Is sex addiction real?

[NWUSHorny]

I think you cann become a sex addict, anything that takes over your life completely is an addiction. I quite often have to take a step back and consider how much time I devote to pursuing sex, when I'm stuck somewhere that it isn't easy to come by. It isn't a huge problem for me when I'm somewhere people are readily available for quick casual hookups, I don't have a problem I can get my needs/want and get on with the rest of my life.

[norefusal]

addiction is often subjective so we are always looking for rules like " most people only do this common thing 2-3 times a week so if you're doing it 8-10 times a week you may have a problem" 

i sat in on a SA 12 step for a few meetings years ago mainly because i found myself increasingly barebacking and that worried me. the people speaking at the meeting were literally out of control and ruining their lives so it just made me think i wasn't addicted after all. 

i've kinda come to think it's a problem if YOU think it's a problem. otherwise, what does it matter what benchmark you passed or not. 

[verslut]

I don't like the terms "sex addition" and "porn addiction". I only use addiction to describe drug addictions. I call it sex compulsion instead. But it's real and it's common among sex workers.

[SlampaBay]

On 11/22/2023 at 5:20 PM, brnbk said:

Many of us, would have at some point  come across the topic of sex addiction and some perhaps some even 'explored if we are one!

Sex addiction is a term used to describe an alleged addiction to sex, similar to alcohol or drug addiction; the only difference here being an addiction to a process as opposed to substances.  Some other process addictions including gambling, shopping, debt, codependency; and food as well which I guess, is somewhere in between a substance addiction and a process addiction. 

There are groups/fellowships out there that purport to help sex addicts including ones specifically tailored to meet the needs of gay sex addicts or sexual compulsives

Are these people really helping gay people who need help OR just legitimizing social homophobia — into forms that look like they are trying to help (conversion therapy etc.) but are actually harming homosexuals in the long run! 

 

I don't know what process you're referring to but the chemicals released into the brain during various stages of sex can certainly be addictive to some people.

[Latin1990]

Well there have times when I have consider myself a sex addict and even tried to find support from professional la that have tried to help me change the behavior with other activities, basically in my case I have been diagnosed with anxiety as plenty other people these days so sex and enjoying other person is one of the mechanisms I used to remain and enjoy the present I am never thinking about the future when I am with a man , the problem is that I scape most of the afternoons from work to the bathhouse or similar (home office), constantly have guys breeding me during workhours , there was even a guy rimming me while I was presenting a project delivery with the cam on in front of 20 people.

the main clue I have for it to be an addiction is because I clearly can differentiate when the sex is based is normal biological hornyness ( I am more selective of being with guys I found hot or will have chemistry with, I care about having an erection and cum even if I am being a bottom, I enjoy the pre-games more i am even more versatile, etc…) and when it is being of sexual anxious urges( no loads refused , no matter if I cum or get hard , put pressure on the top to cum faster so I can jump to the next one, alcohol is involved so I see them more attractive anyway as any addict

I found my addiction to be the best thing in the world and don’t understand people addicted to anything else being sex natural and coming from inside your body.
 

I tried to sleep, eat healthy and exercise body and mind to mitigate the consequences of this lifestyle but yeah sometimes I wish I could controlled it a little bit better so I can use the time , resources and energy into other aspects or projects in my life. 

Edited May 10, 2024 by Latin1990

[Sfmike64]

Sex addiction is not a thing. It's not a psychological diagnosis that any reputable therapist or psychiatrist would make. It's not the same as being an alcoholic or drug addict. Compulsive behavior certainly exists in all sorts of realms (sex being one of them), but it's not addiction.  Many links here:

[think before following links] https://www.google.com/search?q=sex+addiction+is+not+a+thing&oq=sex+addiction+is+not+a+thing&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigAdIBCDMzMDJqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[norefusal]

addiction. compulsion. bicycle. waffle. call it whatever the fuck you want. it's still going to be behavior you can't seem to control dispute it having tangible negative impacts on your life. 

what is the agreed upon label we can use in order to start discussing how "sex compulsion" leads directly to "drug addiction" in so much of the lgbtq population? or are we all experimenting w T or G because it makes watching baseball with our dads so much more fun? 

