hntnhole

Thanks, AtlFukBud ... Yeah, it's Friday again, finally !!! It seems that knowing I'm going over to my favorite fuckjoint tonight just makes the day drag on longer. Went downtown and paid the annual property taxes this morning, and even that didn't cool things off. I absolutely love cumdumps, full of Sperm off previous Cocks, and love rutting in as many available Holes in the darkroom as I can. Entering a very dark room full of Lust-driven men, eating Spermholes full of loads, rutting in them, Breeding in them, sucking Sperm off Cocks, is a huge thrill, in that I get to (by association) "connect" with exponentially more of my Brothers than are even in the darkroom in the first place. As it happens, I've had a very stimulating week of it (sexually), without actually having any sex. Soooo - - - I'm just about burning up. And it's only early afternoon, dammittall ... <<<filthy grin>>> It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

NO. You should never feel guilty about who you are, what your (fantasies?) are. Guilt is surely one of the most destructive characteristics we can hold onto. You definitely should tread very carefully (in terms of real life, I mean), but you simply may not learn to feel guilty about it. Now. Obviously this guy likes you on at least some level. I think you should follow his lead - let him make a "first move", if there's to be one. If it's you that makes a faux pas, then it's you that will have to carry that unfortunate event. I am ill-equipped regarding the so-called "gaydar" thing ... I must have been porking something in the john when they handed out the gaydar. If you possess any, use it carefully. I'd let him do the advancing, and be happy if it comes. Be happy you at least have his friendship for now. Friendship is great, even if you wish it were more. Given that you found BZ, you already know a little something about fb's as opposed to friends. Good Luck !!!

Hey there, ghfan4life Above, you will find two replies to your question. One is of great value, from an experienced, dedicated, "whole" man. Read it carefully, since it offers true, honest and genuine guidance regarding your question. Of course, you are entitled to make your own decision, and good on you for asking questions. Best -

Actually, I think that scent goes by another moniker too .... it's also called "poppers" ... <<<filthy grinnnn>

and I 4th this - or is it 5th? 6th? ... It can be tough to overcome the "conditioning" we've been immersed in our entire lives, but the only real choice is are we going to follow what we know we must to to be whole men, or are we going to succumb to cultural pressures. One choice offers self-fulfillment, the satisfaction that we've considered all aspects, and "made it" to accepting our own truth. The other is a slippery slope to a wasted life, in that we're avoiding our personal truth. There will be consequences - there always are. It's a fascinating realization for those who recognize it - so consider the whole ball of wax carefully - since (per prior comments), once you taste the forbidden fruit, you'll only crave more and more. Good luck !!! It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

So, rapeday ... First, congratulations on making your decision. Too many men waste years sitting on the fence. Resolve, one way or the other, is a good thing. There are a number of men who have given you very good advice. Follow their advise. I would add one more: if you haven't already, get a gay internist, or at least one who supports the idea of being the man you were born to be. I have a gay internist (I've seen him at the tubs taking loads, and I very seldom hit the tubs, and no I haven't). Obviously, he understands my own needs, and is completely supportive. I see him monthly for tests, and when I do catch something it's treated right away. I've come down with a number of std's through the years, and so will you. It's just part of "the life", but for some of us, it's well worth the bother to be sexually Free. A dedicated cumdump is always attractive for men like me, and occasionally a real thrill. Life is great - I hope you enjoy yours fully !!! It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Every one of these replies is great. All the potential risks, all the potential gains. I too would urge substantial caution, but ... maybe this would be helpful. You said he came over to your place to watch a movie. That has set a precedent for him coming over to your place again sometime, for whatever reason. The joint photo posted online somewhere must mean something, but I have no idea what. Figure out some obliquely "gay" item*, and leave it not in the middle of a clutter-free coffee table. That would be far to blunt. Leave it somewhere, among other stuff, but where a carefully inspecting eye might notice it. It could be a book among other books, it could be something with the "rainbow" on it amongst other stuff, perhaps partially covered up. Be oblique about it. Then, if he sees it and says anything, asks if you're gay, you can shrug it off and say something like "yeah, did you want cream or sugar in your coffee?", and in your most "offhand" way. If you think he noticed the item, but didn't say anything, for heavens sake, don't sit close to him right away. Assume he's not threatened, and let him bring it up in conversation. Good Luck !!! *Not porn.

