subbytch
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Everything posted by subbytch
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No, it sounds pretty normal, actually. I love rough sex. But I love it with someone or someones I trust. I think my sexual life would be a little easier if I could just be used and abused by any person. To let down my guard enough to be used the way I want, that has to be with someone I synch up with. I haven't quite figured out how -far- I'd go with someone I trust. Who knows? Maybe I'd let him and his friends use me, as long as I knew I wasn't going to wind up dead as a result. The point is, you can do as much or as little with people as you want. You may decide as you get older that you want to explore your fantasies. Or you may decide you like them as spank material, nothing more. But you get to decide, though. And you can change your mind as many times as you'd like. Just whatever you do, don't think you aren't allowed to explore them. They are part of you, for you to enjoy, and for you to find fulfillment in -- however you want to use it.
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Have been for decades. Don't even get dressed when friends come over. Work from home, so that also makes being naked most of the day easier. The funniest thing is, I've met most of my tricks naked at the door. They always seem to think I got naked just for them.
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Thanks. It will be nice to get back to getting fucked. Amazing how much you miss it after having it fairly regularly.
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It depends on the surgery. If you are having a sphincterotomy, that's going to be more intense than having a fissure closed which will be more intense than having an external hemorrhoid removed than having an internal hemorrhoid removed. It's been two weeks since I had the fissure closed and the skin tag removed. The pain after the surgery was a hell of a lot less than the pain from before the surgery. It's taken two weeks for their to be next to no pain from the area. I imagine in two more weeks, there will simply be none. The doc will be able to explain the differences when you go there. Plus, there's always Percoset Still a little concerned about what happens when I start putting things back up there, but such is life.
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Yeah, that's kind of what I've figured. I've tried several different things and it doesn't produce the greatest of results. If only FB came with software updates or installable apps. "DEMENTED FUCKBUD 2.0, Now in the App Store!"
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No obligation to try anything. I just always wondered why I liked it and liked it a pretty specific way: into being a slave, but loved the submissive part of sex. This explains the psychology well. And it tracks with other investigations that show in general, people who like kinky sex aren't disturbed or pathological.
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I'm always fascinated by the psychology of rough sex / kink / bdsm, especially in understanding why I enjoy rough sex so much. As a person who lives in and works via his "head", rough sex is one of the few times I'm actually out of my head and in the moment. Turns out that the most recent research says this is exactly the benefit such sex gives people. Thought I'd share. http://time.com/4511726/bdsm-sex-flow-state-mindfulness/
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I moan, beg, and plead like a girl. Apparently, it's hot to tops. It's a little embarrassing to me. lol -
Can True Submissive Bottoms Reasonably Expect To Stay Neg?
subbytch replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
PrEP and ARVs have made it so one can be a cumdump and not wind up pos. There are still people who might want to be pos, but with the way things have changed, the likelihood of winding up pos has dropped precipitously. -
I've had a fuck buddy for a few years. Over that time, as we've gotten to know each other, he's gotten more dominant, more controlling, and rougher in the bedroom. He's done this at my urging, a slow methodical process to get him more dominant. That's great, but it's also part of the problem. I've pulled him as far as he seems to be able to go. I'd like him to take the initiative, go further, and push back. But that doesn't seem to be in the cards. Note, we're just FB. We went out on a sorta-date a few years ago. Beyond the sexual attraction, there wasn't much more "there" to form any other kind of relationship. I trust the hell out of him in the bedroom, so there's a hell of a lot of things I'd let him do. But I can't seem to get that to register with him. I still seek out other sex partners, but it's sort of hit or miss with them. Mostly miss. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Have you been able to push your FB further long, to be more creative? Or is this this just about where he's most comfortable at and the point is just to accept it, while continuing to look for others to fill other needs?
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The doc removed a skin tag, too. And it hurt. Took a couple of days to heal as well. If it's on the lining of your hole, that is going to need a doc to check too. You also want to have them rule out active HPV or cancer. Honestly, the odds are pretty remote that you have either, but you do need to get that checked out and ruled out.
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Ha. My PCP is a woman, my PrEP doc is gay, and they both recommended the GI doc, who was gay. It actually helped. It was nice to not to get any shocks from a doc when I talk about my sex life. And I've never found it hot when a doc sticks their finger up my ass. For a bottom, it's really uncomfortable, no matter what. I think it's because there's no foreplay. No spanking. No spitting. No nipple twists. It's really clinical, not like trips to the doctor in porn films. I really do recommend a doc you can be open with, though.
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I guess I see that there's a difference between rape and "rape." If you have no say in what's going on, if you didn't ask to have the sex done to you, and can't make it stop at any time, then you are being really raped. From everything I've seen and read, that's psychologically damaging. I'm not up for that. Play-rape, where you are surrendering a lot of control to one or more guys and those guys are going to go at you pretty hard, is something different. I've fantasized about that, have some desire for it, and hope to get something close to it one day. But that's only because I know that I could end it at any time. That makes for a different experience entirely.
