mdol1980
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Bitch, Fag, Slave, or Object: what are you or what do you like?
mdol1980 replied to subbytch's topic in General Discussion
One on one, slave, usually in a pretty casual way, no detailed rules or behaviors or anything, just obedience to him and no needs of my own. In the darkroom, kind of object, no restraint involved, but where my head's at on evenings like that is kind of, I have a fleshlight between my legs, the decent thing to do is get on the bench so men can have a go with it - it's not about what I am or whether I feel dehumanised or whatever, just that they're using a hole, that hole happens to be in me, it's a great bonus that I get to feel it being used, but ultimately I'm giving the hole what it needs regardless of what I might get out of it. -
No regrets. I'm not broken loose, but even after plenty of rest my hole's not going to fool anyone that all I do is slip in the occasional finger when taking a shower, and after some lube and a decent warmup (or the first couple of fucks) anything short of a clenched fist is going to slip right in like I'm a well-worn tracksuit with the elastic giving out. I can give a good squeeze (and I do, I try not to be selfish to anyone doing me the favour of warming their cock in me) but I love that I have a thoroughly used manpussy where my asshole used to be. As for the prospect of in the future ruining my ability to hold in what needs to be held in, I'm not specifically aiming to, but if it happens as a byproduct, my feeling now is I'd rather deal with that than back off now and be left wondering.
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If I'm at the sauna it's pretty much expected in the dedicated sex areas, one on one in the private rooms maybe there are a few words before and after, but unless I get led to a room I'll be in the group dark room and nobody much talks. I'm not opposed to a "thanks" or a slap on the ass, but the only compliment I really want is a load inside me. That tells me he enjoyed me, and if he doesn't say a word then to him I may as well have been just a hole, and that's what I'm there to be. (Or since nobody much talks he'd feel awkward if he said anything, could be that too, but let me have my warm fuzzy feelings.)
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First time I think of as being whored out was with a guy I saw semi-regularly for a while, probably would've been much more regularly if it weren't for distance. I'd been shared by other guys often enough and let him know that, and that I was okay with it, so this wasn't out of the blue. After a few chats, which were very promising (and dirty), I'd agreed to go to his place for our first meeting, about an hour on the train. Couple of texts back and forth that morning to confirm we were both still good to meet, then as I'm at the station waiting for a train, I get another message from him saying (words to the effect of, that phone gave up the ghost a while back so I don't have the exact text in front of me), "Hey slut, I've got a friend here, he's going to use you too." No 'is it okay if...', 'would you like...', just 'this is happening'. I mean I had the option of calling it off obviously, and from our chats I was pretty sure (and getting to know him better, I was right) he'd told me like that because he knew I'd love it, and if I'd texted back that I wasn't okay with it he'd have sent his friend home no questions asked. But even so, finding out by text that I'd have a stranger fucking me in a bit over an hour, not being asked but being told, was an amazing rush. (And not to spoil the story but the actual sex was pretty straightforward, I got there, stripped, got on my knees and warmed them up in my mouth, then into the bedroom and gave my guy more oral while his friend fucked me from behind, nothing I hadn't done basically every other threesome I'd been in, so you probably don't need me to outline every detail there. But I'll never complain about good sex, and the lead-up made it special.)
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Bottoms: Girth or length is more important and why?
mdol1980 replied to TsJul69's topic in General Discussion
Haven't got a single bad thing to say about those thick daddies, and obviously both is heavenly, but if I had to pick I feel like maybe I'd pick length. Kind of surprising myself there, I thought it'd be an obvious win for girth, but that's where my brain's landing. Maybe it's just that girth is not hard to come by, if not from dicks then from hands or whatever else is lying around and basically the right shape, I feel like if I go stand in the Long Dick Receiver group I'll still be able to have my cake and eat it too one way or another. And plus, I get a bit of a kick out of the feeling of a cock slipping in and sliding all the way up me without any resistance to speak of, I'm loose but I'm not a gigantic canyon and I've been told I do a nice job of squeezing at the right times so we're not talking about a top going away unsatisfied, but that "I'm a loose fucking slut" feeling, I'm in it for that, and while I can warm up to where even a reasonably thick cock will feel that way, a thinner cock can do it right from the beginning of the evening, and the 'up inside my ribcage' feeling (alright delusion, but it feels good) when a looooong man bottoms out, that's a hell of a thing too. -
Do you regret training your ass to take big toys?
