hntnhole

How very, very interesting. I happen to be able to whistle A 440 on demand. I can play any song I know in any key on a piano. I'm able to "listen" to any work I know, from Mozart to Ma Rainey, "in my head" at any time I please. Having perfect pitch is more of a curse than a gift, however. Every single flaw (pitch-wise)* is instantly evident, in recordings - particularly at concerts - in commercials on tv**, on and on. Robt Shaw used to tell us that he couldn't wait to die, get to Heaven, and hear the angels sing a simple triad on C M in absolutely perfect pitch. Yet, it never dawned on me that gay men might possess some quality in their voice that could be recognized by other gay men. Would it be related to some kind of overtones? I would guess not. Would it be related to Autism, and only Autistic men can discern it? On a pipe organ, the "tongue" in the pipe can be "voiced" with amazing precision to reproduce the various voices in an orchestra. E.M. Skinner was a master at voicing, and there aren't many organs left bearing his magnificent voicing. Might your ability be related to the origin of vocal sounds in the throat? Perhaps there's some particular construct within the ear, allowing you this special gift? Do you have any materials that might explore this? Thanks for the fascinating reply. This is one of the big reasons I enjoy BZ so much. 😉 *not interpretational errors, which are a completely different issue, only pitch-related. **Currently, there's an ad running on tv with that old recording of the pop song "Every beat of my heart...", and the singer never does make the leap up to the third ("I know - I know"). It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. I grab the remote and fast-forward through it.

From the Top's perspective, one clue there's still some water up past the "sigmoid" (never knew the real name until tsg's reply) the Hole can seem "dry" to an exploratory finger or tongue. It's sometimes a clue that the effort isn't quite accomplished yet ......

yuk ..... the mental imagery ^ summons forth is downright hideous, and a direct insult to monkeys belonging to organ grinders.

Well, I had offices in several cities, and a short time in them regularly. That said, Christopher Street is famous in the Gay World. It's there that Gay Liberation was born, when the drag queens fought back against the stunned cops doing a routine bar-bust. It wasn't too long after that, and after some raucous demonstrations shutting down LaSalle St (Chicago's 'Wall St'), that our then-mayor Jane Byrne stopped the Chgo cops from the regular bar-busts. Prior to that, one never went out to the bars without bail money tucked into one's boot. I think you and your friend did the guy a great favor, in that if one couldn't score at Ty's, he just wasn't trying 😁

I notice that you're in the UK. Perhaps you could familiarize yourself with your nation's recent (less than a century's worth) history - noting too difficult - zeroing in on 1938, when the PM of your nation was similarly mind-fucked into peddling "Peace in our Time" stupidity, completely used by a dictator with delusions of grandeur. Your own nation paid the price, mostly on it's east coast, for trusting in a vapid, myopic, dull and foolish leader then, just as we have come close to today, and may yet reap the whirlwind of a breathtakingly stupid phony "leader" in the US. Since there was no 45th "President" of the United States - only a con-man with the cleverness of any circus-barker - installed in that Office, no wonder the dictator of Russia thought that he could attempt to restore the faded, tattered "glory" of the USSR. You have received valid and useful information from an intellectually capable and honest member of this site above, namely Mr. BootmanLA. Please consider it carefully, and do what you can to emulate his careful scrutiny of facts. Thank you.

and Chlorox .... lots and lots of Chlorox.

THANK YOU, TheSRQDude !!!! At least I have some company in the "cruising cripple" arena. I remember Ty's, now that you mention it. It would definitely be a place to take a guy that needed a little tiny push to open up. There were a few other joints I hit more when in NYC, but I always like Christopher Street. Didn't care much for the cab ride down there - they all had the baldest tires I've ever seen, and drove like Ft. Lauderdalians (which is no compliment). That said, NYC was always spectacular !!!

I have nothing at all against either of your points. It's honest, it's your truth, it injures no one in any way, and that's what counts in my book. Since I have no "partner" at present, see ya in the fuckjoints, bud ......

....... but you didn't mention which set of cheeks ..... so I'll just assume the best !!! (or worst?) I guess it depends on something that's n.o.m.b. <filthy grin>

You're most likely more current in the vernacular than I am !!! I'm sure some of the guys will have more definitive replies.

That's been the case with keys - called "flagging", as well as the various colored hankies in either L or r back pocket for decades. Somehow it got reversed though: in Europe, active (Top) is on the right hand side, and passive (bottom) on the left side. Here in the US, active is left and passive is right. There's also, come to think of it, an old saying: "Black as the Ace of Spades". I don't think it had any racial connotation though - could be wrong about that part though. At least I never heard it used in a racial connotation.

I feel like a "cruising cripple" .... even when I'm at a bar with some buddies, one will tell me something like "that guy across the bar is cruising you ...", and unless there's only one guy over there, I still can't tell which one it is. Until the "cruiser" laughs, and casts his wandering eye in another direction. If a guy does something overt, like putting his cupped hand to his mouth and jacks an imaginary Cock .... at least I can tell then ...

Sorry to know that, tighthole64. I hope that scar has healed over, and you're in a better place now.