Your point is well taken, hungry hole. Thanks for the post. Frankly, everyone (not just we Breeders - everyone) is thoroughly conditioned by Madison Ave to a) do everything we can to emulate conventional notions of "beauty", and b) therefore dis-associate from what M.A. tells us to believe it not "beautiful". Every time we watch tv we see endless ads for cremes, pills, diet contrivances, muscle-building "fitness" machines, even such distasteful commercials dealing with cleaning the female genitalia !!! Thus, we are immersed in conditioning as to what is "beautiful", "attractive" is also yourhful. What we are not conditioned to accept, is that there is more to people then merely whether they're outwardly "attractive". Everyone ages, and thus falls out of the attention of Madison Ave. Obviously though, they peddle the illusion to everyone in the effort to peddle more junk. Sure - a young man in the bloom of early adulthood is a pleasure to Breed, but that pleasure is only skin-deep. If one gets more acquainted with that young man, he could turn out to possess a beautiful soul too - or, a shallow one. Thus, men of a certain seasoning (read older) may learn to develop a sense of deeper worth, deeper value in a bottom who is experienced at his craft. More devoted, more sincere, more committed to servicing BreedCock than a younger guy. You're correct in believing that most Tops are just interested in rutting in a pretty Hole. There are some of us though, that would much prefer to Breed in a Hole that recognizes and accepts his Calling, and services Cock with that mental, emotional, sometimes even spiritual commitment. As a Top, and in the context of a bar, backroom, cruise joint - I don't really get impressed with a Hole until I observe the above-mentioned attributes, which I find far more Cock-hardening than just a pretty face/body/Hole. I accept that my perspective may not agree with most Tops, but over the years I've learned that commitment to servicing Cock is far sexier than just being younger. Given that it's not that easy to find, I seldom fuck 1-1, preferring to hit the darkrooms and wade into the melee of Cocks Breeding Holes just for the pure thrill of it. I never expect to find any kind of real "value" in that context, but it damn sure gets my blood boiling. Point: maybe you could broaden your horizons a bit - find a more varied set of locations where you can offer your qualities. Why go back to where the prettyboys are busy soaking up all the Sperm? Find a cruise bar - make acquaintances - become something of a regular. I'd guess that you'll be a bit busier. Best wishes ...

I'm not an atty, but one of my neighbors is, and I just borrowed his lawyers hat. There is an unstated quotient to this post, which only addresses behavior. Slutty behavior, in and of itself, is great, it's thrilling, and compelling. But there's an unstated facet here: "How, then, do we calculate the value of a cumdump slut?" We calculate the dedication to his calling the subject slut displays. We consider what qualities, other than slutting, the man possesses. Gold is valuable, and so are those eggs. Slutting - offering up one's Hole to any and all who need/desire it can be a self-centered act, as well as (and surely more rarely) an "other-centered" act. In my experience, most sluts are more self-centered than "other-centered". Of course, the satisfaction of servicing a Cock until it Breeds is something all cumsluts enjoy, but I would hazard that most don't engage in slutting in an altruistic mindset. "This is a bottom of remarkable promiscuity, with little or no discretion over whose cock he will take into his warm and waiting hole, who goes out of his way to frequent locales where he can be readily identified and used by any who pass by, and who actively and lewdly advertises himself as a mere vulgar sexual receptacle" Yes, that is exciting to a lot of Cocks, the owners of which may or may not give a rat's ass why the Sperm Receptacle does what he does. When I'm in a darkroom, I surely don't, but then I don't know anything about the guy either. That said, when I do know something about the guy*, and it's an "other-centered" service (and not merely self-centered), slutting becomes honorable, deserving of respect. In the economic context, it makes him valuable. Sometimes of great value. " draws certain types of Dominant males like moths to a flame". Guilty - joyfully, happily, shamelessly Guilty ... the sluttier the better. "For some, the value diminishes" because they are basically self-centered, and may have not given any thought to the aspirations the slut is living up to (or would that be down?). In any case, the basic act can be happily accomplished, but not the "mating with one's brother-in-Lust". "Therefore I have to conclude that some value is placed on ass based on how readily available it is". Correct, in most cases. Incorrect however, when the entirety of the slut's behavior is known. In most cases, that opportunity isn't the goal, only getting off in a wet Hole is. But it's missing the "connection" entirely, which is regrettable. Some Tops are completely unaware there even is a connection possible with a man who sluts his Hole. They're missing out on how much depth there can be in Breeding a slutty Hole. "I’ve had so many Tops hold off coming to fuck me until I have another load already in me." These Tops are getting closer to real appreciation for men like you. Thus, they will part with more gold or whatever to rut in your Sperm-filled Hole with some modicum of respect for who and what you are. " Yet so often I see such guys spoken of in scorn by Tops expressing how little they’re interested in fucking them." It's not the buff body, it's not the posing, it's the self-centeredness on display. Whether the subject knows it or not, he's virtually hollering "you're not hot enough to fuck me" by his behavior. Who wants to give our Cock to that kind of hauteur? Maybe it's the Holes perceived insecurity, maybe it's this, maybe it's that - but one thing it is definitely not is "other-focused". Yes, men who slut their Holes are sexually magnetic to most Tops - it's like "ohhh ... look at that guy taking loads ... I want to get a piece of that too". For the discerning, it's absolute magic !!! I rest my case, return the lawyers cap, and restate: your "other-centeredness" is what makes you special. It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm *for instance, when a fb is whoring out his boy

