Love Berlin. How does you cope with being unfit and ageism in sex clubs.

[RawUK]

On 9/19/2023 at 2:35 PM, Spunkinmyarse said:

Such good advice! As a 50+ bottom recently back from Berlin, I think you’ve got it spot on!

Totally agree. I'm a 50+ chub and I didn't have any issues when I was in Berlin in 2019. Got into Lab and anywhere else I visited without issue and had fun in all the places I went. I was totally up for it that weekend, had and projected the right attitude, put on a winning smile and douched my ass. Must go back again sooner rather than later!

[Badguy56]

I lived in Berlin many years ago in my twenties. Admittedly, however, I was in a relationship with a very jealous and possessive German so I didn’t experience much of the gay scene. However, I found the people in Berlin, both gay and straight, to be some of the most accepting and the least judgmental of all people. I would sometimes go to the sun bathing areas such as the Tiergarten and see all kinds of shapes, sizes and ages. I think that Berliners are perhaps more accepting and less judgmental of say, some of the gay scene in Toronto. Again, I haven’t been to the clubs but I can only speak of my limited interaction with the gay scene in general. Don’t forget that Berlin was once the gay Mecca in the 1920s with over 100 gay bars that catered to every taste and fetish before it all came tumbling down.  I think at heart Berliners still retain that sense of laissez faire. 

[Leather69]

I went to to Scheune on the sunday during folsom... over 70 there that night.. average age 50+, average size (body) generally large.. friendly night.. a couple of very cute boys... but most older and randy.

[VersGuyAnon]

From memory, Berlin venues vary much more than in other cities, in terms of their target market. I might be wrong, but if you find the right place it shouldn't be an issue. 

Edited September 29, 2023 by VersGuyAnon

[TwinkChaserSlut]

On 9/19/2023 at 7:12 AM, EuRawBull said:

This topic is ever so fresh for all of us lucky enough to make it past the age of 50. So, here's my experience and tidbits of advice as a 100% vers, over 50 gay man:

- Wear and act your age. Dressing up like a 20 yo twink will not match your facial features and colour of your hair so while our hearts and inner desires may be stuck at 21, our physical appearance changes with time so wear your age with pride.

- When you get naked, have the confidence of your desires not that of your body appearance. Ageing is natural and so are the changes in body shape and fat distribution. Keeping fit is one way to attract a wider range of men. The more you're trying to hide certain features, the more it has the opposite effect.

- Keeping fit doesn't mean just muscles. It can be a toned body, it can be a nice, straight-up posture, etc. Spend some time every day taking care of yourself: a few situps, a 5 minute dance on your fave Backstreet Boys or the Pet Shop lads will do wonders to your physique at any age.

- Going to a sex- club means you're horny enough to want to have sex. So show it. If you're in Berlin at the Lab, Berghain, the Bull or any other fine establishments, don't just sit in a corner, feeling sorry for yourself, sipping from a glass of rose and yapping with your buddies. Lab is not RuPaul's werk room for throwing shade. Go out there, put your ass up in the air, get yourself in the sling and show everyone you mean business. You are not at the Lab for the fashion show and not there for your company dreaded xmas party. You're there to suck cock, get fucked deep in the ass and stick your cock in a man's ass. 

- While a 25 yo may have little difficulty getting cock (or ass), as a 50+ man, one needs to do a bit more work than just sitting by the bar and looking pretty. You need to be more assertive and initiate contact. There's plenty of young tops turned on by the daddy looks and butts. 

- Don't be put down by a rejection or two. We all have our likes and dislikes. Sure, as I said, you won't get all tops in the room to like you, but there's always more than a few who will gladly shag you.

- Confidence. Be confident and show the world what you want. When I top, I am looking for that ass or hole that insipires me at that moment. It can be a twink, a 35 yo bodybulder, or an experienced sloppy hole of a 65 yo man.  If I'm looking to get fucked, I put my ass up in the air on the fuck bench or in the sling and let the audience know what I'm looking for. And if you have your ass up in the air, you can't really afford to be too picky or choosy. Be grateful for (almost) any cock willing to get inside you. 

