ErosWired

I’ve always avoided doing this because I’ve always felt as though I would feel pressure to “perform” for the Top and risk coming across as ungenuine, especially if the Top proved not to be very skilled. Instead, I make it a point to let Tops know that I’m apt to be very verbal (masterpiece of understatement) and thus give them reason to tell me to shut the fuck up if desired. Not that I’m any good at shutting up; I usually end up with a hand stuck in my mouth...

Does the nodding in acknowledgment signal an end to the hooking up? Likewise the introducing/digit swapping? If I’ve particularly enjoyed a fuck it’s not uncommon for me to introduce myself by first name after the fact (always after the complete stranger has thoroughly violated me, mind you) - am I actually doing myself a disservice? I don’t know that I’ve yet to encounter anyone who’s fucked me out in the world, and it’s far more likely they’ll recognize me than I will them. I sometimes wonder, given the amount of anonymous ass I deliver, how often some guy sees me pass and thinks, I’ve had him, balls deep. The question is, and the fear is, is that guy’s thought then, “Need to tap that again” or “Been there, done that”, and how do you prevent it from being the latter beyond doing your best to be a phenomenal fuck?

In the shadowy recesses of most sex dungeons and play spaces, many bathhouses, and every sex club ever devised, is at least one sling. You may have one of your own, if you are an aficionado. Slings are a kind of useful sex furniture suspended from the ceiling, not unlike a hammock except that they are basically dissimilar from a hammock in most respects. Allow me to expound, with the caveat that I have lousy luck in slings. I have been fucked exactly four (4) times so far in slings, and have no idea what I am doing wrong. I can, however, provide a short list of what other people are doing wrong with respect to slings and the men who inhabit them. Foremost, slings are for fucking. The point is for the bottom to climb into the sling, settle in with his legs elevated as though he were in a gynecological exam chair, his ass exposed and vulnerable over the end of the sling, and await the assault. When results are at their best, the assault consists of serial breeding by an array of Tops who take advantage of the available ass in a congenial, hail-fellow-well-met, even perhaps competitive fashion that leaves a pool of commingled semen as a slipping hazard on the floor beneath. In my experience, however, not all men are familiar with this basic function of slings. Over the course of my last two CumUnions, I have made an effort to occupy the sling (for which there is a dedicated room in the bathhouse) for two purposes: 1) to offer my ass to Tops who might prefer not to enter an individual's room, but might do so in a "community room" like a sling room; and 2) to try to discover what prevents me from getting the full sling experience. Each time, I positioned myself carefully in the sling, wore my own leather leg cuffs with snap links for easy positioning on the hanging chain links, and wore a blindfold made from a handmade navy handkerchief with white polka-dots (hankie code for bareback-and-cum-inside). Thus arrayed, ass exposed strategically, suggestive of helpless vulnerability, offering anonymity, and signaling, to those in the know, the willingness to take it bare, I awaited my first eager fuck. I say "eager" in that I have always considered slings more the realm of the aggressive Top, as the modality lends itself to Top control; there being little the bottom can do to set the pace, rhythm or depth of penetration. All to the good, if the Top relishes that kind of control. Each time, with uncanny similarity, the first contact has been from a hand reaching down to fiddle with my cock. At first, I didn't try to conceal it; later I put on my solid steel cock cage. Didn't matter. The hands played with my cock, which was not hard, slapped my balls, attempted to pull my cage down far enough to feed it into my anus(!)... and then departed. I can only assume that if they had been able to get me erect they would have tried to suck me off or jack me until I shot before leaving. The fact that this happened every single time, within minutes of my donning my blindfold, became frustrating. Hands did not limit themselves to my cock. They also enjoyed slapping my ass - then slapping my chest, twisting my nipples, smacking my belly, slapping my thighs, attempting to tickle me over every inch my body (I am not the slightest bit ticklish) and striking my chest with first fists and then knuckles. On my last attempt, the nipple-twisting became so savage that I finally had to say, "Okay, that's enough of that," and then, more emphatically, "I said, THAT'S ENOUGH" and grab the hand that had ignored my original statement. The guy instantly apologized, and I explained to him that the sling was meant for fucking and not for any sort of BDSM activity, which would have required some negotiation up front in any case. Then there are those men whom I have observed using slings when I have not been in them, species discussed in another thread around here somewhere, the Sling Lizard (Slingasaurus obnoxious) and the two varieties of Sling Hog, Slingasus rotundus and Slingasus immovabilis, the latter of which is distinguished by his disagreeable temperament. All of these suffer from the same evident misconception that the sling is a hammock-of-imagined-fantasy or a sort of hammock-with-remote-possibilities. It is, I suppose, possible that they have, in fact, the correct view of the thing, and that those of us who actually expect to get fucked when in a sling are the ones unconnected to reality. Regardless, I have always been careful to limit my sling-time to avoid being misidentified as one of the above fauna, and also to avoid having my goddamn cock smacked off. I welcome any input from those of greater experience with slings who may be able to correct and/or confirm my observations. I would love to add a good sling-bang to my list of life accomplishments, but at my current pace, I fear I will remain among the uninitiated out of sheer ignorance.

