on opposite deployment cycles so out of 18 months we only saw we each 6 months. He was still in the closet and on the fence so to speak. But we always barebacked. I love his fat 7 inch cock. He lived it four different places over the years and at each place I was the first one he fucked the first night. I was married at the time but knew I was gay. At the end he had been home three months and got knocked up just before I got home. I wanted his cock so bad. But he would not fuck me. Then he got his final test positive and told me. I wish I could say I said it did not matter and we fucked anyway. But I can't. I had to think of my wife and my marriage. I feel like a hypocrite now looking back. Since now I am still negative and will take any cock anytime neg or POZ. I am no longer married. And live as a gay man. I can truly say I could have loved him. Regrets of life.