- The Lab in Berlin is the grand daddy of the sex clubs. So yes, you will have competition. As a 50+ yo, you will get less action than the 30 yo body builder with the perfect skin and bedroom eyes  being fucked in the sling by 100 men. But getting fucked by 20+ men in the dark room is still a decent outcome.

- A lot of people come to Berline from afar and they all have different customs and habits of initiating contact. And remember that for every German in the room there will be  at least 10 non-Germans. Also not everyone speaks English and that body signals are the best way to communicate. 

- Rudeness is universal. Get over it. You are going to Berlin to a sex club to have sex. You're not there for a deep meaningful spiritual contact. If someone is rude to you (or what you consider rude), move on. Cultural differences are sadly ignored. A grunt from a hunk may be interpreted as rude by a polite, proper Oxford educated gentleman, when in reality the hunk is from Serbia, has a 9 inch hard cock, and has a soft spot for 50+ English bottoms. But he doesn't speak a word of English and in his culture the grunt you just heard is a deeply admirative signal that he wants you. However, a push away, is a push away. And while you may think this is rude, you gotta move on. No point in wasting your time.

- Lower your expectations. I read and hear all the times stories about bottoms get tens and hundreds of loads in their asses in one go. With the very, very, very few exceptions, these are just that: stories and fantasies.  Because tops want to fuck as many holes as they can and once they come, 3/4 of them are done for the day (or night). So no. You will not get 20+ loads at the Lab or any other sex clubs in one go. If you're lucky, you may get on average anywhere between 5 and 10. If you're super hot, you will get fucked. But not easily loaded. 

- Don't waste your time with standoff-ishy people. Ignore them and move on.

- Not being let in to a club. I've been going to Berghain/Lab frequently for the past ten years or so and the only people whom I've witnessed not being let in are when they are heavily drugged, drunk, or not dressed up for the event. And yes, sometimes, you are at the mercy of the doorman who's on a power trip. And that's that. If that happens, move on to the next club. There's more than plenty. 

- Do a bit of research upfront. There are many sites listing sex clubs and their events. Spend a bit of time upfront to know what's going on throughout the year and plan around the time that suits you best. Also, do a bit of research into the type of crowds you expect to find at each establishments and events. Don't go to SNAX if you're a bear whos only sport attire is a pair of worn out Sketchers. You won't get in, and even if you get in, the crowd is mostly 20 to 40 yo. I said mostly, not exclusively. As a 50+ bottom, overweight and not fit, your best bets are the glory holes or darkrooms. Leave your ego at the door and be thankful for any cock you get in. 

- Big events in Berlin, or anywhere else for that matter, do attract bigger crowds and as such everyone has high expectations.  The reality will be different for everyone. And to stay focused on the theme of the OP, if you are a bottom over 50, no matter your shape, consider some extra time in grooming yourself. I am always amazed of how many bottoms come to a sex club with a dirty hole, drunk and drugged to extreme, untrimmed hair (for those fortunate enough to still have it on their head), and generally unwashed. Don't mistake man smells for unwashed. (Although there is a market for those into dirty stuff as well).

- Everyone's experience is different from others and different on separate occasions. One time you may have the shittiest of all times, and next day it will be the pinnacle of your sex life. You just never know.

- World gay scene is constantly evolving. Berlin is still holding the crown when it comes to crazy sex, but do consider places such as Barcelona, Madrid, Paris or Maspalomas.  Sure, they attract smaller crowds but that's constantly changing. In my lifetime I've seen Amsterdam sliding from the most desirable place to a nice, decent, good place to have sex. I've seen London going down the same way: With only two or three small-ish venues London has lost its appeal it once had in the late nineties and noughties. Now, although Berlin is still top, Barcelona and Madrid are rising fast as the place to be for uninhibited sex.

- And the last piece of my wisdom:-) Go easy, Go very easy on the drugs. Smoking a joint and sniffing on the poppers is probably enough. Any more than that, your sex vibe will be lost and there aren't too many tops turned on by a drunk and drugged 50+ unfit hole. 

