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Addicted to Loads Forever?


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I started having gay sex last year and after taking my first loads, I had to do it again, and again, and again. I’ve always liked girls romantically, but crave cocks, and since I started barebacking all I can think about is cocks pumping sperm into me by the buckets. Since starting this journey I immediately got on PREP, so I could become a total cumdump. I wanted to do this badly, but now that I’ve started, I realize I’m taking at least 20 loads a week, and I can’t stop. Literally, I cannot go a day without craving it, and it seems that the more loads I take, the more it takes to satisfy me. I always wanted to get married and have a normal life, but this is so addicting I’m not sure I could ever stop. Is this forever, and to everyone that started this, was it worth it? 

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i'm confused

20 loads a week is like a part time job lol certainly a lot of loads for a guy on the DL. 

i just fucked a guy the other who had to be home by midnight so his GF didn't start asking questions. so it def happens, guys like you, but i doubt you'll be able to keep up a 20 load per week schedule AND a heterosexual marriage. 

any thought of marriage flew out the window for me the day it came out i slept w dudes. i could do it on the DL but once it became know, str8 life was officially closed to me. it's been so long i can say in retrospect it was worth it but i also know it didn't always seem that way, especially in the beginning. 

as for the gettin bred, it's addictive for sure but unlike T there's no known comedown or side effects imho. it used to be the fear of aids but prep fixed all that. it's feels great and i love being a cumdump

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4 hours ago, NewCumdumpSlut said:

and I can’t stop

Of course you "can" .... you just don't want to, and there's no reason at all that you should. 

 I've long thought that it's the excitement, the thrill of "living the raw life" to the fullest extent possible that is the "addicting" pattern of behavior.  It's the mark of a guy who's figured out who and what he is - his "place" in the world.  Why would you want to curtail (or worse, stop)  a behavior that makes you feel so fulfilled, so "whole"?   

Yes, there are multitudes of us who experience the same thrilling life, whether T or b.  Some of us are able to put raw sex on the top of the "do list", some of us would rather exercise some measure of control of our behavior; there's a wide range of choices we have in fulfilling our wholeness.  You do have to eat, you need a place to live, all of that, and if you can get those necessary things in place, and devote the rest of your life to offering your raw Hole up to other men's raw Cocks, who's to judge your behavior?

The answer is no one

It's your life - you get to decide how you want to live it.  

 

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I'm bi, versatile and a total slut. While I've never managed to get fucked, let alone take loads from 20 guys a week on a regular basis, I have at times hooked up with 30+ guys a week, but less than a quarter of them topped me, at times in my life. I did try to settle down, and was even engaged to a woman in my late 20's, but when that didn't work out became a total fuck slut throughout my 30's. The only reason I stopped, was that I moved somewhere where it would be more than a full time job to find 20 guys who want to have NSA sex in a week. At 55 I still frequently hookup with large numbers of men when I travel to a good location, and can easily hit triple digits total and get bred more than 20 times, over a 3 day weekend. Hopefully I will eventually relocate somewhere that has a good NSA hookup scene and will resume a more regular intense sex life.

Is it addictive, yes. Only you can decide if it is right for you and your long term happiness.

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You can still get other STD's even if you're on PREP. 

That being the case though,  I am right there with you (granted not 20 loads a week). 

A couple times a month I'll either go to an adult Cinema or the guy friends I know will setup a motel cum dump thing for me. I think I average over 10 loads a visit to the theaters and 20+ during a motel cum dump gb night.

No matter how much cum I get, I'm still hungry for more.

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5 hours ago, NewCumdumpSlut said:

I started having gay sex last year and after taking my first loads, I had to do it again, and again, and again. I’ve always liked girls romantically, but crave cocks, and since I started barebacking all I can think about is cocks pumping sperm into me by the buckets. Since starting this journey I immediately got on PREP, so I could become a total cumdump. I wanted to do this badly, but now that I’ve started, I realize I’m taking at least 20 loads a week, and I can’t stop. Literally, I cannot go a day without craving it, and it seems that the more loads I take, the more it takes to satisfy me. I always wanted to get married and have a normal life, but this is so addicting I’m not sure I could ever stop. Is this forever, and to everyone that started this, was it worth it? 

It certainly is forever for me...

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I can't imagine a point where I'll ever stop wanting to get filled with cum. Whether that's from random hookups or a regular partner.

But I also don't want that to be the only thing that defines me. While I'd love to be getting 20 loads a week I simply don't have the time required to get that (might be easier if I lived in a larger city).

I can spend hours on a Friday night just trying to hookup a few times. Doing that every night would be exhausting and more often frustrating.

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I've taken two loads now. I'm keeping up my straight life but I can feel myself getting more and more turned on by men and their cocks, while pussy is becoming a distant thought.

So I guess I have a life of taking loads to look forward too. Sounds like a good life.

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7 hours ago, Str8convert said:

So I guess I have a life of taking loads to look forward too. Sounds like a good life.

