ErosWired

Certainly this happens. Bringing in interested men is a lot like work. You can seldom just lie there and expect them to drift in on the basis of ads posted. You have to be interactive in most cases. Also, if the bottom has chosen a poor time, or a poor location, he can expect a night alone. A big mistake is to book a room in a hotel where a Top can’t get inside the building after dark without a key card. And sometimes, no matter how well you plan, the gods of fucking just aren’t on your side, and nothing happens.

This has been addressed many, many times on these boards. The answers are all readily available; just use the site’s robust search feature to find previous topics on the subject. The question gets asked so frequently that most of us are no longer inclined to repeat ourselves.

Today I was doing a little spring cleaning, digging into nooks and crannies to root out the winter cobwebs. This is an old house my papaw built in 1936 and it’s impossible to keep it dusted, so I don’t get dust mice - I get dust mammoths. As I was clearing off a bookshelf to wipe away the skunge, I came across a VHS cassette - that’s a video tape, for all you young’uns. It had no label on it and I hadn’t the first idea what was on it, or remembered putting it there. It had to have been years ago. But as it happened, I had also just dusted off an old VHS player in an unused bedroom, so I decided to satisfy my curiosity, and see if a) the thing still played, and if so, b) what had bee recorded on it. It played. For the next half-hour, I sat in astonishment and relived the day a Dominant bound me to a Saint Andrew’s Cross in my cellar and systematically cut off all my clothes with his knife while he sent pictures out to other men vis his cell phone. It was fascinating, because it was the very first time I had ever encountered poppers, and he poppered me up pretty liberally, as I now realize. The video camera had been set up to record the whole process. I watched myself gradually become his object of debauchery, slowly, as he wore stripped away my clothes, my thinking ability, and my dignity. He remained fully clothed the whole time. From time to time he would run the point of his knife against my skin, just to suggest my vulnerability to him. He cut my clothes of in sections at a time, stopping to take pictures and send them, and tell me about the kind of men who would see them. He would address his audience from time to time, talking about me - I don’t know whether there were men listening in real time, or whether he was narrating for video. He finally removed the last shred of cloth from my groin and exposed my penis, showed it to the camera at various angles. Then the advanced on me and began running his hands over me, and kissing my open mouth long and deeply because he could. And then, he turned off the camera. Because he had finished with his scene. He hadn’t fucked me, or jacked me off in bondage, or inserted anything into my ass, or asked for a blowjob - that was his scene. I have the tape because it was made with a camera belonging to me - he didn’t take it with him. I have no idea what kind of images or footage ended up on his phone, or who might have seen me get used that way, get forced to admit on camera that I wanted a man to strip me naked and use me - or whether no one saw it at all and he was just play-acting for his scene. But I saw it. And watching that tape was like being bound to that cross all over again. It’s called VHS for a reason, I guess…Very Hot Scene.

@backdoorjimmy - Thank you for that perspective. I’m always a little hesitant around these topics because I wasn’t molested or sexualized in any way growing up - indeed, quite the opposite, I was an extremely late bloomer. The fact that I was largely oblivious to the sexual world through my teen years makes it difficult for me to identify with those whose experience started early and has essentially never stopped. This does, nonetheless, leave me with a curious way of looking at my own situation. I read the accounts of men who day they were turned out early, and say that the experience strongly shaped the sexual beings they have become. Some say that the learned, or were taught or trained, or simply realized, at some early point that their role is to service men, to submit, to be receptacles, etc. I can see how early manipulation of a psyche could result in that kind of self-view, particularly if there were no intervention. But I have come to the same conclusion about myself, yet I experienced no childhood sexualization at all. How have I ended up the dame way, when there was no external influence that groomed me to become a cumdump? I question whether whether some are perhaps led to it while others are simply born with it encoded within them. The fact that Dominant men have been able to cultivate it so readily in me as an adult leaves me to wonder what would have been the result if some predator had come upon me early - it’s a disturbing conjecture.

