Sex with peculiar guys

[Sharp-edge]

Quite recently I've met several people with genetic disorders. Any kind. From ones that affect one's mind resulting in a reduced IQ (I think it is called mental retardation although I think that retardation is an offensive word but a native speaker could enlighten me), to autism spectrum disorders. There were others that affect only one's looks as in the case of albinism but there also more severe syndromes like Marfan syndrome that results in a very tall person with cardiac defects. My whole point is that all these people deviate considerable from what we may call average yet there among us and live their lives. I was just wondering, if these people have sex. I prefer thinking of all these not as diseases, but as alternative versions of genes that do not work well in the world as we have constructed it over the ages.

Some of these people I think they cannot have sex. Their mind is in a very altered state and they should be protected. Have you ever encountered during your app cruising anybody that fits this description? Was it a turn on/turn off? Would you be interested in meeting someone like that? I'm not making it any more specific since all these conditions vary. So I'm mostly referring to people that may not be very smart (decreased IQ, more than the usual non smart guy but in a condition that is considered adequate to consent) or with phenotypes (the way that somebody looks) that are quite different from what we define as "normal".

[viking8x6]

The currently appropriate phrase (as far as IQ substantially below average goes) is "intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD)". People with ASD and other forms of neurodivergence aren't any less intelligent than people without it; rather, they interact from the world (and in particular with other people) in a qualitatively different way from the neurotypical.

In general, all of these sorts of people can (and frequently do) have sex (excluding, as you say, profoundly disabled people incapable of consent).

How societal prejudices affect their experiences with sex is an active area of research in psychology and social psychology for many of these types of disabilities (often separate research for the different specific conditions). You can find many recent articles (e.g. in Psychology Today) by doing a web search on "sex life <X>" (where <X> is the name of the specific condition).

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/12/seeking-intimacy-sidebar

[topblkmale]

5 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

Quite recently I've met several people with genetic disorders. Any kind. From ones that affect one's mind resulting in a reduced IQ (I think it is called mental retardation although I think that retardation is an offensive word but a native speaker could enlighten me), to autism spectrum disorders. There were others that affect only one's looks as in the case of albinism but there also more severe syndromes like Marfan syndrome that results in a very tall person with cardiac defects. My whole point is that all these people deviate considerable from what we may call average yet there among us and live their lives. I was just wondering, if these people have sex. I prefer thinking of all these not as diseases, but as alternative versions of genes that do not work well in the world as we have constructed it over the ages.

Some of these people I think they cannot have sex. Their mind is in a very altered state and they should be protected. Have you ever encountered during your app cruising anybody that fits this description? Was it a turn on/turn off? Would you be interested in meeting someone like that? I'm not making it any more specific since all these conditions vary. So I'm mostly referring to people that may not be very smart (decreased IQ, more than the usual non smart guy but in a condition that is considered adequate to consent) or with phenotypes (the way that somebody looks) that are quite different from what we define as "normal".

 

While I'm sure its unintentional, some of your word choices and phrasing comes off as a bit offensive.

 

[Heir2012]

I don't know if it can legally be done today, but I did read of a family who had a daughter who was intellectually disabled. Fearing that she'd either be taken advantage of or even raped, they had a procedure done to sterilize her. They did it to protect her, but there were still people who said they did the wrong thing. 

It's a difficult thing...

Many people on the spectrum are capable of fully understanding what sex is and the certain ramifications of sexual choices (getting STIs, getting pregnant). Perhaps, a few understand but still need care and guidance from a guardian to protect them from untrustworthy individuals. Other disabled individuals simply can't comprehend what sex is and the ramifications having sex can have on them. 

Luckily, there are those working within various medical fields who help those who can understand live their lives normally while they help others remain protected from harm. 

Basically, don't take advantage of someone. It's simple. Only a truly horrible person would. 

[bbzh]

10 hours ago, Sharp-edge said:

Have you ever encountered during your app cruising anybody that fits this description? Was it a turn on/turn off? Would you be interested in meeting someone like that? 

A couple of years ago, I was at a naked sex party in Berlin at a very popular bar. At one point, I encountered this rather tallish guy who could not walk properly due to what seemed to be a physical deformity. His face and arm were twisted. He was also making sounds (moans and grunts that I did not deem to be sexual) that seemed to suggest he could not speak properly and was living with an intellectual disability. He obviously was green lit to come in. He had a nice body and was getting plowed bareback continuously. I was quite conflicted by the scene. After I got over the initial shock, I hoped that he was at least able to look after his sexual health. However, the longer I witnessed it, the more I was starting to find the scene hot. I was in a position where I could have fucked him but chose not to. The entire episode reaffirmed what I believe about the nature of (some) men. If presented with the opportunity to do something, with no way of being held accountable, would they do it? Hell yes. I felt that by watching this all happen, I was becoming numb to what I was witnessing and almost finding it acceptable because others were doing it. This is why I try to avoid exposing myself to anything (eg porn) or situations (in real life) where it's not clear parties are consenting adults.  Do I think most of those guys who fucked him would have fucked him under any other circumstances? No. But as I say with many things in life, when luck, preparedness and opportunity intersect, anything can occur. 

