Racism and gay community

[travelingbi]

6 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

It takes about four seconds to tell people that you don't reply to people without pictures. But you don't really care if they have a picture or not - as long as they're not black, right?

The idea that you think it's "polite" to put "not into blk, chubby or fem guys" in a profile tells me you really don't grasp the meanings of simple words, like "polite", so I suppose it shouldn't be surprising to see you also don't understand what "racism" means, or that you're showing it.

The only upside to posting something like that is that for people like me, who have a  "not into assholes" preference, it's a nice big red flag waving that says "Stay away".

Here's the thing: Nobody's saying you need to sleep with black guys. You're free, naturally, to have sex with anyone willing, and to avoid having sex with anyone you don't want to. But dismissing entire classes of people on the basis of race is the very essence of racism, and if you're too fucking lazy to type "Thank you, but no thank you" to black men who hit on you, then you're not only racist but lazy and probably a shitty fuck on top of it all. 

Thanks for saying this. I totally agree. When I see that in a post, even though I'm a white guy, I just skip them over. 
I'm a heavy set older guy. I know my "audience" is slimming with every year. (But, thankful that there are a hell of a lot of guys that like my type and keep me happy and satisfied). But, a simple reply of "Thanks for the reply, but I don't think we're a match" is appreciated and I take absolutely no offense by that, at all.  It only takes 2 seconds to reply like that. I appreciate the effort to politely reply.  But when I see on a profile "No Blacks, Chubs, Old, Fems, Trolls, or whatever, tells me he's a rude jerk. So, I just pass them by. What's even worse is when they decide they need to insult me for contacting them. I can't believe some of the hateful, mean and unnecessary insults I've received from some gay/bi men. One of my black fuck buddies has told me he gets hateful replies saying "I don't fuck -_____ (the N word)". Unnecessary rudeness. 

 

Edited November 19, 2020 by travelingbi

[Primalsole]

I know I’m not everyone’s type and vice versa!  And that’s ok cause I don’t wanna be everyone’s type!   Just don’t knock anyone cause of Their race/ age/ body type etc! as for the race fetishized part ( BBC , Dom Blk thug etc). I find that humorous / typical cause that comes with a automatic preconceived idea based off of porn stereotypes and not real life! 
 

Im glad that I never harbored  stereotypes of guys I meet and hookup with or date!   Matter of fact I never even bring  up their race/ weight/age cause it’s simply pointing out the obvious.   If that guy gets me hard and horned up and we share the same sexual likes and interests/ kinks/ fetishes and he has good energy!  And vice versa Then I’m down to fuck!  

 

[Bicycledude]

Weir said. Wish more people had your attitude 😍

[hungry_hole]

Nowadays everyone is being labelled a racist so "being a racist" is losing it's punch. If everyone is racist then the word looses meaning. Is like being called a Nazi. People have difference likes and dislikes and that's OK.

[blackrobe]

46 minutes ago, hungry_hole said:

Nowadays everyone is being labelled a racist so "being a racist" is losing it's punch. If everyone is racist then the word looses meaning. Is like being called a Nazi. People have difference likes and dislikes and that's OK.

I think you've proved your hypothesis wrong based on your choice of comparison. Being called a Nazi has not lost it's punch even today, and even though the majority population of a nation were members of the Nazi Party it was never diluted. There are however, important differences to be called out. 

A person can perform an act that is racist and a person can be a racist. Within that world there is also conscious and unconscious racism (bias). It is possible to exhibit unconscious racism while consciously believing you are not racist. People born in the US have been born and raised into a racist system that is an artifact of it's history, it's politics, and it's culture. The same is true of many colonized countries, starting with the indigenous people, and extending to people kidnapped, sold, and transported as slaves. People living in the US are aware of the systemic racism to wildly varying degrees.

I wasn't born in the US, but I was born into a country with it's own racism. And I've lived here long enough and learned enough history to see and sense the racism here. There is unconscious bias you soak up without even knowing it's happening. 

If you've never been attracted to a person of color, if you've never had sex with a person of color, and those people of color are part of your community, that requires some careful self-examination. I understand the concept of sexual selection, but even it doesn't provide an out or an explanation for why an individual might rule out an entire racial group (or groups) as sexual partners. Clearly it doesn't as we see interracial relationships all around us.

 

[Mightymouse83]

17 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

It takes about four seconds to tell people that you don't reply to people without pictures. But you don't really care if they have a picture or not - as long as they're not black, right?

The idea that you think it's "polite" to put "not into blk, chubby or fem guys" in a profile tells me you really don't grasp the meanings of simple words, like "polite", so I suppose it shouldn't be surprising to see you also don't understand what "racism" means, or that you're showing it.

The only upside to posting something like that is that for people like me, who have a  "not into assholes" preference, it's a nice big red flag waving that says "Stay away".

