Unwanted participation during sex

[BritishCumdump]

Got to a sauna for the first time since the pandemic at the weekend and it was ace. Only got around 3 loads in me but got a lot of cock. There was a moment though where I nearly lost my temper with someone, I was riding the most beautiful guy's dick and trying to get him close while a crowd watched, when an elderly guy comes over and starts awkwardly trying to suck my limp dick despite it REALLY not being the angle for it. I gently pushed him away as I don't like getting sucked but he was having none of it and kept coming back and trying again so I pushed him away again saying "I don't like that" and cupped my cock to stop him, then he tries sucking my nipples and I had to stop myself from snapping at him, my attention was supposed to be on getting a good groove to milk the dick inside me and I just totally lost the vibe. 

What do you do in these situations? Should you just stop riding, break the mood and tell them to fuck off or is it just an accepted downside to letting a crowd be involved? Should I wear a cock cage or something next time just to make the message clear? 

[120DaysofSodom]

3 minutes ago, BritishCumdump said:

Got to a sauna for the first time since the pandemic at the weekend and it was ace. Only got around 3 loads in me but got a lot of cock. There was a moment though where I nearly lost my temper with someone, I was riding the most beautiful guy's dick and trying to get him close while a crowd watched, when an elderly guy comes over and starts awkwardly trying to suck my limp dick despite it REALLY not being the angle for it. I gently pushed him away as I don't like getting sucked but he was having none of it and kept coming back and trying again so I pushed him away again saying "I don't like that" and cupped my cock to stop him, then he tries sucking my nipples and I had to stop myself from snapping at him, my attention was supposed to be on getting a good groove to milk the dick inside me and I just totally lost the vibe. 

What do you do in these situations? Should you just stop riding, break the mood and tell them to fuck off or is it just an accepted downside to letting a crowd be involved? Should I wear a cock cage or something next time just to make the message clear? 

Report him to the staff on duty. If you told him no, then he should have listened. Some people think everybody is fair game at a bathhouse. There are times me and some other guy will just wanna fuck around a bit by ourselves and we get followed around the place by stalkers. Consent is still required at these places regardless of them being established for the purpose of hooking up anonymously. One thing to come up to you and suck your dick at the spa, but when he did that you told him to stop, he should have respected your wishes. Disregarding that is tantamount to sexual battery. Reporting him to the staff will get him booted and blacklisted.

[BlackDude]

If you would let it go for a guy who was 20 and hot, I would let it go for this guy too. Unless your real problem was with the guys age. 

Guys will always be “grabby” at a bathhouse. You can’t prevent it. After two polite no’s, usually a solid shove, guys will get the message. 

[viking8x6]

No means no, even in a bathhouse. That said, in such an environment you may have to be explicit about where the boundary is. In this case you were in a "I was riding the most beautiful guy's dick and trying to get him close while a crowd watched..." headspace - trying to get him close implies you don't want other participants, period. So maybe a firm statement like "Watching only right now!" would be more effective. Just because you're bottoming for someone doesn't mean you can't be definite or even a bit aggressive toward bystanders who queer the pitch (pun intended).

 

[Bibttmmiami]

On 3/7/2022 at 8:09 PM, 120DaysofSodom said:

Report him to the staff on duty. If you told him no, then he should have listened. Some people think everybody is fair game at a bathhouse. There are times me and some other guy will just wanna fuck around a bit by ourselves and we get followed around the place by stalkers. Consent is still required at these places regardless of them being established for the purpose of hooking up anonymously. One thing to come up to you and suck your dick at the spa, but when he did that you told him to stop, he should have respected your wishes. Disregarding that is tantamount to sexual battery. Reporting him to the staff will get him booted and blacklisted.

120daysofsodom is 100% right. Doesn’t matter if you’d let another guy do it or not. No is no. It’s for the good of everyone to report that. Why? Because what if he does it to someone else and they take it to the cops as rape/sexual assault. Then you stand the chance of your bathhouse or club being shut down or sued. Might just be annoying to you, but might be a lot more to someone else. 

[DarkroomTaker]

No still means no, its not about age or being beautiful. No is No.

I had a bloke who followed me around and everytime I got with someone he intervened and moreorless got rid of the person.

Despite polite requests from me, he continued to harass me.

Final straw was when he grabbed me again and scratched my inner thigh and groin to the extent of blood that I snapped, this bloke used to sharpen his nails into pointed nails.

I reported him to the management, showed my ripped skin, he was asked to leave and signs were put up that No means No.

[alwaysready]

if you are in a dark room or semi dark room (in st. louis it was lighted by a red light!) then you are in public territory, and guys are going to watch you. that does not mean you can joing, unless one or both indicates you can. i always got a room, so if i met someone i could take 'em back to the room and close the door.

[BBArchangel]

26 minutes ago, alwaysready said:

if you are in a dark room or semi dark room (in st. louis it was lighted by a red light!) then you are in public territory, and guys are going to watch you. that does not mean you can joing, unless one or both indicates you can. i always got a room, so if i met someone i could take 'em back to the room and close the door.

Ah, if you mean the Club St. Louis, I love the place. The sling rooms (or at least one of them) is very cave-like and darkly lit in red. I’ve never really had a problem there except for one guy who kept trying to twist and pull on my collar. That actually risks physical harm to my neck. I told him several times, “Don’t touch my collar.”He didn’t listen. Another playmate of mine alerted management before an altercation occurred, and management showed him the way out. 