Wait a sec before you answer - I know there will be plenty of responses along the lines of “I’m a filthy sex pig and love it” or “The piggier the better” or even just “OINK!”, but take a moment to reflect on the question. I’m a cumdump, and I actually believe, for better or worse, that if a Man says he wants to fuck my ass, that he is entitled to do so. I have experienced a lot - a lot - of depraved, debauched, demeaning, debasing sex at the hands of some very twisted men. But I do not think of myself as a pig, and I never will. ”Pig” connotes something dirty (see also: Pigs and Mud), something unthinking, something less than human, something dishonorable. Yet in the context of male-male sex, it is adopted by some to mean a type of masculine play that revels in extremity, and some even wear it asva badge of honor. What say you? If you fly the Pig flag, why do you do so when “pig” can suggest so much more than bacon? mmmm... bacon.

This is something that concerns me. When I’m being fucked, I’m noisy - a guy in the next bathhouse room once said, “Damn, guy, you are loud!” - and I cannot. help. it. But I often worry that bystanders (and there are often bystanders) will think that I’m showboating, which I agree is annoying. I only hope the sex sounds I make are believable, because they come from someplace deep, deep within that is completely genuine.

Tops - once you’ve fucked a guy, do you find yourself passing him over in search of someone you haven’t fucked before? How often do you think you do it? How many times, on average, can you casually fuck a person before his “novelty value” wears off and you crave something new - once? Twice? Five times? I realize, of course, that there are FBs, and FWBs, and SOs that don’t fit this question, but from time to time I hear references to bottoms that people say “everyone has fucked him“ and his desirability as a partner diminishes. I also realize that a certain stigma still attaches to promiscuity, but I similarly hear about gay communities where men complain about the difficulty of finding anyone to hook up with because “everybody has already fucked everybody”. So, speak to this. Is there a point at which a bottom can expect the well to run dry and must move on to new pastures? I’m lying in a motel room in Indy right now, one year after the weekend in which I took 25 cocks, and I haven’t had a single hit in 5 hours. Is it possible that I’ve already run through the stock of men likely to fuck me in this situation, and must now change scene?

Your treatment should clear the clams right up. I’ve never experienced the severe anal pain you describe in my bouts with it, but people are affected differently. Please do report back and let us know how it resolves.

Last session he asked for Viagra after a couple of false starts, and I let him have it, but he got hard and got his fuck finished well before the medication would have had any chance to work on him. The next day, I sent him a note pointing this out, and suggesting he think about what that means between now and our next fuck. My goal is to get him away from relying on anything but his confidence, and as quickly as possible. I have to say, there’s something particularly fulfilling about feeling a young man have an intense full-body orgasm while you’re wrapped around him... It makes me remember the kind of cum-blasting O I used to have when I was younger and still discovering my body. I’m kind of lucky in that I videoed myself jacking off back then and can still watch myself enjoying it. In more recent years Doms have induced orgasms in me that have felt more intense by an order of magnitude - truly violent, almost traumatic climaxes - but none have been quite the same as those early earth-shakers. If I can help him find those, I’m fulfilling my purpose. (:

I was surprised by it too, and sort of intrigued, to the point that I want to know what’s going on with him. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the Top mindset is a deep mystery to me, and to encounter a young man on the cusp of it may offer me a chance to get some insight into how it develops. Or not. He’s not a big talker so far, so it may take some time...

Wait - gay bareback sex YELP reviews? Really? Where does one find these?

He came to me specifically because he wanted help Topping.

Ask about an anal fissure. You may also want to run a google search on that phrase. It would not explain the fever or fatigue, but might fit the anal symptoms. And ensure that your doctor is checking you for HIV, just to be on the safe side. An anal fissure could be a vector to make HIV infection more likely if you’re fucking bare.

