I too can relate to a lot of this Rawdawg - in my heart and mind I'm a nasty slut ... but in person I'm not. I guess the reasons for this are multiple. When it comes to barebacking, random hook ups, anon loads etc. I must admit, that one thing holding me back is my health. I know there's a risk connected with bb'ing, and I know being pozzed is not necessarily a death sentence. But I'm not turned on by bb because I consider being pozzed a "goal" in itself ..... I'm turned on by bb'ing because I want to have fun and fuck "natural". However, the thought of being pozzed holds me back from letting loose and enjoying myself. When it comes to other sexual desires and dreams ... like Water Sports etc. what's holding me back is mostly my own "shame" over being turned on by this kind of kink.