Here's the thing: Nobody's saying you need to sleep with black guys. You're free, naturally, to have sex with anyone willing, and to avoid having sex with anyone you don't want to. But dismissing entire classes of people on the basis of race is the very essence of racism, and if you're too fucking lazy to type "Thank you, but no thank you" to black men who hit on you, then you're not only racist but lazy and probably a shitty fuck on top of it all. 

Ok lots of assumptions you got going on here but w/e lol. I’m not a shallow guy but I am fairly attractive and I’ve done the whole “thank you but no thank you” before and it’s followed up with “but why” and then blah blah blah. Like stfu and move on already. I DONT HAVE TIME. I DONT CARE TO WASTE MY TIME. And you can try to make me feel shitty and say I’m bad in bed (yip lol) but at the end of the day I’m going by MY experiences and my fucking truths. So go fuck your self bro (since you must be so much better than me at it lol) 

[Mightymouse83]

3 hours ago, blackrobe said:

I think you've proved your hypothesis wrong based on your choice of comparison. Being called a Nazi has not lost it's punch even today, and even though the majority population of a nation were members of the Nazi Party it was never diluted. There are however, important differences to be called out. 

A person can perform an act that is racist and a person can be a racist. Within that world there is also conscious and unconscious racism (bias). It is possible to exhibit unconscious racism while consciously believing you are not racist. People born in the US have been born and raised into a racist system that is an artifact of it's history, it's politics, and it's culture. The same is true of many colonized countries, starting with the indigenous people, and extending to people kidnapped, sold, and transported as slaves. People living in the US are aware of the systemic racism to wildly varying degrees.

I wasn't born in the US, but I was born into a country with it's own racism. And I've lived here long enough and learned enough history to see and sense the racism here. There is unconscious bias you soak up without even knowing it's happening. 

If you've never been attracted to a person of color, if you've never had sex with a person of color, and those people of color are part of your community, that requires some careful self-examination. I understand the concept of sexual selection, but even it doesn't provide an out or an explanation for why an individual might rule out an entire racial group (or groups) as sexual partners. Clearly it doesn't as we see interracial relationships all around us.

 

I see what you’re saying - I hear you. But I don’t want to exterminate an entire race. I don’t want to ignore them or devalue them. I just am not sexually aroused by blk guys-fat guys-fem guys. I really am not sexually aroused by chubby guys (I literally want to puke if a chubby guy sends me nudes and I’m not even exaggerating). I’m not going to apologize or feel bad for how my dick operates. Now if a chubby, fem blk guy hits me up then I might go into cardiac fucking arrest lol 

[BootmanLA]

On 11/19/2020 at 7:47 AM, hungry_hole said:

Nowadays everyone is being labelled a racist so "being a racist" is losing it's punch. If everyone is racist then the word looses meaning. Is like being called a Nazi. People have difference likes and dislikes and that's OK.

Bullshit. Not everyone is being labeled a racist.

Of course it's okay to have types that turn you on, and types that don't.

But if one of those "types" is based solely on a broad ethnographic group like "black guys", then yes, that's racism. That's the very essence of racism, which is to draw distinctions solely on the basis of race.

Perhaps the reasons that more people (not "everyone") are being labeled as racist have something to do with increasing numbers of people being comfortable making racist statements and more people being willing to call them out over it.

[BootmanLA]

On 11/19/2020 at 12:28 PM, Mightymouse83 said:

Ok lots of assumptions you got going on here but w/e lol. I’m not a shallow guy but I am fairly attractive and I’ve done the whole “thank you but no thank you” before and it’s followed up with “but why” and then blah blah blah. Like stfu and move on already. I DONT HAVE TIME. I DONT CARE TO WASTE MY TIME. And you can try to make me feel shitty and say I’m bad in bed (yip lol) but at the end of the day I’m going by MY experiences and my fucking truths. So go fuck your self bro (since you must be so much better than me at it lol) 

OK, Mr. "fairly attractive" (whatever THAT is supposed to mean): I'll offer one more free hint. When someone comes back with "but why", all you're required to do is say "I'm just not interested, but thank you." And if they persist, block them, because at that point, they're being rude.

But being preemptively rude in the first place with your shitty 'no blacks' public statement just shows you're an asshole - which, you might note, seems to be the common theme in the responses here. People are people, whatever the race, and deserve to be treated with at least a minimum of respect until they prove they're not entitled to more. Doing as you do not only disrespects a huge portion of the people who look at your profile, but deprive you of any claim to the high road.

[BlackDude]

2 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

OK, Mr. "fairly attractive" (whatever THAT is supposed to mean): I'll offer one more free hint. When someone comes back with "but why", all you're required to do is say "I'm just not interested, but thank you." And if they persist, block them, because at that point, they're being rude.

But being preemptively rude in the first place with your shitty 'no blacks' public statement just shows you're an asshole - which, you might note, seems to be the common theme in the responses here. People are people, whatever the race, and deserve to be treated with at least a minimum of respect until they prove they're not entitled to more. Doing as you do not only disrespects a huge portion of the people who look at your profile, but deprive you of any claim to the high road.