The management at the time knew me pretty well because my partner and I fly for Angel Flight. (We’re private pilots.) Sometimes we needed a place to kill time for a few hours or an afternoon while our patient passengers  received  medical treatment. The Club let us stay gratis, and it’s a nice place, so I can’t say enough about them.

[Guest]

On 3/8/2022 at 1:02 AM, BritishCumdump said:

Got to a sauna for the first time since the pandemic at the weekend and it was ace. Only got around 3 loads in me but got a lot of cock. There was a moment though where I nearly lost my temper with someone, I was riding the most beautiful guy's dick and trying to get him close while a crowd watched, when an elderly guy comes over and starts awkwardly trying to suck my limp dick despite it REALLY not being the angle for it. I gently pushed him away as I don't like getting sucked but he was having none of it and kept coming back and trying again so I pushed him away again saying "I don't like that" and cupped my cock to stop him, then he tries sucking my nipples and I had to stop myself from snapping at him, my attention was supposed to be on getting a good groove to milk the dick inside me and I just totally lost the vibe. 

What do you do in these situations? Should you just stop riding, break the mood and tell them to fuck off or is it just an accepted downside to letting a crowd be involved? Should I wear a cock cage or something next time just to make the message clear? 

The way I deal with these situations - and there have been unfortunately a lot over the years, is that, like you, I start with a gentle push away. If the guy is still insisting, I increase the force of push together with a "not interested now". If he still chomps on my dick while I am being fucked, then I try to shove him away a bit harder. At that moment, I also ask the guy fucking me to push him away, or someone else from the audience. Since these awkward moments usually occur when I get fucked in a sling, or on a fuck-bench where people can gather and watch, almost every time when I ask for help from someone in the crowd, they will take care of the intruder and whisk him away so I can get on with my business and other can enjoy the show. 

At any rate, just like anywhere else in life, trolls will be trolls. When we put out a show when we fuck, we gotta accept these risks. 

Of course, if this is a repeat situation, as others mentioned, report him to the staff and let them deal with him. Don't force yourself to wear a cage or something similar if you are uncomfortable. What if at some point in time you would like another (hot stud) to touch you? (unless of course, you have a dick that´s 8" when limp - which is a very inviting thing by itself 🙂 )

[hntnhole]

On 3/7/2022 at 8:02 PM, BritishCumdump said:

What do you do in these situations?

I usually avoid eye contact the first time and say something like "not now, maybe a little later ..."  If that doesn't work right away, stare the offender in the eye and say something like "get the fuck away from me, I'm busy now", in your most commanding voice.  Say it loudly, firmly, and keep eye-contact until the offender breaks eye-contact.  That's always worked for me.

[ErosWired]

I have usually found that in public situations like that, where there are either people watching or people close by, that raising your voice so that it can be plainly heard by anyone usually makes the offender back off because he realizes that other eyes are on him now, and are looking at him as a potential problem. This does, however, require you to be willing to draw attention to yourself and the fact that you’re having a negative encounter.

I was once at camp, in a shed set aside for play, with my hands bound over my head to a ring in the ceiling, and this guy comes in carrying a beer. He starts playing with my nipples, then pinching them. I don’t like nipple pain at all - it totally shuts me down - so I said quietly, “Not the nipples, please.” He paused for a moment, then started pinching and twisting them hard. I immediately used the voice I used as a public authority, cranked it up a couple of decibels, and said, “STAND DOWN, SIR. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SCENE, YOU DO NOT TOUCH ME.” I said it loud enough that anyone outside the structure would have heard it. The guy jumped, spilled a little of his beer, and hurried out.

Something similar happened once in the crowded back room of a bar in Louisville and a guy kept trying to jack me off from behind. I first pushed his hand away, then seized it firmly by the wrist and pulled it off me, and quietly but clearly said, “No.” When he came at me a third time, I raised my voice so the whole room could hear and said, “I SAID, NO.” You could have heard a pin drop. Every head in the place turned my direction. The guy booked out of there.

Admittedly, this approach might be easier for someone like me because I’m Autistic and it doesn’t occur to me to be embarrassed about making a public spectacle, but it is effective.

And while I appreciate posters above who say that you shouldn’t have to be made to cover up if you don’t want to to avoid nuisances annoying you, from a practical perspective an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I often wear a solid steel cock cage at the bathhouse simply because since I have an ampallang piercing, they will. not. leave. my. damn. cock. alone. Having it on saves me having to swat at all the grab-flies.

[evilqueerpig]

I have a big mouth so I would've said "Get the fuck away from me!" loudly and in no uncertain terms.

[phukhole]

"I already told you no once. I won't do it again."  said loud and clear, usually works for me. My voice can take on a menacing quality when I'm irritated, so that usually clues them into the fact that another incident will escalate rapidly.  I don't like to be that guy, but I also don't allow someone to overstep - especially when it's a consent issue.

[Aidsbait]

I literally let any male do anything they want to my body. that means any age, any looks, shove anything up my ass, piss wherever they want, spit in my face, use my throat or ass for a urinal, strangle me, drug memoir just destroy my sluthole.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I immediately used the voice I used as a public authority

That's the key - allowing them to know in no uncertain terms that their attentions are inappropriate.  Usually, those are the insecure guys, and they'll run when they recognize authority.