Maybe I've become a bit jaded, having lived in large cities all my life. Maybe I've lost whatever sense of purity I ever had. All I can say in reply is, your sense of caring for others is truly enormous. You have my utmost respect.

Well, you're right, DarkroomTaker ... we did kinda get off on a tangent. Apologies !!

Welllll ... I guess I'm a bit weird ... I don't like being on my knees at all. If I suck a Cock off, my #1 choice would be with my Cock rutting in a bent-over Hole, the Cock standing over the Hole I'm fucking, with his Cock pointed straight at my mouth, oozing Cockdrool, and really in need of attention. It's the compounding of the depth of wanton behavior that would be appealing, using my Cock and my mouth at the same time. If there were a #2, it would be standing, with the Cock elevated (i.e. an elevated gh construct) whereby I could focus only on the Cock. Don't kick me outta here .... I can't help that I'm a little bit weird about this one !!! Never-the-less, it's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

For you, then, it's entirely good and useful and honest to wear it. Circumstances are different for every guy, and how we choose to meet those circumstances is no one's business but their own. If I were at the tubs, and I noticed a man wearing that kind collar, I'd merely hang the towel on my hard Cock, get in line, and wait my turn to celebrate the mating ritual with that man, hoping that I'd be the umpteenth guy to do so. At the tubs, I wouldn't be expecting any "traditional" Leather scene, other than maybe the Dom whoring out his Breedboy, which would preclude the wearing of any hides. I don't wear traditional gear when I hit the fuckjoints. Actually, the tubs can be an ideal place for a Dom to teach his boy to focus solely on servicing The Cock, since there is so little else for the boy to see in the first place. One of my buddies back north did that to help his boy "get over" certain hang-ups, and it was an effective training tool. I'm guessing that your collar is, mentally, always on your neck, in the sense that your mind is always focused on fulfilling your goal, your destiny. The physical collar is to announce to the world that you've worked hard to become the man you were born to be, that you're clear and confident about that, Discerning men - men of experience - men who really know themselves, are often to recognize a man of your capacities with or without the balls-stirring optical statement. Countering the fundamental emotional joy of Breeding/Mating with as many of our Brothers-in-this-Life as we possibly can, is the unfortunate restriction of judging a man by his (or worse, our own) physical appearance. One of the physical characteristics I tend to avoid is obesity, mostly since I'm not swinging a "porn-Cock". I'm certainly not ashamed of it, and being physically slender, it presents ok, but if I can't get into the actual Hole for all the flesh surrounding it, I tend to steer clear. So, we all have choices to make, and for our own reasons. As long as it's honest, not harmful to anyone, helps one focus on what's really important, I'm all for it. One last point: Among your many talents, I rather doubt that "invisibility" is one of them, and certainly not to a man with a horny eye. It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Good morning ... again. Obviously, I read/answered a different communication before reading this one. The above is completely clear and unequivocal, and I thank you for sharing these facets of your journey. Perhaps it's my deeply held convictions regarding the Leather Ethic that instigated concern in previous posts. In my experience, I have seen and known a number of guys that put on a collar to announce their submission when they're out cruising, similar to an armband or other "flagging" gear (particularly if they're somewhat "butch" in appearance), and I considered the term "Collared" in the traditional sense. That's on me, and my apologies. Some Dom Leathermen believe that a boy should be torn down to his bare essentials, and then "rebuilt" into what his Dom needs. I have no judgements against that, as long as it's included in the initial negotiations. I happen to believe that a boy should be built UP to his potential, not torn down and re-built. You have managed to accomplish that monumental task without the intimate Care of a Dom - without being Collared in the traditional sense. I remain awed by y our inner strength, honesty, courage and conviction. Reaching the depths / heights of your convictions - assisted by your former Master - is absolutely remarkable. Thus, there was a Negotiation, fully and fairly conducted between two men, albeit a non-traditional one. Whether it was "conventional" in the context of the Leather Ethic matters not one whit. What matters is, it happened, and each participant was enriched by it. When I was accountable to those two subs (mentioned in a previous post), both were "conventional" collarings, which placed me in the position of caring for, protecting, ensuring safety) of each. And I did that. Again, thanks for the clarification. I could hardly disagree more. (this time, it's all about way more than) Cock/Hole/Sperm