The FOSTA/SESTA laws in the US that necessitated this policy are still in force, so the situation is unchanged. The internet is vast. I’m sure you can find somewhere else to discuss the topic.

I think this often separates the proficient Tops from the mundane - and then the excellent Tops from the proficient. Proficient Tops know where it is and may try to work it; excellent Tops dig for it, then collect what their efforts milk out of you and feed it back to you either on your tongue or as lube for their continuing work. If my prostate is being well hammered, I invariably leave a puddle.

I’m not entirely sure I understand your question properly, but in general my observation about the accounts of emergent sexual experiences on the forum do seem to exhibit a division in tone between those who report being exposed to sexuality at an early age and those who come here to discuss their awakening to same-sex relations as legal-age adults. Among the former set there seems to be some alternation between those who feel that the experience shaped them positively, and those who do not. What I sense less of, however, is the overall feeling of self-examination that occurs among the latter group; it’s as though the early exposure establishes a set of parameters around an individual’s sexual identity that then require less introspective analysis later. This is a generalization, obviously; some who experienced early encounters may be dealing with deep-seated confusion or trauma still related to those early events. All of this is said with the caveat that a certain amount of the narratives of young experience, especially of an incestuous nature, is almost certainly at least highly embellished, if not outright fictitious. The sheer number of people claiming to have been molested as children and love the fact that they were is highly dubious, and flies in the face of the experience of those who deal with children coping with the aftermath of abuse. I think that if you find that topics involving experiences at a young age are more common than topics about ‘coming out’ or ‘self-realization’ narratives as adults, my guess is that it’s probably a reflection of a preponderance of fictional narrative about being turned out young. I’m always suspicious of stories that purport to be an account of a memory from childhood, but contain detailed descriptions of things that a child would not have observed at the time - a child, for instance, is not going to note that the adult had an 8” cock. Cock inches are an adult fixation. As to whether the persons involved in the narratives are ‘pedo’ - I try to be somewhat circumspect in judgment. I am an absolute defender of children, and were I to come upon a man sodomizing or despoiling a child I would kill him on the spot, without a moment’s hesitation. That is what must be done with monsters. Given that conviction, I always wish to be quite, quite sure what I’m dealing with.

I had nothing to do with the edit to your previous post. You will have to take that up with the moderator who saw fit to do it. I might point out that you began this yourself by, ‘without any right’, informing any of us that do not show our faces that we are not “true” cumdumps, according to your definition. Not that we give credit to that nonsense. And I never said you aren’t a “true” cumdump, I only pointed out that after you insisted that “true” cumdumps always show their faces, the picture you then posted of yourself did not. By your own definition, then, what are you? I don’t say that you are or aren’t a “true” cumdump, because there is no set of rules that says what makes a cumdump. There’s no reason anyone should listen to such silly pronouncements, and many of us here don’t appreciate being told what we have to do to measure up to somebody’s fantasy standard. But please let me assure you that I could not, in this or any other universe, care less whether you think you’re a cumdump or not. You’re no different than the rest of us, and we’re all just part of a vast ocean of ass. Go in peace, and fuck well.

100% right on that.

For a myth, it’s remarkably well represented on any given illustration of the human colon. And any experienced fister can attest to having encountered it. There is most decidedly a junction of the rectum and sigmoid colon, at which a tightening pseudo-sphincter constricts the passage so that wastes can be collected and concentrated in the s-bend of the sigmoid before being periodically released to the rectum for disposal. If this apparatus were mythical, we would be crapping ourselves nonstop because there would be nothing to pause the outflow. Since the average rectum is only about 6 inches in length, any cock longer than that inserted to the pubis must necessarily penetrate this barrier and enter the sigmoid colon. The involuntary constrictor tissues that regulate the closure of the barrier are what give the sensation of an “inner ring”. This is not always the case. Yes, the sigmoid bends leftward, but the entry is not always necessarily directly upward. It depends on the individual’s anatomy. In some guys the rectum may tilt up to the right before the sigmoid turns left, and a leftward approach may have difficulty finding its way. Not too long ago I serviced an experienced Top with quite a long cock; he inserted, paused for a moment, then angled to my right side and passed ip and into my second hole like threading a needle. Apparently he knew what to look for, and I guess I tend to angle right. Although rare (i.e. 1 person in 10,000), it’s also possible that you could meet someone with situs inversus, a person born with all of his major visceral organs positioned in a mirrored arrangement to normal. In such a case, his sigmoid would bend to the right.