Your points are well taken. Unfortunately, and I say this with complete conviction, I have no inner Dom, of any kind. That’s the main reason for this topic. He has, as it happens, just left after our session. I tried to get him started with some foreplay, but he was eager to fuck, so I figured, strike while the iron is hot... as it were. He was erect to begin with, had a couple of false starts when he had trouble zeroing in on my hole in doggy position, and he asked if he could have a Viagra. I gave him what he asked for, but I knew he didn’t need it; I assumed missionary to give him better access, and he was plowing me waaaaay sooner than that V would have had any time to act. He flipped me to a couple of different positions, then asked if I wanted his cum in me. When he came, it was like a convulsion, and his voice went up in pitch, then he shuddered and went still for a bit, until I felt I needed to ask if he was okay. He replied that he had just had the most intense orgasm of his life. (Naturally, I would love to credit the unique qualities of my ass with this result, but modesty forbids. ) In the afterglow, after I tongued him clean, we spooned and talked for about an hour as I worked on getting to know him better, and getting him to feel more comfortable with me. Time well spent, I think, especially as I learned that he had been feeling bad because he felt like he was using me just for sex (!!). Bless him. I think I got him straightened out on that score - in any case, he wanted another look at my ass after he got dressed. Yeah, he’ll be back. The sex is pretty fucking good. ?

I’ve taken so many cocks that I think it’s fair to say I’ve experienced a comprehensive sampling of what’s on offer, not just in terms of length and girth, but in variations of shape. I’ve been fucked by organs that bore little resemblance to a standard anatomical model of a human penis, and I’ve taken them all with equal respect, without judgment, grateful for the owner’s gift of intimacy. To laugh at someone’s endowment when he is offering the gift of his trust is obscene. I would not do it under any circumstance whatever, even if requested to do so. To those who refuse to grant a small cock entry into their asses, I can only say you may ultimately miss out on some very memorable sex. One man who routinely fucks me at the baths terrifies me whenever I see him because I know I’m in for a ruthless ordeal of nonstop anal orgasms delivered by his small - but masterfully weilded - cock.

I concentrated on relaxation the first time, beginning with massage and slow tongue work over his torso. I always explore all my Tops’ exogenous zones (if given the chance) to find out what stimulates them most, and what doesn’t. With a man this young, I’m not sure he knows his own body well enough sexually to be sophisticated about his responses - and I don’t want to overdo it and scare him off. I think I can help him become attuned to his sexuality, but I’m not sure how to encourage the “Top-ness” in him, if you get what I mean, as I have no Top in me whatsoever. For instance, if he were to ask an Alpha what he should do with a bottom, what would an Alpha tell him? (And no, I don’t think “Get out of the way and let a real man fuck him” would be all that useful in this situation, however appropriate such advice might be.)

I find myself in the unusual position of training a 21-year-old guy how to Top. I, of course, am a total bottom, so it's not unlike a horse teaching horseback riding, yet here I am. The guy is very interested in Topping, but for whatever reason has performance/ED issues when it comes down to the moment. We have established that he has no problems with his actual plumbing, and indeed he has an exceptional young cock, beautifully symmetrical, thick, straight, and yummy. His cum is also absolutely delicious. He approached me on Grindr (yes, I know) yet wonder of wonders, he was real, and appeared, on time, as described. Quite mature, and serious about wanting to Top me... if possible. He wanted to make sure I understood that he might not be able to, and I assured him I had no expectation other than that we would have fun getting to know each other. He had not tried Viagra before, and after making sure there were no obvious contraindications (happily, he's a student in the medical care field, so was quite knowledgeable himself) so we agreed that he might try a medium dose to see if it assisted him with whatever problem might be affecting his erection. It assisted. Cutting to the chase, he fucked me very well indeed, shifting positions twice, finally lasting with a loud groan and collapsing into me in a sweaty, gasping heap. He said, "... After 30 failed attempts..." 1) Kudos to the man for getting back in the saddle again after 30 failures; and 2) Damn, he must really want to Top. And yet, in the two weeks since, he hasn't tried again with anyone else. He says he wants my ass again tonight after 9pm. He says he hasn't shot in a week and needs to cum. I've told him all along that my ass is his for the taking whenever he wants it (how many 21-year-old guys have a dedicated ass to fuck?) but he hasn't been aggressive about taking advantage of it. My question for all of you: What advice would you give to a young man about how to Top? I can only advise him from a bottom's perspective, about what makes me responsive as a bottom, and about what I hope I supply for him in the experience. I can't guide him in how he should think of bottoms, what his approach toward them should be (other than what I hope happens to me), or any of those secrets only Tops know about bottoms and their asses. What would you say to a young man to give him the confidence to come in with a raging-hard cock and fuck like a champ? Because he has the potential. Advice from Tops is especially sought, but all replies are welcome.