Happy fucks people!

 

Any pics?

[Powerasianbtms]

Any latest update on lab.ortaory ? planning to come Berlin...do not know where to start...anyone can advise, whats best for 2 asian btms, non dramas, non attitudes, open to all experiences.

Edited December 23, 2023 by Powerasianbtms

[LiberatedSLUT]

"Lower your expectations. I read and hear all the times stories about bottoms get tens and hundreds of loads in their asses in one go. With the very, very, very few exceptions, these are just that: stories and fantasies.  Because tops want to fuck as many holes as they can and once they come, 3/4 of them are done for the day (or night). So no. You will not get 20+ loads at the Lab or any other sex clubs in one go. If you're lucky, you may get on average anywhere between 5 and 10. If you're super hot, you will get fucked. But not easily loaded."

 

This 100%. As a relatively fit under 40 yo, I read these message of bottoms saying they get a ton of loads, and I always wonder how?! I love to bottom, and might get 15 or 20 cocks and I'm lucky to get 1 or 2 loads. Getting the loads I'd a matter of being in the right place with the right top at the right time. One guy was fucking me for a long time just a few night ago and told me he was trying to load me up. Finally he faked it, got dressed and left. I got no load from him. Sometimes tops cannot climax.

When I top, I often pull out before I cum because I want to keep going for hours. Many tops do this.

Staying til closing time can be helpful get the seed too.

 

[LiberatedSLUT]

On 4/20/2023 at 4:16 PM, Leather-lee said:

Interesting.

I've just returned from BLF an had an ok time - Darklands was MUCH better. The reason echoes some of the points you raised.

• At Snax on the Saturday night, aside for the usual disorganisation and chaos getting in, the door staff were just outright rude, turning people away with the vague excuse their 'outfits' weren't fetish, which I would agree with, but upon entry you see that half the guys in there are in basic underwear with a harness at a push and probably have no real interest in fetish and are just there for the fun/action. I won't be returning to Snax, a standard night at Lab outside of the major events is much better. Not only that, but in my recent visits to Snax, I've noticed the crowd is becoming younger and younger, which isn't to my taste.
• Berlin is too hung up on image and I'm noticing this more and more. I know some guys from Cologne who no longer visit Berlin for this reason. When we first discussed this some time ago, I didn't really take much notice to what they were saying - how that's changed!
• Berlin is more relaxed (door staff included) outside of the major events. Just something to consider.

I keep seeing things on here about Snax, and when I was in the line at Lab, I heard somebody talking about Snax. On Lab's website, I can't find any information.

Can you help? What is Snax? Is it inside the lab, like a seperate thing? 

[LiberatedSLUT]

On 4/20/2023 at 4:16 PM, Leather-lee said:

Interesting.

I've just returned from BLF an had an ok time - Darklands was MUCH better. The reason echoes some of the points you raised.

• At Snax on the Saturday night, aside for the usual disorganisation and chaos getting in, the door staff were just outright rude, turning people away with the vague excuse their 'outfits' weren't fetish, which I would agree with, but upon entry you see that half the guys in there are in basic underwear with a harness at a push and probably have no real interest in fetish and are just there for the fun/action. I won't be returning to Snax, a standard night at Lab outside of the major events is much better. Not only that, but in my recent visits to Snax, I've noticed the crowd is becoming younger and younger, which isn't to my taste.
• Berlin is too hung up on image and I'm noticing this more and more. I know some guys from Cologne who no longer visit Berlin for this reason. When we first discussed this some time ago, I didn't really take much notice to what they were saying - how that's changed!
• Berlin is more relaxed (door staff included) outside of the major events. Just something to consider.

I keep seeing things on here about Snax, and when I was in the line at Lab, I heard somebody talking about Snax. On Lab's website, I can't find any information.

Can you help? What is Snax? Is it inside the lab, like a searate thing? 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, LiberatedSLUT said:

I keep seeing things on here about Snax, and when I was in the line at Lab, I heard somebody talking about Snax. On Lab's website, I can't find any information.