When I first read your earlier mention, I didn't quite 'get it'. Now, although I've never heard of or experienced it before, at least I have now. Thanks.

"You see, I know I keep saying it, and I don’t expect that any of you actually believe me because it just sounds too much like a fantasy, but when a Top asks me for my ass, I feel psychologically compelled to obey. A man used actual techniques to train me to react this way." I don't think this sounds like a fantasy - it sounds more like a mind-fuck turned into a nightmare. My question is, where is the man that you refer to above? Since it was he who used certain techniques to instill the psychological compulsion to obey (I'm assuming the compulsion to offer your Breedhole to any Cock in need of it), it is his responsibility to also "filter" this compulsion, removing spurious/dangerous "advances" and requiring your Hole to service serious ones. Perhaps he sensed your Calling before you realized it, and helped you overcome extraneous conditioning that interfered with your innate needs. (i.e. cultural, religious, etcetera), and freed your thought-process of these regrettable influences. Perhaps he wasn't quite so high-minded, and enjoyed the manipulation. I have no idea. But what I do believe, is that man owes you control over what he instilled in your most intelligent mind as well. If your compulsion to Service is open-ended, events as described above are sure to happen, and if you have no defenses against those who would take advantage of your generosity, then I would suggest that only half of the "gift" the man gave you was actually given. You also need the freedom, the ability to actively defend yourself from deleterious situations. It's like being placed a magnificent rowboat, and shoved out into a river with no oars. The rocks, shallows, submerged tree trunks are still there, and you have no matching, "other side of the coin" compulsion to avoid them. Of course everyone should ideally be generous; feed the hungry, clothe the naked (well ... except in certain, specific situations), shelter the homeless. That's the Universal Message every human being needs to uphold, without expecting recompense. Give freely, as was given to us freely. These are uplifting, not "down-dragging" acts. "So, what is the moral of this tale? I’m not really sure. I want to be able to continue to place my trust in the essential good nature of people; I’m a trusting soul to start with, but if I’m going to achieve my goal of giving Tops the ability to take absolutely anything they want from me, I have to not only remain intimately vulnerable, but become radically more so." Obviously, I'm sorry to know what you experienced that night (except for the young man that rang down the curtain for the evening). but I don't think the fault lies with your instincts, however generous they may be. Since your goal is "giving Tops the ability to take absolutely anything they want from me", that would include not showing up, presenting themselves as something other than what they actually are, any number of deceptive negatives. I too am generous in believing in humanity's innate goodness. I have been called gullible many more times than once, and I made it my business to learn from those experiences. That may be positive, maybe negative, but it is also defensive in nature. I still keep a old altoid box in the car with folding money, since there are beggars at almost every stoplight in this burg. I support charities I believe worthy, Friends who need help know they can call me. I recite these things not to inflate myself, but to point out that we can learn acts to defend ourselves from charlatans when we need to. Maybe you could consider - if the man who refined your innate instincts is no longer present in your life - an addendum to your goal. Add another phrase something like .... "anything they want from me, provided it's an honest and true need. I exist, my Hole exists to provide for your COCK'S needs, not your psychological deficiencies". You do clearly owe your Hole to any/every raw Cock that needs to Breed Hole. That's 100% valid, commendable, and magnificent. But you do not owe unsupervised misuse of your gifts to any ragamuffin who happens by, looking for whatever they can wring out of you. What you don't owe, is being used, mistreated, taken advantage of. You're just too valuable to waste yourself on other folks bullshit. It's all about (and this time, in the strictest sense) Cock/Hole/Sperm