[Guest]

Neurodivergent here. You get plenty of both hyposexual and hypersexual sorts in that territory (where I stand should not be a surprise). Those of us who are extra-horny tend to be kinkier than the norm. The only real issue that comes up is that people who are predatory often see off body language and interpret it as a sign of either meth or an easy target. Those of us who are getting out there and trying to fuck tend to figure out how that part works pretty quickly, so in general we can take care of ourselves. If it's not a truly extreme case we're good to go and you don't need to have hangups over it.

[tallslenderguy]

6 hours ago, bbzh said:

A couple of years ago, I was at a naked sex party in Berlin at a very popular bar. At one point, I encountered this rather tallish guy who could not walk properly due to what seemed to be a physical deformity. His face and arm were twisted. He was also making sounds (moans and grunts that I did not deem to be sexual) that seemed to suggest he could not speak properly and was living with an intellectual disability. He obviously was green lit to come in. He had a nice body and was getting plowed bareback continuously. I was quite conflicted by the scene. After I got over the initial shock, I hoped that he was at least able to look after his sexual health. However, the longer I witnessed it, the more I was starting to find the scene hot. I was in a position where I could have fucked him but chose not to. The entire episode reaffirmed what I believe about the nature of (some) men. If presented with the opportunity to do something, with no way of being held accountable, would they do it? Hell yes. I felt that by watching this all happen, I was becoming numb to what I was witnessing and almost finding it acceptable because others were doing it. This is why I try to avoid exposing myself to anything (eg porn) or situations (in real life) where it's not clear parties are consenting adults.  Do I think most of those guys who fucked him would have fucked him under any other circumstances? No. But as I say with many things in life, when luck, preparedness and opportunity intersect, anything can occur. 

i appreciate that you thought and wrestled with this.

The one thing that stands out to me is "he was obviously green lit."  i'm guessing that he made the choice to come to the sex party and found a way to get there and be there. To me, that shows choice, desire, need. Also, if he was "getting plowed bareback continuously,"  my guess is he had prepped for the occasion, which is another expression of desire in my book.

[hntnhole]

19 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

rather, they interact from the world (and in particular with other people) in a qualitatively different way from the neurotypical.

Thanks for that interesting and important link.  

As a kid, one of my mothers cousins fits the descriptors in the article.  We never knew what/why/how he was different, we just knew he was, and we were not to make fun of him, treat him any differently than any other person.  I remember he held a number of low-skill jobs, dishwasher at restaurants, etc.  He kept to himself, but attended family gatherings, and none of us kids (or, presumably the adults) knew quite how to interact with him.  He was a gentle kind of guy, quiet, kept himself in the background, and we kids seemed to just accept that he was different in some way, and left it at that.   Kids don't understand these kinds of abnormalities, but it's not tough to be kind to those folks either.  

At (extended) family gatherings I was always asked to play requests (piano), and he always asked for a piece called Bumble Boogie - finally I told my mom to go downtown and buy the sheet music*, so he could have his request played too.  It seemed like such a simple thing to do for him, and he always appreciated it.  Now, I can't even remember how that dull piece even began .... but it served it's purpose back then.  

*I would have gladly taken my bike and done it myself, but I was forbidden to ride my bike downtown, despite having done it any number of times on the sly.  Some things we learn really early on ..... 

[BlindRawFucker1]

The widely held belief is, that those of us with any type of disability, whether physical or psychological, are “NOT” sexual beings.

 

There are far too few studies on the sexual habits of disabled people.

 

That stems from the social discomfort of talking about sex.  Also, why talk to “those” people if they aren’t doing it?  It might put ideas in their heads.

 

Even people with severe mental or psychological issues, often develop normally in a physicle sense.  So, males have erections and ejaculate, females have periods.  But, those things are often ignored and swept under the carpet.

 

Please, if you encounter someone with such a disability, at least be nice and say hello to a fellow human being.

 

Who knows, you might learn something, and make a friend.

[Sharp-edge]

22 minutes ago, BlindRawFucker1 said:

The widely held belief is, that those of us with any type of disability, whether physical or psychological, are “NOT” sexual beings.

 

There are far too few studies on the sexual habits of disabled people.

 

That stems from the social discomfort of talking about sex.  Also, why talk to “those” people if they aren’t doing it?  It might put ideas in their heads.

 

Even people with severe mental or psychological issues, often develop normally in a physicle sense.  So, males have erections and ejaculate, females have periods.  But, those things are often ignored and swept under the carpet.