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Yeah, that's actually not good with that kind of constant pain. You can have internal hemorrhoids. They don't exactly have any feeling, but they can lead to bloody stools. You can have exterior ones, on the skin around the anus, and those hurt like an SOB. Skin tags don't hurt, but they can be the result of years of shitting. It's also possible you have a really tight ass and aren't using enough lube. The thing is, the only way to get to the bottom of it -- ha! -- is to see a GI doc. If you can see a gay GI doc, that's even better. If you have hemorrhoids or a fissure, they can be healed / fixed. If there's another issue, that needs to be looked at, too.
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I'm suddenly realizing things could have been a hell of a lot worse. lol. Any problems when you first started taking dick again?
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Ha. Yeah. It wasn't...pleasant. And I thought I just had a hemorrhoid, too. "Nope, that's a fissure. Months to heal on its own or I --- Surgery? Sure. See you Wednesday."
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So last month -- pretty much on Election Day -- I wound up with an anal fissure. That's a tear in the mucosa in the anus. Hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. Thought it was a hemorrhoid. Was surprised when I finally got seen that it was the tear that was infected. I was seen on Monday and had ass-surgery the following Wednesday. Crazy. Out of sexual commission for a month, waiting for it to fully heal. The specialist I saw said it was probably no one thing that caused it. A combination of stress, rich foods I don't usually eat, not enough lube during sex and age -- I'm in my mid 40s -- all conspired to cause the rip. I've upped my fiber intake and will be using more lube during sex next time. Has anyone else here had the same thing? After it healed up, how was sex again? Any difference? Better? Worse?
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This is the first year that I've "scored" an STI with every quarterly test. Chlamydia. Doc said either my ass is just very welcoming to Chlamydia or it was the same infection that just likes hanging, so I'm taking 21 days of an antibiotic, no sex, with a retest at the end. Logically, I know there's nothing wrong with having an STI. I also know this isn't an antibiotic resistant version -- "Yeah, that's not it," the doc said -- so like getting a cold, this stuff happens. But there's still this sense that something terrible is happening every time I get one. It's ridiculous. That said, I'm going to switch my testing around a bit. I'm usually quarterly, regardless of if I'm with a regular or a new person. I figure it might be better to get tested every two months, especially if there's someone new I've introduced into the mix.
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The roughest part is cleaning out, knowing I've cleaned out -- two or three douches, the water runs clear, etc. -- but still being scared as fuck more is going to come blasting out. I understand the general mechanics and that we're also fighting a signal that typically means it's time to crap. But I'm amazed at the people who admit they have no feelings of needing to crap when they are being fucked.
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This topic comes up every now and again. There are indeed two groups of people here: one that has no problem being called bitch, another that does. I fucking love it. It's in my profile name. It took me a while to embrace being called a bitch, faggot, cunt, whore... whatever... along with the rough sex that goes along with it. But I do love fucked that way, I moan like a girl, and like to be held afterwards... again like a bitch. All that said, if you call be a bitch outside of the bedroom or a faggot in any kind of context other than sex, we're going to fight. I love letting go of my strong sense of self when I'm fucking around with a guy, being his whole, his and his friend's hole, his total property. That's not the case in the outside world. I'm quite the equal of anyone else. :-)
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At the moment, I can only go for about 10-15 minutes or so before it just gets overwhelming. But that's up from 5 minutes when I started barebacking two years ago. I can actually go again after a short break, say another five or ten minutes, and do it for about as long each time. (One of my buddies comes fast but is ready to come again after a short break.) My goal is to be able to go for an hour or for a night. This one of those projects that I simply love working on.
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If I cum, my prostate is so sensitive, it's agony to continue to be fucked. So I've learned to avoid jerking. And, thankfully, with long sessions, I'm not hard the whole time. Not only does that tend to prevent orgasm, it feels so much more submissive.
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So Have The Standards For Getting Prep Have Been Lowered?
subbytch replied to adam4adam's topic in General Discussion
If your doctor is that big of an idiot, you are going to have to do the educating yourself. He needs to monitor your kidney function every quarter. That's just right out of the CDC guidelines. And quarterly STI testing is best, too. Given the topic of this website, you aren't likely to be using condoms for STI prevention, so regular check ups and treatment for infections is a must. UCSF has a doctor help-line for PrEP. You owe it to your health to both familiarize yourself with the guidelines and ask your doctor to as well. :-) http://nccc.ucsf.edu/2014/09/29/introducing-the-ccc-prepline/ -
Yes, that seems to be one of the other pieces of it. I really want to be a great power bottom. I know you can't will that to happen in a flash. But it may be more of a case to try to "let go" as much as possible, even I guess lean in to my buddy dominating and being in control more. I "know" there's no damage being done to me during the sex, that even whatever pain is there is more pleasure part of the spectrum, so if I can let go of any scared thoughts, I should be able to go a little longer the next time around. In theory, anyway. :-)
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What's The Point Of Taking Anti-Aids Meds?
subbytch replied to milkass's topic in General Discussion
I can compare my actions to yours anytime, including now. I can compare my compassion to your lack of it (which I'm doing now.) You've demonstrated nothing other than your desire to define and target those who "deserve" to suffer. And history is rife with the horrors unleashed when people like you are able to define others as "deserving" of whatever pain befalls them.