[Guest]

Why daily Sex needs to be an addiction and Collecting stamps is a hobby?...

Why watching porn is an addiction and watching Netflix non-stop for three days is binge watching, which is also encouraged: Let's do it more often!...

Why spending money, time and energy on CrossFit gyms is absolutely acceptable in the workplace to the point that you can go out during your lunch break and have a nice crossfit sesh, whilst sneaking out to the nearest bathhouse for a quick cum&go sesh is labelled as sex-addiction?

People have addictions to different things - whatever that is: some will have choir rehearsals three or four times a week, some will spend thousands of dollars and countless hours indoors building model trains and aeroplanes.  

It has been said that addiction is when you inflict harm on yourself. Harm doesn't need to be evident, immediate and drug -induced. It can be financial harm, mental harm, etc. 

Addiction is a powerful word which has a negative meaning attached. My father collected stamps and banknotes all his life: from the time he got home till the time he went to bed, he would spend hours with catalogues, chatting with friends about newest things and talking our ears off about his latest addition to the collection. He was labelled as a diehard collector. I, on the other hand, I inherited his determination. I am also a diehard collector. Of cum. In my ass. But no, I am not addicted to sex. It is my hobby and I dedicate a good amount of time to it. And I prefer to think that my daily evening runs at the local sex club are my crossfit hours - if some of you would see the positions I fucked and been fucked, you would certainly re-think your time in the gym!

Sex addiction or not, Happy fucks my people!

 

 

[norefusal]

give me a frickin break

ive binge watched a lot of shows: not a one of them has inspired me to go on a crime spree or become an ad exec or cheat on my spouse etc 

yet i'd pop a porn tape in and half way thru i'd purposefully stop jackin off and run over to one of the local cruising spot to recreate the random risky scenes of public often bb sex w strangers 

collecting mid-century ceramics wasn't a gateway to anything 

yet grindr hookups lead me directly to T 

last nite i ate two brownies despite being allergic to chocolate. but that didn't seem like a self- sabatage acting out like the previous nite i DMed a guy off sniffies cause he hinted he was toxic and willing to poz. 

bug chasing is not stamp collecting 

[Yultidelog2009]

Anything related to deliberately activating the brain`s reward system via external means with disregard for "societal functioning" can be viewed as addiction. (societal functioning in quotes because who defines a proper functioning human being? the community you live in? your desires as an individual ?) 
However 

1) The field of psychology is still young, so we don`t know everything about the human brain , and there are too many variables to take into account

2) As humans, we tend to over-compartmentalize, wanting everything to fit in a neat little box 

3) There is a lot of over-diagnosing going on

Overall, sex is not a problem unless it 

a) Causes clinical distress 

b) It is interfering with your day-to-day functioning, and even this is relative. If you can still hold a 9-5 while getting quickies in the office bathroom, is this defined as interfering with day-to-day functioning? or is interfering with day-to-day someone who doesn`t go to work because they need to have sex?

For now, we have this amorphous animal known as the mentally healthy human being that changes not only based on culture, but also on societies, urban settings, , earning sector, among other things.
As a nonconventional example , I like to volunteer . The sense of purpose gives me the most amazing feeling of fulfilment. I will go out of my way and use money that is meant for food as transport for bus fares, to get to my volunteer sites. Do I have an addiction and what exactly is it?
I wish there was  a 4th option to the poll which is , "We don`t know yet "

 

Edited May 11, 2024 by Yultidelog2009

[norefusal]

yeah

just like there's a difference between eating and having an eating disorder. its a literal necessity for life and yet an ED can kill you. 

i don't think anyone's going around saying they're a "sex addict" just because they got laid a few times this week. you don't start self labeling until you've reached the point where you feel you've lost rational control. usually the problem behavior is well established long before you start calling it things only to have the grammar police tell you you've mislabel your own neurosis 😜

