Is It Ok To Ask Cumunion Members To Wrap Up?

[jdman]

I have to admit I am terrified of getting HIV. I have a girlfriend (who encouraged me to go to one of these events, basically she is amazing), and I could not let myself pass anything to her.

 

My solution is hoping I can trust people will wrap up if I write the note on my ass. I know it is silly asking this on a website like this, and believe me that if I could get in a swing and get 30 loads of my ass (with maybe some DP) and there was no risk of incurable diseases that limit my intimate contact with the ones I love, I would revel in hot cum coating my insides.

 

Will people at cumunion (442 in San Francisco) respect my wish or am I just going to be hanging there in a swing ass up, or possibly worse, someone bareback fucks me and though it would feel so fucking great (I may not be able to stop), I get infected and have to live with the consequences of their selfish but great feeling actions?

 

Please advise, cumunion is tomorrow and I do not know the community well enough to be able to tell how to go about this.

[tallbtm]

(1) Terrified of getting HIV?  Go on PrEP - Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, a daily pill to prevent HIV infection. There's a whole subforum here about it, and for good basic information start here: ispreprightforme.com and prepfacts.org

 

(2) Hoping I can trust people will wrap up if I write the note on my ass ...   Are you nuts!? At a specifically-bareback sex party!? 

 

(3) Risk of incurable diseases that limit my intimate contact with the ones I love --  Being HIV positive DOES NOT mean you can't have condomless sex with someone you love. Poz/undetectable partners (who take their meds daily as directed and have a viral load suppressed below "detectable" levels) DO NOT transmit HIV. See results of the PARTNERS study: http://betablog.org/zero-hiv-transmissions-with-condomless-sex/

[jdman]

Prep is an interesting idea particularly if getting filled with cum was a more constant thing in my life and not a periodic "splurge" heh.

 

Thanks. I am new to this and found that cumunion was 'open' to bareback but did not understand it _specifically_ bareback. 

 

Good to know.

[jdman]

I am likely being insolent, but one more question on this thread.

If I marked myself as 'NEG; undetectable only pls' or something like that, what are the chances of that being respected versus completely ignored.

I want to know simply because I really want to go tonight to please tons or horny guys and that is no time for prep. If that is the way it is though, I will keep myself from going because I could not help myself once there.

 

Thanks again everyone for answering my concerns. I hope I have not come off as offensive to the pos community. 

[Guest ff-whole]

Sorry, but in my humble opinion; you have no business there...

Asking for condoms at a bare party is like going fully clothed to a nude beach.

I don't want to sound rude or anything but find your own kind of party.

I think my respons is going to be repeated or even stronger voiced if you go there, so it is a stupid question to begin with.

[LarsLukas]

Your going to a bareback party and want to put restraints on others as part of the party. If you say neg or undecteable only... some 'neg' guys might not even know they have it or been tested. and then there are the stealth breeders..... looks like an invitation for them.....  oh one more thing.... Guys lie..... guys will do almost anything to get off....

 

I really dont think this is going to be your kind of party.... skip it

[BBPaulZA]

Sorry, but in my humble opinion; you have no business there...

Asking for condoms at a bare party is like going fully clothed to a nude beach.

I don't want to sound rude or anything but find your own kind of party.

I think my respons is going to be repeated or even stronger voiced if you go there, so it is a stupid question to begin with.

 

Have to agree.....

[FillMyArse]

From the title alone I WAS going to say of course it's ok to ask, just be prepared to LOTS of rejection. CumUnion London when I went, there was some condom usage around, a guy tried fucking me with a condom and I just said No thanks and off he went to find someone else. Don't know if he ever did get any action that night!

 

However, with your situation I think the others have summed it up pretty well.. CumUnion is NOT the place for you.

[roguematrix]

see my thought was sure you might get lots of guys wearing the condom...on their finger. the whole idea of the event is raw cum filled slutty sex. i feel it would be basically rude to ask others to change how they play at event made for them. Maybe you should rethink going and check your limits before going to an event. That being said, Prep is a good way to be safer and that is all you can hope for really. Even condoms are only safer sex, there are still risk such as Herpes and HPV which get transferred via skin contact alone. Good luck in you adventures.

[Guest ff-whole]

It's probably a troll trying out a stupid April fool joke. If so, I hope he gets banned.

[jdman]

Thanks everyone for the helpful advice. I know it was a stupid question now. I appreciate the help as I checked out this community and I am thankful for the realignment of my expectations and pointing out just what I was really asking. 

Also sorry, not April fools joke, I am just an idiot. .

[tallbtm]

No, you're not an idiot.  You're just uninformed.  That can change with education. Check out the links I gave you.

[Ocelot2000]

jdman,

 

I only bareback once in a while and I'm on PrEP. It doesn't have to be only for those who are barebacking 24/7. I seriously think you should consider going on it. That way whenever you decide to engage, you are protected. Communion is once a month and in San Fran there are tons of other parties throughout the month. It will give you peace of mind and you can then decide which parties you want to go to whenever the "need" arises, as your needs I would imagine come at the spare of the moment?

[wasptop79]

jdman,

 

I'm not sure why some of the previous responders felt the need to be assholes because this is a legitimate question.  Where else can you go to ask?

 

Cumunion is not a holy place.  It's where guys go to fuck.  They do provide rubbers, so asking what the odds are of guys fucking you with rubbers is appropriate.  (It's always low odds and very rare at a fuck party.)  Check out PrEP.  Also clarify with your gf the level of risk she's willing to accept, including HIV and all other STIs, and the level of risk you're willing to accept for her extracurriculars, including disease and pregnancy from a random guy.  Just because you bb with one guy doesn't mean you're required by the Laws of Gay Sex to bb with every guy.

 

Dan Savage has covered open relationships and his site may be helpful.

 

Good luck and happy fucking!

[seaguy]

I would think it would be more appropriate to ask guys to wrap up at the bathhouse at any time other than cumunion because to me cumunion is for barebacking.  It's main sponsor is Bareback Real Time and the name itselfs does not exactly scream safe condom only sex.  Asking guys to wrap up at Cumunion is almost like going to a bar and asking the people at the bar not to drink alcohol.