Sex Dead Cities/internet Regional Issue Or Worldwide?

[pervinmt]

Such an interesting topic. To hear guys in major metropolitan areas dealing with the same bullshit I deal with here makes me know it's not just me. I live in a town about 65,000 population. The nearest large city is about 12 hours away, either Seattle or Denver. We don't have a gay bar. So yea it's isolated. The only way to cruise is the internet. We do have an adult store with booths, but it's essentially a joke.

Cruising online has certainly changed. I don't know if it's just because I'm older, but I do seem to be in that horrible age bracket. I agree most everyone is in their 20's and those that aren't want the guys in their 20's. My thing is I like the older guys, always have, and I don't look for the 10. While I'm far from ugly, I'm not a 10 myself, more like a nice 7. But people do get hung up on the age thing. I've resorted to lying about it. I can place an add with my real age and get no response, or place the same add, drop 6 years, and get responses.

Now as far as those responses go, I agree it's mostly flakes. I especially hate the guys who ask for pics, but lo and behold NEVER have one to send back. Now I get that this is a small town, and I respect discretion, but is it too much to ask to see SOMETHING in advance, especially if you've asked for one? And yes the guys I HAVE met with no picture seriously lied. Lol

Another issue I have is the hypocrisy so many guys have. They have sex, but want don't want anyone to know they do. Its true I experienced this when I lived in large cities, but it's even worse in small towns. People sleep around, but still Slut shame each other. Honesty about what they really want seems to be sorely lacking. I just recently joined Grindr, and everyone's profile is looking for "relationships."

I have rambled enough for the moment.

[bootmandc]

Great discussion and so glad to read it,. Thought I was the only one stuck in the twilight zone.  

 

PhoenixGeoff your well reasoned analysis is spot on, but I think there is a 3rd aspect - the post Aids influence.  Let's face it - a LOT of guys died, and a LOT of those were fun guys.  So the population of possible tricks is just reduced. Those of us who lived through it are left in relationships, sexless or over the edge horndogs like us here...   As for the young generation, I'm at a total loss to understand them.

 

I've lived/worked in most of the major gayborhoods over the past 30 years, now divide time between NYC/DC/Florida, always been active and not the shy type.  Cruising is so hot and I miss it so.  The gayborhoods are gone.  Bars are few.  Baths are barely hanging on.  Everyone there is online looking for their perfect "10" trick?  Really .... put the fucking phone down and do something!!!  

 

So, the consensus here is there are no cruising sites, and gay life has gone totally suburban.  I think most guys who are still sexy just get online, jack off and to bed.  That's the product of the assimilation of gay culture into mainstream culture, availability of porn on the net, and the post-Aids influence.  It's politically incorrect to say tit, but it's gone STRAIGHT ... to hell. 

 

I find most action at ABS where it's frustrated (straight?) men who aren't satisfied at home or (gay?) men who crave physical contact that you don't get online.  Funny, that'show I got started in the 70's.  Round and round.

Edited October 27, 2015 by bootmandc

[PhoenixGeoff]

PhoenixGeoff your well reasoned analysis is spot on, but I think there is a 3rd aspect - the post Aids influence.  Let's face it - a LOT of guys died, and a LOT of those were fun guys.  So the population of possible tricks is just reduced. Those of us who lived through it are left in relationships, sexless or over the edge horndogs like us here...   As for the young generation, I'm at a total loss to understand them.

 

You know, the interesting thing is, I find there are plenty of guys in their 50s, who would have been coming out in the late '70s to early-to-mid '80s, and who therefore saw the worst of the AIDS crisis up close, who have a pretty straightforwardly piggy attitude towards sex.  Go to places like Palm Springs and you'll find quite a few. 

 

It's possible that they are the guys who came out later in life, thus avoiding the worst of things, and who are also interested in making up for lost time.  Or it's possible that, with effective treatments now, they're simply reverting to the common practices of their youth.  Or maybe they were just the lucky ones.  It really is almost as if you managed to hang on past that magic date in 1995, you made it; I've known guys who were down to single-digit levels of CD4 cells who came back from the brink with the first cocktales.

