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ErosWired

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  1. ErosWired
    If that is indeed the case, then that would seem to me to argue strongly against doing it. A threefold increase in the effect of poppers could easily put someone over the line into blacking out, or having a blood pressure drop to a dangerous level. And if it were a Top doing it, he could forget about an erection. (Last week I had a Top who came armed with no fewer than 3 (!) bottles of poppers and a bottle of lube. Every thirty seconds or so he’d drip a little more lube on my ass and take another hit of poppers. Lube-poppers, lube-poppers, lube-poppers, over and over…because he lost his hardon after the first three minutes and spent the next hour trying to rub himself hard in the cleft of my ass under the influence of poppers. Hopeless situation.)
  2. ErosWired
    I’m always inspired with confidence by phrases like ‘surgeon and popular TikToker’. The 2D-4D ratio thing as a biomarker for testosterone exposure in utero isn’t as simple as it sounds - other related studies suggest that the effect is also dependent on the sensitivity of the androgen receptor, along with other factors, and everything I read along these lines is careful to qualify any conclusions with ‘suggests’ and ‘may be a factor’. Even this Dr. Raj says ‘interesting but not a rule’. The study in question only measured 144 men, all Korean, which is an awfully small sampling to be drawing a broad conclusion. I’m not even sure that’s enough to ensure you get a fully representative sampling of the spectrum of cock sizes on which to base conclusions, and in any case, correlation does not always point to causality. What I wonder is, if people weren’t absurdly obsessed with penis size, would that study have ever been done? Would that article have ever been written? Would the OP have ever started this topic? Probably not.
  3. ErosWired
    Your view is uninformed. Two major studies, called PARTNER-1 and PARTNER-2, conducted in 2008 and 2018 respectively, firmly established this. Here’s a link to the National Institutes of Health information on the topic: [think before following links] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31056293/
  4. ErosWired
    There was no bondage in it, nor was it particularly rough. Is it the correct link?
  5. ErosWired
    You can no longer afford to think of this in terms of ‘fun’, ‘fantasy’, or ‘consent’. You cannot afford to indulge your own fantasy about him wanting to fuck you - that is something that exists in your mind, not his. His motivation is power and control, and you have given him both. Now, you must prepare yourself for his use of them. What you have done is gravely foolish, and you may well have to pay dearly for your mistake. First, ask yourself what the likely result will be if he exposes you to your family and your employer. How can you mitigate the damage? Is there any way you can preempt his action? Is it possible, for instance, for you to claim that someone has contacted you threatening to use deepfake imagery of you if you don’t comply? The fact that he had the ability to alter your drivers license would suggest that he has the skill to forge any number of false image and video items and documents into a sophisticated blackmail scheme, and give you a chance at plausible deniability. But this may only work if you preemptively report that you’re being blackmailed and that such things may be expected to appear. It would be a very risky gambit, and would depend on the depth to which he has documented your communications. Failing a strategy to prevent the damage, or to mitigate it, you must prepare for the worst. Imagine the worst possible outcome of him exposing you, and make preparation for surviving it. Resolve that you are going to endure, and accept the responsibility for your folly, and continue with your life whatever may befall. When you no longer need to fear what he may do, when you can tell him to do his worst, he will no longer have any power over you; your fear is his source of power.
  6. ErosWired
    No. Hand size has nothing to do with penis size. Foot size has nothing to do with penis size. Nose length has nothing to do with penis size. Skin color has nothing to do with penis size. Hair color has nothing to do with penis size. I could do this all day. I’ve noticed that athletes in contact sports wearing protective cups over their genitals beneath tight-fitting pants appear to have sizable bulges. Go figure. Most successful athletes don’t have itty-bitty hands, because bigger hands usually are an advantage in, say, grip in wrestling or ball handling in football. So that would mean that all wrestlers and all football players must have big cocks, right? No. Athletic ability has nothing to do with penis size. All day long.
