PrEP and Assholes

[BiAggieGuy]

Always going to be jerks. I get about 1 every couple of weeks on A4A, lecturing me about barebacking. I usually reply with one word, "blocked," and go on.

I think a few have good intentions (they're usually not rude, just on a crusade), but most I think are just trolling for a reaction.

It's funny how many guys on A4A got pissy when I hit them up because I bareback, but ended up months or even a year later fucking raw with me.

[seaguy]

I don't get the crusaders and there are plenty of them. Don't they have enough going on in their own lives? I sure as hell know I do. So I don't go telling people what kind of sex they should be having or porn they should be viewing.

[6811283]

I think the hookup sites should add "neg, on PrEP" as a standard menu choice for status. And guys on PrEP should be open about it to educate people and clear up misconceptions. It may scare off some assholes in the short term, but ultimately guys who want to minimize their risk while BBing will start to realize that PrEPpies are a far safer bet than the self-identified neg guys.

[Poz1956]

The guy is already poz. Perhaps he's trying to save me from making the same mistakes he's already made. Who knows.

With that additional piece of info, he's probably caught HIV sometime in the last two years, and hasn't come to terms with it himself.

I'd be there is also a tinge of jealousy or regret that he didn't go on PrEP or have it as an option before he became Poz.

[wood]

He's obviously one of those guys who thinks four things. The kind of things guys who know absolutely nothing about HIV think.

He's a top, therefore he thinks he's at almost no risk. Gee I hope he's an uncut one, but he wouldn't know there's a difference in risk between cut and uncut, right?

He actually believes that everyone who says they are Neg, is actually Neg. I'd bet you he has no idea about the window period, and only asks what the results of a guy's last test is. I'd also bet he never asks how long ago that Neg test result was. Some guys haven't been tested in years, but still proudly assert that they are Neg. (They might be, or might not be)

He is 100% sure that HIV is being spread by Poz guys under treatment. He has no idea that almost all new infections are from guys who don't know they are Poz.

His sole safe sex strategy is to immediately reject any guy who says he is Poz.

Let's see a guy who ridicules you for using a pill that might not be 100% effective (but is darn close if taken daily). He's on a BB site. It would be interesting to see what his explanation of HIS OWN HIV avoidance strategy is. Exactly how is his way 100% effective?

Most guys out there known almost nothing about HIV and it's transmission. They can't possibly understand an undetectable viral load. They'll scream "Junk Science" at the results from the Partner study. We can't expect these Einsteins to understand PrEP.

Moronic drivel. Consider the source, and ignore it. I'll bet you if he becomes Poz, he will be one of those "Clean U B 2" guys who isn't quite as clean as he thought, but will seed it into many people for months before he tests again.

Here's a good point. When a guy pulls that shit, ask him when his last test was, and how often he gets tested. That will give you a very good idea how knowledgeable he really is.

This is pretty spot on. However I must say I have also got some "blowback" from a few poz guys I tried to mess with. I know its for other reasons, but they said no way dude, I only mess with other poz guys, and I dont care what they say about PrEP, you will become POZ if you mess with POZ guys.

But yeah I am very open with friends about me being on PrEP too, and many have some wild preconceived notions about what it is, what it does, and how effective it is.

Suffice to say there are plenty of uneducated people everywhere, and the sad part is they are the ones spreading HIV. Look at HIV infections rates in the united states south. They are highest among poor people with little education. Education really is a key step to eradicating HIV

[wood]

Always going to be jerks. I get about 1 every couple of weeks on A4A, lecturing me about barebacking. I usually reply with one word, "blocked," and go on.

I think a few have good intentions (they're usually not rude, just on a crusade), but most I think are just trolling for a reaction.

It's funny how many guys on A4A got pissy when I hit them up because I bareback, but ended up months or even a year later fucking raw with me.

HAHAHA, yup. I had a serious talk with a very close friend of mine about a month ago. He has always played it that he is 100% safe. This time however he relented a bit and said, yeah I try to be safe...I informed him there is a big difference between trying it, and actually practicing it, and thats one of the main reasons I choose PrEP.

Many if not the majority of men will play raw if given the chance, they just don't want to admit it.

[wood]

I'd be there is also a tinge of jealousy or regret that he didn't go on PrEP or have it as an option before he became Poz.

I hate to say it, but I think for some of the guys who became poz in the past few years this is a huge factor. They regret making the decisions they did that lead to their infection, and think "I really should have make some different choices" Even if PrEP wasnt available when they became infected, IMO some poz guys almost view it as unfair that PrEP is now an option. IMO thats one of the unsaid reasons the AIDS healthcare foundation is against PrEP. There is a tinge of jealous and hate that PrEP actually works, and now guys may be able to do some of the things they were not able to do, less they become infected.

[CreamDream]

$10 says he's one of the guys unwittingly spreading HIV

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

Like Taylor Swift I shake it off, and I get it all the time...well intentioned pearl clutching slut shamers who bitch about me advertising I want it bareback on my CL ad, or Grindr profile...Jesus, that's why I switched to BBRT and I get it there too. They're usually older guys who survived the early days of AIDS who feel it's their civic duty to warn us about the perils of sex. I get the points they're making and yeah, Prep isn't 100% effective but it's better than nothing and if used with condoms really makes the risk almost nothing. To that end I've also switched my status to "Ask me" to avoid that kind of conflict. I want a guy to want me because I'm hot, or slutty, or am I to what he wants, not to fetishize me because I'm neg and he wants to poz me, or I'm poz and he wants my toxic seed. I've known guys on Prep who went crazy on barebacking and got other STDs so keep that in mind and definitely get vaccinated for the different hepatitis strains! I had a bud on it get pozzed, but he wasn't compliant with taking his meds like he should have, so make sure to follow to the letter. Don't let him get you down!

[1happyhomo]

Sex practice shaming within the queer community seems to be common as others suggest. It may be our natural tendency to be little bitches at time. I think it is more of an extension of current society that whenever a platform is offered, some have a desire to shame anyone/anything that is different than they hold to be true. Religion and politics both are wide spread examples of areas where social media has seemed to encourage shaming/bullying. No reason to expect that the fuck practices of faggots would be immune.

Even though I had been a very out queer/transvestite barebacker for many years, I became an early adoptor of PReP. I happily added that tidbit of info to most of my profiles in hopes of spicing up my own fucking. I was pleased that it did, but also surprised that I was shamed by many. I was accused of being less than a real queer...wanting to play queer, but stay safe. It was suggested that I was still in the closet sexually since I was "hiding" behind PReP. I ignored most of that and as PReP became more widely prescribed, some of that crap stopped (or i just got better at tuning it out).

Fast forward to this month. I stopped PReP and started chasing. After a number of exposures, I began changing my status to unknown and posting a bit about my choice. As you might imagine, the shamers were out in force---even a few from this site. As near as I can tell, I am now responsible for a renewed increase in HIV infections and the demise of the health care system in the US.

We have enough haters outside of the gay community. Perhaps it would do us all some good to be less critical and more supportive of each other.

[wow4761]

Haha since moving to DC I've had zero guys lecture me about going raw, or even asking for a condom when we meet in person even if profile says 'safe only'.

In fact ... I've never had a guy even bring up raw / safe, or HIV status. It's just if I'm physically clean, or STD free. 

Remember some of the profiles are of health workers and religious zealots, out on a crusade; on BBRT, I see at least two health outreach ones, commonly when Cumunion is in town at Crew. Uncommon, but it happens. 

Edited April 21, 2017 by wow4761