Are you saying that when not being whored out, when left to your own devices, you had been under the impression that you were somewhat discriminating about who fucked you, in that it mattered to you? But you were happy to be whored out and have that choice taken away from you, and when you were confronted with less-than-ideal Tops, you were happy to be loaded by them. I understand the epiphany where you came to realize that acceptance is your true nature - I had such a realization myself. But how do you account for the difference in the way you felt in the first place and the fact that you were willing to allow yourself to be liberally whored out (a highly enviable position)? There seems to be a little bit of a disconnect there. Perhaps you were subconsciously responding to a deeper instinct? I’m only speculating.

To be fair, I haven’t had a lot of luck in slings, but in the times I have used them I’ve personally actually found them somewhat limiting in terms of my ability to adjust the angle of my hips and the curvature of my back to best accommodate the Top’s angle of entry and thrust pattern, and to provide any kind of controlled resistance or reciprocal action. I find that the sling forces the Top to be the one that makes sure everything lines up properly, etc. Maybe I’m just too focused on thinking about what I can do for the Top and not realizing that sometimes the Top just wants to have his bottom where he wants him, to handle as he pleases. I probably just need to figure out how to get more time being fucked in slings to fully appreciate them. I will say this about slings in public play-spaces, though - whenever I contemplate using a sling in a bathhouse sling room or similar spot, the first thing I do is carefully inspect the rigging. About half the time I find that some knothead has fastened something wrong or left something unsecured that could easily drop the guy in the sling straight onto his head or spine on the hard floor underneath, or someone has left a very slick spot of either lube or…something 🤔… on the floor right where the Top would need to stand or the bottom would need to dismount from the sling, just waiting to cause a fall. Always check your gear and your space before you play.

If a bathhouse did such things on a business basis, it would likely be considered something else by authorities: A brothel. And cracked down upon accordingly. Bathhouses manage to do business by operating under a (thin) veneer of being health spas - hence the exercise equipment that no one actually uses. Authorities tolerate this arrangement knowing full well what men do there, but consider it in light of the famous quote from Mrs. Patrick Campbell - Does it really matter what these affectionate people do - so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses. I would love nothing more than to check myself into a bathhouse where I could book a room and rely on the staff to pimp my ass out to cocks nonstop - but the waiting list for a room would be years.

Your style isn’t annoying at all - you write well. Had you dressed this up as a fiction story and posted it in the story section, I think it would have been well appreciated as such. As a ‘confessional’, though, it sort of asks people to look at it in a different light. And as you can tell, you’re not the only one with a ‘needlessly overthinking personality’. I might as well have that tattooed onto my forehead. Actually, I can relate to it very much, because if I’m being completely honest, that’s exactly the kind of Top I take the greatest gratification from servicing. I want the Top using me to be totally focused on his own desire and pleasure, and to feel free to achieve the fullness of his sexual expression and aggression through his enjoyment of my body and mind. I usually find it a bit tiresome if he’s not being selfish. I’m perhaps a bit different in that way, though, than a cumdump bottom who is less a dedicated service bottom and more in it for his own gratification; it’s harder to victimize someone like me when I consider the ability to use me that way as simply a service I offer. The Top can enjoy indulging in his aggression on me, without doing harm to someone who might be more easily traumatized by it. I totally recognize that there are such Tops out there, and perhaps that’s why I’m instinctively drawn to them - I’m the symbiotic outlet they need. If it had been me you took instead of the Viking dude, I wouldn’t have blocked you afterward. No, catfishing is not acceptable, and if the anon guy really did commit some egregious false advertising, you could reasonably be put off by it. Enough to go full psychopath? Maybe not so much.