  7. ErosWired
    If you’re asking whether they’ll chemically interact to pose a physical risk to your body’s systems and potentially harm or kill you, there’s not a particular known health risk such as there is in mixing poppers with Viagra. But otherwise, of course it isn’t safe. Both alcohol and cannabis can impair your judgment, both alcohol and poppers can cause you to lose consciousness, and any combination of the three is likely to compound the chance that you’ll use too much of them, lose control of yourself and your situation, and thereby put yourself at risk. You want to cumdump - blindfolded - whilst drugged up to the point that you’re falling in and out of consciousness while completely vulnerable to any and every man on the premises who could do anything at all to you? No, it isn’t safe. In fact, if that’s what you’re planning, asking whether the drug combo will make you sick is kind of silly. You’re at worse risk of falling, hitting your head and getting a concussion, asphyxiating on your own vomit, or having your anus torn from having something shoved up it while you’re unconscious.
  8. ErosWired
    I can attest to this from personal experience with my own 12-inch double-headed dildo. All the way in, good and deep…and it would not come out. At the hospital, minimally invasive techniques failed. I was literally waiting for them to come get me for surgery to remove it when I gave one last desperate strain at the toilet and finally pushed it out. In all, I was lucky. The bill was only about $2,000, and they didn’t have to cut my belly open. True fucking story. Frankly, in hindsight, I think what I needed wasn’t a doctor, but a very skilled fister.
  9. ErosWired
    The only time I’ve seen ‘xxx’ in a message was when some spammer sent an image advertising XXX videos. which, anymore, leads me to suspect the video content is probably rather tame. I’ve never had anyone send me electronic kisses, and I think I would find it bizarre for anyone to do so to a complete stranger, even if he were about to violate him intimately. Except - I can see the possibility of it happening with certain types into role-play, and particularly cross-dressers attempting to exhibit a feminine affect. I personally still find that bizarre, but I can see a rational reason behind it.
  10. ErosWired
    If you are infected and aren’t getting tested to find out, you don’t have 10-20 years. More like 3-4, perhaps, until the virus has finished destroying your immune system. Then you will die. It could be quicker. There won’t be anything happy about it. If you get tested, on the other hand, and catch the infection early, you can begin treatment, and possibly have a lifespan approaching normal. I’m not sure what you mean by ‘fertile’, but if you mean ‘able to spread the disease’, that’s reprehensible.
  11. ErosWired
    I think the ‘HIV is no longer a death sentence’ thing needs qualifying. It means that a diagnosis of infection with HIV does not necessarily mean inevitable progression to Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), or that AIDS invariably leads to death. But it still can. HIV is no less deadly than it ever was; we just have better defenses - when we apply them. When we don’t apply them, we’re just as much at risk as everyone who got a death sentence in the ‘80s. I got HIV probably 30 years later, in 2011, and the medical advances did not save me from getting AIDS. The tests did not detect the virus in my body until it had almost finished its work, and yes, it would have been a death sentence for me in 2014 were it not for one savvy nurse and a quirk of my circulatory anatomy that saved me. I was trying to be careful (though not trying hard enough). I wasn’t out actively trying to get the disease and incubate it in my body. Yes, if you get HIV and don’t take the medication you have to take, it is a death sentence. Think of it like renting a room in your house to a serial murderer. You make sure you always keep all the doors locked so he can’t get at you, so you don’t have to worry about him killing you - but he’s in your house, and on the other side of the wall he’s thinking about it, and if he could, he would. You can’t ever, ever, let your guard down. You have to check the locks every single night, just like taking medicine. And even if you take all the medication as directed, you may live, but your quality of life will be less than it could have been, and will decline more steeply as you age. The meds aren’t a get-out-of-jail-free card.
  12. ErosWired
    When asked to describe where he stood on any number of issues, he was quoted as saying something along the lines of, “Pick up any Bible lying around the house and you’ll find what I’m about. It’s all there.” Chilling. I believe it is this drive toward religious rule that, more than anything else, would tip this nation again into civil war. They think they can make everyone else live their beliefs, and they cannot. Americans may have begun to take their liberty for granted, but they are also very accustomed to it, and if you take it from them, you will only make them want it back more fervently. The trouble with a people who have tasted freedom is that they’re like pigs who’ve tasted blood - once tasted, they will always crave it, and become dangerous.