Good luck, bud - we're all hoping it works out for you too !!!

For me, the advent of hiv was still a few years in the future. The only guys that used condoms (at that time) had developed some sort of fetish about them - condoms were mostly unheard of in the gay community. They were considered somewhat of an oddity, as in "ok - whatever fetish floats your boat". It was when hiv came a-calling that guys started using them to stave off the virus. I remember at one of the bars (Cellblock on Halsted) that in the back-bar (which was also the fuckroom), one night being aghast at two Leathermen fucking raw right by the doorway to the back bar. It was shocking - the bottom had wasting syndrome, the Top was clearly unwell. While they were observed, no guy went anywhere near them (at least that I saw). But. Both the bartenders in the back bar would fix a "racehorse" if asked ... it was a great bar at the time. I recall one of them being asked, the bartender kind of cocked his head in thought - and said "yeah, I think I can - just made two a few minutes ago" There was also a long, narrow, elevated "observation" deck with a few 2x4's knocked up to keep guys from falling down to the floor. Guys cruising / fucking on the main floor could watch what was going on on the "o.d.". Someone who shall remain nameless actually got a round of applause after a very thorough Breeding of a hotttt Hole. The last time I was there, a buddy and I drove over to "Crisco Heights" actually found a parking place, and tried to go in. Some guy answered the door, and told us that we couldn't enter (we were both in gear), since it was "Latin Dance Night" !!! Thus endeth a really great BreedBar, dammittall.

There was a bit of a "sleaze-strip" across Sheridan Road up at the Great Lakes base, far Northern Il - Gurnee, maybe? I'm not sure if it's still there, but it was off-limits to the guys on base, so something must have been happening down there. There's a porn "star" that I met later on - the one with the huge bio tat on his belly, from Davenport, when he was fucking one of my neighbors. Can't recall his name - and probably wouldn't mention it if I could. But, there was usually a smattering of seafood at the gay bar on the interstate west of Kenosha.

Clearly, there are different cultural strata involved, and teaching the universal "moral code" doesn't enter the minds of two straights that begot these liars, which "parents" weren't taught it either. Even what should be an innate sense of fairness often doesn't exist. These guys are basically cowards, able to excuse their cowardice with who knows what kind of mental juggling, and it's entirely possible some are reading this right now. Unfortunately, this type will always be around, to their shame. It's not the pandemic - it's the flaw in their character. As far as I know, no one has yet invented a Cosmic Chalkboard where these guys can be "outed" as flakes for all to see. Unfortunately, bearing the burden of flakes clotting up the community is one more hurdle, in a life full of them.

