Seduction vs cheating

[hotguy02]

I was working out at the gym the other day and this masculine top daddy Black guy started chatting with me.   I think he noticed that I was a beta sub bottom boy because he immediately started to tell me that I was cute and asked if I was single.  I said no and that I was loyal to my top daddy breeder and that I don't want to cheat but he has been been very persistent to the point where I feel submissive and seduced by him.  I feel weak around his presence.   Is that normal.    I don't know what to do

[Doccer19677]

I’d suggest you bend over and take his cock. You can then go home and your partner won’t need lube to fuck you. He will find it hot. 

[hotguy02]

2 hours ago, Doccer19677 said:

I’d suggest you bend over and take his cock. You can then go home and your partner won’t need lube to fuck you. He will find it hot. 

I'm afraid he'll get jelous.     Am on the fence about this I'm not on prep as requested by my daddy  so I'm nervous 

[drscorpio]

Why are you talking to us about it? Talk to your daddy.

I am sure he knows other men will want you. Tell him you are being pursued, and ask him what he expects of you. If you haven't done anything yet that he has told you not to do, then he has no reason to be upset with you. If you cannot talk to him honestly about things, there are problems with your relationship. 

I suspect from the way you talked about not being on PrEP that you are worried that he will tell you to put out for this other top. I think you (and @Doccer19677) are probably right to think he might. Lots of dom guys want their bottoms to be cumdumps. If that makes you uncomfortable, then you need to talk to him about that. If he wants you to take risks that you are not comfortable with, there are problems in your relationship. 

[hotguy02]

17 hours ago, drscorpio said:

Why are you talking to us about it? Talk to your daddy.

I am sure he knows other men will want you. Tell him you are being pursued, and ask him what he expects of you. If you haven't done anything yet that he has told you not to do, then he has no reason to be upset with you. If you cannot talk to him honestly about things, there are problems with your relationship. 

I suspect from the way you talked about not being on PrEP that you are worried that he will tell you to put out for this other top. I think you (and @Doccer19677) are probably right to think he might. Lots of dom guys want their bottoms to be cumdumps. If that makes you uncomfortable, then you need to talk to him about that. If he wants you to take risks that you are not comfortable with, there are problems in your relationship. 

 He has been specific about me only being his.   I'm ok with that he specifically said that he doesn't want me on prep   I'm neg and he's poz undetectable   he told me he doesn't want me on any pills. I'm ok with that bc I think he believes that if I was on prep I'd be putting out.   It's his way of keeping me in line for him.  At least that's what I thought.   He said he'd only let me get fucked if he was there and approved it

[BootmanLA]

On 10/14/2020 at 2:54 AM, Doccer19677 said:

I’d suggest you bend over and take his cock. You can then go home and your partner won’t need lube to fuck you. He will find it hot. 

Very non-helpful advice. It's fine if the couple is in an open relationship, but advising someone who's not to cheat is, to put it politely, ethically challenged (and to put it bluntly, a shitty thing to do).

[BootmanLA]

20 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

 He has been specific about me only being his.   I'm ok with that he specifically said that he doesn't want me on prep   I'm neg and he's poz undetectable   he told me he doesn't want me on any pills. I'm ok with that bc I think he believes that if I was on prep I'd be putting out.   It's his way of keeping me in line for him.  At least that's what I thought.   He said he'd only let me get fucked if he was there and approved it

You may want to think long and hard about that.

Right now, supposedly, he's undetectable. You can't be 100% certain that he'd tell you if that changed. I'm not suggesting he's not trustworthy; I'm saying that ANY man might turn out to be not trustworthy, and right now, if you're having unprotected sex with him, it's only safe as long as he stays in that condition.

What if he decides it would be hot to see you become poz, and he stops taking his meds for six months, but keeps breeding you?

What if he develops a resistance to the meds he's on, and doesn't find out about it until months later, when he goes in for a check up and he learns he's now very much detectable?

I do agree that keeping you off PrEP is his way of controlling you. But I don't think that's a particularly healthy way to do it. You're the one bearing 100% of the risk if he decides to become detectable, if he becomes detectable without his awareness, if you slip up and succumb to temptation, or whatever. And he's restricting you from doing the ONE thing that could protect YOUR health. If I were in your shoes, that would be a dealbreaker for me.

[hotguy02]

On 10/17/2020 at 12:13 AM, BootmanLA said:

You may want to think long and hard about that.

