It's been interesting reading all your post on thus topic, just came across this. I been in a closed LTR for 15 years now but I am finding it difficult now over the past few years. Being bottom who like it raw i feel like I am missing out on becoming a cumdump as I am submissive in a way that I like men touching me and breeding me as I enjoy the contact with random guys. I ready miss going to clubs, party's or pride events (which he doesn't like) and explained this to my partner but it get shut down quickly alway end of topic with him. Sex isn't that brilliant between us recently, so rarely that I get bred these day which gives me a feeling of emptiness. I tried a few times to rise my feelings and concerns but he doesn't want to talk about it. My real concern is that one day I might be over come with my feelings end up meeting up with a random guy to breed me which in a close relationship would be wrong to do as I don't want to cheat on him but I do want to be who I am.