I think you are correct, but on these current times I believe a lot black people, especially in the gay community, are starting to develop more pride and respect for themselves. They are no longer looking for validation from the so called elite gay, especially sexually. Sure you have still have, and always will have, a few guys who need a white guy to the point they literally beg. But among the people I know, the “if I see a naked black guy I’ll hurl” line doesn’t have the same affect it’s intended to have. Most just simply move on. 
 

And as an aside, I have rarely, if ever, encountered rudeness or racism from a “hot” white guy. With White guys, it’s the mediocre or uncessessful guys who are the most racist. You know, like the 35 year old barista at the coffee shop or the guy who folds sweaters at the GAP part time? As if they are somehow telling themselves being exclusive to white guys will make me hotter, alot more successful  and associating with blacks will only further damage my self esteem.

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, BlackDude said:

I think you are correct, but on these current times I believe a lot black people, especially in the gay community, are starting to develop more pride and respect for themselves. They are no longer looking for validation from the so called elite gay, especially sexually. Sure you have still have, and always will have, a few guys who need a white guy to the point they literally beg. But among the people I know, the “if I see a naked black guy I’ll hurl” line doesn’t have the same affect it’s intended to have. Most just simply move on. 
 

And as an aside, I have rarely, if ever, encountered rudeness or racism from a “hot” white guy. With White guys, it’s the mediocre or uncessessful guys who are the most racist. You know, like the 35 year old barista at the coffee shop or the guy who folds sweaters at the GAP part time? As if they are somehow telling themselves being exclusive to white guys will make me hotter, alot more successful  and associating with blacks will only further damage my self esteem.

For the record, though I don't disagree with anything you wrote: I don't stand up because I think black men need validation from me. I stand up against racism because it's wrong. And it's not that I think a white middle aged guy doing so has any more impact than a black guy doing so, but I think it's important for racist people to know that there are plenty of white people who are as offended by them as anyone else.

[Mightymouse83]

6 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

OK, Mr. "fairly attractive" (whatever THAT is supposed to mean): I'll offer one more free hint. When someone comes back with "but why", all you're required to do is say "I'm just not interested, but thank you." And if they persist, block them, because at that point, they're being rude.

But being preemptively rude in the first place with your shitty 'no blacks' public statement just shows you're an asshole - which, you might note, seems to be the common theme in the responses here. People are people, whatever the race, and deserve to be treated with at least a minimum of respect until they prove they're not entitled to more. Doing as you do not only disrespects a huge portion of the people who look at your profile, but deprive you of any claim to the high

 

“I'm just not interested, but thank you." Lol we’re men. Not the ladies in Oprah’s audience. I feel like guys like you might have a little bit more estrogen going on inside of ya bro like fr fr. When was the last time you had your free testosterone checked? If I feel like responding I don’t say “no thank you” I say “back tf off”  

[BootmanLA]

12 hours ago, Mightymouse83 said:

18 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

“I'm just not interested, but thank you." Lol we’re men. Not the ladies in Oprah’s audience. I feel like guys like you might have a little bit more estrogen going on inside of ya bro like fr fr. When was the last time you had your free testosterone checked? If I feel like responding I don’t say “no thank you” I say “back tf off”  

First off, you need to learn how to quote on here. Putting YOUR words in the section showing that *I* said them is fucking rude, asshole.

Second off, I shouldn't be surprised, because apparently your idea of "masculine" is "maximum asshole". Why you think it's "feminine" (or whatever) to be polite to someone, I can't imagine, but since you prefer people to be rude if they're men, I'll oblige. Go fuck yourself with a farm implement, preferably a spiked and rusty one.

As for masculinity, I think it's precious that you're so bent out of shape about being labeled with the clearly and highly accurate term "racist" as though your little fee-fees are all butthurt but you want to play the big butch man barking at others. Precious little fucking snowflake.

[Guest hungandmean]

On 11/21/2020 at 11:54 AM, BootmanLA said:

First off, you need to learn how to quote on here. Putting YOUR words in the section showing that *I* said them is fucking rude, asshole.

Second off, I shouldn't be surprised, because apparently your idea of "masculine" is "maximum asshole". Why you think it's "feminine" (or whatever) to be polite to someone, I can't imagine, but since you prefer people to be rude if they're men, I'll oblige. Go fuck yourself with a farm implement, preferably a spiked and rusty one.

As for masculinity, I think it's precious that you're so bent out of shape about being labeled with the clearly and highly accurate term "racist" as though your little fee-fees are all butthurt but you want to play the big butch man barking at others. Precious little fucking snowflake.

Listen - there is nothing more masculine in the world than being a rude little shit on Grindr to strangers. Got to let everyone else know how straight acting you are. 

[Leather69]

Unfortunately society has become full of the perpetually offended who take offence and scream racist/ism at the slightest comments/words. The world would become a much better/tolerant society if we were all to ignore them and don't allow ourselves to be "baited".