What is the Worst Reaction You've Received to Disclosing Your Status?

[Ranger Rick]

When you are Undetectable, you are the safest fuck out there. You are a much better choice than the "neg" guy who "thinks" he's "clean" but doesn't yet know he's been exposed and guys are starting to catch on! Guys who are undetectable and guys on PreP are the new safe sex.

Which is why guys are starting to lie about being 'Undetectable.'

[cam1972]

Which is why guys are starting to lie about being 'Undetectable.'

And there you have it. The reason why you need to be prepared for anything if you choose to bareback. I agree with Ranger Rick. People lie about everything if it gets them what they want. Unless you truly know the individual that you are fucking, you are putting yourself at risk. Period. I guess the adage "Ignorance is bliss" applies here. You have to come to terms with what you are willing to deal with before you take the proverbial plunge and bareback. Or.. Have sex, safe or not. I might take it a step further and say that people should decide what you are willing to deal with before you put yourself out there. Be it on the internet or in a club. Should guys be honest about their status? Yes. But ultimately, each individual has to take responsibility for their health. I think if guys thought about these things (and became educated) before putting an ad online, there would be a lot less drama and stigma and a lot more fucking.

[jtonic]

And there you have it. The reason why you need to be prepared for anything if you choose to bareback. I agree with Ranger Rick. People lie about everything if it gets them what they want. Unless you truly know the individual that you are fucking, you are putting yourself at risk. Period. I guess the adage "Ignorance is bliss" applies here. You have to come to terms with what you are willing to deal with before you take the proverbial plunge and bareback. Or.. Have sex, safe or not. I might take it a step further and say that people should decide what you are willing to deal with before you put yourself out there. Be it on the internet or in a club. Should guys be honest about their status? Yes. But ultimately, each individual has to take responsibility for their health. I think if guys thought about these things (and became educated) before putting an ad online, there would be a lot less drama and stigma and a lot more fucking.

I think the stigma, more than anything else, is the most difficult thing to deal with. I thought I was fine, but recently, trying to meet guys, I realize sex will be my biggest struggle. I'm not a bottom pig who will do anon sex - I think I'd have an easier time if I was. But I'm not ready for that. And I'm taking a huge toll on my sex life.

[AndyOboy]

the worse and best thing I ever hear is "you should have told me before I swallowed your toxic."

[Guest Pwrfkme06]

You neg faggot the HIV will get you one day

[jtonic]

Posted an ad on Craigslist. Here's one guy who just blasted me with repeated emails:

AIDS, you dumb stupid fucking asshole

you totally sick stupid fucking dangerous asshole who spreads disease

I shouldn't let these people affect me, but it's hard not to feel hurt.

[seaguy]

Which is why guys are starting to lie about being 'Undetectable.'

Is there clear evidence of a trend of guys lying about their undetectable status or is this just something you heard?

[slowfuck]

An ignorant stupid frightened asshole with a diseased (as in not at ease) mind himself by the sounds of it. Sadly a by-product of the anonymity of the internet. It is indeed very difficult not to get dishearted with these trolls but you are the one being honest and acting with integrity here. He's not.

Posted an ad on Craigslist. Here's one guy who just blasted me with repeated emails:

I shouldn't let these people affect me, but it's hard not to feel hurt.

[cam1972]

Posted an ad on Craigslist. Here's one guy who just blasted me with repeated emails:

I shouldn't let these people affect me, but it's hard not to feel hurt.

The fact that he doesn't know the difference between AIDS and HIV is sad. There is absolutely NO excuse for ignorance anymore. According to my ID doctor, AIDS is an outdated term. Technically (if we went by the standard used when AIDS first hit), since I've had cancer since being poz, I would have AIDS. That's by the government standards. But it no longer applies. But back to the prick who messaged you.... Guys like that.... You are much better than they. I know it hurts. I've heard that shit too. And it doesn't get easier after hearing it several times. But try to remember that he is an ass and extremely not worth your time.

[askingforit]

I need to add that i WILL do everything it takes to go undetectable.

i have this strong envy of anyone who is neg right n ow.

fuck this life.

Hey I had much of the same feeling, it really bites at first. If you were like me you avoided guy that were poz like the plague, the ad's on CL and other hook sites suddenly hit home. We've all seen them, "I'm clean UB 2" the truth is once your undetectable it will be nearly impossible for you to transmit anything and if you're exclusively bottoming it is impossible for you to transmit anything to anyone. There is life after being POZ and plenty of guys who will still sleep with you. If you would like to PM me please do. I know how hard it is for you right now

[Bottomhole]

I've only told my family doctor, and the look of sadness in his eyes, will stay with me for a long time. Made me cry immediately 

[TigerMilner]

I hooked up last night with a fuck buddy from my pre-poz past.  We always had hot sex before and he is a very hot professional type latino and is very passionate.  We sort of lost contact because he had a boyfriend and when I tested positive in April of 2012 I cut off all but one of my regular buds.  I just didn't want to have to tell him because he and I know so many people in common.  We recently reconnected on Grindr and I knew I still wanted it.  I was nervous about disclosing my status change since he always knew me as a neg bottom.  Shortly after I got to his place he received a text.  He asked me if I was up for making it a threesome.  We've done that many times in the past.  I said sure.  He then asked me if I was poz friendly.  I said "I'm glad you brought that up".  All he said was "Me too". 

 

It was that easy.  Then we had incredible sex for two hours.  Disclosure doesn't have to go badly. 

[evilqueerpig]

Poz status and negative attitudes don't mix......I have HIV, but it doesn't have me!

[ButchGuy78]

My worst reaction I was told "You need to be voted off the Island" like we're on survivor. He was cute as hell dumb as a post.

Even now It never surprises me when guys are just clueless as the difference between AIDS and being HIV+. There is a major difference as those are two different conditions.

@ Jtonic, I'm sorry your having a struggle with all this, I believe this is why this site was created. If you ever wanna vent hit me up, more then happy to listen/chat with a fellow POZ guy.

@Site Admonistrators, thanks for starting the site.

[sluttysublad]

Met this great neg guy about a month ago, I disclosed I was Poz and not on meds, he fucked me anyway.  Started meeting regular, was even talking about a potential LTR

 

Then one night he suddenly blocks me on FB, Whats-App, Phone everything.  No reason given, the previous night we were chatting normally the next day I wake up and I was blocked.  Was like WTF... thought fuck it I'm going round to get the blister pack of Viagra I gave him and the poppers.  He relents and we discuss meeting for a drink to talk but he can't because he has 'an appointment he cant cancel'.  So talked to him after that appointment and it turns out that he thought I was undetectable because I wasn't on meds (WTF???).  He then starts going crazy at me for being poz and how he is fucking up his life seeing me, turns out the appointment was the GUM clinic.  The fact I put my dick in him on his insistence was suddenly my fault (i hate topping, and never cum from it, I only do it if I really want to please someone).  His profile on recon was 'needs discussion' and he 'never used rubbers'.

 

Basically I was up front and open about my status he assumed all sorts of things that if he had asked me I would have told him were not true.  It surprised me really because he was 20 years older and had BB'd his way through the 80's and was a very intelligent guy - we used to discuss continental philosophy and stuff in bed after fucking, it was one of the things I liked best about him, his intelligence (OK and his 10 inch penis!!).

 

Anyway the short and tall of it is that he blocked me again and I doubt I'll see him again.  The moral of the story is even when you are honest if a neg guy has a hard cock he'll probably overlook your status until he has blown his load a few times, then he'll kick you to the curb and tell you its your own fault.

Edited November 29, 2014 by sluttysublad