Right now, supposedly, he's undetectable. You can't be 100% certain that he'd tell you if that changed. I'm not suggesting he's not trustworthy; I'm saying that ANY man might turn out to be not trustworthy, and right now, if you're having unprotected sex with him, it's only safe as long as he stays in that condition.

What if he decides it would be hot to see you become poz, and he stops taking his meds for six months, but keeps breeding you?

What if he develops a resistance to the meds he's on, and doesn't find out about it until months later, when he goes in for a check up and he learns he's now very much detectable?

I do agree that keeping you off PrEP is his way of controlling you. But I don't think that's a particularly healthy way to do it. You're the one bearing 100% of the risk if he decides to become detectable, if he becomes detectable without his awareness, if you slip up and succumb to temptation, or whatever. And he's restricting you from doing the ONE thing that could protect YOUR health. If I were in your shoes, that would be a dealbreaker for me.

Wow that's awesome advise.     It's a lot to think about.   He fucks a lot of boy's and always raw.  .. if I get on prep will be be able to notice

[LetsPOZBreed]

Reminding me of the comment I posted on another thread (started by you as well), I find this whole set up very one-sided.  I also find it, quite frankly, totally unhealthy - both mentally and physically.  

At a MINIMUM, tell your top daddy about this.  The only way you'll know for sure if he approvest is to flat out lay it out there.  If he says that he's not into sharing you with other breeders, you'll have your answer.  Alternately, if he says that it's fine by him - even if the stipulation is that he watches or is otherwise present while it happens - that's your answer.  Once again, this just seems non-confrontational rather than submission.  

The whole disallowing your use of PrEP is another topic entirely.  End of the day, you need to be responsible for your own health and wellbeing, and that is your decision and only your decision to make.  If you're not "allowed" to look after your own wellbeing, then this isn't submission - it's flat out controlling and abusive.  

[drscorpio]

I am going to echo what @LetsPOZBreed is saying. At this point, we almost everything we have heard from you makes your daddy sound like a controlling asshole who doesn't actually make you happy. You have major concerns about his behavior that you have expressed in multiple threads. Your lack of wider sexual experience leaves you unable to judge whether or not another man might be a better fit, and he intends you to keep from ever finding out. At this point I am almost willing to tell you to hookup with the black top just to find out what it is like, but I am afraid you aren't ready to cope with the potential fallout if your daddy finds out. His unwillingness to let you protect yourself with PrEP is particularly disturbing. 

[BootmanLA]

17 hours ago, hotguy02 said:

Wow that's awesome advise.     It's a lot to think about.   He fucks a lot of boy's and always raw.  .. if I get on prep will be be able to notice

Taking PrEP doesn't change you physically, if that's what you mean. The only way he'll be able to tell is if he finds the medication. And until you're sure he wouldn't throw it out, flush it, or try to replace it with a placebo (which admittedly sounds far-fetched, but then so does refusing to let you protect yourself), you should keep it somewhere he simply does not have access to. If you live together, keep it somewhere else - in your vehicle, at work in a locker or desk drawer, or whatever - until you're sure he's actually OK with it. I wouldn't feel the need to give that advice if you hadn't mentioned how he was opposed to you being on PrEP at all.

The other way he might figure out you're on PrEP is if he is actually detectable/toxic and/or has friends who are detectable/toxic fuck you enough that you should probably convert and yet you manage to stay negative. That might arouse suspicions if he were trying to stealth you into being poz. I'm hoping that's not the case, but your original posting raised enough red flags I think  you should be very, very careful. 

[tallslenderguy]

I've read all the posts and i'm going to bite my tongue while writing this, this is what i am reading:

 Your 'top daddy breeder" is HIV poz, fucks other boys besides you raw, and doesn't want you to have sex with anyone except who he chooses and watches, and he doesn't want you to take PreP.  In the event that he did want to watch you get fucked by another guy, would it be raw?  

i get there are some D/s dynamics where both parties get off on the Dom having this kind of control... but i am not getting that sense from you?  The fact that you are tempted by the guy from the gym makes me think the relationship should be open both ways?  i don't know this, but my read of all your responses leads me to think that this guy is a user? Unless there is stuff that changes this story dramatically, details we do not know?  

i'd ask yourself: are you happy with a relationship where he is protected and you are not, where the relationship is open for him, but not for you? i think if the answer to either of these questions is "no,"  i think you need to renegotiate the terms of your relationship, or find someone who is compatible with your needs and desires.  People who get used in relationships (where the __________ is not mutual), eventually get used up, it's not sustainable.