Shame and Humiliation

[BootmanLA]

2 hours ago, Guygonebad said:

The other item is humiliation; I always enjoyed and felt I needed to be humiliated in front of other men. I did it and let other men humiliate me. It was always hard to do and left me feeling less then the men watching. But through my training I learned it was a pleasurable activity for the Alpha tops. I now do humiliation things as requested by Alpha top men and if they find it pleasurable to command me to do these things, then I’m happy and proud to do it for him.  No shame!!!!

FWIW: if you derive pleasure or satisfaction from being humiliated, it's not my place to say you're doing it wrong. 

But I will note: OF COURSE it's pleasurable for the "Alpha Tops" (some of which, in my view, could be anything but, but I digress). Bullies also derive pleasure from humiliating others, but that doesn't mean bullying is acceptable behavior automatically.

Here's what I'd consider a good test: do the "Alpha Tops" value you, and treat you with respect, outside of such scenes? Or do they treat you as inferior and worthy of being humiliated whenever the mood strikes them?

To me: if the humiliation ends with the scene, and you're treated with respect afterwards for doing a great job pleasing them, then that's a reasonably healthy situation and I have no qualms with it. It wouldn't be my choice - I don't like humiliation and won't submit to it - but that's my rule for me, not some sort of revealed truth from on high. If the humiliation can start at any time, in any setting, just because that's how they treat subs and enjoy it - when you haven't *willingly* entered into a setting where that's on the table - is just bullying and being an asshole.

What worries me is how I've seen bullies over the years treat others who weren't equipped to stand up for themselves, either through lack of self esteem or worse, being developmentally disabled in some fashion and thus easily convinced to do degrading things through positive reinforcement (ie we'll be your friends, just do this thing for us [that treats him like a performing monkey]). Those bullying victims can become convinced that they're happy to be doing things that please these "betters", when in fact the "betters" are just taking advantage of the victims' naivete to mock them, and they have zero respect for their victims or their efforts.

Again, not saying that's the case in all erotic situations that involve humiliation. But it's also not an unknown problem.

[Guygonebad]

4 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

FWIW: if you derive pleasure or satisfaction from being humiliated, it's not my place to say you're doing it wrong. 

But I will note: OF COURSE it's pleasurable for the "Alpha Tops" (some of which, in my view, could be anything but, but I digress). Bullies also derive pleasure from humiliating others, but that doesn't mean bullying is acceptable behavior automatically.

Here's what I'd consider a good test: do the "Alpha Tops" value you, and treat you with respect, outside of such scenes? Or do they treat you as inferior and worthy of being humiliated whenever the mood strikes them?

To me: if the humiliation ends with the scene, and you're treated with respect afterwards for doing a great job pleasing them, then that's a reasonably healthy situation and I have no qualms with it. It wouldn't be my choice - I don't like humiliation and won't submit to it - but that's my rule for me, not some sort of revealed truth from on high. If the humiliation can start at any time, in any setting, just because that's how they treat subs and enjoy it - when you haven't *willingly* entered into a setting where that's on the table - is just bullying and being an asshole.

What worries me is how I've seen bullies over the years treat others who weren't equipped to stand up for themselves, either through lack of self esteem or worse, being developmentally disabled in some fashion and thus easily convinced to do degrading things through positive reinforcement (ie we'll be your friends, just do this thing for us [that treats him like a performing monkey]). Those bullying victims can become convinced that they're happy to be doing things that please these "betters", when in fact the "betters" are just taking advantage of the victims' naivete to mock them, and they have zero respect for their victims or their efforts.

Again, not saying that's the case in all erotic situations that involve humiliation. But it's also not an unknown problem.

Good points...I would say in the years before my true BDSM training  when I did humiliation it was more me trying to please the top, who may or may not have respected me later or it was a one off episode that left me feeling less than, sad, shamed. It was during my training that strengthened me, working with a wonderful DOM training Master that taught to understand the episode and that as I’m willing to be commanded to do it, I’m valuable and respected, no shame! Enjoy it for me and the top. But while I’m a no loads refused CumDump and love it, I only get into total DOM sub play with good Masters who I respect. 

[BreedingTop71]

My two cents as a Dominant Alpha: can there really be humiliation if a faggot follows his life purpose of serving Men like Me? It feels right and proper and none on this site, whatever role they have, can deny how right it feels when an Alpha uses a bottom for pleasure. I could argue that cumdumps enjoy sex more than Us!

