How do you deal with a hook-up gone wrong?

[Treehugger]

This happened to me last weekend and I would like some feedback cuz I was totally stupid. How would you have handled it? So I went to the bathhouse, Saturday afternoon, planning to stay through the evening. It was fairly busy and early on I got fucked three times, one each in the dark room, on the sling (wearing a blindfold) and on the fuck bench. Only one load but the first fuck was from a really hairy stocky guy and I LOVE that.

     I go back to the bench and someone starts playing with my cummy hole. He's rubbing his flacid cock in my crack and he does that for quite a while. We bottoms know how to be patient and I was. Then he asks me to go to his room. I don't go to rooms, mostly because I like public sex. I want to suck while I am getting fucked and I generally like to be available to whatever top wants me. And its way easier to get away from an encounter you are not enjoying if you are not alone in a room with them.

     Eventually he persuades me to go to his room. I still have not seen him but I think he might be this young Asian guy who has fucked me several times and is really into me. He always gives me a load and he enjoys watching other tops fuck me. He will bone me for a bit step back to let someone else have a go then slip back in when I am free. Fun guy. Wasn't him.

     I finally get a good look at him when we are alone in his room. And he is a very attractive young black man. He is a bit short by beautifully proportioned with great pecs and a six pack. Yummy from top to bottom. His short cropped hair was orange. He was sexy as hell. I was excited. We get comfortable and he proceeds to ask me things: do I do any drugs, do I like kink, do I like BDSM, etc.. No drugs except poppers, not much into kink, have never done BDSM. He asks me if I would like to try a little role play. Sure.

     He wants to do master/slave with me being slave. This just got interesting. I agree to a half hour of slavery, I will do whatever he wants. First thing he does is position me kinda on my side knees up a little so he can bury his face in my ass He spends most of the next 45 minutes with his face in my hole!!! At first it feels good. Who doesn't love a rim job and it is obvious he loves my hole.

     Ten minutes into my slavery I have done nothing except lay there. I am thinking at some point he is going to tie me up, gag me with his underwear, maybe walk me around on a leash ordering me to suck toes. I don't know, anything but just lie there. There is already porn playing on the television but he wants to put some kinky porn on his phone. He asks me not leave when he does it. I am the slave how can I leave?

     A sexy young guy comes on the screen in his underwear and starts rubbing himself. I will just say things got very messy from there. Its the subject that dares not speak its name, at least on this website. I am not freaked out or anything, just not my thing. My eyes wander, master notices and orders me to watch the screen. I start channeling my inner Martha Stewart. All I can think about is whether that stain is going to come out. I come to the conclusion that he is going to have to throw them in the trash. I've got Lysol on my brain after finishing The Days of Anna Madrigal where the whores use it to prevent pregnancy and I don't think Lysol is going to cut it for that bathroom disaster. I move on to bleach or maybe Scrubbing Bubbles.

     Master starts murmuring about me giving him some chocolate. The only chocolate in the room is him. He really does have the loveliest brown skin. I am douched up to my earlobes, not going to happen even if I wanted.

     Time drags on and I am still doing nothing but pulsing my hole for him from time to time. I almost fell asleep twice. BUT...I am committed. I am the slave, I do what I am told, I am going to give him his half hour. I thought he set his alarm on his phone. I was mistaken. Several videos later (only one was of any interest to me) I am sure my 1/2 hour is up. He is still nose deep up my ass and his cock had not hardened in the least.

     After I am positive a half hour has passed I start making noises that I am going to need a break. He ignores me. Master is having a fine time, he loves my hole. I like that okay, I want his load. He did eventually pull me on top so I could suck his dick. Still did not get hard. After about 45 minutes I wanted to be done but I invested so much time in trying to get him off I did not want to leave without victory. He continually promised he was almost there. He squirted some water in me so I could push it back out in his face. Yawn. Would have been fun if it was cum instead.

     I start getting pissy. He tells me to pulse my hole, I say, "No, I am bored". The half hour is over as far as I am concerned I have been emancipated, glory be.  He continues to rim me. I say, "I want to leave." He begs me to stay just a little longer. I really want to make this cute guy cum but its a dumb situation that's become ridiculous. He ends up parked in front of the door with me bent over the bed, his face still in my ass. He does try to play with my cock, sucks it for a bit. I inform him the only way for him to get me hard is to fuck me. Stupidly he says, "Is that what you want?" What does he think I was draped over a fuck bench for? Is anybody else confused by that scenario?  It has been almost an hour! What am I doing??? I don't want to be rude but I think he is being a jerk and I am being stupid for not putting an end to it. As soon as he moves away from the door I am out of there and I don't see him again.