  13. ErosWired
    To everyone else - I spent almost 18 years as a moderator and administrator of a mental health peer-support discussion forum dealing with persons who came in like this looking for help in just this sort of way. Unless you know what the fuck you’re doing, it’s better if you don’t try to offer up your advice. So far, everyone who’s answered has said at least one thing that you should not say to a person dealing with a mental health crisis. Even the most well-meaning attempts at support can backfire badly if you don’t know what you’re doing, so if you don’t, don’t. The best advice anyone offered here was saying that this is the wrong place to ask, and to see a doctor. If a person makes a desperate plea for help because they’re thinking of harming themselves so seriously the’ll end up in the hospital, you do not call them a troll. That’s like finding someone clinging to the edge of a cliff by their fingernails and then walking up and stomping on their fingers. It doesn’t matter if you think the person’s a troll - you don’t take chances in these situations. You don’t fuck around when people’s health and well-being is at stake - you assume it’s legit. No, a person suffering from Major Depressive Disorder, or Bipolar Depression, or Dysthymia, or any of the other things that could be at play here is not “going to get over it”, not without serious professional intervention, and may never entirely be free of it. It’s a serious illness, potentially chronic, potentially treatment-resistant, and advice like that is about as useful as telling someone to let a smile be their umbrella in a downpour. It’s natural for a good-hearted person to want to offer support to someone asking for help, but sometimes saying the wrong thing can be worse than saying nothing.
  14. ErosWired
    Amystrays - Firstly, you do not have to feel this way, and feeling a desire to harm yourself or end your life is a clear sign that your mind is suffering from the influence of one of the several conditions that can affect mood, thought, and self-perception, and cause thoughts of suicide. Depression is possibly the most common among them, and there are multiple types - but there are also multiple ways of approaching treatment, and relief is possible, from therapy, medication, or ideally a combination of the two. From your narrative it seems clear that you are symptomatic, and attention from a mental health care professional is in order. One possible first step might simply be to speak to your regular doctor, who can get you a referral to a specialist in your area to get you evaluated. A systematic evaluation of your condition is vital to finding the best treatment for you as quickly as possible. There are some sites online that provide support, guidance and resources for persons dealing with similar issues. I used to be the administrator of one such, and I encourage you do searches for psychiatric support and try to find one that works for you, though none of them are a substitute for professional help and no one van diagnose your condition online. Breedingzone is absolutely not the place to look for help with this. I advise you to ignore the content of this thread and make your way to a place where you can find the help you need.
  15. ErosWired
    I think such a criterion would probably cut in half the number of cocks that would get inside me. At a leisurely fucking rate of 30 strokes per minute, that’s 150 thrusts in five minutes, and there are plenty of men who don’t need 150 to pop their cork. On the other hand, the man in Atlanta who fucked me for three solid hours, at an average rate of easily twice that…60/minute x 60 minutes x 3 = Christ, that means my cunt took nearly 11,000 thrusts from that very large cock in that one breeding, and he could have kept going. Your mileage may vary.
  16. ErosWired
    The time for “looking to the future” is basically up. It’s not as though there hasn’t been any warning - scientists have been ringing the warning bell about overheating the planet for years, until they’ve just about jerked the chain off the bell, but politicians in the service of greed (and largely on the right) have staunchly opposed any sensible change that would have prevented our turning the planet - the only one available to us - into an oven. Or a washing-machine, if you think in terms of the hurricanes. So all those crotchety red-as-apples don’t-tell-me-what-to-do retirees relocating to Florida have already voted for a near-term future that it’s too late to prevent: Hurricanes in increasing number and severity, and inevitable sea-level rise. They’ll be sitting in paradise waiting to be flooded out or blown out to sea. And when Mother Nature has a shit-fit on them because she’s having hot flashes, and their houses are no longer fit to live in (or standing), what are they going to expect? They’re going to expect the government to bail them out. With tax dollars. And the instant any politician suggests that they pay a nickel more in taxes, they’ll lose their minds in outrage and vote him out of office.