Are the beads anal beads? Those may be too much fun to use for penance.

Please don’t take anything I write as a personal remark - I’ve never met you and don’t presume to make any judgment about you. The only thing I have in front of me is the text you post, and whatever I may comment on is essentially a rhetorical critique. To wit: You may or may not have represented your case well, but you certainly didn’t do yourself any favors with bits like this: Or this: Yet what you describe was coercing the guy into painful anal sex he wasn’t looking for in a compromising, embarrassing, and potentially illegal situation. With prior intent. In fact, the whole narrative from the moment you contacted the Viking dude is a rather disturbing profile of someone planning and carrying out a sexual assault intended to gratify the perpetrator through the pain, humiliation and distress experienced by the victim. By the way, a minor, but highly significant detail I omitted from my prior critique: 🤨 A Top using poppers wants to whine that a bottom’s cunt isn’t tight enough to stimulate his cock. Uh-huh. Do you know why I don’t give Tops my poppers now? It’s because - without fail - poppers soften, if not outright kill, erections. Tops will say, ‘Oh, that doesn’t happen to me.’ Bullshit. Your cocks tell a different story than the buzz in your head. If you were sniffing poppers, you’re going to have a hard time convincing me that there was anything in that bottom’s cunt firm enough to grip. But - Like I say, all I have in front of me is the text you wrote, and while I don’t doubt that this is an account of your evening, the elaborate prosaic style of the narrative suggests to me that you have allowed yourself considerable license in the embellishment of it, and while it may not be fictional, we mustn’t take it verbatim as a basis to assess you or your motives. I consider it, rather, as an overlay of an imagined evening laid onto the skeleton of actual events. What you provide us gives us all considerable breadth and depth for speculation, but really very little for judgment. Suffice it to say that if your conscience is bothering you, perhaps you should ask yourself why. That’s something no one here can answer for you. By the way - Of all the things that concern you about this, the thing that seems to trouble you most is that you faked your orgasm. But of all the things you say you thought or did, that is the one single thing that was kind. You could have just pulled out and said, “Fuck this,” but you didn’t - you simulated the moment that would have provided that bottom a sense of self-worth, even if you didn’t actually receive any reward yourself. So maybe you deserve some absolution after all.

A really substandard bottom is unlikely to get too cumfilled to notice. If he was cum-sloppy, he was obviously a good enough fuck for more than one other Top that night. And clearly, he was good enough to bring the previous Top to climax.