     There must be a moral to this story. Oh and I think he gave me crabs, or I should say crab since I only found one but still...might not have been him since I got fucked by about 9 guys that night. I prefer to blame him since I enjoyed all my other encounters. Okay guys, lets hear it. I can't be the only idiot at the bathhouse.

[skinster]

I'd say no need to analyze. These things happen, you just haven't claimed your excuse right off and kept your parachute on. I can't say it would have been my case just from range of interests, but I've had someone say upfront they were not into me, and similarly I've had quick realizations that I am not into the other guy to spend time playing along. Could be underwhelming, especially if you'd had to put an effort into it to happen in the first place, but result can't be guaranteed. It is never too late to pull the plug if you're not into it. But .. again, you'd need to be aware of such a possibility when that time comes to do it. And don't feel bad, we can all get tongue tied on occasion, especially if your expectations were entirely somewhere else.

[InsatiableBoy]

A while back an Asian guy approached me in the dark room, asked if I wanted a massage back in his room. I said sure, why not, and followed him back. He wasn't particularly talented, and it lasted all of 65 seconds before he shoved his dick in my face, but whatever I'm there to play anyway. I started sucking him for a bit, and then it got weird. The second he got hard he grabs his poppers, takes a heroic whiff, immediately got limp dick syndrome, yet still insisted I keep sucking him. Alright fine. After a little bit of that he says he wants to fuck me, but still can't get it up. I'm not really a size queen, average to smaller dicks do things that huge ones don't sometimes, but this guy was a bit too small for even me. Worse still, he'd get hard, slide in me, take another huge whiff of poppers, instantly get soft, and still try to fuck me with his limp dick. Right at the point I was getting ready to leave his room, he suggested we go out to find a couple guys to add to the fun. We find a couple looking to play, and they swap fuck both of us. Both were champion tops, so not a complete waste, thankfully. They leave, and I'm about to follow, and this guy asks me for my email address. I figure it's harmless, so I oblige with an address I use for hookups.

Big mistake.

I forget to check that email for a few days, and when I do my inbox is flooded with messages by this guy. They start out innocuous enough, but very quickly take a high speed train to crazy town, some get downright abusive. Obviously I don't respond to any of them, and they stop coming in after a while. And I think that's the end of that.

For the next year this guy straight up stalks me around the club every time we happen to be there at the same time. I go maybe once a month, sometimes once every two or three, but this guy seems to be there every other day. I can't initiate a scene in the dark room without him trying to jump in and/or grope me; I can't hang out in one of the gloryhole cubbies without him trying to grab me to initiate something; I can't even be in a room without him standing guard outside, incessantly knocking, even successfully jimmying the locked door open if I didn't acknowledge he was there. I tell him no in every way I know how, and he absolutely won't leave me alone. At one point I was having fun with a guy in the dark room and this guy grabs my head trying to force it into his crotch. So I push him away as hard as I can while on my knees, get in his face, and very loudly tell him "NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!" which instantly killed the mood in the entire area, not something I'm happy about. At that point I'd had enough, and went straight to the front desk to report him, something I had to do every subsequent time he was there, and it still didn't stop him from trying to initiate something with me.

I don't see him anymore, and I like to think he got 86ed from the club entirely. But running into him was the only time (aside from another asshole I only had a single encounter with) I felt genuinely unsafe at a bathhouse. To the staff's credit, every time I brought him to their attention, they instantly tracked him down (which wasn't difficult since he was always hovering near me) and had a word with him. Pretty much every bathhouse I've ever visited has a "no means no" policy on their board of rules. Obviously not everyone abides by those rules, but the few times I've had to get staff involved with a particularly toxic guy they're on it fast as lightning. I don't like bothering the staff more than I have to, but when I've reached out they don't mess around.

[mjapie1]

Tree, thanks for publicly posting this extraordinary tale, I always thought that I was the only one to attract weirdos. Reading reports on here it appears as if everything always goes to plan...