[BootmanLA]

On 5/11/2024 at 3:15 PM, norefusal said:

i don't think anyone's going around saying they're a "sex addict" just because they got laid a few times this week. you don't start self labeling until you've reached the point where you feel you've lost rational control. usually the problem behavior is well established long before you start calling it things only to have the grammar police tell you you've mislabel your own neurosis 😜

Actually, I find (in my own, limited experience, so take that for what it's worth) that most people who call themselves "sex addicts" really mean "I love sex and I jump at every chance to have it and I think about it a lot" - which, if that were a sign of addiction, would cover an awful lot of people.

It's become trendy to call anything and everything an "addiction". So if we turn to the American Society of Addiction Medication's definition of addiction as "a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual’s life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences," then I think most "sex addiction" can be excluded from this clinical definition.

That's not to denigrate the problem, which I think is more properly classified as compulsive behavior. It's not different, in that respect, from the person who can't walk past a picture on the wall that's slightly askew without adjusting it, or who otherwise feels compelled to DO something. But unless "sex addiction" reaches the point that, say, you're getting disciplined at work (or fired) because you miss too much work because you're constantly skipping out to get laid, or some other harmful consequences occur, then I think that's the wrong term to use.

[norefusal]

when i went to SA a 12 step program where they called themselves addicts, they really did tell stories of multiple job losses, divorces, arrests, etc 

it was pretty off the hook and scared me away thinking "gee, maybe i just get laid a lot" 

my behavior at the time was compulsive as i was single and couldn't stop having nsa anon hook ups even tho it felt like eating junk food for dinner every night. 

but the real reason i went is that i was non- planned passive bug chasing. the more i hooked up the more i was bb raw and it was just a matter of time before id be poz even if it was anything even close to a stated or even fantasized desire. 

i guess "raw is law" is more a preference than a compulsion or addiction since there are safe ways to bb, but i wasn't sticking to those. 

it felt like acting out due to stress triggered from a setback. 

[partying.hard]

1 hour ago, norefusal said:

when i went to SA a 12 step program where they called themselves addicts, they really did tell stories of multiple job losses, divorces, arrests, etc 

it was pretty off the hook and scared me away thinking "gee, maybe i just get laid a lot" 

my behavior at the time was compulsive as i was single and couldn't stop having nsa anon hook ups even tho it felt like eating junk food for dinner every night. 

but the real reason i went is that i was non- planned passive bug chasing. the more i hooked up the more i was bb raw and it was just a matter of time before id be poz even if it was anything even close to a stated or even fantasized desire. 

i guess "raw is law" is more a preference than a compulsion or addiction since there are safe ways to bb, but i wasn't sticking to those. 

it felt like acting out due to stress triggered from a setback. 

SA meetings are great to hook up!

[MuscledHorse]

The thing that saves the poll on this topic is the fact it gives something resembling a definition of addiction, which is paramount when it comes to the topic of sex. Reason being that in the monogamy minded world of religious dogma, having sex for recreational purposes--i.e. not specifically to produce offspring--or having sex with multiple partners are regarded as signs of sex addiction. In reality, any undertaking crosses the line between a passion to an addiction when it negatively impacts the regular functioning of your life like the ability to hold a job and pay your bills. In spite of what the Bible wavers insist, you can be promiscuous, you can enjoy sex for sport and you can have it often and still function as a normal adult. So yes, sex addiction is real, but if we apply the standard of addiction we apply to other things like gambling, recreational drug use, or shopping on e-bay/Amazon, rather than the baseless religious definition of sex addiction, the incidence of it is very low. I do porn, am in group use settings at least four days a month (and as many as fifteen days in a month), popperbate daily and use my big toys most days. To a Bible waver I am a massive sex addict, in spite of the fact I still hold a professional high skill/degree job, I still hit the gym multiple days a week, I still clean the house and walk the dog. So to an scientific minded person I am a fully realized sexually active adult.