 

It would be interesting to hear the perspective of guys from that generation on how their sex lives have evolved over the course of their lives from their 20s to today, and how the AIDS crisis helped shape that (or didn't).

[sleazefag]

Y'all said everything l could think to say about the (lack of) scene here. .a bunch of posers talking big but never leaving their house, and think they're the shit even though they WEREN'T ever the drug dealing manager of a gay strip club I'm the French Quarter. So, yeah, Seattle, too....

[gwmxyz]

How are u meant to reply to "wassup" anyhow?   The replies I feel like giving would make it even more of a remote possibility than it already was.

[nastybottom]

^ You say: "My ass is up. It's ready for cock."

[muscmtl]

Visiting in Toronto. Over 150 guys on barebackrt online within a 2 miles radius. Insane, and of course none of these guys are hitting on one another.

[ukbttmbbbh]

Would try BBRT parties - did that the other week was seeded twice. Going to two other parties this month.

[AlwaysOpen]

Interesting to  see this bubble back up from my original post  6 months ago-- and a little timely too perhaps. I am in the Ft Lauderdale area, huge mecca for gay tourists and  for gay men who are escaping their past  relationships, small towns, or family pressures ( or who just are fed up  shoveling snow in the winter) One neighborhood, Wilton Manors, is almost 35 or 40% gay,per the census, and many of the gay bars and clubs, shops and food options , are concentrated along the main strip. In the last year, there has  been a shift, a change in the strip,bars suddenly closing ( owners making off with a lot of cash and  staff left with bad checks??) ownership  changing and  new, out of town money coming in--just in the last 2 weeks there have been a couple of bars that shut suddenly reopen as a new venture. In talking with a local man who had a business on the strip up till June, he mentioned  he had heard  the rumor on the road is that  many of these new clubs are not coming back up as gay, but are aiming for a wider range of people of all genders/interests. I think the rights and freedoms we as gay beings have scratched out, are now coming around and killing the "exclusivity" of a gay business. And killing that edginess and rawness many of the places had--gone are the unmarked  door save for a red light overhead, or the mandatory 3 pieces of leather to get in- where men used to be  open and groping, now pansexuals and leather women are also mingling, and  the sex vibe is not much more than a wimper, if at all . The younger generation  never knew the hide and seek games to finding our tribe in a dark bar- now they are more likely to  invite 5 of their co workers out to the "gay bar"  for drinks and dancing. - clubs that used to have posters of bulging cod pieces and Etienne stylized men are now hanging crystal chandeliers and putting in  tables and seating.Everyone is busy checking  social media to see if they are missing something somewhere else--oblivious to the hot guy,alone, and very available, just 3 feet away.  I can  only hope the ying and yang - the wild of the 70's and the technical  isolation of 2015, balance sooner than later and people begin interacting sooner than later

[HungBtm4Top]

Hate to the bearer of bad news, but God's divine plan for Rapture happened and Jesus ushered all the hot tops up to heaven, leaving the rest of us, eternally...in hell.....

[HungBtm4Top]

I have to admit to getting pretty obnoxious for a while...I would start of chats or emails with this:

 

So, I’d really like to speed up these emails or chats and save us about 3 days so I went ahead and started our conversation:

"Hi” ”Hey” 

“What’s up” “Not much” “You”

“Yeah the Same” “Just Feeling Horny”

“Yeah, me too”   ..NOW begin your conversation here….

[bberik]

People don't have time for sex anymore. They're playing Pokemon GO these days.

[hungryhole82]

Most online gay apps are suck big time.  Almost same guys on every sites and 90% are nothing but game players and drama queens.  They have gazillion requirements and lots of attitude.  It is so laughable when they keep saying how horny they are and can't get laid.  I mean in order to get laid you actually have to meet a guy in person. But that is too much for them.  It is quite sad that 10% of remaining us, who are serious about sex have to put up with that crap.