It is obvious that you weren’t enjoying it and he wasn’t “pushing your buttons” so you had every right to want to get out of that situation. I wouldn’t have been able to put up with it for as long as you did.

Slavery, total domination and scat are very acquired tastes. 

I had a similar experience with an online hook up to whom I stupidly gave my home address before meeting him. He turned up at mine 2 hours late after I had given up on him. Once he was in the door we got naked and as I got closer to him I noticed the BO. As he got more excited it got worse, eye watering stuff. Man small is one thing but this was intoxicating. He wanted a kiss but I just couldn’t go there. I offered that he could have a shower but he wasn’t interested, after that I just couldn’t get hard and had to ask him to leave.

On another occasion I invited a guy home after a night in a pub. He was really nice at first and we had a good popperd up bare session. The next morning I woke up, went to make coffee and hit the shower. When I returned to my room he was all dressed to leave, no exchange of numbers confirming my earlier suspicion that he had a BF. After he left I noticed the smell in my room, and discovered that he had only gone and had a dump under my pillow. What a piece of shit, if you will excuse the pun...

J

[Treehugger]

On ‎7‎/‎4‎/‎2018 at 6:44 PM, skinster said:

I'd say no need to analyze. These things happen, you just haven't claimed your excuse right off and kept your parachute on. I can't say it would have been my case just from range of interests, but I've had someone say upfront they were not into me, and similarly I've had quick realizations that I am not into the other guy to spend time playing along. Could be underwhelming, especially if you'd had to put an effort into it to happen in the first place, but result can't be guaranteed. It is never too late to pull the plug if you're not into it. But .. again, you'd need to be aware of such a possibility when that time comes to do it. And don't feel bad, we can all get tongue tied on occasion, especially if your expectations were entirely somewhere else.

I was tongue tied alright. I try to be a good bottom and give guys pleasure but I need a top in order to be a good bottom and whatever this guy was he was no top.

[Treehugger]

On ‎7‎/‎4‎/‎2018 at 6:49 PM, InsatiableBoy said:

A while back an Asian guy approached me in the dark room, asked if I wanted a massage back in his room. I said sure, why not, and followed him back. He wasn't particularly talented, and it lasted all of 65 seconds before he shoved his dick in my face, but whatever I'm there to play anyway. I started sucking him for a bit, and then it got weird. The second he got hard he grabs his poppers, takes a heroic whiff, immediately got limp dick syndrome, yet still insisted I keep sucking him. Alright fine. After a little bit of that he says he wants to fuck me, but still can't get it up. I'm not really a size queen, average to smaller dicks do things that huge ones don't sometimes, but this guy was a bit too small for even me. Worse still, he'd get hard, slide in me, take another huge whiff of poppers, instantly get soft, and still try to fuck me with his limp dick. Right at the point I was getting ready to leave his room, he suggested we go out to find a couple guys to add to the fun. We find a couple looking to play, and they swap fuck both of us. Both were champion tops, so not a complete waste, thankfully. They leave, and I'm about to follow, and this guy asks me for my email address. I figure it's harmless, so I oblige with an address I use for hookups.

Big mistake.

I forget to check that email for a few days, and when I do my inbox is flooded with messages by this guy. They start out innocuous enough, but very quickly take a high speed train to crazy town, some get downright abusive. Obviously I don't respond to any of them, and they stop coming in after a while. And I think that's the end of that.

For the next year this guy straight up stalks me around the club every time we happen to be there at the same time. I go maybe once a month, sometimes once every two or three, but this guy seems to be there every other day. I can't initiate a scene in the dark room without him trying to jump in and/or grope me; I can't hang out in one of the gloryhole cubbies without him trying to grab me to initiate something; I can't even be in a room without him standing guard outside, incessantly knocking, even successfully jimmying the locked door open if I didn't acknowledge he was there. I tell him no in every way I know how, and he absolutely won't leave me alone. At one point I was having fun with a guy in the dark room and this guy grabs my head trying to force it into his crotch. So I push him away as hard as I can while on my knees, get in his face, and very loudly tell him "NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!" which instantly killed the mood in the entire area, not something I'm happy about. At that point I'd had enough, and went straight to the front desk to report him, something I had to do every subsequent time he was there, and it still didn't stop him from trying to initiate something with me.

