poll Did you change behaviour on PrEP?

[BB4fking]

Like many gay guys who started their sexual life in the mid-1980s I’ve used condoms for much of my life. I became less consistent in using condoms in the last 7 or 8 years but until I started on PrEP about 3 years ago my starting point with sex was usually to use a rubber unless the mood or the other guy pulled me in the other direction. I didn’t plan to change my behaviour when going on PrEP- I just saw it as protecting me from my erratic use of condoms and the increasing risk of being stealthed in gloryholes etc. I told the doctor who prescribed PrEP as much and I wasn’t trying to deceive him, I was deluding myself.  Once on PrEP I’ve gone 100% bareback - and it wasn’t gradual but virtually overnight. This wasn’t the plan and despite a few STIs I’ve no regrets. I’ve surprised myself so much by the change that I wondered whether the experience of other guys has been.

[Guest]

I could pretty much have written exactly what you did except with another "phase" in there.  After a 3 year LTR - where we never used condoms from date #1 (and neither of us had been tested for a few years before) I knew I was gonna have a really hard time going back to condoms.  Break up was in 2004 (about 10 years before Prep).  Luckily during that time I realized that I actually did like to top as long as it's raw.    So I went through a 6-7 year period pretty much as a bb top since I couldn't bring myself to ask a top to use a condom after knowing it's like night and day for the top.  I was starting to "dabble" more and more as bottom but mostly made guys pull out to cum - which at the time wasn't THAT unusual....it wasn't all that easy to find neg guys to bottom raw, so the tops would make concessions lol.  Ironically the few times I actually got bred before Prep were when I was FLIP FUCKING with other vers barebackers - prob not the "smartest" choice of who to let breed me since they were also taking raw dick (and prob loads) and then me letting them breed me, but I know the risk and rush was kicking in and flip fucking raw at the time was pretty much for porn and fantasy for me - yet I found myself doing it lol.  I can't say I flipped a switch over night and started taking every load the week after Prep started - I was already 100% bb by then, but it did take me a while to trust that it was working and I kept topping WAY more for a long time.  Thanks to this site and a top buddy that got me into some anon play (as bottom)  I totally got into getting bred and just being a cumdump at times and reached the status of 100% vers.  I swing back and forth now from more topping or more bottoming partly based on my mood and partly supply and demand, but NEVER out of "fear" or caring about the other guys' hiv status    

[drscorpio]

I started out barebacking in the pre-condom days (early 80s). I moved to Austin for grad school in 1985, and I totally bought into the pervasive safe-sex message I got there. I was a total condom nazi for about 5 years.

Then a very sexy older man (early 40s to my late 20s) ate me out until I was just a puddle and slipped into me bare for the first time in years. I resisted at first, but he soon had me taking his cock and cum at least once a week. Slowly, I started going bare more and more with hook ups. 

I moved for my first university teaching job in 1992. At first I tried to be good and always use a condom, but more and more guys were not interested in using them. I dated a guy for 3 years, and we never used condoms. After we broke up, I found out that he had been cheating on me bareback all over town. That fueled my decision to just go bare all the time which I did until I met my husband in 2005.

He and I were always bareback. I got tested for the first time in years and surprisingly was still negative. We were monogamous for 6 years. When we opened the relationship, we had a long talk, Even though we were both concerned that we would get pozzed, we could not imagine ever using a rubber since both of us had been always bare before we met. We tried to be cautious about partners, but we both though HIV was inevitable. 

Then PrEP came along, and we both go on it. It does give me peace of mind, but I was already taking loads in backrooms in New Orleans and bathhouses in Dallas when I got on PrEP. 

[barecubtop]

I topped raw for a few years before PrEP, but always asked about status and was more cautious in places like bathhouses or sex parties.  There was only one time when I knowingly fucked a poz undetectable guy bare before PrEP (and freaked out about it after). 

After getting on PrEP, I was still cautious but it's been a gradual relaxation over time.  At first, I still asked people their status and would sometimes turn down a guy that was poz.  Then I started topping just about anyone raw.  It's only recently (after about 3 years on PrEP) that I've sucked and swallowed undetectable loads.  I have not been with anyone that's not undetectable as far as I know (I'm guessing I probably have at Steamworks in Chicago, though). 