This is an interesting question. For some reason, those who recognize that I'm gay, seem to know right away, and they know there's no "vanilla" involved. Those who don't, seem completely surprised when they find out. I don't think it has anything to do with clothes, since I choose clothes that are - oh - I suppose the word would be bland? in appearance, but for a different reason that you might think. It just so happens I don't see colors very well, and when I was a kid it was drummed into me that other kids would laugh at me if I wore colored clothes that "clashed"*. So it became a habit, since I didn't really care about what I couldn't see anyway, to just wear plain colored clothes. In cool weather, I just wear jeans, and a plain (neutral?) colored t-shirt or sweatshirt. In warm weather, just a t-shirt with no color at all, and whatever pair of shorts come out of the drawer first. But that doesn't answer the initial question. I just don't know how some people seem to know at a glance, and some never guess at all. It might have something to do with the fact that I can't discern who's gay and who's not without either obvious mannerisms or overtly gay clothes. I guess when they handed out the "gaydar" I was already busy porking something in the john, and missed out. 😒 p.s. grey, black, white are the "neutral" colors for shirts, and black or blue jeans, right ??? I seldom wear dress suits anymore, but I hang which necktie goes with suit around the hanger (which was determined years ago by my better half - who's sense of taste in clothes was remarkable - but then, to my eyes, he looked great in anything and even better in nothing at all). *dumb term when used related to clothes. Armies "clash", enemies "clash". How can clothes "clash" ....

Yes, redheadnsf - regret is a heavy burden to carry, but there's at least one way to help deal with it. While becoming aware that you did something in the past that you now regret, at least you've learned from it, and can avoid whatever it was from now on. There's always hope, right?

Guys should do whatever they're attracted to doing, as long as they're not harming others. If a self-imposed contrivance seems appropriate, great - have at it. There may be fewer Holes in the fuckjoints for a while, but to me, that only means that the Holes that are there will get more Sperm pumped up their guts than they otherwise would. For some reason, the old phrase "tempest in a teapot" comes to mind ....

That's a great idea, Muscledadbod !!! It never occurred to me. It might take the mysterious suspense out of the equation, which some guys like, but it would definitely make things a lot more clear.

You and me both, p.l.4.p's .... btw, for guys that want to eat their own load but can't aim too dependably, try shooting into a shot glass - or a pony-glass even better. At least you won't be wasting any. In our life, there are no sexual outrages (other than purposely harming others, of course).

Yes, It matters if it's too damn big, because the guy probably never had to learn his craft. That said, there are some men with huge Cocks, and have learned everything there is to know about using it properly. A more normal-sized Cock won't get much Hole unless and until it's owner learns to use it properly, I'm not swinging a porn-cock, I'm not a "tweezer-case", and I don't get a lot of complaints. It's all about how you use what you've got.

For clarity, I have nothing at all against sex outside a relationship. I did it for decades, with the full knowledge, encouragement, and support of my live-partner. And, because I knew how much he needed outside sex, I did the same for him. It threatened our love for each other not one whit, since it was openly discussed, agreed upon, and acted upon without any deceptions. Thus, it is not what I would call "cheating", since no dishonesty at all was involved. I can commit enough disappointments in myself without purposely setting myself up to commit even more. I know you'll find this hard to believe <polite cough>, but the other day at the dog park, some woman started in on me and a friend about calling the cops, and neither my friend or myself were even involved in the incident. She would not stop, and I saw red - stood up and verbally shredded her right then and there. The worst part was, when I next saw her, I actually had to walk up to that ridiculous woman and apologize - and that really hurt, but decency demanded I do it. grrrrrrrrrrrrr The question is, what is it that drives some of us to even want to bother living down to other peoples standards in the first place? Particularly when failing in that vain pursuit only diminishes us as men? To the polyamory thing: That's a very interesting take on creating new "relationship/family" structures, and I think it could work for a lot of guys. The only negative I see at this point, would be that at some point, some guy that has yet to mature might be invited in, and stir things up a bit. But, a household "constitution" which governs everything might overcome a mickey slipping through. For myself though, "home" would be just that - my home. Just because I went to the grocery store (and took my Cock with me, obviously), I wouldn't fuck some guy in the bread aisle (yes, I know the visual must be dizzying). I do get what you mean, in that each member of the family-group would be entirely free to share sex with any guy anywhere, anytime, and have no cause to feel ashamed or worse, guilty. Instead, he would feel great about it. It's certainly a more productive, healthy construct than trying to emulate that which never did, and never will apply to men like us. After all - it's in the Constitution !!!

Wait a minute ..... you meant some Tops are way to picky, right? Those are usually the not-entirely-self-confident guys, either new to the scene, or perhaps a few more deep-seated insecurities. Just because a guy likes to fuck Holes doesn't mean his mind is completely in focus. We have to become comfortable in our own skin, just like bottoms do. Even when a guy is "born" to it, none of us are born with the techniques and skills that usually only come with time and practice.

Bingo, Bruce999. That was my usual m.o. at the tubs. Or, if the a/c was blowing too hard, around my shoulders. Then, when the bottom glances away from my Cock long enough to notice a little smile on my mug, that's often all it takes. Another approach in the orgy room, is just sitting, watching guys take loads, jacking, and when a guy pauses, just say something like Well hello there ... see something you want?

I'm REALLY surprised by the huge difference between cut and uncut Cocks .... 62% to 11% !!! I look forward to reading that article tomorrow ... and I'm very pleased to see that one of my favorite depravities is considered negligible !!!

Wellllll ... there are guys that enjoy "cheating"*, merely for the sake of doing it. Some are even really hot guys. I'm no shrink - but I have to specify again that these are only statements that apply to me, and if other guys can benefit from reading them, great. If not, ok. It's the sharing of perceptions that I enjoy so much on BZ, and was the impetus for this thread in the first place. That said, if you mean gay men in general need to think carefully about what they not only want, but what they can offer, I completely agree. When we love another man, it's a pleasure to give as well as receive in the relationship. When you have some time, I'm wondering what's in your mind related to "build a different kind of home". There may be more than one weasel in that woodwork !!! *again, that term may need a more clear definition as it relates to gay men

I may be many things .... and Proudly so ..... but born yesterday just ain't one of 'em ..... Even over the ether, it can happen ... really cool , huh?