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Am I doomed?


chaserslut

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I've always been a bottom, I enjoy getting fucked and leaving. I rarely ever indulged in it though but these last couple weeks have been eye opening.

I met this local bi guy and no condoms were discussed and he pumped me full of cum. Walking back to my car with a wet cummy hole leaking into my boxers felt so amazing and wrong.

I never bb but this was new and I met him again not long after and let him fill my ass again. Still amazing.

My sexual appetite increased and a couple days later I met another guy but he rubbered up. There was just something missing, he was good and he had a nice cock but somehow just felt off. 

This was only a few days ago and I've taken three more bare cocks since then, once in a random car park, and I'm sat here now with cum in my hole and still horny.

I feel like I'm losing control, am I doomed?

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It’s hard to answer your question without knowing what you mean by ‘doomed’. If you mean ‘never able to enjoy sex again without a bare cock up your ass, don’t be ridiculous - that’s entirely for you to decide. If you mean ‘inevitably going to catch an STD, the likelihood will depend on how what precautions you take and how often you get fucked bare. Again, something you can control. If you mean ‘Am I going to die’, yes, you’re going to die. We all are. But it’s unlikely that bareback fucking is going to be what kills you.

More likely, your post is simply looking for someone else to sanction what you’re doing but feel a little like you shouldn’t be, and have every intention of continuing anyway.

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18 hours ago, ReluctantSlut said:

I've always been a bottom, I enjoy getting fucked and leaving. I rarely ever indulged in it though but these last couple weeks have been eye opening.

I met this local bi guy and no condoms were discussed and he pumped me full of cum. Walking back to my car with a wet cummy hole leaking into my boxers felt so amazing and wrong.

I never bb but this was new and I met him again not long after and let him fill my ass again. Still amazing.

My sexual appetite increased and a couple days later I met another guy but he rubbered up. There was just something missing, he was good and he had a nice cock but somehow just felt off. 

This was only a few days ago and I've taken three more bare cocks since then, once in a random car park, and I'm sat here now with cum in my hole and still horny.

I feel like I'm losing control, am I doomed?

 

Probably many of us here would say you haven't had complete sex when you used condoms.  To me, sex with a condom is foreplay at best. From my perspective, restricting sex with condoms is 'doomed." 

You say: "i never bb...."  To my way of thinking, this is the first time you've had sex (i.e., when you barebacked).  

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23 hours ago, ReluctantSlut said:

I've always been a bottom, I enjoy getting fucked and leaving. I rarely ever indulged in it though but these last couple weeks have been eye opening.

I met this local bi guy and no condoms were discussed and he pumped me full of cum. Walking back to my car with a wet cummy hole leaking into my boxers felt so amazing and wrong.

I never bb but this was new and I met him again not long after and let him fill my ass again. Still amazing.

My sexual appetite increased and a couple days later I met another guy but he rubbered up. There was just something missing, he was good and he had a nice cock but somehow just felt off. 

This was only a few days ago and I've taken three more bare cocks since then, once in a random car park, and I'm sat here now with cum in my hole and still horny.

I feel like I'm losing control, am I doomed?

 

I have no idea why you think you're "doomed" for doing something that every man on this site practices - bareback sex.

JFC it's right in the name of the site.

As @ErosWired noted, you don't need other people's approval to have bareback sex. What you should do - and unfortunately, this is a step far too many people omit - is to take control of your sexual health. Get on PrEP. Take it consistently (sounds like you have random sex at times, which doesn't lend itself to the "on demand" method).

And at the same time, take responsibility for your choices of places to have sex. Sure, it's hot to do it regularly in public locations, but oddly, plenty of people take a dim view of public sex (gay or straight, protected or not), and I suspect you don't want to end up spending time in prison for public lewdness. Your profile doesn't say how old you are, but if you're old enough to have a place of your own to live, that's what it's for. 

If anyone disapproves, they can go fuck themselves. You certainly don't have to.

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I appreciate the input guys. Doomed was probably a poor choice of words I was just being dramatic, but it does feel like a shift in my sexuality towards something that's going to take some adjustment on my part.

I have an appointment with the NHS on December 21st to discuss PrEP so we'll see how it goes. In the meantime though I'm probably going to continue bb if the opportunities arise.

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I would interpret your post as more "coming of age" than anything else.  You've become aware of who you are and what you need to be fulfilled (no pun intended).  I call that progress on your journey through life.  

Obviously (or it should be) you need to take all the available precautions against serious illness; every single one of them.  Sure, there are bugs that we pick up now and then, we get tested regularly, get them treated, and proceed with our lives.  You are certainly not "doomed" by anything outside yourself, only your own self-perception of your definition of that word.

The fact that you're posting the issue to many other men that have walked the same path tells me you know better than to suggest "doom".   You are in control of your life - no one else is.  So, as others have suggested above, embrace the realization that bagged Cock just doesn't do it for you.  Embrace your sexual needs, and practice them as often as you want to.  However:  before you do, take every precaution there is to take.  Protect your health, so you can plumb the deepest needs of your sexual needs with the firm knowledge that you have done everything you can, there is no such thing as "doom" in your life, because you choose not to allow it.  