 

Please, if you encounter someone with such a disability, at least be nice and say hello to a fellow human being.

 

Who knows, you might learn something, and make a friend.

I've encountered many people with genetic defects where we provided genetic counseling. The interesting part for me was the identification of a particular lesion in the DNA or chromosomic level. There were some people that you could tell they would never have sex. I remember a girl with a noonan syndrome. I was sure she would never have sex because of how severe her syndrome was but she was such a sweet creature that everybody wanted to hug. On the other hand there was a man in his 20s where he was hot but his teeth where a bit malformed and he was aggressive and a bit rude. For many (maybe even for me) he would be that bad guy that you dream to fuck you hard. But all these were not his choice, it was his phenotype that made him rude/aggressive.

What I like about genetic counseling and the management of genetic diseases is that we're trying to find solutions not problems. I sometimes think that these people may be sad for several challenges that they face and I hope that when they leave our office they can jump over these challenges. At least most of them.

[anonCUMtainer]

I love you guys! This community is awesome. The content on this thread is germane to understanding and sympathizing with the overall human condition and the various forms it takes and expresses itself.

I had a cousin who fits this description, and while perhaps we knew what the diagnosis was, we also knew not to treat him any differently. I think we all had different expectations of what he would be able to achieve regarding the cultural and religious upbringing we shared, but beyond that I never thought of him in a sexual way. I also remember working with these types of students when I was young, and developed a sincere respect for and appreciation of how diverse the human condition is and the types of challenges we are each confronted with in our own journey.

One of my favourite instagram guys fits the OP description. These are lovely people and I have the same curiosity (e.g. their relationship with sex), as I have entertained ideas of what it might be like to engage in sexual physicality with them.

Having said that, I appreciate this dialogue. I love men. I am open to meeting and experience all types of men. Which has lead me to at least one hookup from a sex app that brought me to someone like this. He was capable enough to live in alone in subsidized housing, and to have a phone and invite me over for sex...so I never questioned the desire or the consent.

Personally, I am the one who always feels awkward in these settings...I don't mind sharing a physical experience with these fellow humans but I find it can take practice to set aside your own personal biases.

[Yultidelog2009]

2 hours ago, BlindRawFucker1 said:

The widely held belief is, that those of us with any type of disability, whether physical or psychological, are “NOT” sexual beings.

 

There are far too few studies on the sexual habits of disabled people.

 

Human beings love putting things in specific boxes and having them stay there. A bit of a diversion from the topic.  I work with pediatric cancer patients in therapy, it is assumed that children in hospital wards suddenly cross a certain threshold and become patients and cease to be kids who need to play, interact, and let loose, which isn`t the case. Porting the same issue over , just because someone has a mental issue doesn`t mean their sexual drive is automatically nil.  Human beings are multifaceted creatures. Think of the differences between a picture of a diamond and an actual diamond that you hold in your hand , reflecting different facets as you twist and twirl it in light. Our current way of handling things wants to classify each individual based on the 2D "picture of the diamond," where as the actual image we need to be working with is the image of the diamond in real life as it refracts and changes light within its body . 

Edited April 21 by Yultidelog2009

[tallslenderguy]

i won't deny i have specific taste in Men, but when i see the look of hunger in His eyes, or He simply tells me He wants or needs to fuck... then eyes me as a possibility, pretty much everything else goes out the window.  

i met a guy a few years back in Palm Springs. Visually, my favorite part of a Man is His ass, which is always ironic to me because pretty much the only things i do with a Mans ass are touch, maul, kiss, lick, rest my head on, and sigh a lot. i can 'worship' a Mans ass right along with HIs Cock, i'm just not a penetrator.  So this guy would not have turned my head, He had lost His legs in a childhood accident and they were amputated all the way up to His ass, so He had no ass to speak of. He cock seemed sort of reconstructed too. But He messaged me and wanted to fuck, explaining His situation ahead of  time. i am around different people all the time, i'm a critical care nurse, so i've learned that different is just different, not "disabled."  (no one has every ability, so in a real sense, we are all abled and we are all disabled). We had a great time together.

 But again, my on button is a Man wants/needs to fuck, at that point, not much else matters to me... my switch is flipped by that and i'm presenting. Honestly, my desire runs at the surface,  if Men had any idea how much i want them..... 

[PozBearWI]

20 hours ago, topblkmale said:

 

While I'm sure its unintentional, some of your word choices and phrasing comes off as a bit offensive.

 

Perhaps but honestly I am tired of people "correcting" each other.  It's gotten to the point for me that those correcting are offensive as well.  

[GuyLover]

My most peculiar was a guy in Chicago who was a crack whore. I got him high, actually, we both got pretty high, and I got a room on the southside and took his cock in my mouth and in my ass.