WHY?! Are you insane, Sir? You have a pair of Tops who double-d you and will probably shortly do it again, and you plug the hole to prevent it? If this goes on, you may need an intervention of some sort. To the topic, I find that I’m most sensitive to the Top’s actual ejaculation when his cock is thick enough to be tight in my ass without me tightening my muscles. Then, I can easily feel each contraction of his cock, and each pulse of cum as it works its way down his shaft. There is a point of diminishing returns when the cock is so thick that it stretches my hole painfully, but I can still feel it at work when he cums. And even when I don’t, I’m almost always aware of the moment a Top unloads into me, just by his vocalizations, changes in grip, speed, or muscle tone, or several other factors, including one of my favorites - his O face, when he’s fucking me missionary and makes me keep my eyes open. ?

This, for sure - I know I have to do this a lot, especially at the bathhouse, where there’s no way of knowing how many asses the cock in my mouth has penetrated during that visit. But what I don’t get to do very often that I love is wrap my tongue around a cock immediately after it comes out of another ass, still warm and slick and fragrant. Then, if he flips me around and breeds me and then gives me that same cock to clean, well… Nirvana.

I shave cock, balls and hole, and sometimes my back because forgodssake... Elsewhere I trim. I like to keep a nice, close trim across my chest. I have a natural “treasure trail” down my body to my crotch, and I used to shave my abs to accentuate it even more, but now I leave it alone. I kind of wish I were naturally hairless, but fur is in my genes.

If I understand correctly, it sounds as though you’re trying to install some sort of panel with a hole in it in a door frame that can be removed when you are finished using it as a GH. If this is correct, shower rods don’t sound workable as supports, because they’re friction-reliant. They might hold the panel up, but if a man were to lose balance and fall toward it, I doubt it would hold. If the GH were used for fucking, I’m quite sure it wouldn’t. One option might be to fit your panel with a half-hinge of the same type as the existing door, take down the existing door for the duration of your usage, and hang your “special door” on the same hinge in its place. Then, when you’re done, swap them out again. It should be as easy as tappining the hinge pins in and out. Another option might be to look into the hardware used for pull-up bars to mount in doorways; those have to be considerably more stable than shower rods. Or, to make things easier, forget the panels - when each guy comes in, just push a doughnut onto his cock and tell him he’s not allowed to take it off himself. ?

As an SMU alumnus, this makes me laugh and laugh and laugh …

Well played.

@Oldercumslut - Why fear? Go in there like you own the place. Confidence is sexy, even if you have to pretend you’re confident. And you might end up convincing yourself. Plus: “Blackout” = nobody’s going to be too damn picky. If a hand touches your ass, guide it straight to your hole. If your hand finds a cock, go to work on it like it’s the last cock in existence. Make him forget all those other fuckers. I am an anti-Adonis - I’ve never been one of the “pretty” ones, and I’m about as “hott” as a fire hydrant. I know what league I’m in and what league I’m light-years out of… and I don’t care, because there’s nothing I can do about it. Instead, I strip myself buck naked aside from a cock ring and a smile, throw myself into the herd, and take what comes. Usually, something comes, in the form of a cock. Or two. Or twelve. You never know unless you try, but the first step is to take that fear and just say, “Fuck it, I’m goin’ in.” If you’re the kind of guy who also says, “Hold my beer,” you can do that, too. Not my thing, but it seems to work for some people.

Oh, that is nice. He clearly had some training in calligraphy. Which gives me a fun idea... Next time I’m at the baths I might do some random fellow bottom a fancy favor... ?

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! Flogging anyone with a homemade flail made of fiber-optic cables would be an insanely dangerous thing to do. If such cables open and break, or fray at the ends, the result is tiny, tiny needles of glass that can easily penetrate the skin, do not degrade, and can be practically invisible and thus resist removal. Plus, you absolutely don’t want to run the risk of aspirating them out of the air while your Dom is flailing away with abandon. From my time in the BDSM lifestyle I get what you’re telling us about your pride in taking a beating severe enough to crack your rib. Submissives (in my personal view the looney ones, but hey, my kink is not their kink) often show off purpling bruises as badges of accomplishment. But a Dom who is so fucking careless and inattentive - or worse, so malevolent and cavalier toward a Dominant’s responsibilities - as to break someone’s ribs during a scene is to be shunned. Behavior like that has no place in a safe, sane, and consensual lifestyle. When the submissive is a masochist, the Dom has an even greater duty to exercise restraint, because the submissive may not be physically or mentally able, if things go too far beyond limits, to convey distress. And a certain type of Dominant may, frankly, have to guard against bloodlust. I’m not judging you or any of your choices. I’m just saying I’ve seen enough go down - and had enough done to me - to know that there’s such a thing as crazy. Be careful out there.