mdol1980 replied to Cypher35's topic in General Discussion
No regrets at all. I'm a loose hole, but I can still squeeze - mind you my natural habitat is the dark room offering myself up to strangers so I suppose nobody's being terribly picky, but I haven't had anyone slip in then pull out in dismay at the state of things, that's all I really need to not feel guilty for inflicting myself on unsuspecting men. For my part, a regular sized cock doesn't give me the rush a big toy or a hand does, but it's not by any means unpleasant - it's even a bit exciting in its own way, the sloppiness reminding me what I've done to myself - and when you get down to it, I'm ultimately there for the feeling of him cumming inside me, and loosening up hasn't diminished that one bit. -
The earliest relevant to the question thoughts I can remember were to do with a friend who had a stash of porn magazines - just a handful and very tame, but we were very young so they were catnip to us anyway. I don't recall how the idea came about but we wound up playing a game of reenacting the photo shoots, and I was automatically the 'porn star' posing nude while my friend 'interviewed' me about how much fun it was to show off my body. The magazines were straight and I was playing the girl (on a couple of the most adventurous occasions I was his 'hooker', but we were too young for anything much physical to happen, just some cuddling and rubbing), but looking back that seems like just lack of any clue at the time that there were other options - I never really found out if my friend wanted to be in charge of things all the time (we weren't that close by the time we'd grown up enough to know what we'd have been talking about to have that conversation) but I clearly remember never wanting to take any other role than the sex object, and those experiences quickly bled into (similarly rudimentary) fantasies on my own time about men seeing me naked. And ironically now my natural habitat is the dark room where nobody's seeing anybody, but now it's clear that just being looked at wasn't really what I was interested in anyway.
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I don't get hard when I'm being fucked, even if it gets to the point of making me spurt, only from jerking myself solo. I've had the occasional guy be dissatisfied that he couldn't masturbate me with any visible result (and one memorable occasional when a guy watching my cam got upset that I was 'wasting his time' if I wasn't going to get hard and cum for him, even though I was just showing my body around and never said I'd do anything more, so that left me in a great mood...) but even ignoring the local dark room and glory holes where it's not even a factor, I've had far more tops either not care at all, or at least not consider it any kind of deal breaker.
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I've been shared many times, the kind of man I gravitate to is the kind who'll want to, but usually that's more a case of 'surprise threesome'. But more years ago than I care to think about, I had a guy message me out of the blue on a site I was on at the time asking if I wanted to be pimped out. He didn't seem overtly crazy, and his profile seemed like it was his kink, so I went along with it. We never met, but he sent me the time and place to go to - I was nervous on my first 'job' but horniness won, I turned up at a middle of the road flat and got used by a nice middle-aged man, didn't end up being hunted for sport in the outback or with my kidneys in an esky full of ice on their way overseas. My 'pimp' evidently got a good report so he kept in contact, for the better part of a year and numerous jobs for a number of his friends/acquaintances before messages became less frequent then finally no more. So a bit of a fizzle-out of an ending, but it was (and still is when I think back) hot as fuck being recruited as a whore by a pimp I never met or really knew anything about.