I don't see him anymore, and I like to think he got 86ed from the club entirely. But running into him was the only time (aside from another asshole I only had a single encounter with) I felt genuinely unsafe at a bathhouse. To the staff's credit, every time I brought him to their attention, they instantly tracked him down (which wasn't difficult since he was always hovering near me) and had a word with him. Pretty much every bathhouse I've ever visited has a "no means no" policy on their board of rules. Obviously not everyone abides by those rules, but the few times I've had to get staff involved with a particularly toxic guy they're on it fast as lightning. I don't like bothering the staff more than I have to, but when I've reached out they don't mess around.

Wow! That is some crazy shit. I have not ever had it quite that bad. Once in a while I will play with some guy and then realize I am not into them at all and make my excuses and then of course they show up where ever I am. If I get in the sling there they are. I start playing the dark room and suddenly I realize I am being stroked by the guy I was trying to avoid, on and on. It ends up being a cat and mouse game when what I really need to do is grow a pair and tell the guy I am no longer interested. Hate to ruin a guys evening or kill the mood (as you know). Ah the perils of the bathhouse. Still love it though.

[Treehugger]

On ‎7‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 3:43 AM, mjapie1 said:

Tree, thanks for publicly posting this extraordinary tale, I always thought that I was the only one to attract weirdos. Reading reports on here it appears as if everything always goes to plan...

It is obvious that you weren’t enjoying it and he wasn’t “pushing your buttons” so you had every right to want to get out of that situation. I wouldn’t have been able to put up with it for as long as you did.

Slavery, total domination and scat are very acquired tastes. 

I had a similar experience with an online hook up to whom I stupidly gave my home address before meeting him. He turned up at mine 2 hours late after I had given up on him. Once he was in the door we got naked and as I got closer to him I noticed the BO. As he got more excited it got worse, eye watering stuff. Man small is one thing but this was intoxicating. He wanted a kiss but I just couldn’t go there. I offered that he could have a shower but he wasn’t interested, after that I just couldn’t get hard and had to ask him to leave.

On another occasion I invited a guy home after a night in a pub. He was really nice at first and we had a good popperd up bare session. The next morning I woke up, went to make coffee and hit the shower. When I returned to my room he was all dressed to leave, no exchange of numbers confirming my earlier suspicion that he had a BF. After he left I noticed the smell in my room, and discovered that he had only gone and had a dump under my pillow. What a piece of shit, if you will excuse the pun...

J

Who does that kind of stuff!!! OMG. Did he think it was funny? What kind of sick bastard thinks that is funny? Not a fun experience but a really good party shocker. It beats the diaper guy I went home with once from a bar. When he got in my truck he informed me he was wearing a diaper. I was so horny I thought, "I can do this." I am willing to try new things. We get to his room and his bathroom is filthy. I am a total sex pig, love ass to mouth, snowballing, felching, anonymous gloryhole barebacking, etc... but I can't stand a skanky bathroom. That is gross. I soldier on but things are not looking good. I try blowing him but as I get close to his crotch I can see the scabs from a serious crab infestation around his cock. Deal breaker. I sit up and as I am trying to think of a gracious way of departing he jumps up in a desperate attempt to save the encounter and pulls bra out of the closet. As he puts it on I tell him I am really tired and need to go home. "Yeah, okay," he says, "me too. There's a game I wanted to watch anyway." He was a bra wearing diaper clad sports fan. Go figure. Unfortunately for him none of those things held any interest for me.

[skinster]

On 7/7/2018 at 6:43 AM, mjapie1 said:

"... very acquired tastes...."

J, I can volunteer an opinion to that extent.

I've done many -sexual- things - out of curiosity mostly - over the years that an average or a high-brow unperverted fag (sans straights and bi's completely) would consider appalling and may be even violently disgusting. Some I liked more than others, some have changed my opinion, some I had to put a major effort into. Some were disappointing and fell flat. But that was my interest at the time of such varied 'acquisition' or experience. When one doesn't have such an inkling, that is something else. And the range of definitions from one side to the other may be not so short.

 

On 7/7/2018 at 6:43 AM, mjapie1 said:

"a dump under my pillow."

That one just defies gravity for me. Talk about mentally unstable. Truly all clinical shapes and sizes are out there.