Being on PrEP certainly gives me peace of mind, and it's broadened the type of guys I'm into and willing to fuck with (regardless of their status, which is something a little deeper than the HIV thing, but I won't go into that here).

[bareback-flipflop]

I wrote in an other topic, I always fucked raw when my life was in a crisis. This spring, rather summer had my most serious crisis, my boyfriend had broken up with me. Then I lost my control and fucked many times with many guys without condome and collected many loads as I could. During these sessions I was never afraid, but later I had fear from STDs. Honestly, I felt in love with the feeling secured  by bareback sex and unloading me, therefore decided to begin PreP. Only change in my behaviour is continuing raw fuck fearless. 

[Guest Memphian]

It definitely changed my behavior.  I used to try to insist on condoms but wasn't very good at it.  I would also try to seek out guys who I thought were less risky, as imperfect as that strategy is.  

Fast forward a few months on PrEP, and I'm in a sling last week at a sex party taking four anon loads bareback.  I wouldn't have had the nerve to do that before, and even then I would have been scared shitless until my next test.

 

[ShootDownMyThroat]

This site, and reading stories like those above, give me peace of mine that I’m not alone in the world and not crazy—and they get me insanely horny too!

I started having sex just before the AIDS crisis. I discovered right away I had a huge fetish for cum, especially chugging it, but I also got fucked and bred, including one gangbang (it was Crisco party—that’s how old I am!). I wad spectacularly promiscuous, sex almost every day. (Even now in my fifties, my libido is through the roof.)

When safe sex started being a thing, I tried condoms, I really did, but they took all the joy and excitement out of sex for me. I love cum, when I suck cock I’m in it for the load. I’m one of those gross guys who sometimes will lick it up off a bathhouse floor, or rub it in my beard. I suck off guys I find physically repulsive just so I can get another load down my throat. Totally twisted about it. So I kept going, and frankly living in denial.

And then a friend I sucked off many time died. I completely freaked out. Went celibate for over five years, while at the same time I was afraid to get tested. It was terrible. My dead years, as I think of the, when I was in my prime of life. Tragic, honestly. It haunts me, all the loads I didn’t get. Eventually, I began to realize I didn’t have a life. I didn’t even date, because we guys always have sex on the first night, and I wasn’t ready to have that conversation. I didn’t make a decision to start swallowing again. One night I sucked a guy off in Riverside Park, and I just knew I was going to take his load. When it came, it was as exciting and fulfilling as I remembered. And—it didn’t freak me out! In fact, I then continued cruising the park until I got another load. And literally overnight I was back to my old habits, and much happier for it, honestly.

I still didn’t get tested for years, but when I did, it was very shocking to find out I was negative. I chalk this up to the fact that nearly all of my load intake is oral. Which goes to show you. I’ve done the math, I know I’ve swallowed thousands of guys, many of them are poz, no doubt. So when my doctor urges prep—at my age, after all my experience, I say no thanks.

I sometime fuck guys bareback—love doing that—but never get fucked, even with a condom. I wish I could be as uninhibitedly piggy as some of you, get gangbanged again. But this is the compromise I’ve reached for myself. 

[BB4fking]

It looks from the replies so far that a lot of guys have changed behaviour after going on PrEP- barebacking when they weren’t before - not surprising I guess, but interesting.

[Guest Nychkjohn]

With prep and discovery of chastity it’s making me crazy for loads 

[swede]

Is prep just a preparation for becoming a bugchaser? I’ve always fucked raw without prep, but I’ve been somewhat selective with whom I let fuck me. Like I’ve been selecting the ones that are “worth the risk”. Now that I’m on prep I’ve become a no loads refused kind of guy, and I keep finding myself really chasing after the guys who look sick, and especially guys with biohazard tats. I even go after ugly guys as if that was something that would be a sign of them being poz (I know it’s not). I just love being a fucking whore. 

And now, after just a few weeks of this relentless hunting for sick men, I’m already thinking of stopping the prep and continue the chase.

I just want someone to look me in the eyes while fucking me and hear him tell me to take his toxic load... make my cock drip just writing this. 

Anyone else who feels this way? Like the pills is really just making it MORE likely that you will be pozzed in the long run?

Edited December 17, 2018 by swede