By all means though, make the decision regarding hiv exposure.  PreP will greatly diminish the chances of hiv, and I hope you will consider getting that protection.  It's also a good idea to get tested for the lesser std's every 3 months, so they can be treated and cured.  

Recognizing what you need, what you want out of life is a great achievement.  There are plenty of guys that never get that far, but you did. 

Welcome to Freedom.  

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On 7/22/2024 at 11:16 AM, hntnhole said:

I've long thought that it's the excitement, the thrill of "living the raw life" to the fullest extent possible that is the "addicting" pattern of behavior.  It's the mark of a guy who's figured out who and what he is - his "place" in the world.  Why would you want to curtail (or worse, stop)  a behavior that makes you feel so fulfilled, so "whole"?   

This so fucking hard. I love breeding bottoms, pussyboys, and fags. Shooting my cum inside male assholes is what I’m on this planet to do. When I’m in a boy’s ass raw, everything feels right. I’m a breeder. I fuck boys. I put cum in men. I fuck ass and leave it dripping. Breeding is not just what I do, it’s who I am. 

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9 hours ago, yunghungtop said:

This so fucking hard. I love breeding bottoms, pussyboys, and fags. Shooting my cum inside male assholes is what I’m on this planet to do. When I’m in a boy’s ass raw, everything feels right. I’m a breeder. I fuck boys. I put cum in men. I fuck ass and leave it dripping. Breeding is not just what I do, it’s who I am. 

We bottoms, pussyboys, and fags appreciate you men who are born wired to fuck and breed us and fill and mark us with your cum.  Our seed taking instincts match and serve your own.

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On 7/22/2024 at 9:59 AM, NewCumdumpSlut said:

have a normal life

For some, it's going to a certain church every morning .... for others, it's going for a long run in the morning.  Still others may read the newspapers, or any number of things. Some even use drugs as a morning eye-opener.    

These are behaviors - habits - daily routines that help regulate our daily lives, when structure of some sort seems to be important to an individual.  What the act happens to be is ancillary - it's a result of needing that kind of behavior fulfilled that's important. It sounds as if you're investing no small amount of time thinking all of this over.  If that's the case, well done. 

If taking loads is part of your daily "structure", then do that.  It's not reasonable to expect it be the same Cock every time (and you probably wouldn't find that as exciting either). Perhaps (with some time) you can build a small network of guys that need raw sex as much as you do, and help assuage your cravings, (maybe not first thing every single morning), but a dozen or more guys who feel similar, urgent needs could help.  Sating a craving, in and of itself, isn't destructive, as long as the act isn't destructive in and of itself.  

Most guys use the fuckapps these days, and once a handful of guys with similar needs read your posts, respond favorably, merely word-of-mouth (more likely texts, I suppose) could build a reservoir of hard raw Cocks that need to be drained as much as you need to drain them.  Presumably, word of (well, texts) would help increase the numbers.  Assuming it's taking the loads that's so crucial, it wouldn't matter all that much if it were sometimes the same Cocks that fuck you, would it?  As long as some Cock fucked/loaded your Hole. I know, of course, that fresh Cock would be the most fulfilling, but logistics might preclude that.  If your work is a M - F type, then the weekends would be yours to steep in your Lusts.  

 

On 7/22/2024 at 9:59 AM, NewCumdumpSlut said:

Is this forever, and to everyone that started this, was it worth it?

 I'm assuming by 'forever' you mean a life-long part of your existence ... 

to which I would answer that you're in control of what you do.  For some of us, it's easier, for some less so.  But the fact remains that only you control your "forever".  

I have many years of very regular sex under my belt (exception being the advent of hiv - when no one was fucking any one other than their partner raw, and using a condom every time they had "barnyard" sex).  I have a very regular schedule of when I exercise my lusts, and for me it's twice a week.  Yes, there are times occasionally when I give myself a little "special treat", but then I'm inclined to exert of control my life in the first place.  And yes, it has been totally "worth it".  

To reprise, only you are in control of your life, and however you choose to structure your life, that decision only has to please you.  You already know that cumdumpery is a behavior that's very important to you.  You also need other things in your life - a place to live, food, all the boring requirements - but the rest is up to you.  And know that at any time, if you choose to, it's within your power to alter the course of  your life.  Kudos for getting on PrEP, since that will preserve your chances of living a long, satisfying life.  

Best of luck as you search your mind, figuring out what you really need, what you crave, and coming to the right decision - for you.

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12 hours ago, yunghungtop said:

This so fucking hard. I love breeding bottoms, pussyboys, and fags. Shooting my cum inside male assholes is what I’m on this planet to do. When I’m in a boy’s ass raw, everything feels right. I’m a breeder. I fuck boys. I put cum in men. I fuck ass and leave it dripping. Breeding is not just what I do, it’s who I am. 

Fuck yea man. You're my kind of Top. Fuck and load our asses. It's what we want. 

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