Well. There’s a whole lot we could unpack there, my friend. But I think the crux of it lies in this: You complain that the guy faked his stats, but what difference did it make - you created not just a set of imaginary ideal stats for him to live up to in your horny, overimaginitive head, but a whole fucking backstory… for an anon cumdump you were supposedly going to be fucking in a darkened room. His cunt wasn’t the only thing with a loose grip on the situation. He might not have been entirely accurate in his profile stats, but was how far off was he really? Be fair. Try to be objective. Compare him to what he wrote, not to what you imagined. No, he might not have had the tautest twat you ever fucked, but dammit, man, you passed the previous Top on his way out still zipping up his pants - for all you know he jackhammered that bottom’s cunt without mercy for an hour before depositing that load. I work hard on making sure I keep my cunt muscles in shape for strategic gripping, and I can take cock with the best of them, but a Top can still leave me so rough-fucked that there’s no grip left; and that makes me neither lazy nor loose. The guy hadn’t even had time to recover, but he was still willing to service you then and there, like a champ. So it wasn’t dark enough for your taste? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to fine-tune the lighting in a ratty hotel room for just the right gloom? The lights (sometimes there’s only one working) don’t have fucking dimmers. So you have to either drape a towel over the light, or go with the bathroom light on and the door cracked open, and even if you do manage to find some sort of level, the next Top who comes in says it’s either too dark or too bright; and then the next one says the opposite. Sorry he didn’t set your dream scenario up just exactly right - he actually might have, and Mr. Ginger before you may have fucked it up by insisting on more light. Ah, so his ass hair was shaved, and not the perfect bespoke length to tickle your skin? Here’s the deal with body hair for cumdumps, man - we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. No two Tops have the same taste, and in my experience, it’s pretty much split down the middle. There’s no way to please every anonymous guy who walks in, and there’s no point in trying. You pick a mode and you go with it. He wasn’t face-down, ass-up when you entered? Did he even have time to collect himself between the two of you? Get himself ready for you in any way? Did you allow any time for the ideal presentation, or did you just tag-team it with Ginger-Top before his cum had even stopped dripping off the guy’s cunt? If you want personalized service, you have to allow time for prep - we’re cumdumps, not magicians. You want absolution? Oh, you’re going to have to do penance for that, my man. You think you disrespected him by calling him a whore, hate-fucking him (unjustly) and faking your orgasm with an Oscar-worthy performance 🙄? No. You disrespected him by checking out Grindr for his replacement while you were still inside his body taking advantage of the gift of his intimacy. I don’t even think there’s a Circle Of Hell specifically tailored for that. They may have to make one. What makes this whole sordid tale and your appeal for sympathy so absurd is that although your butthurt is grievously inflamed by the fact that the anon cumdump didn’t match your imagined ideal of a straight, brown-haired, blue-collar, suburban football-fan hockey-coach dad who also takes loads as a cumdump 🤔, you are then, without missing a beat, delighted to fuck a sketchy Viking who bears no resemblance to that description whatsoever. I kind of have to ask - if your imagination is all that, couldn’t you just have closed your eyes and imagined that the room was dark and the anon cumdump was everything you wanted? I call shenanigans on the whole thing and recommend you go soak your head. Maybe you’ll feel better.

The OP’s original question is actually almost too vague to be properly considered, given the lack of information provided. We are told that: * He has a girlfriend * He is a cumdump * He takes cock bareback * His practices are ‘nasty’ by his definition, but that could mean anything That’s it. That’s all we know. We can deduce that he’s at least a vers bottom, but we know nothing else. On the basis of this he asks us what he ought to do. About what? Is he asking whether he should continue having a hetero relationship since he knows he enjoys mansex? Is he asking whether he should tell her that he has sex with men? We have no idea whether she knows or not. Is he asking whether he’s putting her at risk? Is he asking whether he should stop having sex with men altogether? Is he asking whether he should stop barebacking? Is he asking what he needs to do so that he can continue taking cock bare in a way that doesn’t endanger her? Is he more concerned about the potential of her finding out his secret if he ends up diagnosed positive? Is he even thinking in terms of what the honorable thing is to do, or is he simply focused on how he can have his cock and his pussy, too? The answers so far have all been based on assumptions made in the absence of information on any of this, and while any of the advice might be useful, we’re really just throwing darts with our eyes shut and hoping we hit the target. I certainly don’t feel as though I know enough to try to advise him beyond pointing out that no one has the right to knowingly put someone else at risk. What he should do with that awareness - that’s more than I can say at this point.

You know, I don’t think I examined the picture closely enough when I answered this the first time. Before, I said I was No 1, and that’s still how I’m most often used. But now that I see what’s going on with No. 7 - that could be a sketch drawn from somebody watching me in a few situations. But more than that, I channel Nos. 1 and 7 in spirit - 1 is taking it from the man who’s a bit less fit than the others around him, maybe a little older; 1 is the cunt that serves anyone’s needs without discriminating. And 7 isn’t just getting fucked in both holes - he’s getting fucked by another guy who’s also being fucked. He’s the one that even the submissive ones fuck. The one sexually beneath all other men. That’s totally me.