Lets be vigilant against falsely victimizing each other.  If we feel our dicks getting hard or our pussies getting wet, and we are consenting adults, there really should be no shame or damage. That’s why there is such a thing as small penis humiliation, we have cuck men who enjoy the humiliation of seeing his partner being used by a real Man. That’s why the word “faggot” has a negative connotation (not to me, though. I am sexually attracted to faggots, so I only release inside them)
 

If a fag (or a Dom) is unable to handle his own sexuality and it spirals out of control in his personal/work life then it is clear there are underlying psychological issues beyond and outside bedroom. 

[IntoBBvisitor]

I felt and still sometimes feel this shame or humiliation feeling. I ve come to accept it and , most of all, to accept it is what I like.

I think most of the shame has come from me knowing that this degradation feeling is what I am looking for. While men get their pleasure using me like a whore, I get mine from serving them and taking it the way they give it to me. I ve felt shame at some point and fought against my condition not because I am used but because I like it.

Acceptance is key.

[CumDumpSLT]

1 hour ago, BreedingTop71 said:

My two cents as a Dominant Alpha: can there really be humiliation if a faggot follows his life purpose of serving Men like Me? It feels right and proper and none on this site, whatever role they have, can deny how right it feels when an Alpha uses a bottom for pleasure. I could argue that cumdumps enjoy sex more than Us!

Lets be vigilant against falsely victimizing each other.  If we feel our dicks getting hard or our pussies getting wet, and we are consenting adults, there really should be no shame or damage. That’s why there is such a thing as small penis humiliation, we have cuck men who enjoy the humiliation of seeing his partner being used by a real Man. That’s why the word “faggot” has a negative connotation (not to me, though. I am sexually attracted to faggots, so I only release inside them)
 

If a fag (or a Dom) is unable to handle his own sexuality and it spirals out of control in his personal/work life then it is clear there are underlying psychological issues beyond and outside bedroom. 

As a cumdump sissy faggot slut I must agree with you. I find it a huge turn on being called that as I’m getting my legs spread and massive cock forced in side me getting fucked taking it raw and seeded. 

[Vickie]

Hi

Someone wanted to know if I was ever ashamed of what I did or what I was about to do with another man. Yes, I have felt shame and humiliation, but for me it is what I crave. I love the idea for me to be the butt (no pun intended) of a remark made in public towards me. I love being the one who opens a stangers pants to retireve his cock while on my knees. I'm always dressed in short shorts and shaved legs. I am an exhibitionist so I put myself out there to be humiliated. I love men talking trash to me, cocksucker, faggot, sissy! All words I like to hear. I recently have been dressing up in long jerseys and girls lacrosse kilts and under it panties. My smooth legs are sure to turn heads as I go to the pharmacy, food stores and the major hardware stores like this. No one has said a word and is a bit of a bummer to me. I wish someone would ask me when in line to pay for my items. Once a group of black students ages 17 to 24 girls and guys singled me out and the girls yelled "maybe the man in those tiny shorts will give you a blow job!" To me it was  a real turn on. If they had come over to me I would have thought about it. But I do play it safe. 

[Guest]

I have been fucked all my life by tops and dominant men. After a fuck I would feel humiliated and ashamed. I also had some times alpha males tell me I should have shame for exposing myself. it use to make me feel humiliated and embarrassed; but now it gives me pleasure, pleasuer to be a bottom to a men, I crave both humiliationg and shaming by my tops and love both the idea and seek the opportunity to be exposed and shamed and humiliated in front of other men. it gives me a erotic pleasure that I cant stop craving.

certainly shame and humiliation for me is part of my being a bottom, for me its normal and expected and i thrive in the idea and love it. when i have a man cock penetrating my ass as he is trying to or actually fucking me, its clear in my mind that im inferior and serving him. I am his submissive bitch, his for him to use me and make him feel more of a man as he uses me and humilates me. 

i can say every day I thrive and think of a mens cock and men dominating me! I love to know and feel his cock inside of me and i love the feel of being humiliated, and shamed by him or any other men who may be watching me or even using me. i want to be with my legs spread open as a man his fucking me and he is verbably humiliating and shaming me, because it makes him feel superior which he is because i have  a cock too but its his cock that is penetrating me and leaving his seed inside my cunt.

i love every thing and every bit of being humiliated and shamed and for me its part of being a gay faggot bitch to men who use me and i crave it more everytime.