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I'll echo what others have said about bare cock being far superior to toys, but from my experience practice with toys has its place. Waaaaay back when I first started loosening myself up, it began with a very modest little butt plug, and I think it helped a lot just in terms of communicating to my hole that 'heya, something's going in the out hole' was to be met with 'awesome let's do this' rather than 'wait what?' Just starting, in a very low-stakes no-nervousness way (because seriously, the only way that plug could've hurt me is if I duct taped it to a brick and hit myself in the head with it), to build up muscle memory in my butt that the feeling of penetration automatically caused relaxation, without having to think about it. And of course then upgrading to larger toys and cocks and forearms and what have you, I didn't get loose just by being relaxed with a small plug, that's a given. But I don't think I'd have gotten where I am if I hadn't started with making relaxation automatic then moving up in size. It may not feel like it's achieving anything much to begin with, or even be much of a turn on, but five minutes sliding a modest plug in and out every day will pay for itself big time down the track
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My first fuck I was blindfolded (first two actually, him and his flatmate), and if you'll forgive me mixing metaphors, I never looked back. It was a while before I got my nerve up to start taking genuinely anonymous loads, either blindfolded or in the darkroom, but even in the beginning when I knew who I was with, I also knew it was really getting to me that they knew exactly what they were about to do to me, and I knew basically nothing until it was happening. Darkroom's not 100% the same of course since they can't see me either, but I love it anonymous either way, and being seen by the crowd walking in and out gets me going in the same way even so. But if the opportunity's there I'm always up for a blindfold.
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I'm old enough that my 'apps' for hooking up were just websites... I had some success with them, not a lot compared to the amount of time spent in chat rooms or looking through profiles, but met a few people and had some good times, and I don't think there's any way I'd have had the nerve to get started somewhere like a bathhouse, so that was good. But once I had a few meets under the belt I wasn't wearing and tried out a venue (the first I went to didn't have any bath or sauna type facilities, it was just a 'cruising lounge') I knew I'd found my place. Some good options in Sydney and I can be pretty confident of getting at least a load or two any given evening - very few times has that led to any return engagements away from the venue (nowadays most of the time it's in the dark room so I wouldn't even recognise them if I saw them) so apps/sites have that advantage I guess, but I get what I want from the bathhouse.
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No interesting stories to speak of, but yeah, it's a hell of a thrill. Can't really pin down why, unless it's the feeling of throwing caution to the wind and doing something 'inadvisable' purely because lust says do it - I wouldn't be on hands and knees in a darkroom every couple of days if that kind of thing didn't do anything for me. Mostly I've played with toys that wouldn't be difficult to retrieve, balls with cords attached, that sort of thing, even though the little cord's still trailing out, there's that feeling of the main toy being swallowed up and my hole closing (loosely) after it that gets me going. That plus suitably shaped dildos, double enders for instance. But there are times I just need to do something probably kinda stupid just to get off, most notably a decent sized plug in my collection, with a rectangular base that's squishy enough that I can push it in, and it'll flex enough to let itself be pushed out again without a herculean struggle. Back when I was starting out I used to push it just to the edge of popping in, then I moved up to squeezing one side of the base into me, and finally there came a day when I felt like I was loose enough and everything was moving in and out freely enough that I ignored my better judgement and pushed it fully inside, until all I could feel from outside was my hole held about a centimetre open with the flat bottom of the base sealing me up from the inside. Dumb thing to do? Yep. Felt like I'd discovered a whole new way to fuck myself? Also yep. Has it ever all gone wrong? Not yet, and touch wood it won't, but if it does, I'm not going to pretend it's not my own damn fault. But like I said, that's how I am apparently, doesn't seem like I can shut that impulse in myself down, so may as well ride it and enjoy as long as I can.
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advice What Advice Do You Wish You Could Give Your Younger Self? 😀
mdol1980 replied to Carlos1881's topic in General Discussion
Nothing that'd surprise anyone here I'm sure. I think what I'd try to get across is that taking the plunge on the fantasies I was having wouldn't leave me feeling like I'd done something I wished I could 'take back'. Assuming nothing awful happened of course, I wouldn't be telling myself to go hang around a truck stop on the off chance I got fucked instead of bashed, but there were occasions when looking back I think I was on to a good thing with certain men, and I kept my distance because I wasn't sure it was 'for me'. "Call them back you idiot, set up a second meet, let them turn you into their personal fleshlight," that sort of thing. -
I live for it - having men use me in other ways and settings is great, but dark rooms have always been my obsession. Early days of going to saunas I'd imagine what was going on in there, even when I was elsewhere slowly working my way up the ladder of how far I was willing to go I'd still be thinking about 'one day' going that far, and bit by bit I psyched myself up to being closer to that goal, until I was there. If I was being unnecessarily dramatic I'd definitely say it was my destiny.