Can you help? What is Snax? Is it inside the lab, like a searate thing? 

[think before following links] https://berlin.gaycities.com/bars/303881-snax-club-at-berghain#:~:text=Consummate fetish sex and dance,%2C Berghain [see entry].

[chiilfuck]

Hello,

First of all, I must say EuRawBull’s response is very much on point.

I have not witnessed anyone being turned away based upon age or size, or at least not at the venues I have patronized.   However, do be warned that the guys in Berlin take fetish themes seriously; and if one is not properly attired, he will be turned away.  (Leather means more than just a leather jacket).

Regarding ageism in the clubs, sure it occurs as it does anyplace else, hence the importance of going to venues  that attract all types, or to those that will have crowds to one’s liking. 

That said, having first been to Berlin during 2010, I too have been noticing a gradual change in the attendees  at some places.  And maybe ageism is more noticeable to some guys in these situations.  
 

When I first started visiting, most venues were dominated by guys who seemed to be locals, or slutty 😊 visitors who appreciated  the Berlin way of cruising, which I would describe as non-discriminate fucking, often in fetish gear.  (For example, a horny top  will often sample several  asses bent over in a club, with no pre-fuck dialogue, no need to check for “type,”  no need to look for the “perfect guy” and etc.)  As time has progressed, those types of guys are still around, but the percentages are lower in some places, as more (often younger) people from other locales are there, bringing their more reserved ways to the scene…..hanging out in groups, only having fun with certain types/ages, not being as straightforward in cruising,  or going to venues as if they are tourist sites to “check it out,” not to participate in the action.  So if at a location where the new crowd is outnumbering the “old school” crowd, EuRawBull’s suggestions are even more poignant……put it out there and the similarly minded guys will gravitate towards you!!  Believe me!!!

chiilfuck

[JamesL100]

1 hour ago, chiilfuck said:

put it out there and the similarly minded guys will gravitate towards you!!

Yes I found that birds of a feather .. fuck together LOL

[gaypigbb]

On 9/19/2023 at 1:12 PM, EuRawBull said:

- Don't waste your time with standoff-ishy people. Ignore them and move on.

 

On 9/19/2023 at 1:12 PM, EuRawBull said:

Don't be put down by a rejection or two. We all have our likes and dislikes. Sure, as I said, you won't get all tops in the room to like you, but there's always more than a few who will gladly shag

This is so important and so difficult! Often the hottest muscular hunks come in groups, you know,  at least the porn fantasy rock hard, sweaty muscle guys with a serious face and sharp beard. (My favourite type at least, if course it happens in all categories ..) And it's easy to instantly start imagining a rough gangbang with them. 

But as many have said, they're often just peacocking and showing off, fucking only with their own small gang (if at all).

And too often, in my experience, these are the guys who are most heavily on drugs. So IF they interact with you for a moment, don't expect them to remember your face from one minute to the next. Also, when on drugs, their politeness might be gone, so their rejection seems harsher and more rude than from the rest of the crowd. 

It's easy to get stuck in this weird headspace, only thinking about those hunks rejecting you, forgetting the other 30 cocks that were inside you that night.

Feels strange knowing it's all facade, drugs and probably a good portion insecurities, but still also instinctively envying them their bodies and seemingly hot community. Hits me hard every time it happens. And takes some conscious reshaping of my thoughts to get over.

But hang in there, take good notice of all the attention you get, even from guys outside your "type", it's all humans behind those looks anyway, you may be surprised! It's the horny mind if the guys that is important fir the sex, much more that the looks. 

So in my experience, the mind of a pig is much more worth than the muscles of a queen. 

Edited August 3 by gaypigbb
Typos

[hntnhole]

5 hours ago, gaypigbb said:

So in my experience, the mind of a pig is much more worth than the muscles of a queen.

Perfectly said .... thanks !!!

[ellentonboy]

Everyone is going to age.  The joke is on the 20 somethings, and 30 somethings who think they will not age and be hot and gorgeous forever.  BREAKING NEWS:  You will be 40 before you know it, and 50 even sooner.

You just wait guys, just wait....