  17. ErosWired
    I have never once denied a Top the use of my cunt - to completion - because of his size. (I would for obvious signs of an STD, but I haven’t faced that, mainly because I usually never get a look at them at all). There have been three or four memorable occasions where I was very proud of myself for having been able to endure it, but I’ve never failed to take one. In my cunt. My mouth is another matter. My mouth isn’t that big, and my jaw doesn’t open very wide, and I can look at a cock of a certain size and think, All he’s going to feel is teeth. I know there isn’t going to be any room for tonguework, I know I’ll be gagging every two seconds, I know I won’t be able to stand having my airway blocked, and by far worst of all, I know I’ll give him bad head. Nothing’s worse than bad head. So I tell them straight up that I’m not saying no, but they won’t enjoy it, and will get much better service from a different bottom with better oral skills. And for those reasons I do turn down Tops interested only in oral. They deserve better than what I can give them.
  18. ErosWired
    I was started on Atripla - which was a royal pain in the ass because you have to time your meals around it - then Triumeq, which had lackluster performance for me, then Genvoya for a while, then Biktarvy for over three years until this failed attempt at Juluca. Now back to Biktarvy. I had no sign of diabetes before I started HIV meds. The only person in my family who ever had it was a great-grandmother. I’m not obese. I eat a reasonable diet, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t use drugs. There’s no reason I should have diabetes. I firmly believe I’m experiencing it as a side effect. So, the price I have to pay for keeping this chronic, incurable disease in check…is another chronic disease that has to be kept in check because it’s potentially lethal. Want to know what’s funny? The medicine I’m prescribed to keep the diabetes in check is known to possibly interact with the components of Biktarvy to cause damage to the kidneys. Hilarious. All you dudes out there saying how much you just can’t wait to get pozzed, realize that, potentially, pozzed=diabetes. Pozzed=kidney damage. Pozzed=daily doses of harsh medication. Now, taking that equivalence, apply it to the sentence “I can’t wait to get pozzed.” ”I can’t wait to get diabetes.” ”I can’t wait to get kidney damage.” ”I can’t wait to get to take a dose of harsh medication every day.” Is that what you’re saying? Because that’s what you’re saying.
  19. ErosWired
    They’re not going to realize it. The brainwashing isn’t a flaw in the concept of America, it’s a feature. The fundamental, founding principle of America isn’t a love of freedom - it’s a belief that a person can love both God and money at the same time. And that’s not possible. People strive to reach these shores because they’re drawn to the “shining city on a hill” like moths to a street light, lured by promises that wealth awaits them in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Haves (the Have-Nots live here too, but nobody likes to talk about them). Once they’re here they find they’ve simply entered a Capitalist (Capital ‘C’ Capitalist) meat-grinder, and they’re the meat. The only way the system can maintain itself is through constant bombardment of consumerist messaging, and endless reminders of Horatio Alger’s vision that a man could could rise to success in America on his own power. Har de har har. It’s a propaganda state so successful that even those who are aware of its nature aren’t immune from it’s effects, because what it promises ought to be true, and we wish so very, very much that they were. We want so desperately to be the kind of good, upright, reliable people we’re told we are, that we can’t bear looking in the mirror. So, no, we’re not going to un-brainwash ourselves any time soon. That would require a national wisdom we have not achieved. I always think of the United States as a 21-year-old nation in a room full of adult nations of mature years. That is to say, a naïve idiot with too much energy who thinks it’s immortal and knows everything. What happens if you give a 21-year-old a credit card with no spending limit? Exactly. For the New World is like Heaven And we’ll all be rich and free Or so we have been told By the Virginia Company. - From Pocahontas
  20. ErosWired
    A collateral question I’ve had for some time now, and can’t seem to get a straight answer for, is what viral load actually, functionally, qualifies as Undetectable for purposes of Untransmittability. The first time I was tested and found to be Undetectable, the threshold for U was a viral load below 200, which is the threshold for Untransmittability established by the PARTNER-1 and PARTNER-2 studies (2008 and 2018 respectively, the latter confirming for receptive anal intercourse). Following that, with improved testing, the threshold for U dropped to below 50. Now, testing precision has brought the threshold to below 20. So, where a person was once Undetectable with a viral load of 199, now he isn’t. Yet according to the science, he still is Untransmittable. Therefore, now, Undetectable=Untransmittable, but Untransmittable (not necessarily = ) Undetectable? It doesn’t help that authorities differ on the level they publish as an Undetectable viral load. Checking today, I find that some say 20, some 50, some 200. My HIV doctor uses 20, and she’s always going on about how sensitive the tests are getting. But she’s mostly interested in keeping the virus from eating me alive, less interested in whether I can fuck someone without putting them at risk - which is a huge issue for me. Unless I’m Untransmittable, I do not, will not, fuck anyone ever again. This last check put my VL at 80. Detectable by two standards, Undetectable by the third. Untransmittable by demonstrated science. So, am I still safe, or an I not? Am I just less Undetectable? Does that mean Undetectable isn’t an absolute state? After all, you can’t be slightly pregnant or very dead - you either are, or you aren’t.