I don't take all that much Cock up my gut, but when I do, it's to feel totally "connected" to the guy, his Cock, and by extension, all the other Holes he's bred. I don't particularly like getting fucked, but I absolutely love the feeling of "connection" to every other BreedHole, every other BreedCock, every other Pig-in-Lust, every other Brother ... kinda on the ethereal side of it, but ... there it is. It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

WELL DONE, TREEHUGGER !!!!!!! The mind boggles at the very notion, and so do the Cock & balls. To the topic question though, I've been sort of tossing around different things I have yet to do, and I think I've come up with my answer: I've never actually sucked/licked/ate a Hole with a Cock pumping Sperm at the same time. I've seen it done in the fuckflicks of course, and the notion of having my tongue actually be part of the Breeding just turns my Cock to granite. I've sucked tons of freshly-bred Holes, and loved every one. I've sucked the Sperm off Cocks after they've shot up a Hole and pulled out, but I still haven't actually been an "active participant" when some other Cock is Breeding raw Hole. Maybe one of these nights ...... It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Two sides of a different coin: Yes, I love the fact that we can indulge our horticultural efforts year-round. Yes, I love the fact that it never snows. When I moved to Ft.L., I almost wept with joy when I gave neighborhood friends my snowshovels, snowblowers, salt, all the "winter stuff" as well as the lawnmowers. Here, I have no "lawn", only paved pathways through a richly planted tropical wonderland I can fuss with all year round. No, I have rather little regard for where I live now, in that what passes for legitimate theatre is absolutely laughable. We had far better troupes in the neighborhoods back in Chicago, let alone the major theatre companies downtown/near north side. Goodman, Steppenwolf, Court, No, I have less than little regard for where I live now, in that what passes for musical "life" does not exist. There is visiting orchestra from Miami regularly - a limited ensemble, and the conductor doesn't attempt more than his forces can handle - it's at least something. As far as Dance goes, there's the annual, imported Tchaikovsky and that's about it. What passes around here for "art" is shameful. I don't expect the Art Institute, I don't expect the CSO, Lyric, or the dozens of smaller ensembles, but geez. No, in the sense that City Government has little apparent idea regarding infrastructure. They're up to not much more than destroying older, more bohemian neighborhoods and throwing up new high-rise buildings (which, unless something really dramatic is done about the environment), will be washed away in a few years anyway. Politically, this is the biggest small town I've ever experienced. They're boys in little-boy-pants, trying to pretend they're all grown up now, sort of like the Emperor that ran naked, believing his ass was actually covered. No. Pay-to-play is expected in most municipalities, and that system is ok when it works. Chicago was "organized" down to the precinct-level, home by home. I know, because I was a part of it for a number of years. Yes, I know that where I used to live is the "second city", after NYC. Yes, I know it's far larger, far more culturally developed, blah blah blah. Sexually, Chicago was a veritable smorgasbord, with all kinds of action, In the city, in the burbs; if you can imagine it, there were places to do it. Not just in boystown either - all over the place. I won't even go into it. Most you you know already anyway. But, the paramount thing I do not miss about Chicago is that every November, the days grow dim, more grey skies than sunny, the increasing cold, and accursed Winter. It comes every year and stays for 4 months, sometimes longer. Here in SoFl, yes, we do get hurricanes once in a while. They come, do their damage, and go. But they don't come every single year, and they don't last for 4 months. The last one to bother Ft.L.. was 3 years ago. So, I made the trade-off, having loved Chicago for it's many attractions, and moved to Ft.L. for a lot less, and enjoying warm, sunny weather year-round. I'd do it again.

Phimosis !!! Thanks, Hairypiglet - I'd never heard of it before your reply. That must have been the problem when I was a kid. All I remember is my dad sticking a cotton swab up there with some medicine on it, and it hurt like hell. But the threat of being cut on was more than enough for me to stretch that hole open and then some. Now, after many years of "service", there isn't really a piss-hole anymore ... can't quite figure out why ... <grinnnn> E.W. That's another new one for me. I'd never heard that "reason" before.

I'm not embarrassed about doing that ... For one of them (Bijou Theatre on Wells St.) I put a 3" holesaw on my small cordless drill and that was that. There was another one over on Rt. 50 in WI, and I did that one with a pocket knife. Took a few visits, but, it was a rural area, and those farmboys were firm-assed from - I don't know - maybe pitchforking all that hay in the barn ??? Maybe that's where they would go to Breed each other when they weren't hitting that little rest-stop on Hwy 50 ???