Yes, I’ve seen some of your other notes about the dismal conditions in the Pacific Northwest. Very odd, and you’re right, there must be additional factors. Nobody wants to go out in the rain, perhaps? I guess the ranking of city size depends on how you measure it - The US Census Bureau’s statistics for cities by population actually puts Memphis at 28th, and Louisville right under it at 29th. But it also ranks Atlanta at 36th, and there’s a lot more people in the greater Atlanta metro area than in Louisville’s…’metro area’, if it can be called that. In any case, Flex Spa in Atlanta beats Vapor Spa in Louisville completely in my estimation.

I think it’s one of those “your mileage may vary” situations with bathhouses vs. hotel hosting, dependent on the size of the available population of potential candidates for fucking - a factor I think of as ‘critical mass’. Louisville, God bless it, does not reach critical mass. It’s simply not a big enough city. It’s big enough to have a bathhouse, but I haven’t been back there in years because I’ve never been fucked there more than once in a visit. To be fair, I always got fucked, but the patronage was simply too sparse. Compare that with the bathhouse I go to in Indianapolis, where activity can be quite brisk at times. Indy has enough men to reach critical mass, even with two competing bathhouses. Its critical mass in terms of app hookup results, however, is only marginally better than Louisville’s. I think that in order to be able to really pull men in successfully and reliably with hotel hosting, the critical mass of available men needs to be greater by something like an order of magnitude. I found it fairly easy, for instance, to drum up interest in Atlanta (the 8th most populous metro area in the US) versus Louisville (43rd most populous). If you’re in a place like NYC, there’s so much meat on the hoof there’s no comparison. Also, consider the effect of the social climate - a place like NYC or San Francisco, or even Chicago are going to be places where the view of sex is much more libertine than the Bible Belt South or the conservative Midwest where activity is more furtive, hesitant and clandestine. The repressive atmosphere has much to do, I think, with the failure of apps to produce live results here in the hinterlands of Butt Fucking Egypt. I don’t know whether it’s a cultural difference or just me being Gen-X, but any time someone calls it a video arcade, I get the image of guys fucking behind a Pac-Man game console, illuminated by the flashing lights of Galaga and Dig Dug on other screens, and tacky 8-bit game music in the air. WakkaWakkaWakkaWakkaWakka…

That’s why I never go to the Back Room. I know it’s there to let the people with their lunatic fantasy revel in it, and anything I would have to say would be inappropriate there - and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from saying it. So I keep it to the health forum, and hope that just maybe talking about what I’ve been through will spare someone else from the same.

That’s only because Moscow has taken extraordinary (and unsustainable) measures to prop up the currency in the immediate term, like the central bank raising interest rates to 20%, exporters being ordered to exchange 80% of their foreign currency reserved for rubles, only allowing 33 picked stocks to trade on a carefully monitored stock market, forbidding citizens to make bank transfers out of the country, and more. In the meantime, everyday Russians are beginning panic-buying in the stores and physically fighting over sugar as they watch inflation inch upward toward a projected 50% by year’s end. Here’s an article with more detail: [think before following links] https://www.cnn.com/2022/03/31/investing/russia-ruble-putin/index.html Yes, the Russians have wealth in petroleum, but right now they’re having to sell it to China and India at a whopping 30% discount just to get them to take it, and in order to deliver it their tankers are having to deactivate their transponders at sea (yet another violation of international law) because nobody wants to be caught buying from them. Having a commodity is one thing - having a commodity you can’t readily sell is another. No, Russia will not emerge from this “intact”. Thousands of Russian lives have already been pointlessly squandered, thousands more will be devastated by those losses for years. The country’s free and independent press, such as it was, has been silenced by new laws, and cannot resume in the current authoritarian climate. There are those who know the truth about the “special operation” and those who have swallowed the Russian Big Lie, and we already hear word of the fault lines growing there, just as they have in the US. And the free world will not see Russia as anything but a war criminal state again for a very long time. Its global reputation is in ruins, no matter what happens. No, Russia will not emerge unscathed. Its wounds are already self-inflicted.

Someone said, history doesn’t repeat itself… but it rhymes.