  21. ErosWired
    No one can diagnose your illness over the internet, especially without a physical examination or testing, and no medical professional would claim to do so. Go to the doctor. The symptoms you describe are worrisome in relation to your kidneys.
  22. ErosWired
    Another thing about my situation - and I’ve mentioned this before elsewhere on the forum - I’m the poster boy for meds compliance. I Do Not Miss taking my pill. Ever. Even if you do take it every day, it’s not an ironclad guarantee. I’m slavish about doing it all the right way, to get the absolute maximum edge the medication can give me against the disease - and I’m still in the shape I’m in. There’s nothing I can do to improve on it, nothing I can do to reach this state of ‘hunky-dory’ that guys seem so blithely confident they’re going to cruise along in. If they can, more power to them - but it won’t be because the medication is foolproof, or because the Enemy is sleeping. The Enemy is just waiting, patiently, for its chance. And it can, because it’s not going anywhere.
  23. ErosWired
    I was on Biktarvy, switched to Juluca. Just talked to my doctor, and she’s put me back on the Biktarvy. We’re just going to have to watch the kidney function carefully, and I’m going to need to be drinking water like a fish. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I ought to be goddamn invincible by now. So much for that theory.
  24. ErosWired
    Sounding with actual sounds - that is items made of steel intended as medical instruments for the purpose of urethral insertion - bears little risk of causing bleeding through abrasion, tearing or puncture, as the surface is extremely smooth. You can do it, nevertheless, if you misuse them, applying them at an angle, too quickly, or with too much force. If sanitary protocols are not rigorous, it is very easy to introduce bacteria into the urethra even with genuine sounds. Using any other rigid object stands the risk of damage to the urethral wall, which is extremely delicate. Rough, rapid, or forceful sounding is not recommended. A little bleeding may occur if there is some scratch or abrasion, as may occur if sounds are cheaply made and not absolutely smooth. You may also feel burning when you urinate. In my experience this generally resolves overnight. You should not, however, be peeing clotted blood, torn tissue, pus, or anything other than red blood, and it should not continue bleeding. If it does, that suggests significant damage and/or a urinary tract infection. A UTI is not going to resolve on its own, and will require medical care. Before you sound again (if you ever do after this) be sure to read up on all the do’s and don’ts - you really need to know what you’re doing to sound safely.
  25. ErosWired
    In August my HIV doctor put me on a new medication which she said is just as effective as the one I’d been taking, but would not be as likely to damage my kidneys. She ordered a viral load test to see how it was doing, and I just got the result. It did not do well. Not only did my viral load jump, it quadrupled, to the highest level I’ve seen for nine years, since I was in the hospital with AIDS, and higher than on any other med I’ve taken. This tells me two things: 1) Not all HIV meds are alike or even close to it, and you can’t assume anything; and 2) The goddamn Enemy Virus never sleeps. It may spend years Undetectable, but it’s always there, waiting for any opening, waiting for the smallest crack in the armor, so it can jump right back in to start killing me again. It’s so frustrating, so discouraging. A war without end.

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