It sounds like you're battling cultural conditioning as much as anything else.  Please know:  NO one gets to judge you, or your sexual path, or dish out any "doom" bullshit.  I'd ask you to 1) get all the precautionary steps you possibly can to protect your health.  2) When those steps are taken and effectivity has been reached, 3) go out and take as many raw Cocks as you want, as often as you want, and revel in your self-anointed Freedom to be the man you were born to be.  And be sure to love yourself for the accomplishment.  

Good luck !!

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3 minutes ago, ReluctantSlut said:

I appreciate the input guys. Doomed was probably a poor choice of words I was just being dramatic, but it does feel like a shift in my sexuality towards something that's going to take some adjustment on my part.

I have an appointment with the NHS on December 21st to discuss PrEP so we'll see how it goes. In the meantime though I'm probably going to continue bb if the opportunities arise

You beat me to it by about 3 minutes ...... KUDOS, (formerly)ReluctantSlut !!!  Please keep us apprised .....

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2 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

You beat me to it by about 3 minutes ...... KUDOS, (formerly)ReluctantSlut !!!  Please keep us apprised .....

I was just reading your reply there. Thank you for the advice (and others too).

I don't think I can like posts or anything yet and I'm limited in replies but I thank you all.

I certainly will document my journey where possible!

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There are explanations of the "like, dislike etc" doo-dads on the home page, but essentially, the more you post, the more responses you can offer other's input.  It's that little heart doo-dad in the bottom right corner.  I'm still not sure what all those medals are for, but stick with it - and pretty soon you'll be able to comment and use the like/dislike/thanks/up/down/laugh/ doo-dads.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

I tried so hard to find a think of another way of saying this, but I couldn't find one. Yes, you are doomed.


Obviously not literally - the choices and the decisions you make are still all yours and as free as they ever were. You might - in theory - give up bb or even sex altogether. You could become a monk, marry a woman, or get a job on the international space station.
But you won't.  You don't want to be in control; you want to be fucked.  It might be ridiculous to say you will never have a covered cock in you again (life throws up some odd surprises) but never again is it going to be what you go for if you have the choice.
You are doomed" because it is your own desires which doom you.   You will find that these only increase - and what once seemed to  make them such a problem will seem less and less in the way.  You get better at dealing with them (or preventing them altogether) and much, much less controlled by your fears.
It's great. Even the realisation that you are so controlled is a turn-on.
Doomed is a great choice of word - if anything you probably underestimate how strong your desires are and how unlikely the chaste conventional options really are. You will be fine with the adjustments too - because what you are adjusting to is being yourself.  


Or at least, that's how it was for me.
If anyone had told me when I was your age that anyone might drive 45 minutes to Inverurie in the middle of the night when there was snow on the ground to get fucked bb in a park I would thought it was obvious fantasy.  Even if they wanted it, they were never going to get it in that part of the world - at any time of day or night.  If they had gone on and said it was me who would do this, I would  have laughed "known" what they were up to - only that they had they had spoiled it by overdoing it.  That wasn't something I wanted, I wouldn't know how to arrange it if I could nor I would never be bothered to drive 45 minutes each way for a ten minute fuck (on the off chance he was for real and not a flake).  Like I say, life throws up some odd surprises.

 

ps great question - very hot - whether or not the answers are telling you something you already know

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Only every had one guy do with a condom, and it felt wrong. I get a bare in me and I'm just a slut craving for more bare cock, and having cum inside me, just gets me even more horny.

So I think since you took you first bare cock and a load, you have come to realize that it feels so much more better than a rubber covered cock.

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Okay so... much of what I wanted to say has been covered. There are some super insightful people here.

I'm going to approach this my way though.

Are you Doomed? in a word, yes.

You are playing with fire and to quote Madonna "Once you put your hand in the flame, it can never be the same."

 You've been aware of the rules. You were conditioned to understand that "The only purpose for sex is  the biological procreation of heterosexual couples.  HIV had been around sicsvthe 1920's. that's100 years ago, but as we march into 2023, "Gay Cancer" is just 40 years old.

Whether you're old enough to have lived through the horror of the 80's the indifference that turned into awareness of the 90's or the innovations of the modern age, you know how to stay safe.

And HIV isn't the only danger out there for a gay man.

But, the thing is... you don't want safety, not really.  You like the Danger and that spells DOOM for your perception of yourself. You have to come to terms with the thick hard facts that are drilling you deep. The person you struggled to see yourself as isn't who you are. 

Only you can Decide this Only you can Choose the risks.  Just remember, you can't choose the consequences. those you have to take as you find them 

 

So annoying exploring the self you've been suppressing or not 

"Either way, its o.k., you wake up with yourself." - Billy Joel 

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This is not Doom unless you buy into all that religious sexual dogma crap. No. This . Is. Freedom! You re now a male living as he should and embracing your sexual Nature, enjoying it as the male Pleasure sport that it is. The more your body gets to experience the ecstasy of sexual indulgence with other males the more you are going tyo need it. I am blessed to have hundreds of male sex partners every year (Just had 111 over the 10 days of Pig Week in Fort Lauderdale fisting and fucking my hungry ass and milking my fat penis). Embarce the Lust my brother. Live in it. You will know a level of completion and satisfaction as a male that many still living in shame, guilt and fear deny themselves. 

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